stupid, stupid friendship of mine...

[anwserman]

I love my friendship with Mitch, and I love it with an undying love when its good. I hate it with the fiery flames from Satan himself when its bad.

And guess what... its bad right now. I mean, not bad bad in the sense that something happened, but once again internal conflict. Grr.

Anyway, this is a quick update. Last Wednesday, on the way to Stargate, Mitch and I were talking about the party that I actually went to with him and some of his friends... I was the DD per say (I had 3.5 beers essentially before quitting), and that at the same get-together, a classmate from HS was there; her name is Nicole. Long story short, she was talking to Mitch and point blank asked him if he and I were a couple.

Yeah, he said he's straight and that we weren't. But, I found out about this last Wednesday, and the nerve of her asking just pisses me off... add in the fact that I undeniably would love to be in a relationship with him (I'm aware of the fact that it isn't gonna happen), and that he's gone in two weeks for the whole summer, and.... grrr. I don't know.

So, continuing on, tonight was our last night at volleyball, and that we have a three-month break now. We were talking about relationships and stuff, and referring to last Wednesday's conversation, I asked him if he was 18 when he lost his virginity, or that he led himself to believe that he was 18. I was semi-serious (but still joking), and that it really did happen at that age - and that he believes (and quite happy that he followed through with his thoughts) that it should be with someone special, your first time. Fuck, that alone pissed me off when he said that (oh wait, I have the same beliefs too and I've found someone but gah thats not happening either... which I am aware of), and that....

Since it was the last night of volleyball, everybody except me is 21+ so they're heading to the bars after this (they're already there, Mitch and I always talk after everybody leaves, this whole conversation is after everyone is gone please do note) and that he comments that he needs to go so he can get drunk. So, guess what I do? I say, "No, you're not." in a very serious, non-joking voice. Holy. Fucking. Shit. That scared the heck out of me. Why? He took it (which he did say this) that I'm a good influence and that I was being a friend since there is school tomorrow.... so I should be concerned for him.

Well, thats not the reason WHY I said it, trying to be a good friend... and the reason why I said it is because to me, the friendship is more then a friendship and at times I see it as that (see the Nicole thing above), and that I need to make sure that I don't make myself believe that it is what it really isn't.

So yeah, stupid friendship of mine.... once again, like normal, I'll go to bed and everything will be fine once i wake up but I just need to rant. Grrr.

(note all of my problems are inner problems, problems within myself. bleh.)



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: anwserman on 2004-04-26 20:49 ]</font>

[DurakkenX]

Hey..In my oppinion you should just tell your firend mitch straight out how you feel and such. Another thing you might consider is the thought that love can be on many levels. for instance I love my best friend and he has said that he is scared to wake up with me raping him one day lol, but anyways...I love him as familly and there is NOONE that knows me better than him. And as we have this mutual relationship we both know that even though we are friends we both love each other and have said it to each other and neither of us will ever utter those words to even out famillies so yeah...there is love and then there is love..find out what yours is

[anwserman]

On 2004-04-26 21:00, DurakkenX wrote:
Hey..In my oppinion you should just tell your firend mitch straight out how you feel and such. Another thing you might consider is the thought that love can be on many levels. for instance I love my best friend and he has said that he is scared to wake up with me raping him one day lol, but anyways...I love him as familly and there is NOONE that knows me better than him. And as we have this mutual relationship we both know that even though we are friends we both love each other and have said it to each other and neither of us will ever utter those words to even out famillies so yeah...there is love and then there is love..find out what yours is



I will, sometime actually.

Why? Because we've talked about this subject (and a hell of a lot more) in deep, face-to-face, and that we've come unscathed from the talks. Hell, he bitches to me about his girlfriend all the time (don't ask, please don't ask or I'll snap... and perhaps bitch isn't the right word but you know what I mean.)

Well, I ranted and now I feel better now. Thanks. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif (feel free to continue replying if you feel like doing so.)

[derBauer]

I respect for nicole for asking. Unless she already knew and was being stupid about it.

[_Ted_]

Jeez Anwserman, you're realtionships are the most confusing things......having a friend leave for 3 months does suck though....especially one that you spend a lot of time with.

[LollipopLolita]

why would her asking piss you off? she was just asking. she meant nothing by it. everyone is entitled to their own opinions. just because they don't quite fit yours doesn't give you reason to be angry about it. stop over thinking and being emotional and dramatic. stop picking at small things thinking they mean something else. pay attention to the positives. stop following just your emotions, you have strong hormones at this point. use your head, use logic. if you know that you have inner problems, stop griping, fix it. live life, learn to breathe, let go of the little things. learn to appreciate things and their value, cease complaining. this applies to everyone. relax and chill, you'll find yourself to be calmer and less anxious and have less tension. you have posted before that you tend to overthing and get overly emotional.

honestly and i mean all of this with no offense and only with your best intentions in mind. so hopefully you won;t get mad, but there is a reason why the term "high school" drama exists.

[Sord]

On 2004-04-26 23:19, LollipopLolita wrote:
why would her asking piss you off?

this kind of conflicts with another rant of yours about treating gays like just people, it is not considered unusual to ask if a guy and a girl are a couple, so what's the biggies about asking if a guy and a guy are a couple.

Any ways, three months, geesh, it will be your longest lasting problem mister good karma. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/eviltongue.gif seriously i feel for you though, it's happened to me once or twice.

as for just the relationship... i have no idea what to say.

[Armok]

You only really are pissed off because you feel hurt that mitch gave an answer that made you out as a 'average' friend.

[LollipopLolita]

sord, that's question wasn't directed at me was it? because i have no idea what the big deal is with her asking. i ask my friends and they don't have a fit, so who knows.

[Scales_of_Air]

On 2004-04-27 08:38, LollipopLolita wrote:
sord, that's question wasn't directed at me was it? because i have no idea what the big deal is with her asking. i ask my friends and they don't have a fit, so who knows.

None of us really know her motives, as we can't read her mind and I don't think anyone of us posters was there in person. So, instead of assuming, look at it in an abstract point of view and not the motives but the effect on Answerman. Just because your friends don't "have a fit" doesn't mean everyone else won't. It's not very empathetic towards answerman to tell him he shouldn't make things more dramatic when this event obviously effected him. Sheesh.

I agree with Armok.

[LollipopLolita]

okay well answerman was assuming too. and the effect might have been over emotionalized or dramaticized. it's not a question that will throw a person into an upset mood. if she didn't mean it, she didn't mean it. why iternalize it and cause yourself to feel bad?

can't shrug small things off? need to pick at small things and make yourself feel bad? well even buddha says you are the cause of your own misery. seriously, there's plenty of other things to worry about.

and i wasn't trying to be empathatic. if you're going to be empathatic towards everything, it doesn't work. there comes a point in time when everyone should realize sometimes, it's a little too much. i'm just being honest. my friends didn't have a fit because it's not something to have a fit about, people realize it's harmless with no bad intentions. just because it will make you have a fit doesn't make it right either. how come you're the only one having the fit then?

i'd rather a person see things from the right perspective instead of being dramatic and overly emotional about it. i don't baby people with their problems. i'm not going to let childishness and silliness grow and fester and tolerate it. i would expect everyone to try to act maturedly and think logically. have some common sense. to me, it's better if they grow in the right direction, and not just fester in inappropriate emotions. i would expect my friends to be honest with me if i was being stupid or if i did something wrong because that would help.

have a problem? work on it, try to fix it, deal with it the best you can, grow from it. i don't respect people who do nothing else but whine about it (not directing at answerman). and yeah, no need to say easier said that done. lots of people do it.

strength comes from fortitude.

lots of people go through a lot worse. and don't say well don't minimize my emotions and problems. i'm not, but one should always think of this and how lucky they are so they can learn to appreciate life, live it right and realize the importance of living it right. and realizing our place in the world and that seriously it's not all that bad all the time. sometimes you yourself makes it out to be.


and this is in general, not directed at OP


and personally, if my friend asks me a question like this and it bugged me, i would have just asked her why she asked the question. then i can know her original intentions and see if my actions are appropriate. problem solved.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LollipopLolita on 2004-05-04 01:46 ]</font>

[KaFKa]

and i thought high school drama stopped after high school http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif