PhotonDrop 2: Twenty One Years Later, chapter 15 is now up!

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

...
Huh?
Wha?
Where am I?
What is this place?
Its dark...
I feel like... I'm in... water?
What is this place?!

-

Pioneer 2 has suffered many changes, the expulsion of Princple Tyrell, The Four Heroes 'saved' Rico and Flowen, most Androids were terminated, and a group of Hunters broke away to live on Ragol.

And this is only the beginning for the populous of the Pioneer 2...

-

Three Hunters are standing inside a ship, outside, a larger ship called the Morgue slowly passes by.

The Hunters consisted of a HUmar clad in a blue suit and green ponytails, his skin was tan, and a Victor Axe was held in his right hand, but hung over his shoulder. Another was a rather skinny RAcast, its painting was dark, but a white area covered his chest, with a stag Cutlery in his right hand he rubbed the back of his odd head with his left hand. The third was a RAmarl, her blue and grey outfit looked worn out, as most colors were faded, she wore her hair in a ponytail, but it was corn rowed, her forehead covered by an orange bandana, on her hips layed an arsenal of weapons, a set of Mechguns, an old Brand, and a Desert Eagle handgun, a family aireloom from her homeworld's past. They all looked aged, for years had passed since the day they lost a friend in the Ruins to a strange HUcaseal.

The HUmar then spoke,"It's been so long since I've seen some action, you think something could have happened by now, right Remix?"

The RAcast turned from the large window and shrugged his shoulders,"I dunno, my old parts are creaky, I doubt if battle started I would last as much as I could have back when we entered Ragol's orbit."

Suddenly the RAmarl spit at the ground and cursed, she looked at a newscast with Dol Grisen, the new principle on screen and cursed,"Damn! The monsters are gone! Why cant we land the friggin ship already?! I'm tired of standing on this space boat!"

The HUmar ran up to the RAmarl and stopped her from shooting the TV,"Calm down Camila, you dont need to be arrested, remember, one more offense and you get jailed for life."

"Dammit Techno! You know how I am! I'm allergic to jackasses! They make me so damn mad! I shoulda left with the Arkz whem they forced there way out of this hell hole."

"True true..."

Remix stepped toward a ramp that led to a teleporter and called,"Come on everyone, its time to go home, any later and we'll be arrested for breaking curfue."

Camila laughed,"Breaking curfue?! I'm a grown-ass woman! How can a curfue be placed on me?"

"C'mon Camila." Remix ended dragging the RAmarl by her arms.

-

I... feel cold, I can't see much...
Where am I?

-

Techno and Camila stood outside a two floor home, like the rest of houses on the block it had cream colored sidings and black shutters, a two space vehicle garage, and a tree growing in the frontyard. Street lamps lit up the road, for the sky was black, with no moon currently around to provide light.

"Man, I wish I could see Item Girl again..."

"Yeah, it was fun to be around PhotonDrop, in the short time I knew her I had become very attracted to her and-"

"You liked her?"

"Yeah, she was just pretty much a perfect girl, she acted cheery here on Pioneer 2 but on Ragol she knew how to tear up her enemies..."

"Hmm, but you remember how the doctor has to end us a note about when she wakes from her stasis right?"

"Yeah, but they really needed to have a visiting hour, I can barely stand this, I want to meet her again, I want to fight alongside her once more..."

"Its late, we should go to bed." Camila said, then she yawned and went inside."

"Yes, i suppose so." Techno finished as he followed his RAmarl friend inside.

-

Whats this on my face?
It feels like a mask... it is.
I can hear water moving when I move.
This mask must be letting me breath in here...
I want out of this thing...

Hey! I see a red light! Two circles! followed by four arrow like lights!

I remember now!

"Rati!"

The red lights turned to face the newman female in the tank, it chirps with joy and bobs happily closer.

"Rati! Get me out of here!"

The red Rati chirp more and ram into the glass window.

"Come on Rati! Once more!"

The Rati float away, then with one swift spin they break open the tank, water rushes out knocking the
Rati away.

"Good job!" The newman female cheers. She unstraps the mask around her face and climbs out. She kneels down in the puddle and picks up her Rati.

"Thank you sooooooo much!"

The mag just chirps in response.

She was naked, her long red hair was matted to her back as water dripped off of her.

"Hmm, Rati? Help me find my cloths please."

She searched the dark room and finds a towel, quickly drying herself off the Rati bump into her abdomen. They were carrying a basic HUnewearl outfit, black short shorts, a metal leg guard, a sleeveless top with a small neck brace, and a wrist gaurd that also held a small computer.

"Hmm, now where's umm..."

The left Rati shook, a pair of panties fell out of the short shorts and a bra from the top.

"Okay?"

The Rati floated away and the area was dark again.

"Wait Rati, stay, I need your glow to see things."

But the lights of the room flickered on.

The newman female donned her outfit and flipped a switch, draining the water out of the room, as she moved for the door a red ring caught her sight.

"Huh? What the heck?"

Attached to the ring, was a note, the newman female picked it up and read.

Dearest cousin,

I know how much you liked my ring when we were little, so I am giving it to you, but let it be known that I am no longer of this world.
The demon Falz had taken my soul, and I was saved by the Four Heroes, allowing me to rest in peace.

Take my Red Ring, it shall serve you well, for scientists have told me it would never break on the day I recieved it, meaning, it gives better protection.

Enjoy, Heather!

Sincerely,

'Red Ring' Rico.

PhotonDrop smiled,"Rico was always a nice girl." She then put the ring around her wrist and exited the room, where she was greeted by a rather old Doctor.

"Ahh, Miss Heather Tyrell! I see the chamber had healed all your wounds!"

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-08-21 21:00 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-09-23 16:17 ]</font>

[EJ]

Hmm...interesting but since this is the first time I read your fanfic I really don't know your characters well but it seems like a good start

[PhotonDrop]

Just read my first ficcy, sure it may rush at places, but it'll get you the background information that everyone will need.

[Doomed2k]

Good job. Not many fanfics catch my attention but this one is surprisingly interesting.

Maybe I should try writing a fanfic...it would be a good alternive to drawing all the time...

[odie2088]

i wanna read more!

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-05-14 21:29, Doomed2k wrote:
Good job. Not many fanfics catch my attention but this one is surprisingly interesting.

Maybe I should try writing a fanfic...it would be a good alternive to drawing all the time...



lol, just dont get suprised if one or two of the future chapters suck, this is my second fic... well third if you count The Beach...

[Doomed2k]

[/quote]

this is my second fic... well third if you count The Beach...

[/quote]

I'd have to read them one of these days. From what this chapter alone sounds like, the other ones should be pretty good too.

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-05-14 21:43, Doomed2k wrote:


this is my second fic... well third if you count The Beach...

[/quote]

I'd have to read them one of these days. From what this chapter alone sounds like, the other ones should be pretty good too.



[/quote]

The first one only gets good near the end |:D

[EJ]

Ok I just read your first fanfic and wow it take that long to heal anyway it was short and fast with a good story unlike the fic I'm working on whuch is getting a little long but it has nothing to do with Pso. Anyway keep up the good work ^_^

[Sagasu]

Awesomeness! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

This is shaping up to be really good Pd! can't wait till the next chapter http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 2: Shed Some Light

PhotonDrop, the HUnewearl stared blankly at an old doctor before her, the red Rati bobbed up and down behind her.

"Umm, do I know you?" she asked.

The Doctor adjusted the collar of his light blue shirt and replied,"Well, you really don't, but your friends Techno and Camila brought you here. It's a good thing they did too, because you were in awful shape."

"Why?"

"Apparently you recieved a near fatal wound in your chest caused by a HUcaseal thrusting a Claw type weapon into you."

Images of her brief fight with the HUcaseal, X, flashed in her mind.

The doctor removed a small clipboard from a plastic case hanging on the door PhotonDrop had just left from. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Dr. Simon Capulet, I was in charge of your healing process."

"Oh, umm, thanks I guess. Now, umm, could I like, go home now?"

"Yes you may, but we'll need to call a friend of yours to pick you up. Please wait in the room over there while we make the call."

"Sure, thanks Doc!"

"You're welcome."

-

Techno sat in the living room of his house, a HUcast was opposite him, the HUcast was really short, his body was mostly black, with dabs of yellow at some places, his head was round, except for the rod protruding from the back.

"So, SF-9, where's the monthly rent?"

The HUcast shifted,"Error, SF-9 is no longer by that name, it is changed to name: Trimate."

Techno kicked his feet up on the coffee table,"Yeah yeah, Trimate, where's the monthly rent?"

"Trimate is low on Meseta, insufficient for rent."

The phone then rang, Techno reached over and answered it,"Hello?"

On the other end Dr.Capulet's mild voice began,"Hello, this is te office of Capulet and Miles, a patient that you left here years ago has finally awoken, we need you to get her, as she was bypassed by Pioneer 2's census and is technically not a citizen anymore."

Techno smiled,"Okay Doctor, we'll be there soon." He carefully put the phone away and leapt from his seat. "WOO! Hey Camila! PhotonDrop's back! WOOO!"

Camila charged from the upstairs and slid down the wooden rail, she ran up and hugged Techno and cheered,"Finally! Item Girl's back!"

Suddenly the house shook, and from the basement emerged Remix,"PhotonDrop? 'Bout time eh?"

Techno ran to the front door and threw it open,"C'mon, we have to pick her up!" Camila and Remix soon followed, but before Remix closed the door, he said to Trimate,"Tell the others where we are okay?"

-

Photon layed back in her chair, she was dozing in and out of sleep when suddenly the door opened, a HUmar, RAcast, and RAmarl ran in, causing PhotonDrop to jump up,"Hey guys!!"

The four hunters ran into a group hug, the Rati circled around and chirped, PhotonDrop then looked at her friends and said,"Hey, you guys look old, what happened?"

Camila stepped back and said,"Dang girl! Didn't the Doctor tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Remix added in,"Miss PhotonDrop, twenty one years have passed."



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-05-15 17:07 ]</font>

[Kuea]

I know how much you liked my ring when we were little, so I am giving it to you, but let it be known that I am no longer of this world.
The demon Falz had taked my soul, and I was saved by the Four Heroes, allowing me to rest in peace.

well I seen this typo in the first one.

I really like your fan-fics.
what inspires you?

[Sagasu]

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

Now thats a twist if I've ever seen one. Great job, keep up the astonishing work! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[EJ]

it's a little short for me cause i'm so use to reading long fanfic but that's not a bad thing. It's seem PD did a goku on her friends

[PhotonDrop]

Eclair - Typo is duly noted and fixed. Thanks for the compliment, and my inspiration... is a secret! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

ForceEJ - lol, yeah, a Goku, right http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif

Sarunakai - wait until the antagonists show up! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-05-15 17:39 ]</font>

[odie2088]

i wanna read more...take your time though, you can't rush good things...most of the time you can't, at least

[Robo47]

Hmm... Dr.Capulet???
>_>
<_<
>_>
<_<

Really nice, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME READ YOUR WORK AT HOME?!

[odie2088]

you know, i think thats romeo and juliet reference...dr. montague, and now dr. capulet...stupid lovestruck kids...why wasnt that play about the bubonic plague...i would've liked it a lot more

[PhotonDrop]

Shh, Odie! Dont screw anything up for me! jk

Dr.Capulet is just a coincidence.


And Robo, you know I'm no going to let you read unfinished material how many times must I tell you that?

[odie2088]

aw i wasnt right? crap

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 3: The Gangs All Here

"WHAT?!" PhotonDrop screamed, hearing such news "Twenty one years?!" She was becoming more hysterical.

Techno grabbed his friend by her shoulders and said,"Its okay, you had actually bypassed the worst things that Pioneer 2 experianced!"

PhotonDrop calmed down a bit, she asked,"Like what?"

"A Holocaust, a liberation from Coral, a deadly disease being sent through Pioneer 2 for starters."

Techno then helped his friend to a chair. PhotonDrop rested her head in her arms and her elbows on her knees, she quietly sobbed,"I've lost so much of my life..."

Just then Camila stepped foward, she scolded,"Damn Item Girl calm down! You still have your youth! You haven't changed in that 21 years! But look at us! We've definately lost our youth long ago! Cheer up and be happy dammit!!"

PhotonDrop looked up from her hands, she looked at her reflection in the BEE Mailer screen. It was true, she hadn't changed a bit, but Techno and Camila looked much more mature. "What about Remix?"

Remix pounded his chest with his right fist,"This is a new body, better material, well, actually its just new frame. Techno said there was nothing wrong with my other parts."

Camila cleared her throat and said plainly,"Well, lets get you signed out, I'd like to introduce you to some freaky Hunters."

-

On the ride home PhotonDrop observed minor changes in Pioneer 2, like a ship floating around outside, and the Principles Office no longer being where it used to be. But she didn't question those things, given the time she was gone.

Not to long after that the vehicle pulled into a driveway, PhotonDrop smiled,"You guys kept my old house?"

Remix opened the car door and said,"Yep, and we had no idea you had changed the papers to say we lived there before our Ruins trip either."

PhotonDrop giggled,"Heh, yeah..."

As the four entered the house, three other Hunters were at the sofa watching TV.

Camila then said,"Item Girl, these are the crazy Hunters I told you about."

The three stood up and saluted, PhotonDrop rolled here eyes and tried to ignore them(they were freaking her out so to say).

Trimate, the small black and yellow HUcast stepped foward and introduced hisself, then a RAmar clad in a white and orange suit filed next to Trimate, his skin was pale and his face had three grey lines painted on,"Hiya! My name is Syncesta!"

Next a FOnewearl that was almost as tall as PhotonDrop stepped up, she wore a standard FOnewearl outfit with a crazy hat that curved down onto her pointy ears, she said in a cheery voice,"Hello! I'm Moon Atomizer!"

PhotonDrop smiled, then leaned over to Camila's ear and whispered,"Why do these guys have item names like me?"

Camila laughed,"I told you they were crazy! Me and Techno told them of how you stopped the psycho HUcaseal in the Ruins and they became obcessed with you, and made a 'clan'..."

Syncesta spoke up,"Ah yes, our clan, Clan Item Box. We are the clan to end all clans, unlike others we have Military ties in this new Government so our affairs are overlooked all the time."

"So you guys are criminals?"

Trimate shook his head,"Nonono! Trimate would never join criminal clan! This clan was meant to be leisure hunting!"

Then Moon Atomizer interupted,"But sadly the animals of Ragol disappeared, believed to be extinct."

Syncesta added,"We would go to the Seabed facility where the creatures never stopped spawning but the Lab had cut access off from even Hunters with clearance level 200."

PhotonDrop frowned,"Oh... thats sad... all the animals?"

Remix began to move for the kitchen,"Right down to the littlest Rag Rappy."

"Well, I'm gonna do some things and go to the training hall, I could use some exercise."

The group of seven split up and went along with their buisness, as a little red light flickered in the corner.

-

"So that girl has what we need?", a large HUcast asked.

"Yes, our clone of her even failed to mimic the abnormal energy within her body.", a tall FOnewm answered.

Just then a HUnewearl clad in green with tanned skin ran up,"I'm NOT a failure. Its not my fault your stupid machines failed there job."

"No, my computer did its job perfectly, you are just a failure."

"Say that again you son of a bitch!" The HUnewearl shouted drawing a single Musashi.

Then a tall, and really wide shouldered RAcast reached out and grabbed the HUnewearl's wrist. Followed by a smalled RAcast taking the Musashi from her,"Now now! Didn't your mother ever tell you to not play with knives?" The larger RAcast lifted her higher into the air.

The FOnewm then looked at the HUcast and said,"BH-02, subdue Goliath."

The HUcast nodded, he unsheathed a Yamigarasu and held it at base of the large RAcast's neck, and with a deep, menacing tone commanded,"Drop the girl, before I drop you." And as those words left his mouth, a dark cloud formed around dark blade. Needless to say the RAcast obliged.

The HUnewearl rubbed her wrist and watched as the four continued the talk before she interupted.

I now know what I must do.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-05-18 06:24 ]</font>

[EJ]

BH-02? What happen to the other you know. That item clan would freak anyone out. I enjoy reading it and look forward to the next chapter.

[PhotonDrop]

Think about 'BH' for a while, and then about NPCs already existing in ep1&2 and it'll make sense.

lol, yeah, I believe they would freak anybody out! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Sagasu]

black hound 02? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

continuing well, hope to see more work from you soon! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-05-16 14:07, Sarunakai wrote:
black hound 02? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif


You got it Saru!

[Robo47]

Hmm... I like the antagonists, but I wonder what that new HUnewearl will do in the future. Hmm...

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 4: Welcoming Commitee

A three days had passed since PhotonDrop's reawakening. The Clan 'Item Box' recieved formal letters telling them to turn over 'the girl' as they put. They became cautious of their surroundings. Death's Key was coming for PhotonDrop...

"I don't like this!!" PhotonDrop exclaimed, she was locked in the house for too long. "You know I can take whatever comes at me!"

Trimate marched into the living room, he was carrying a stack of letters he then said aloud,"Bills Bills Bills Bills Bills, Why must Trimate suffer Bill's mail!? oh wait, heres one for Master PhotonDrop." He then extended his small metallic hand with a letter in it, PhotonDrop recieved it and thanked her HUcast friend. On the letter, was the Tyrell family symbol instead of a return address. PhotonDrop activated her Neis Claw and carfully cut the top of the envolope off. Inside was a piece of paper that read:

Dear Heather,

Its been so long, I had just heard of your return, I'm pleased that you survived the fight. But I know of your stalkers, I wish to give you another gift. You have the Red Ring from your cousin, yes? Well, give these to your friends and you will share an unbreakable bond with them, all of you and your friends skills will increase ten fold when you are near eachother. Please stay safe, and remember, one of your enemies is not what they seem...

Sincerely,
Aunt Georgia

PS, sorry for being so blunt and rushy with this letter...

"Give 'these' ? What does she mean?"

Suddenly Trimate runs in carrying a cardboard box, it was rectangulr in shape and had whte string wrapped around it,"The letter was attached to this, sorr that Trimate inconveinianed you Master PhotonDrop."

PhotonDrop accepted the box and answered,"Thanks, but dont call me 'Master' okay?"

"Negative."

PhotonDrop just narrowed her eyes at the short 'cast. Then turned her attention to the box, once again she activated her Nei's Claw and opened it, inside was packaging foam, and a blue glint. The HUnewearl kneeled down and dumped the contents on the floor. Inside were Rings of the colors blue, purple, green, yellow, black, and white; they were all identical to her Red Ring, except for the color diffrence that is. "Hey everybody! Come here please!" She called out, soon all of her friends were in the living room.

"Whats up Miss PhotonDrop?", Remix questioned. Camila then added,"Yeah, why didja call us all in here?"

PhotonDrop picked up the Rings and held them out,"Gifts, from the Tyrell family."

"Oh wow!" Moon Atomizer exclaimed, seeing all the different colors of them.

Each person took the Ring that appealed to them the most.

Techno took the Green Ring.
Camila took the Blue Ring.
Remix took the White Ring.
Trimate took the Yellow Ring
Syncesta took the Black Ring.
And Moon Atomizer took the Purple Ring.

Each person's new sheild was accented by a color on their clothes.

"Trimate beleives this makes us a decent clan!" Trimate cheered.

"Yeah, everyone had something to identify which group they were with, now we do to!" Moon Atomizer continued.

Camila looked at the two plainly and said,"Dontcha think you're going overboard with this clan stuff?"

Trimate and MoonAtomizer stopped cheering and bowed their heads, in unison the two said,"Sorry..."

"Well, can I leave this house now?" PhotonDrop asked.

Techno nodded,"Yes, maybe we should go find those folks that are after you?"

"Lets go!"

-

Walking down by the old shopping center, Item Box looked over a note from PhotonDrops stalkers.

"Where do you think they'll be?" Syncesta asked as he rested a massive Wals over his shoulder.

Remix flicked his Stag Cutlery on and took a fighters stance,"As close to Miss PhotonDrop as they can get..."

Everyone drew their weapon, something was waching them.

Suddenly a black and red, tall and wide shouldered RAcast stepped out from the old Priciples Room warp. Everyone stared at it. As the RAcast turned, a smaller one could be seen resting on his shoulder, this one was white and light blue in color, it then spoke in a snide tone,"Hello guys, let me introduce me and my friend here, I'm David, he's Goliath. We are with Death's Key and demand that you hand that HUnewearl over to us. Trust me, if you do, it'll be less painful for you."

Remix and Trimate stepped foward, "You guys stay back! Me and Trimate will take these idiots on!"

The RAcast pair, and the HUcast with the RAcast that thinks he's a HUcast stared at eachother, suddenly a small shower started.

"Well, I'm not one for flashy deaths," David said,"But it has to happen somehow!" He then jumped off of Goliaths shoulder and drew a set of Yamato.

Goliath too equipped his weapons, dual Panzer Faust.

"Trimate is not fearful of you two idiots, right Buzzkill?" Trimate announced.

Remix then turned to the short HUcast and asked,"Buzzkill?"

"Not you dummy, Trimates Chainsawd."

"Oh."

As the Chainsawd rumbled to life, things became quiet, as if time itself stopped for the battle at hand.

[EJ]

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif he named his chainsawd Buzzkill. That's the funniest thing I have read today.

[PhotonDrop]

Where's Sarunakai? Where? He normally would have posted by now!

[Solstis]

*Solstis lumbers out of the PSO fic writer's refuse pile*

"Hm..."

*Reads PD's fic*

Ooh! Cool PD!

You have an energetic style that takes a litte getting used to, but I love how your stories flow (this one better than the last)

You've gotten much better with your descriptions, there's none of that choppyness, and the dialog is as good as ever.

WoOoT!

*Crawls back into the refuse pile*

BTW: There are some grammar hiccups and spelling errors here and there, one in the first chapter and the others... somewhere.

And in case anyone cared, yes, I am making another fic.

Very Slowly.

[/shameless plug]

[PhotonDrop]

lol, ty, and dont worry, I dont mind a reader doing a really brief ad in my fic.

[Sagasu]

On 2004-05-18 19:46, PhotonDrop wrote:
Where's Sarunakai? Where? He normally would have posted by now!



Sorry my fair lady, I had pressing matters at hand (much writiing in my own ficcie http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif)

But now I have arrived! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Awesomeness.

As someone who I always mistpell their name has stated before me, you truly have been developing your skill as a writer. Length, details, character development, everything is starting to drift together now.

If I had a hat I'd take it off http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[PhotonDrop]

ATTENTION!! PD2:21YL will be on hold for a week or two, my boyfriend had returned from the Middle East and I want to spend time with him, but don't worry, I'll keep my notes and wont lose track of where I was.

Sorry to dissapoint you, my faithful readers.

Actually, after I post the next chapter(which is half done already) I'll take my break, and who knows, by time I get back to it, I'll have better ideas for the future. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif



nevermind, Robo47 was in an accident recently, he's in the hospital and will be there for quite a while...

Well, I'll have the next part up soon.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-05-20 20:39 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

A week or two eh? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif

Well I suppose I might live that long without another chapter. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

Have fun! Play safe!

Ah well enjoy yourself http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[PhotonDrop]

TY Saru!

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 5: The Dueling Droids

"Are you ready?! Here I come!!" David the RAcast screamed as he started to sprint with his Yamato's at his side. Remix spun the Stag Cutlery in front of him as David made a swing, the left blade flew out of his hand and landed away from the four droids. In a brief second, Remix had brought up his knee and smashed it into David's face, the tiny RAcast was flung up into the air. While there, David pleaded for assistance,"Goliath you jackass! Get them!!"

Goliath raised both Panzer Faust and fired, the two explosive shells zipped through the air, going right past Remix, over Trimate and into a wall. Debris exploded from the impact and showered the place with dust and rocks, adding to the water already raining down.

By this time David had made his way from infront of the HURAcast and atop Goliaths shoulders. He drew a Baranz Launcher and fired just as Goliath reloaded and joined his short friend. Remix and Trimate scrambled out of the way as the six missiles flew at them. Trimate was caught by one of the smaller missiles, blowing off his chest plate.

"Buzzkill! Trimate and you are going in! Remix! You come too!" Trimate ordered, he then proceded to lift up the Chainsawd and charged.

"What the world?! Trimate, you idiot..." Remix put his Stag Cutlery and flicked out a Varista, and with precise android aiming, capped the Panzer Faust shells before Goliath could fire.

"Thanks mate!" Trimate shouted as he jumped through the cloud of smoke. The sounds of Buzzkill hitting metal were heard, and as the smoke cleared, it was clear that Buzzkill has cut the Fausts shafts, never to be fired again.

Goliath fell to his knees and growled, David stepped off of his large friend's back and ran to retrieve his lost Yamato. Remix holstered the Varista and dashed into Davids way, keeping him from the blue photon katana.


"Something wrong?" Remix taunted,"Are you nervous? One blade against two? or are you mad, mad that if you drew your Launcher I'd smash it?"

"YOU DUMBASS! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!! LET ME THROUGH!!" David screamed, with an odd sound of fear in his voice. Remix held his twin saber in one hand, and his Varista in the other, keeping it aimed at David. The short blue RAcast dashed past Remix and didn't stop as he yanked the Yamato out of the metal floor. Everyone wondered why he was so scared, but the silence was broken when Trimates voice pierced the air,"MAKE WAY FOR TRIMATE!!"

As Remix looked toward Trimate's original location he noticed how the midget HUcast was flying towards him, with no time to dodge.

KRAM! the sound of metal mashng into metal, Trimates small body suprisingly kept going even after picking up Remix's tall frame. The two careened into a wall that used to be a door for the old shopping room. Amidst the rubble Trimate stood up and brushed himself off,"I said make way for Trimate."

Remix too stood up and checked his person, he electronically sighed seeing the Cutlery was still at his side.

Then loud thuds began, everyone shifted toward Goliath, who held in his hands an Iron Faust, a rocket launcher capable of doing massive damage. In a bizarre computerized voice threatened,"YoU KiLLeD mR. anD mRs.BOoM StICK. NoW I kIll yOU."

If Remix had a human face, his eyes would have bulged,"Mr. and Mrs. Boomstick? What, were you and him built on the same assembly line?" motioning at Trimate.

"Trimate doesn't know, but there is a program I used to improve my battle efficiency, I beleive it was then that I named Buzzkill, Buzzkill."

"Great, so this monster RAcast knows what to do when I attack, tha-"

"Actually, I think he's malfunctioning, it shouldn't have been so easy to slice the Fausts in half if he had that program in him."

Goliath was getting closer, he then stopped,"BoOM jR. wILl Be rEsPONsIblE fOR YOuR DemIsE."

Remix and Trimate ran as fast as they could, 'Boom Jr.' had launched a bomb at the shopping room. Remix and Trimate dove out just as the room burst into flames.

PAK! PAK! PAK! Syncesta lowered his giant Wals, three bullets pierced Goliaths armor. The giant RAcast turned, and with the same voice said,"ThANk YoU."

Remix put away his weapon and Trimate 'let Buzzkill sleep'. The two droids regrouped with the rest of Item Box.

PhotonDrop eyed her Red Ring and pondered out loud,"I wonder why Death's Key wants me so bad? And why did Goliath thank Syncesta for killing him?"

Camila cleared her throat and PhotonDrop smiled,"Oops sorry, I do that sometimes..."

Just then the sounds of light footsteps began. And from inside the burning shopping room, a tall figure could be seen. As it came closer details were easier to see, it was a HUcast, painted dark purple with a spot of black on his chest.

The members of Item Box drew their weapons.

"Hello, everyone." It said in a deep tone. "I hope this evening finds you well."

Camila, hot headed as ever, stepped foward and lined the sight on her Desert Eagle with this new HUcast's head,"Who are you? More of Death's Key?"

"Yes, I am, but I will not fight with you just yet. My Master would rather let our forces ranks challenge you in order from weakest to greatest."

"Skip to the end will you?"

"I want to tell your HUnewearl friend that this 'war' can stop, my Master wants her body and won't kill her."

"What kind of mother fu-" Camila's words were cut short, PhotonDrop began to yell,"Well you can tell your jackass master that I'm NOT a prostitute!!"

"No, theres a factor within you that could 'help' Pioneer 2."

Camila's finger tightened on the trigger,"Smells like bullshit." and with a loud roar the handgun fired.

PING

"I'm warning you now" the HUcast said moving his hand from out infront of his face"That if you surrender peacefully, there will be no means for casualty." He then proceded to drop the disk that used to be a bullet onto the ground.

PhotonDrop flinched,"So tell me who are you?"

The HUcast adjusted the scabbard at his side and announced,"I am android no. BH-02, built on the Black Paper assembly line, but my formal name is, KireekNEXT."

PhotonDrop paused Kireek? The same android that saved me when I was little?

KireekNEXT turned away,"Like I said before, be warned, Death's Key does not mean your end, just and advancement in technology... Farewell."

He then strolled into the flames, dissapearing from sight.

Clan Item Box stood there, until Camila spat at the ground,"The damn ship has too much technology, any more in weapons would be friggin overkill."

She walked away, holstering her handgun.

Slowly everyone left, save PhotonDrop who didn't move.

How can I be sure this is truth? Death's Key's purpose is unknown and suddenly they want me for something? I don't know what to do...

"PhotonDrop!"

Suddenly the HUnewearl snapped out of her daze,"Coming!"



Edit : Sarunakai pointed out errors, so I corrected them

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-05-22 07:21 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

A few spelling errors here and there, with some mis use of grammar but..

That was one sweet battle http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Though I am saddened that this will be your last chapter for a while, I am quite compensated by the quality of it http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

I look forward to the future of this fiction with much interest. Have a blast during your break! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[PhotonDrop]

Hey all, I'm back from hiatus and have a big chapter for you all, enjoy!
___________________________

Chapter 6: Back up

The Clan Item Box sat around the house doing small things. Camila and Syncesta played a game of darts, Remix Techno and Trimate sat and watched a TV show, Moon Atomizer sat at the dining room table eating a snack, and PhotonDrop layed face down on her bed.

I just dont get it, Death's Key, whether I should trust Kireek, exactly what is in me that is wanted badly... Ohhh, its too much to think about.

For many Beats nothing happened, after waking from a brief nap, PhotonDrop caught a glimpse of someone at her window.

Oh my god, not now!

She picked up her Red Handgun and slowly crept toward the window.

I can't let anybody know about this, my room will be destroyed if a battle starts...

With a speedy movement she threw the window open and aimed her gun up. But heard a click.

"If I was after you, you'd be dead."

PhotonDrop looked to her right and saw a tall man who wore a red robe similar to a FOmar's, in his hand he held a Yasminkov 2000H, aimed right at her head. On his head, he had a black straw hat which was held at the brim by his index finger and thumb, blocking his eyes from being seen.

"Who are you?" She choked out.

"Why Miss! I'm suprised you dont remember me!"

"I certainly wouldnt remember someone I havent met before..."

"Oh, but we have! Do you remember the name 'Flavur'?"

Images of the young boy that she Remix and Techno escorted through the Mines passed by PhotonDrops mind.

"You?! You're him?!"

"Correct ma'am." He smiled, and lifted the brim of his hat, showing his brown eyes. "'cept now people call me Aegis."

"Well, its nice to see you again, Aegis!"

A a strong gust of wind started, PhotonDrop gaurded her eyes from flying debris but noticed how Aegis' robe didn't budge.

"Hey, whats with that?"

"With what?"

"Your robe, it stayed in place?"

"Oh yes, that." Aegis stood up on the angled roof and opened his robe, inside he had black Jeans and a white sweatshirt. but on the robe rested many handguns, every kind from a basic Handgun to the Heavens Punisher, this guy was loaded with weapons.

"Before I forget miss," Aegis said buttoning his robe closed again "I have information on Death's Key for you."

PhotonDrop's eyes lit up "Well why didn't you say so? Come on in!" she then grabbed Aegis by his arm and yanked him in the window.

Landing with a loud thud Aegis warned,"Oww, please dont do that again, I'm too heavy with these guns... and the Shotgun on my back makes me hurt now..."

"Oh, whoops! Sorry!"

Suddenly someone knock on her bedroom door, Techno's voice called out,"Heather? Are you okay in there?"

"Yes Techno, I'm fine. But guess who payed us a visit?" She answered, walking over to the door.

"Who, who is it?"

When PhotonDrop opened the door he saw the very tall man,"Who is that, and why couldn't he use the front door?"

"Techno, you remember Flavur? Well, he's called Aegis now but thats not the point."

"Flavur eh?.. Oh yeah! Your that kid with the Vash obscession!"

Aegis rubbed the back of his neck,"Well uhh, heh, yeah..."

"Well shoot! Come on down stairs, we'll talk down there."

"Okey dokey."

Techno then stepped back and let PhotonDrop through then watched as Aegis ducked to get through the doorway. "Heh, in these 21 years you've grown like a weed huh?"

"Just about!"

The two laughed and proceeded down the stair well and into the den.

------

KireekNEXT sat at a round table, his FOnewm master sat opposite him with the green clad HUnewearl and man other shadowy figures on the sides.

"Sir, Operative Goliath is terminated, and David ran from the battle cowardly. PhotonDrop now has three more friends and each of the seven holds a legendary Ring. I'm not sure if it's safe to continue."

"Boulderdash!" The FOnewm boomed,"We have the forces to take out Pioneer 2's army! Why should seven Hunters pose a threat?"

"With all do respect sir, when they are grouped those Rings boost their abilities. And we dont have anything similar."

"But you forget, we have X, the HUcaseal that defeated PhotonDrop before."

"She's not as powerful without her cloak though!"

"Hold your tongue. You can be replaced."

The HUnewearl stood up,"Just why do we need her again? This concept confuses me, I mean, so what if she has abnormal Photons? What are we using it for?"

The FOnewm leaned foward, into the light, showing he wore his hair in a bandana with glasses with a yellow and black suit,"Iko, for the last time, with her Photonic energy, we can re-open the Ruins and revive the D-Cell monsters, which we will then unleash on Pioneer 2 and bring this ship of hell down. Now pipe down before I have you punished, I dont need to keep telling you that failures dont talk to me."

Iko just got up from her seat and said,"Yes sir..."
She then walked down a hallway, covering her face with her hands. After turning down a few corridors she collapsed under the dim light.

For nineteen years, nineteen years I've taken abuse from this jackass, I cant take it anymore.

A small cleaning droid wheeled by and came back, moving its camera toward Iko's face. It beeped twice and was smashed into pieces by Iko's gloved hand.

She bared her teeth in hatred.

I'm going to stop his plan, his suffering will be my salvation.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-06-03 15:12 ]</font>

[Robo47]

Cool! I like where this is going!

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 7: And then, another...

Trimate rubbed Buzzkill's hilt like a mad scientist pets a cat. "They're going to re-open the Ruins? That doesnt sound that bad!"

Camila took a sip from her coffee and added in "Yeah, the Ruins creatures never stopped spawning, I'm sure it could help the Hunters get back to their old roots."

"But you must also consider this," Aegis said losing his normal tone "To re-open the Ruins, requires Miss PhotonDrop's energy to be drained right from her body, it could kill her."

"But Buzzkill wants to splatter purple monster blood!"

"Trimate, do you forget? Newmans just can't be re-activated like androids after they die!"

"What about cloning?"

"We could clone her, but she wouldnt be the same..."

"Er, then how about you guys cast Resta on her when the energy is drained?"

"No, Resta would restore everything, and even encourage Death's Key to take more."

PhotonDrop then shot up out of her seat,"Trimate! How could you even think of leaving me with those bastards!? This isn't a game!" She then stormed up to her room.

------

Two hours later, the house was quiet as usual. Everyone doing there own buisness, but the clock rung to show the arrival of another hour. And a knock on the door followed.

Remix walked over and opened the door. Before him stood an average sized man in a black RAmar outfit, atop his head rested a black top hat and in his hand was a black walking cane.He bowed and said,"Hello, may I request a talk with the Lady of the house?"

"No, sorry, Miss PhotonDrop cant get visitors anymore."

"Oh? Why was the man in red let in so graciously?

"Correction, she cant get visitors anymore, unless she knows them personally."

"Sir, this is an insult to me and my organization, by the honorable name of Death's Key, I, Gentle Xavier, calls a duel! Who of you shall accept this call?"

Camila walked up and moved Remix aside,"I will, I could use a laugh."

"Sorry, ma'am. I can't fight ladies, its against my upbringing."

"Thats okay, lets go."

"Camila, let me fight, he can't fight you, and this looks too dangerous." Syncesta said putting down his drink.

"Splendid, thank you for honoring my request, Sir..?"

"Syncesta, but you mat call me Sikes Myers."

"Well then, thank you Sir Myers. I shall meet you right out here at 7:00 sharp." With that said Gentle Xavier grinned and walked away.

When he passed by the garage door, KireekNEXT confronted him,"The Boss always told me your methods were strange, I never knew they were this strange..."

"A Gentlemen always handles things professionally."

"...Heh, you are a RAmar I like."

------

BONNG! BONNG!

"Seven o'clock, time for my duel, I'll be right back every body." Syncesta opened the dorr and marched into the road, where Xavier stood waiting.

"Hello there, you're on time, I like that."

"Yeah yeah, now whats next?"

"You must pick our weapons."

"How do guns sound?"

"Ooooh, I'm sorry, I dont carry any guns, lets go with blades."

"What kind of RAmar doesnt... Alright then, blades it is, but may I have the time to put away my Wals?"

"You most certainly may. I'll wait here."

Syncesta then ran back into the house. "Great, he wants a swords fight." he said as he leaned his Wals against the stairways railing. "I just dont have any bladed weapons, well, except a Bayonette, but thats also a gun."

Aegis knelt down and lifted his robe up by the ankle, from a small sheath he pulled a 6 inch non-Photon dagger. "Here Syncesta, use this."

"Thanks Aegis."

"And dont worry about returning it, I have another."

"Okay, I'll be back everyone."

He returned to the street, the simulated sun light turned orangy, to show it was almost night time.

"Okay Xavier, I have my weapon." Syncesta called.

"Well then" Xavier answered, twirling his cane around,"Shall we begin?" from the tip of the cane, a non photon blade sprung out.

[Sagasu]

So, this means that I will get a very nice battle scene to read? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Nice, hopefully the next chapter wont be too long in coming.

[PhotonDrop]

Meh, Syncesta's creator gave the idea for this chapter, I hope you like her idea as much as i did.
____________________________
Chapter 8: Being a Gentleman

Gentle Xavier bowed at Syncesta, with great speed, he charged. Syncesta sidestepped a vertical swing and threw his own attack. Gentle Xavier's top hat was knocked to the ground and he laughed,"You'll have to try harder than that, sir!" He then smashed his knee in Syncesta's chest and punched him in the forehead. "Please, dont disgrace me by not fighting skillfully!"

Syncesta climbed to his feet and dropped the knife he held,"I take it you're done with the duel." Syncesta then punched Xavier in the chest, followed by a right hook to the jaw. Xavier stepped back and moved his jaw around,"Heh, very good, you are skilled afterall!" He then gripped his cane firmly by the handle and shaft. With a twist, the shaft came off, revealing that the small blade was part of a Bastard Sword. Xavier laughed,"I suggest you pick your knife back up sir.

---

Camila and Moon Atomizer watched from the window. They saw Xavier's cane turn into a Sword and flipped out, "What the hell! That idiot is no gentleman!"

"How would Aegis's blade be able to fight against that sword?"

"Its okay Moon, I'm sure Syncesta knows what to do."

---

Syncesta reached for the Derrenger on his side, but stopped to dodge an attack. Xavier then begun a combo for an old sword fighting style.

Okay, I gotta read his movements...
Xavier stabbed diagnolly. Syncesta stepped back, dodging it.
First one handed thrust...
He then switched hands and swung straight up. Syncesta sidestepped.
Next, Heavens Elevator, the rising slash...
with one final movement he swung horizontally. Ducking, Syncesta dodged it.
And the finiser, Loggers Chop.
Xavier put the sword behind his back and laughed.
Syncesta charged and threw a punch, but his attack was dodged and the Sword was stabbed into his shoulder.

"GRRAAAH!!" The sword ripped through and Syncesta fell to the ground, blood spilled through the wound.

"Heh, you read my moves well, until I used the backwards wheel. I'm suprised you knew that combo, its style is very old."

"Hold it right there, you bastard!" Camila's enraged voice roared.

Xavier turned to face the RAmarl, who held her Desert Eagle aimed at him. "Now now, Miss. Your friend and I were just enjoying a friendly match, there's no need to do that."

"No, you're no gentleman, you're just an Assasin, I know who you are."

Xavier was suprised even more, some girl he never met knows him?

"You're an ex Black Paper assassin, one who trained in the Satsujin-ken on Coral. You're responsible for my fathers death, you jackass."

Syncesta slowly sat up, he crawled for the knife while Xavier was distracted. He held it in his hand and smiled.

Xavier turned to see Syncesta has fled,"Sorry Miss, but I have a duel to finish."

In a matter of seconds, Xavier charged, Syncesta turned and threw the knife.

The RAmar in black stopped, he looked at the blade which embedded itself in his shin.

"Heh, good job, but I must leave you know."

"Oh no you dont! You owe me bitch!"

Camila fired her gun, the bullet soon rested in a mailbox, for Xavier had left in a flash of Ryuker.

"Wha- that bastard!"

---

Xavier limped down Death's Key's base's dim hallway. At a corner he was met by a FOmarl in dark blue clothing.

"You've failed Xavier."

"Oh, hi Capri, I just need one more chance, my Gentleman act was so close to fooling them. If that girl didn't interupt, PhotonDrop would be with us."

"Boss says you're fired."

"Huh, ah wha?"

"And this, is the end of your life."
She held a katana above her head and brought it down, Xaviers scream was cut short.

---

Syncesta sat on the couch, his neck brace rested on he coffee table, Moon Atomizer slowly pulled the sleeve off of his wounded arm.

"GAH!"

"Its okay, just let me touch it, the pain will stop, I promise."

"Nononononononono, thats okay, I'll just let it heal naturally!"

"Oh stop you big baby!" With a quick motion, Moon Atomizer grabbed Syncesta's shoulder and casted Resta. "Is that better?"

PhotonDrop emerged from her room, she yawned and asked,"Hey guys, whats going on?"

"Damn Item Girl! You sure are tired for a person who just slept for twenty one years!"

"Well, Ms.PhotonDrop, another Death's Key thug came after you today. Syncesta fought him off bravely."

"But you forget, Remix, I was the one who scared him away."

PhotonDrop smiled,"Well, thanks both of you."

"It was no problem ma'am! I'll protect you any time anywhere!"

Moon Atomizer hit Syncesta on the back of his head."Stop flirting with other women, okay?"

"I'm sorry..."

Everyone then laughed at the poor RAmar.

Man, first the two RAcasts, now another one comes, who's next?

[Robo47]

ohhkayy, that was interesting, but I cant help but feel that was like Rurouni Kenshin; the fight with the Kurogasa...


Good job either way!

[PhotonDrop]

New chapter, credits first real quickly.
The character Fast Hands Harrison and Mike appear thanks to Robo 47, and ZeroXero appears thanks to RyuTatsu.

enjoy!

---

Chapter 9: Twisted Minds

Iko sat in her dark room. She was packing things away, sweating profusely and wearing a maniacal grin, she spoke to herself.

"Yes, kill the girl, he suffers. It all is so clear now! Kill the girl, he suffers!"

She began shoving weapons in her storage unit, laughing like a lunatic.

"Kill the girl, he suffers!!"

---

Capri stood above Xavier's headless body, she licked the blood off of her katana and smirked.

Strange, I would have expected better from him.

"Well, he wasn't that useful anyway."

Capri turned to see Kireek leaning against the wall.

"How long have you been there?" She asked sarcastically.

"Irrelevant, I've come here because the Boss says you're up now."

"Well, 'twas expected, having three idiots fighting it was bound to come to me."

"And more."

"WHAT?!"

"The Boss is getting desperate, he's sending everyone below the Elite Three."

"Damn! He knows I can't work with others!"

"Tough luck then." Kireek then walked away fading into the shadows. He then continued,"He also says, when David returns, terminate him."

---

All was quiet, the blanket of night had settled and things simmered down.

Suddenly, PhotonDrop shot out of her sleep. She was awakened by a noise on the roof. Slowly she climbed out of bed, discarding her night gown she quickly put on her Hunters garb. Opening the door, she saw Techno sleeping while leaning on the wall opposite her door.

Eh? Thats odd.

Reaching on her night stand, she grabbed her Neis Claw and made her way down stairs. Looking around, she saw Aegis with one of his Guns in hand sleeping on the couch, Camila in a wooden chair by the back door and Trimate standing battle ready with a Flight Cutter in hand, but shut down by the front door.

Whats with the tight security?

The serenity was then broken by a thump coming from the basement. Cautiously she approached the door, upon opening Syncesta fell out. PhotonDrop almost screamed but stopped upon recognizing the RAmar.

Okay, I'm scared now.

With another loud bang, everyone sprung out of their sleep.

Panicing, PhotonDrop asked,"Whats going on?!"

Techno, with Remix in tow, came down and filled her in,"Deaths Key sent a warning BEE. Their full force is coming, so we had to kick up security here."

"Where's Moon Atomizer?"

"She was in your room, by the window. You didn't see her?"

"No!"

Camila's voice pierced the air as she sprinted out the front door, shoving Trimate out of the way. "Duck!!"

Without thinking, everyone knelt down just before something bolted right through the house, tearing a hole in it.

When she stood back up PhotonDrop looked through the hole and saw a Dark Belra walking toward the house.

"What the hell? I thought the Ruins were sealed off!!"

"They are, that is a clone created using Compressed Artificial Reality Data, or CARD for short."

"Cards? Eh?"

Soon another Belra Arm shot past.

Moon Atomizer ran down stairs and out the door, soon everybody followed her and Camila.

The seven Hunters surrounded PhotonDrop protectively., with their weapons in hand.

"Aww, was it too early for the wake up call? I'm so sorry!" An arrogant HUmar taunted flipping a deck of cards in his hands.

"Who the hell are you?" Camila questioned.

The HUmar grinned and replied,"Me? Why, I'm Fast Hands Harrison! And these are my counterparts."

A FOmarl in dark blue dress stepped foward, she gripped the hilt of a katana firmly.

"This is Capri, Agito 1977 model wielding FOmarl of DOOM!"

Next to the FOmarl, a RAcaseal came up, she held a Shot in her hands, and had a pink and black coloring with the basic #2 style RAcaseal head.

"This is ZeroXero, a Shot weilding RAcaseal of DOOM!"

Behind Harrison, a HUcast of many colors filed up.

"This is Mike, the Chameleon Scythe weilding HUcast of D-"

"Don't say it."

"pain and suffering?"

"Oh, nevermind."

Several other Hunters lined up aswell, a RAmar, a RAcast, a HUmar, a FOnewm, and a RAmarl.

"And these are Bob the Fraginator, .SYS, Farse, Dart, and Quick Draw Milly. And we are Death's Key, we're here after that girl." Harrison then pointed at PhotonDrop and smiled.

Techno tensed up,"There's too many here! I'm gonna protect PD at all costs..." In a matter of seconds, he turned around, set a Telepipe and threw PhotonDrop in it.

The HUnewearl let out a scream as she was taken from her friends.

[PhotonDrop]

WTF?? No comments on ch9? Shame on you all!

And sorry, but this chapter has a shameful plug for my next fic, but it's only brief!

One more thing, its bloody long compared to my others.

Enjoy!

---

Chapter 10: Attack of the Clone

The image of her friends passed quickly, being replaced by fleeting purple lights. Which in turn were replaced by the night sky and the feel of soft sand underneath her.

PhotonDrop didn't get up, she stayed in place and said to herself,"Why Techno? Why did you do that?"

She then looked to the side and noticed the familiar rock formations and waterfalls.

"Ah, Seaside Area, always my favorite spot..."

The HUnewearl sat up and saw a figure out in the water. It was another HUnewearl, she wore a light green HUnewearl uniform with dark green hair, she was looking off into the ocean.

"Hello there! Isn't the water cold?" PhotonDrop called out.

"No, not compared to the life I've lived." the new HUnewearl responded.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that."

The HUnewearl turned to face PhotonDrop, she snarled "Yes you should be. It's YOUR fault I've been abused!"

"What?! I don't even know you!"

"Oh yes you do! For I am you! I'm a 'failure' clone of you that my bitchy master created nineteen years ago!"

PhotonDrop got up and stepped backwards,"Well, when you go back..." she pointed her Neis Claw at the HUnewearl and continued,"Tell your master that he'll never get a chance to use my energy!"

The HUnewearl smiled mischieviously,"Oh, of course he won't." She then activated a photon katana she had been holding,"Because I'm going to kill you."

The HUnewearl began running towards PhotonDrop with her katana held at her side. She skid to a stop and swung her blade, which was caught by Neis Claw.

"Please! You don't have to do this!"

"Oh yes I do! If you die..." he HUnewearl took another swing, which was also deflected."He will never be able to realise his dream! All the time and money invested on catching you will be for nothing!"

"I'm telling you now, whoever you are, there is an alternative to this!.. Like what if you helped me and my friends kill him instead?"

PhotonDrop struck the Musashi out of the HUnewearls hand and stopped fighting. "Please."

"No, this method is much simpler. and my name fyi is Iko." she said.

"Well Iko, you obviously don't know that Death's Key will be stopped soon!"

Iko reached for her side and snapped a whip out,"Of course I knew! Because you are going to die!"

"Wait!" PhotonDrop held her arm up just in time to prevent the whip from hitting her face. Iko then pulled on the rope and brought her fist into PhotonDrop's face.

She let out a scream of pain and fell to the ground.

Iko moved her whip and made it wrap around PhotonDrop's neck. She placed a foot on her back and pulled up on the whip.

PhotonDrop tried to scream but the whip made it hard to breath.

"Yes, feel the pain, just like I had to growing up!"

PhotonDrop's vision faded, but with a quick movement she cut the rope with the blade of her claw.

Iko cursed PD's name and removed a sword from her back.

"So you won't die peacefully eh?" The Sword humed to life lighting the nearby area with its green glow.

PhotonDrop gasped for air and rolled out of the way of the Sword plunging downward. "No... I... won't die... not today..." She slowly stood up and casted Resta.

"You idiot girl..." Iko said plainly,"You can't realise that you will die tonight no matter what?"

"Don't be so delusional."

"What?! You bi-" Iko's words were cut short by the dull side of PD's Neis Claw being shoved in her gut.

Iko rolled on the floor in pain as PhotonDrop stood over her.

"Please, stay down. I don't want to hurt you."

Before she could think, Iko grabbed her leg andyanked it out from under her. Iko then took PhotonDrop's red hair and pulled as hard as she could, following up by grabbing her belt and tossing the HUnewearl into the water. PhotonDrop tried standing up but Iko had ran up and shoved her face back under water.

"Give up already!" Iko said, as if she had won.

PhotonDrop's Rati responded by ramming into Iko's chest, though a futile attempt, it distracted Iko enough for PhotonDrop to retaliate. Se flipped hr assailant over and before thinking, fired her Red Handgun.

Blood poured from Iko's wound, one not to far from her left lung.

"Heather... I'm sorry... too late I realise that you were right..."

"Oh no, I screwed up, I didn't want to kill her!Hold on Iko! Rati! Help me get her out of her before the Dolmolms get the scent of her blood!"

The red Rati chirped in response, then it dropped a telepipe for the two HUnewearls.

---

"Stop playing games!" Techno roared as his axe went through Harrison's deck of cards. "Your partners have been subdued, just give up!"

"Alright, you win! Don't kill me!" Harrison pleaded.

"You run back home and tell your boss that I won't stand for this much longer, stop. hunting. Miss. Photon. Drop. Got that?"

"Y-y-y-y-essir!" Harrison said disappearing in a flash of Ryuker.

Remix approached and threw Mike and .SYS's de-activated shells to the ground,"Let's go call the Military Police and call it a night."

"Agreed."

The rest of the group rounded up the other Death's Key minions and conversed while waiting for the Police.

Moon Atomizer quinted her vision and looked around the dark street. "Where's PD?"

"I sent her to Seaside."

"WHAT?!"

"I was just protecting her..."

"Techno, I know you like her but she is a Hunter, you didn't have to do that!" Camila shouted, but without her usual angry tone.

"It was too risky. I had to..."

"It doesn't matter now." Syncesta said "All that does matter is going down and telling her that its safe to return."

"Agreed."

Aegis then turned and walked away.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Well, not much of Death's Key is left, I'm sure you guys can handle the remaining four. Well, it's been a lot of fun, but so long!"

Everyone then said their goodbyes to the FORAmar.

Soon the sounds of sirens began, paddy wagons pulled up and several officers climbed out.

---

As Aegis walked away he reminisced about the trip he had in the Mines with PhotonDrop Techno and Remix and how he gave one of his cherished guns to them.

"Say, I wonder what they did with it?"

An image soon passed his head of the recent battle and how Techno shot one of Harrison's cards with it.

"Oh, almost forgot that."

Beneath the street light a HUmar confronted him.

"So this is where you have been, eh Aegis?"

"Akira, must you always start these fights?"

Akira wore blue HUmar armor, he had deep blue eyes and short red hair. Across his back rested a Dragon Slayer and his sides held holsters for his Vulcans.

"Yes."

Aegis shrugged his shoulders and sighed,"Maybe some other time?"

"You have until we reach R-Base to rest. There, we will fight."

"Okay, okay."

The two rivals began walking down the road on opposite sides.

[Sagasu]

"This is Capri, Agito 1977 model wielding FOmarl of DOOM!"

I love this line http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Quite a bit of action.. Well written, and quite enjoyable. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

One thing though, I have to have a word with you about broadswords. A cane, one for walking, presumable, will need at least a circumference of 4 1/2 inches to be able to act as a bastard swords scabbard. A rapier is better suited for Xavier's cane, unless he's lugging around a small pole all the time http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

If you wish to have a larger sword, stick with either a long or broadsword. Broad has about a 3 to 3 1/2 inch width, and a better height for leaning upon. Long, perhaps 1 1/2 inch, maybe less.

Also, the broad/bastard swords are of a peculiar design. They are better used with two hands, for better controlability and all, but are also capable of being effectively used as a single handed weapon. But they are by no means a light weapon that one han use for fencing tactics. Large swords where used in olden days to sever the armor of other knights, not be swung as swiftly as something like a katana or scimitar.

Umm.. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

Sorry about that, its just something you may want to know for future reference. But all in all, astounding work! Sorry for taking so long to reply though http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

Keep. going. Theres no question about the quality of your fiction. Now let us work on adding coherent sections and perhaps some less exagerated emotions.

Looking forward to Chapter 11! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sarunakai on 2004-06-22 19:23 ]</font>

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-06-22 19:22, Sarunakai wrote:

"This is Capri, Agito 1977 model wielding FOmarl of DOOM!"

I love this line http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Quite a bit of action.. Well written, and quite enjoyable. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

One thing though, I have to have a word with you about broadswords. A cane, one for walking, presumable, will need at least a circumference of 4 1/2 inches to be able to act as a bastard swords scabbard. A rapier is better suited for Xavier's cane, unless he's lugging around a small pole all the time http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

If you wish to have a larger sword, stick with either a long or broadsword. Broad has about a 3 to 3 1/2 inch width, and a better height for leaning upon. Long, perhaps 1 1/2 inch, maybe less.

Also, the broad/bastard swords are of a peculiar design. They are better used with two hands, for better controlability and all, but are also capable of being effectively used as a single handed weapon. But they are by no means a light weapon that one han use for fencing tactics. Large swords where used in olden days to sever the armor of other knights, not be swung as swiftly as something like a katana or scimitar.

Umm.. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

Sorry about that, its just something you may want to know for future reference. But all in all, astounding work! Sorry for taking so long to reply though http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

Keep. going. Theres no question about the quality of your fiction. Now let us work on adding coherent sections and perhaps some less exagerated emotions.

Looking forward to Chapter 11! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sarunakai on 2004-06-22 19:23 ]</font>


Like I said, Syncesta's creator made that part, he wouldn't believe me when I told him that, he insisted that some picture from Swordsonline.com was THE bastard sword, I'll pull up a link if you want me to...

But I'm glad you liked it! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Sagasu]

Hmm..

Even though it is not your character, it is your fiction. Up to you, whatever happens. But since it is you that posted it here, the incoherency of the whole cane/sword ordeal falls upon your head.

But since I have been known to be a hypocrytical bastard at times, you can totally ignore what I just said http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Its quite a worthwile piece of liturature. what reason do I have not to like it?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sarunakai on 2004-06-22 19:58 ]</font>

[PhotonDrop]

I never said you wouldn't...

[Arislan]

Well, since part 1 is buried in the mists of the site, and I'm not sure on the policy of bumping old fics for review, I'll simply review both in here. Do note, I give short shrift to the grading scale where 7-8 is an "average grade", when mathematically, 5 would be. And it gets exponentially tougher to get a better score as the score goes higher, and the like, so... Even if you think something may be low, it's probably not.

Part 1
Plot 7.5/10
The overall plotline was very well presented over all. The presentation and integration of the characters into the group were done very Well, since part 1 is buried in the mists of the site, and I'm not sure on the policy of bumping old fics for review, I'll simply review both in here. Do note, I give short shrift to the grading scale where 7-8 is an "average grade", when mathematically, 5 would be. And it gets exponentially tougher to get a better score as the score goes higher, and the like, so... Even if you think something may be low, it's probably not.

Part 1
Plot 7.5/10
The overall plotline was very well presented over all. The presentation and integration of the characters into the group were done very well. The overall plot is also done well, bringing the reader through the different scenes and snippits that are pertinent to the story.

Criticisms are:
- Remix's flashback seemed a sudden interruption on the story. Having Remix talk about his experiences, and/or PhotonDrop looking at Montague's BEE logs of Remix to see the supposed lack of error messages could be a more natural way of beginning the flashback.

Characterization 8.5/10
Very well done here, the character's come out kicking, and are personalities in their own rights. Each character has a distinct personality and each brings something to the storyline that makes them all interesting.

Criticisms are:
- Characters have very little backstory. Things that flesh out a character could be added, such as a line or two from Techno explaining why he became a mechanic, or a little flashback of Camila in the Academy, acting out for some reason (helping show her impulsive nature)

Flow 5/10
This area is where your largest improvement lies. As stated by others, the flow changes from frenetic to slow and stately at the drop of a hat. Rereading a given chapter and trying to image time flow within it is a good way to discover if something is jumping. The only time flow should "speed up" is when something action oriented occurs, and "slow down" when something dramatic occurs. Take a look at Shakespeare's works and the death scenes of many characters for examples of the latter.

Conversation 6.5/10
Mostly fixed by the end of Part 1, some of the lines thrown between characters seemed forced. This is linked to the idea of flow, as oftentimes, character conversation is also broken up by character movement. When looking at writing a conversation in a story, think of a conversation you would have amongst friends as a guide. Arms moving in gestures, people walking off to get drinks, laughter, facial changes. Including detais such as these may help to improve scene imaging and reduce story "chop".

Part 2
Plot 8/10
It seems as if your methods have been much refined since your last writings. This plot is much more complex and full than the previous, and the characters, again, flow well into the story.

Criticisms are:
- No backstory for Deaths Key. They just appear with their malevolent schemes and begin the havoc. It may be a bit more flowing if something was inserted regarding their origins, like the leader doing a classic "It has been 21 years since blah blah happened, and now, tonight, I get my revenge!" may help to define this organization within the scope of your fiction.

Characterization 8.5/10
Not much has changed here, still superb overall. No comments or criticisms that would be readily helpful or damning.

Flow 6/10
Still quite choppy at times, but perfectly followable. See if the advice listed above doesn't help, although as it is, simply more writing has honed your talents as well, so more practice may simply be all that is really needed.

Conversation 7.5/10
Much improved from before. Main thing to improve is wording. There are a few instances where a character sounds a bit odd, and the sentence seems chopped. Try rereading through the fic with a blank mind, as a reader would, and do your best to image the situation and these minor corrections will come to light more easily.

[PhotonDrop]

newer chapters coming soon, sorry about that but i've had a terribly bad case of writers block with this story.

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 11: New Allies, New Battles

A Shopping Mall was rather busy, PD and Remix carried bags with them while being persued by a FOnewearl who wore white and red.

"BIG SISTER! WAIT UP!!"

"RUN FASTER REMIX, DONT LET HER CATCH US!"

"BIG SISTER!?"

PD turned a corner in an attempt to lose her sibling but smashed right into a dark red HUcast. Clothes and accesories flew everywhere, PD emerged from the pile and apologised quickly. Before she realised anything the FOnewearl had caught up and pounced upon her sister.

She smiled sweetly and said "Big Sister! i missed you!"

"Hi Quinn..." PD said as she gathered her scattered stuff.

"Nissy! this is my Big Sister!"

The HUcast looked down at the HUnewearl and his eyes glowed brightly. "Quinn tells me you know Kireek?"

"Yes, he saved me when i was a kid and now he's in a team that wants my head, why do you ask?"

Nisshoku didnt say anything he just ran a finger along the side of a Bloody Art, then walked away muttering something of old wounds.

Quinn smiled and announced,"Nissy never talks much. So how have you been all these years?"

"I had been in suspended animation..."

"Oh, that must suck... well, I, personally have been great, i mean look at me! I've grown up!"

PhotonDrop smiled and finished gathering her items.

"Well, now that i have introduced you to Nissy I'll go tell Remix where you are. I'll be right back."

"okay"

------

"The plan is to be put into motion... send out the 'invitations'."

"Yessir."

Kireek, a RAcaseal, a FOmar, and the nameless evil FOnewm leader of Death's Key stood around the usual table.

"BH-02, Swift, and Negal, you remember your roles, right?"

All three answered in unison.

Swift stretched her arms, revealing that her right arm was equipped with a snake like attachment.

"So Master, when does the fun begin?"

"Tomorrow..."

Suddenly the FOnewm slumped over, Negal rushed up and lifted him up,"You okay Master?"

Despite sweating profusely the FOnewm said he was okay.

Kireek Swift and Negal walked into the shadows and conversed.

"Master hasn't been looking so good..."

"I've noticed, i fear for him."

"He must get rest, this hunt has probably been taxing for him."

------

David the RAcast had returned to the base, he looked around and wondered why it was so quiet. When suddenly Swift dropped from the rafters. The RAcaseals all yellow colors shone brightly.

"Why, hello Swift! Where is everyone?"

"You've been terminated."

"...huh?!"

Rapidly, Swift raised her snake arm and it launched at David, then snapped its Jaws shut on the RAcast.

"Now that thats off my list i hafta get ready for tomorrow."



(Sorry, i couldnt leave David running around my fic like that)

[Sayara]

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

Hey! I just like, caught up and read the entire thing so far.. And i like it.

And Quinn makes me happy... NISSY! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
Keep at it Photo Dee!

[Sagasu]

Woah, that was a long delay.

An interesting addition to the story.. but it really doesn't get us anywhere. Do you expect the move the plot along some in chapter 12? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

[PhotonDrop]

Tingle: Thank you!


Saru: you have no clue what i set up here =3

[Kuea]

yay

your writers block is gone ^_^

I dunno if I will post my ficcie v_v

I still wanna read yours though ^_^

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 12: A Gala Event

"Im going! Its not often I get to see family!" PhotonDrop said, she was rather huffy that Techno was keeping her away from a party.

"PD, you must reconsider, if i recall Death's Key is still around. And its obviously the most powerful members aswell..." Techno pleaded.

Camila emerged from the upstairs wearing a black dress that sparkled in the light, her hair was let down and featured a silver Tiara with a blue jewel on the point,"Are we all ready to go?"

Techno looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his head,"Well... no not yet... lemme go change first."

With that he slinked upstairs to his room.

PhotonDrop smiled,"Thanks Camila, Techno is such a hard-head."

"Yeah, he is... But hey! you better go get ready! Times wasting!"

PhotonDrop smiled and ran to her room.

---

An hour passed, Item Box had dressed up and went to their respective vehicles.

Techno, PhotonDrop, and Remix were in one hover car. Techno wore standard black HUmar armor with a skinny black tie and his hair had been shifted to where he had just one ponytail off the back of his head. Remix featured white suit cuffs on his wrists and a bow tie around his neck. And PhotonDrop wore a red dress that cut off diagonally at the knees and wore bright red lipstick and golden earrings.

In the other car was Camila Trimate Syncesta and Moon Atomizer. Trimate wore nothing but a black Pork-pie hat and a cumberbund, he looked rediculous but nobody was complaining. Syncesta wore black suit pants and a white suit shirt. Moon Atomizer wore a black skirt, and a white dress shirt with her hair in pigtails.

It wasnt long until they reached their destination. A large mansion in the middle of Pioneer 2. The sounds of Pianists and Violinists practicing their craft could be heard as the group filed out of their vehicles.

Camila laughed,"What? No Valee parking?"

PhotonDrop dusted her dress off and everyone began heading toward the Mansion. Inside the lights were dimmed a little and a bunch of important people walked around, the air was filled with classical music and chit chat. The crystal chandeliers and almond walls with black and white tile floors shone brightly.

"I wonder where father is?" PhotonDrop said as she looked around curiously.

"Hey look! Punch!" Syncesta pointed out as he walked toward the orderves table with Moon Atomizer in tow.

Camila adjusted her purse and said,"I dunno Item Girl, theres something odd about this place."

"WHY IS TRIMATE BLIND?" the short HUcast screamed.

Techno and PhotonDrop stared at Trimate with a look of shock on their faces.

Suddenly the music faded and the people flickered out of sight.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Holograms! I knew it was a trap!"

With quick reactions everyone pressed a button on their wristbands, causing their Hunter garb and equipment to materialize. They stood ready as the eerie silence took control of the atmosphere, turning it from a calm relaxing one to a unnerving one.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PhotonDrop on 2004-09-08 05:53 ]</font>

[Sayara]

Looks to me our heros are in for a Dismayal Dinner Banquet.. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

I want Mooooorrree!

[EJ]

you sure know how keep someone in suspense. Give me more!!! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

[Kuea]

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

I liked what trimate said and the suspense is really good

I can't wait to see more PD

I seen one or two typos so I shall try to fiind them again

[PhotonDrop]

WARNING! this chapter is longer than the others and is a bit busy...

enjoy anyways! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Chapter 13: Waltz with The Reaper

"Ms.PhotonDrop, I can't hear anything." Remix said as he scanned the upper levels of the building.

"Trimate can't hear things too, also."

Camila turned toward the HUcast and said,"It would be a great help to us all if you turned off that damn Chainsaw!"

"Trimate is sorry, so is Buzzkill."

The moment 'Buzzkill' was shut off the sounds of metal tapping against ceramics was heard. It was an androids footsteps.

"Over there!" Syncesta pointed out, down the hall a RAcaseal with yellow colorings was approaching.

The slow monotonous tapping seemed to drone for hours. But then it picked up, becoming more frequent.

The RAcaseal was charging them.

Remix walked into her path and readied his Stag Cutlery.

"Run." he commanded. And the rest of the group split up.

------

Syncesta, Moon Atomizer and Trimate went down a corridor, where they ran into a FOmar in a flowing tan robe with blue accents along the sides.

Moon let out a yelp as Syncesta and Trimate nearly skid to stop.

"Hello kids, Im Negal. the third Death's Key elite." the man said as he tensed his hands and created red and blue auras around hisself.

Moon gasped and said,"Thats Shifta and Deband!" quickly she lifted her Twin Chakrams and cast the same techniques on her comrades.

The four were in a stand off.

------

Techno held a firm grip on PhotonDrops wrist as they and Camila ran down a hall way.

"Techno! Let go!"

"See? I knew this was gonna happen! Nobody ever beleives the HUmar!"

"Lets say 'I told you so' later!"

The three entered a small round room. There were roman-esque statues forming a circle around a purple carpet.

"Welcome." a familiar voice said.

From behind the farthest statue Kireek emerged.

For the first time in her life Camila was visibly scared. Damn, why'd it have to be him?! My most powerful gun couldn't scratch him before... ohh, what do i do?

"So Heather, have you reconsidered my proposal? The one where you surrender and your friends don't die?"

PhotonDrop looked at her Red Ring and thought of her cousin Rico, who had taught her that giving up was never acceptable, "No, Kireek, I'm not giving up."

"What a shame, and your friends there look rather healthy too." Kireek drew his Yamigarasu and pointed it at Techno's throat.

Despite the distance he could feel the cold steel tickling his Adam's Apple, he gulped in fear.

------

Remix swung his weapon at the RAcaseal, who backflipped out of the way and leapt high into the air and shot an extendable snake like arm at him. The snake bit onto Remix's free hand, but unlike what the arm did to David, it seemed to be unable to clamp onto Remix's wrist.

My Ring! I forgot about these... What was is that Ms.PhotonDrop said... 'when all seven are gathered the users are gifted with greater abilities?' yeah. Thats it. But now since I'm alone, its good these Rings were made of superior metal.

Swift drew closer to Remix, she held in one hand a Raygun and it was aimed at his head. Thinking quickly Remix grabbed a Damage Trap from his side at threw it at the RAcaseal. The trap latched onto Swift's chest and a timer started. The Snake arm retracted as Remix swung Swift to the side.

"One day, RAcast, we'll finish this." She rebounded off the wall and disappeared in the Traps explosion.

Remix stared at the brown smog that slowly billowed to the ground, he then heard Moon Atomizer scream, so he ran to investigate.

------

Negal wore God Hand gloves and held Moon Atomizer by the neck and pinned her to the wall. Trimate was glued to the wall by a powerful adhesive, also known as, him being impaled by his own 'Buzzkill'

"GET ME DOWN!!" He still screamed.

Syncesta was suffering a seizure, trails of Razonde's electrical force still loomed around him.

Negal brought a fist back and smiled evily at Moon Atomizer "Nighty night little FO." And he threw his punch.

Moon screamed, but the fist never made contact with her.

Negal looked to see his arm was being held back by another's. He turned around and was met by Remix's metallic fist, the steel knuckles busted open Negal's lip despite the Deband, and the FOmar let go of Moon and slumped to the ground.

"Thank you Remix." Moon said as she gasped for air.

"No problem."

The two then went to help their fallen comrades.

A quick cast of Anti and Syncesta's seizure ended. A quick tug and Buzzkill was removed from Trimates abdomen.

In Trimate's celebration he hugged Buzzkill and said,"Its okay, Trimate and Buzzkill can still be friends!"

Soon PhotonDrop's scream rang through the mansion, Remix Syncesta Moon Atomizer and Trimate got up and ran toward where the scream came from.

------

Kireek lunged across the room and instead of cutting Techno, just knocked him out. He then turned to Camila and received a round of bullets to the side of his head. Thankfully for her they did damage.

"Now now, its not safe to play with guns."

Kireek held a hand over Camila's mouth and put her to sleep, she fell to the floor silently.

"See Heather? It's pointless to-..!" His words were cut short as Nisshoku tackled him.

The two droids got up and swung their blades at eachother. Nisshoku attacked with one dagger and parried with the other, while Kireek stayed on the offensive. But swiftly, a Bloody Art got through Kireek's attack and nearly severed an arm.

As PhotonDrop watched the two HUcasts duel she felt a cold hand reach for her, and before she thought about it, Swift had grabbed onto her and dragged her up toward the ceiling.

[Sagasu]

Something unexpected at the end of each chapter..

The story is continuing well, and you are getting better. I believe I'll wait till the end to drop an editorial.

[Sayara]

Hah Hah Looks like PD's gonna hang around for a while?

Maybe the ending will sweep her off the ground? XD

ANYWAY! I still like what i see. Very Quick Quick Actiony though.

[Kuea]

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

I love your ficcie PD

I like the part with Remix fighting

and I never expected nisshoku to come into it right there that was cool n.n

[Nisshoku]

What can I say, PD? Nisshoku coming at the nick of time, and ready to cut Kireek a new output port is awesome.

That, and it shows that not even a Yamigarasu can save you from my Bloody Art. >:D

[PhotonDrop]

Chapter 14: Downfall of Death's Key

Remix, Syncesta, Moon Atomizer and Trimate ran as fast as they could. They ended up in the small circular room with statues, they saw Camila and Techno passed out on the floor and Kireek and Nisshoku slamming eachother into the walls.

"Trimate wants to fight!"

The small HUcasts cry interupted the other two's fight, Nisshoku turned to see who said that as Kireek dropped a Confuse Trap and disappeared.

Everyone, even the androids soon had trouble with their vision. Moon Atomizer soon got her senses together and cast Anti.

Remix looked at Camila and asked,"Who here had the sleeping gas?"

Nisshoku sheathed his daggers and said,"It was Kireek, he seems to not want to kill anyone. Which is odd seeing as the original Kireek did nothing but kill."

Remix thanked Nisshoku for fighting Kireek back but got no response, because the Crimson HUcast had dissapeared.

"Hey, wheres Ms.PhotonDrop?" Moon Atomizer asked as she and Syncesta tried waking up Camila and Techno.

Remix began walking toward the center of the room but an air conditioning duct's grate swung down and smashed him in the head.

"HAHA! Thats something Trimate would expect from Trimate!"

"...wait this could mean something!"

"That a giant Rat kidnapped PD?"

"No, I fought a very agile RAcaseal earlier. But she got away. Maybe she used this duct to take Ms.PhotonDrop."

As Techno woke up he heard those words and said,"Shoot! We're losing! Can somebody tell where that thing goes?!"

Suddenly a red Rati flys up and beeps.

"PD's MAG! It'll guide us to her!"

Trimate beeped twice and the Rati nodded and began flying away.

"What are you guys waiting for? Follow it!"

Syncesta laughed and asked,"You speak Rati?"

"Trimate told you he had advanced programs... SO FOLLOW THAT MAG!"

Techno and Camila stood up grogily but after a second the group of six began running down the halls after the red Rati.

"MAGs sure fly fast..." Moon Atomizer complained.

After turning the corner the Rati stopped, it had done its job.

The room wasn't as big as the others, a RAcaseal's head tumbled to the ground as two pink blades glided through its neck.

"Hey guys, how've you been?" PhotonDrop said cheerily as her Rati floated back behind her.

"...PD?! How did you..?"

"This RAcaseal was the only thing here. I figured you guys took care of Kireek and the other two."

"Don't look now but a very familiar face is coming."

Kireek, Negal and their FOnewm leader walked into the room, but the FOnewm collapsed before saying a word.

PhotonDrop and company stared blankly at the three.

"Master Felix, whats wrong?" Negal asked.

Negal then stood up clutching his chest.

Okay, this got stranger then earlier... PhotonDrop thought.

"Negal, what hurt you?"

"Master Felix has taken leave of his senses!" Negal answered as he fell to the floor dead.

The FOnewm stood up, trials of blood were on his DB Saber. His skin began to mutate, turning black with yellow neon trails.

Kireek turned and swung his Yamigarasu, he hit nothing.

After a low pitched hissing noise the HUcast was decapitated.

Everyone drew their weapons as Felix shifted his attention toward PhotonDrop.

The FOnewm charged and Techno jumped in the way.

The DB Saber hit the Victor Axe with a loud zap noise.

The group split up and began the offensive.

Moon Atomizer shot Foie and Felix backflipped over it.

Camila opened fire with her Mechguns, knocking the FOnewm down.

PhotonDrop ran up and stabbed her Claw at Felix but missed, she looked up at the FOnewm who was falling back to the ground with his sword extended. Before he landed as blast of Grants from Moon Atomizer knocked him away.

Syncesta took aim with his Wals and shot, three bullets were imbeded into the FOnewms back. Trimate reached for his side and threw a round tan object.

The FOnewm was engulfed in an explosion and the floor beneath him collapsed, he fell into a black abyss.

"Trimate, where did you get that bomb?" Techno asked.

"Trimate mugged it off of Goliath's dead body." he responded.

PhotonDrop ran to Techno and hugged him."Its over..."

Techno stared at the hole in the ground and pondered. I don't know that was a bit too easy...

[Sayara]

Its...rushy. I don't know, its good and such. Just seems very rushed.

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-09-16 16:08, Tingle wrote:
Its...rushy. I don't know, its good and such. Just seems very rushed.



yeah i do that sometimes. i wish i didnt...

[Kuea]

On 2004-09-16 16:25, PhotonDrop wrote:


On 2004-09-16 16:08, Tingle wrote:
Its...rushy. I don't know, its good and such. Just seems very rushed.



yeah i do that sometimes. i wish i didnt...


well it does seem a little rushed but it is still very good http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

I love your ficcies cause they so good n.n

poor Kireek >_>

he didn't even get that beating he deserved >.<

[Sef]

You always make me wonder, "What's going to happen next? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif"

I hope to see what happens next. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

I guess this is kinda weird though, because I haven't really read much of the previous work...

I'll get around to it sometime. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sef on 2004-09-17 14:28 ]</font>

[PhotonDrop]

geebus how anti climatic :/

Chapter 15: Final Bout

PhotonDrop slowly broke away from Techno and walked toward the hole in the ground. It led to a Laboratory on the lower level where Felix's dead mutated body layed. Despite the distance his twisted smile could still be seen.

"I can't beleive our battle ended so quickly..." She said to herself as she turned around and began to walk away.

Before her foot touched the ground a small tremor shook the floor and knocked the Newman girl backwards, she gasped as she fell into the hole.

"PD!" Techno screamed as he ran and grabbed his friend's wrist at the last moment.

He lifted her out and asked,"What was that?"

With a glance into the hole his eyes bulged. Felix's body was growing.

"Techno? What is it?" PD asked.

"Run!"

As the HUmar and HUnewearl ran a dark purple beam of light shot out of the Laboratory. Felix rose up through it as his body pulsated, slowly mutating into a hideous form.

Everyone prepared for the enevitable fight, watching as the FOnewms legs split into 8 spider like limbs, his arms turned into bony appendages with blades at the elbows and two off the hands, and his torso and head morphed into something similar to a cross between Final Falz and Olga Flow's first form.

He then landed on the ground and raised his arms into the air and screamed through his distorted voice.

Everyone backed away and stared at the massive monstrosity. Each person had their own comment.

"What the hell?!" Camila whispered

"Umm Buzzkill? We have some hella work to do..." Trimate said quietly.

"Ha...haha..haha..." Moon Atomizer laughed nervously.

"I spoke too soon..." PhotonDrop sighed as she tightened the strap on her Claw.

"Do organization leaders ever die?" Remix said with his Mag cowering behind him.

"Why did I have to wake up this morning?" Syncesta said as he lifted his Wals over his shoulder.

Okay, why did I expect the fight to end earlier? things like this ALWAYS happen Techno thought to himself.

Suddenly their Rings started to glow. They looked at one another with disbeleif. Then Felix began to walk around. With a roar he sent a rain of photonic blades into the air.

They were dodged and the fight began.

Syncesta and Camila began firing with their Rifles as the others charged. Felix threw a slash and sent a wave of energy, knocking the Hunters down. He then lept into the air and landed on top of PhotonDrop.

He thrusted his right arm toward the Newman girl as she screamed and raised her arm in a futile attempt to block the attack. A flash of red light erupted from the strike, everyone sheilded their eyes and looked away, wanting to not see their friend splattered on the ground.

The light cleared up and PhotonDrop stood there, with Felix's massive body actually struggling to attack. He tried to force his bladed arm down but PhotonDrop held her arm high with her Red Ring absorbing the blow. Felix stabbed down with his other arm but the Red Ring pulsated, causing the monster to back off.

Slowly the other rings reacted, they too pulsated. Felix covered his face with a hand and went berserk, the light eminating from the Rings was slowly killing him. He threw his hands into the air and roared and slowly disintegrated amidst a gray light.

"Is this the end?" PhotonDrop murmured.

Techno walked up next to the HUnewearl and said,"Yes, yes it is..."

"... Lets go home."

The seven Hunters turned and walked away, as they came to the entrace of the mansion the artificial sunlight began shining.

Death's Key was defeated and Pioneer 2 is protected from the Ruins being re-opened.

PhotonDrop and her friends picked up where they left off 21 years ago and continued their lives.

[Kuea]

all I can say is that I love how it turned out http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

I didn't expect the thing with the rings either

hehehe since you have done really good with your ficcie I wanna know if your psow commnity story is going good as well

my only problem is the battle was a touch too quick though

[PhotonDrop]

On 2004-09-23 17:20, Eclair wrote:
all I can say is that I love how it turned out http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

I didn't expect the thing with the rings either

hehehe since you have done really good with your ficcie I wanna know if your psow commnity story is going good as well

my only problem is the battle was a touch too quick though



yeah, i should have practiced with "people vs giant monster" fights. I didnt quite know how to go about this correctly...

but this isnt over yet n.n

Lost Chapters 1 and 2 are going to be put into production THEN my fic is over. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[TheOneHero]

I figured I'd take a look and start reading your ficcie PD. I read about halfway through tonight... >.> finish it tommorow.

I like it so far and it's pretty funny. I shall post again once I'm done reading. I'm a little tired right now and want to be awake fully when I read to get all the detail soaked in! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Sayara]

Ahh the IT ending!

IT Ending - a Random Giant spider killed off by light

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif
Regardless its been a fun ride and great job

[Solstis]

Hm...

I finally got to finish it!

Let me start with this: Chapters 1-13 were like eating a slice of delicious cheese cake.

Mmmm.

Chapters 14-15 were like finding a piece of chicken in your cheese cake. You go... "WTF! There's a piece of chicken in my cake!"

Of course, that hasn't happened to me, but it provides some explanation.

Everything up to the last two chapters had a sense of freshness and exploration. The aforementioned chapters had a somewhat cliche sense to them, that somewhat gave the impression that they were rushed.

It seemed that you REALLY wanted to finish it.

Now, this may not be the case, of course, but this is a problem that I have myself.

I also didn't have the sense that Felix was very "large" in the anti-climatic last battle.

It also would have been nice if the main characters had a bit more trouble with him.

Another point is that the whole Felix thing completely confused me. That was the chicken in my cheese cake.

All in all though... I give the story an *A- for overall style and originality.

*I give my fics a B, so don't think that's a bad grade.


[edit]: This is the worst critique I have ever written. :/

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2004-09-24 08:55 ]</font>