FanFic: shinto_kuji's collection of shorts, poems, etc.

[shinto_kuji]

I decided that before I start putting up chapters of the fanfic I've been writing, I'd go ahead and get this started so I have somewhere to post the things I write every day. Some may be comedy, some may be serious, some may be poems or just little scenes and other things I write. Some may be PSO related, some may not be. Will probably be updated regularly.

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A Short - The Standup Act of Mr. Bad Jokes Man

-----

Mr. Bad Jokes Man walked onto the stage and adjusted the microphone.

"Er hem. Right, who's ready to laugh? Let me hear a holla!"

-silence-

"O... kay. So what's up with Newmans anyway?"

-several Newmans get up and leave-

"Shouldn't Newmans be babies? Am I right? Huh? Right? New men would be babies! Ah ha! Oh boy, just lost half my audience..."

-more silence-

"Okay, so how come meseta somes in cubes? Does everything in the future have to be 3d?"

-people boo-

"Man, lighten up people... How come HUmarls aren't playable characters? Huh? Man I would like to 'play' them, if ya know what I mean."

-Red Ring Rico enters the room and gives Mr. Bad Jokes Man a severe beating-

"Oh yeah... call me! Anyway, where was I?"

Mr. Bad Jokes Man looked around the room. It was empty.

"Man... some people have no sense of humor. I didn't even get around to my Dark Falz and Olga Flow bit!"

-Dark Falz and Olga Flow enter the room-

"Oh great..."


End~

[shinto_kuji]

A Poem - The Hope and the Confidence Have Left

-----

I feel lonely here.
Am I alone in this world?
Everything I do just isn't right
And I can't seem to fight it.
Why must everyone be against me?
I have done no real harm.

The sun is setting on another day,
But it will rise again tomorrow.
Life goes on without me,
It passes me right on by.
I'm the loser of the race,
The winner of defeat.

Is there any hope?
Maybe when it is all finished
And life is done with its cycle.
The light above,
Or the dark below...
It doesn't matter anymore.

The wind whispers it will be okay,
The sky says to keep pushing on,
To just go another day,
To try for a little while longer,
But I feel alone in this world.
What's the point of no hope?

[shinto_kuji]

A Poem - The Man in Yellow Pants

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Who is that man over there?
And what is he wearing?
Oh my goodness!
He's wearing yellow pants!

Who are you?
You man that wears yellow pants.
You must be odd,
Or funny at least!

Who is that man over there?
And what is he wearing?
Oh my goodness!
He's wearing pink pants!

Why do you wear those pants?
Don't you find it weird?
Those pants you're wearing...
They drive me crazy!

Who is that man over there?
And what is he wearing?
Oh my goodness!
He's wearing blue pants!

Oh wait,
That's not so different.
Come back pink and yellow pants!
Tell me why you're worn!

[Daphne]

I really like your poetry, especially the the first one. =)

[shinto_kuji]

A Short - The Stupid Soldier

-----

One afternoon on a bright, sunny day, a soldier by the name of Blippo shifted uneasily while guarding his post.

"Oh why," he moaned deeply, "why can't I go down to Ragol? I wish to smell the flowers, the clean air, and see the beautiful mountains." A look of pleasure swept across his face. "Ah, it would be so wonderful. I would play with the animals, and build a house, and stare at the clouds."

As you can see, he was quite distraught. As would be anyone in his current state of affairs. So, dear Blippo came to a decision.

"I will see the mountains, and smell the flowers, and... everything!" he shouted aloud.

So, right there and then, Blippo picked up his rifle, mounted its scope, and marched into the teleporter. But, you see, Blippo wasn't very perceptive. He hit the very first button he saw, and swish and whoom! There was Blippo standing at the entrance to the ruins.

"Oh my!" he cried, "Where are the flowers, and the mountains, and the clouds?"

Blippo made his way, somewhat carefully, through the door in front of him and lo and behold! There stood an Arlan.

"Lo and behold! There stands an Arlan!" Blippo hollered.

Yet, before Blippo could make conversation with his new friend, the beast charged right at him!

"Whoa!" the soldier yelled, "It seems as though we won't become acquaintances!"

Blippo dodged the Arlan's assault, ran to the far end of the room, aimed his rifle precisely, and peered through its scope.

"Oh ho, my friend. I have plenty of time to shoot you! Ha!" Blippo laughed.

But, as was unfortunate for Blippo, he had mounted his scope backwards. So, instead of being far away, the beast was actually right on top of the poor fellow. Ah yes, dear Blippo... they had to replace him the very next day. At least the Arlan got an appetizing lunch out of the deal, did he not?


End~

[shinto_kuji]

A Short Told in Script Form - The Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful World of PSO

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A HUmar walks into a bar.

HUmar: Hey, get me a drink.
Bartender: Sorry, I don't serve your... kind.
HUmar: The humanity! Why must I face this type of discrimination!?
Bartender: (whispers) Because you're all stupid noobs...
HUmar: What was that!? I can't take this! I'm out of here!

The HUmar leaves the bar, goes five blocks down, and enters a second bar.

HUmar: Hey, get me a drink.
Bartender #2: (looks the HUmar over) Sorry, I can't.
HUmar: And why not!?
Bartender #2: This is a non-noob bar, buddy.
HUmar: ;_; It's not fair!
Bartender #2: That's the policy. Gonna havta ask you to leave.
HUmar: (angrily) Fine!

The HUmar leaves that bar, travels a couple of blocks, and enters a third bar.

HUmar: Hey, get me a drink.
Bartender #3: You got it, buddy! What will it be?
HUmar: You mean you accept my kind here?
(A second HUmar enters the bar)
Bartender #3: You bet, we're an all noob bar, my friend. (winks)
HUmar: What the fuc-
HUmar #2: Man, I need a drink. Tired from using those 300%'s and dying all the time. (Looks at first HUmar) Hey, what's up? (winks)
HUmar #1: (Does Kamayahmayah attack) Ha! That'll teach them to mess with GokuVegetaSSJ561!!!!11!


End~

[shinto_kuji]

Thanks for the compliment on the poetry. ^_^

A Short - The Murder of a Rappy

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Detective Posho-a-momo paced nervously. He was a fairly good looking man, with slick brown hair, a firm jaw, blue eyes, and a broad forehead. He was of average height and build, but he had one distinct feature. No, not the ridiculous name. It was his unusual third arm. That's right, Detective Posho-a-momo had a skinny, ugly attempt at an extra appendage that he had never had removed. Anyway, back to the story.

Detective Posho-a-momo was talking nervously on the phone. He was being asked to do an impossible task. "So, you want me to find the fluffiest and softest of all the toilet tissue!? But, it's impossible...," his eyes darted back and forth, "They're all in the plastic! They're all in the plastic I tell you! Why must it be so difficult!?" Detective Posho-a-momo reached out his arms and cursed at Heaven itself.

"Oh wait honey, I have another call." He pushed a button on the phone and listened intently to the voice on the other end. "A dead rappy, eh? In the forest, huh? Killed in cold blood, eh? Blue feathers, huh? No leads, eh? I'll take the case!"

-----

The usually peaceful forest was brimming with activity today. Reporters stood around asking questions, police officers looked for clues, even some of the military was present.

Detective Posho-a-momo entered the scene and approached a long time friend of his, Jimmy Billybob Thewton. "Hiya, Jimmy."

"Hiya, Posho!"

"So what's the latest news? Any leads?"

"Only this, Sir." Jimmy produced an orange shoe from a plastic bag. "No prints or anything, but uh, we found it inside the rappy."

"Inside the rappy?" The detective eyes his friend. "How did it get in there?"

"Well, Sir. It seems as though the murderer gave the rappy a rather intense beat down."

"So he kicked his ass, eh?"

"Right. So what do you make of it, Posho?"

"I have a hunch. Give me that shoe and I'll go get our murderer."

Detective Posho-a-momo did just that. He approached the suspect and he fit the shoe perfectly. Not only that, but the murderer wore a fancy blue-feathered hat and had recently been dancing with wolves. He was also conviently laying facedown on the ground.

Who was it?

End~

[Sord]

On 2004-01-18 23:12, shinto_kuji wrote:
Who is that man over there?
And what is he wearing?
Oh my goodness!
He's wearing yellow pants!

My name is Sord, not the man in the yellow pants! lol

[shinto_kuji]

The poem isn't actually talking about pants, but oh well. =p

[Sord]

On 2004-01-19 14:41, shinto_kuji wrote:
The poem isn't actually talking about pants, but oh well. =p


A color blind person then? Someone on drugs, or just drunk?

[DelusioN2244]

hey dude, your writing poetry now? havnt seen ya on pso for a while. you comin back for ep3? im still on ep1 and 2 trying to get to lvl200. Im at lvl197 now. c ya later

[shinto_kuji]

Hey del. Nah, I'm not really writing tons of poetry, just some. Been busy lately, kinda been leveling my fone, but I dunno, been writing a fanfic. That coupled with school hasn't given me much time, but I can always get on sometime. Yuji said you play alot now.

[DelusioN2244]

ya i do play a lot really now, got back to the old days. Mostly just play with Y and DMC now. Y went psycho lvling.. he beat me to lvl200 O.O..

[shinto_kuji]

Well, I'm gonna get on with someone, fonewm or hucaseal or something. Laters.

[shinto_kuji]

A Poem - The Controller Fell and Broke... Curses!

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I was playing one day,
The sun was bright,
It peered through the window
And blinded my sight.

I couldn't see if it was
A Hildelt or a Hildetorr.
When I could see once more,
My HUcaseal lay on the floor.

"Curses!" I cried.
Even though I had only missed
A mere mesely Red Saber,
I was very, very pissed.

I cursed at the heavens
And cursed at the floor.
I cursed everything,
But I knew not what was in store.

I slipped on something,
Something as smooth as silk.
"Curses!" I cried out loud,
"I spilled my chocolate milk!"

I fell to the floor
With controller in tow,
And landed flat on my back
While the chocolate milk flowed.

I ignored the concussion
And looked desperately around.
"Oh no!" I screamed out,
The controller was under my mound.

I moved and looked it over,
But it was not meant to be.
The controller you see,
Was split into three.

"Egad! How can it be?
It was my favorite black one!
How can I be expected to play?
Oh wait, I can still have fun!"

I picked up the purple,
The purple controller,
I was still having a good time,
But the black made me look cooler.


End~