MrLostman
May 20, 2004, 06:37 PM
Well I read alot of fanfiction and I thought it was time to try to be funny and make a crack at this so I bring you my first attempt at writing a fanfiction, the Chronicles Of Lostman!
Chronicles Of Lostman
Chapter One: The Unknown man
Loading Profile for MrLostman
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..
...
Full Name: Unknown
Age: Unknown (First seen around AUW 3094, thought to be 21 years old.)
Sex: Male
Hair: Navy Blue
Homeland: Unknown
Parents: Unknown
Closest Living Relation: Unknown
Occupation: Hunter
Class: Ranger (though adept with techniques)
Marital Status: Single
...
..
.
"Thats it?", asked MrLostman. "And this is going to get me a date?"
"No you retard, this is what your hunters file looks like.", replied his computer.
"Don't get cocky, I can ctrl alt delete you, buddy.", said MrLostman, glaring at his computer. "Just run a check for matching profiles, I need a good laugh."
"Get up off your ass and go clubbing.", typed his personal computer assistant. "Im done working for the day. If you don't like it you can eat shit."
"Fine, fine!', said MrLostman, kicking his computer. "I will use my so called people skills now."
MrLostman doesn't know who he is or what he is about, except that he is MrLostman and that he is a ranger on Ragol, in the year AUW 3115. Its been a while and the whole Arkz revolution has been a distant memory. A few cities have been established, yet Pioneer 2 still floats on endlessly in orbit around Ragol. MrLostman, the subject of this tale showed up around Ragol back as a baby in AUW 3094. Raised by the government since infancy, he was given the identity MrLostman, cause noone knew who he was. Lostman?s only companion is his computer terminal, which would make MrLostman a nerd who cant get any, but thats another story. So Lostman now sets off to try to work his social skills for a date.
"Boy, this wont end well", thought MrLostman. "I really have a bad feeling about this."
Lostman wondered on a while till he came upon a shopping district in the fine city of Caelium. The first females he ran across was a group of Hunewearls that were not to happy to see him.
"Hello, ladies!", said MrLostman with a wave. "How are you all this fine afternoon?"
Most of the girls got up and walked away, leaving one.
"Um, hello sir.", said the HUnewearl. "My name is Cassandra. You are"
"Lostman. MrLostman.", said MrLostman. "Cassandra is it? Wow thats a nice name."
"Cant say much about your name.", said Cassandra as she sweat dropped. "Uh, except that it is... different."
"Thats okay.", MrLostman said after a pause. "I know its strange. I mean being and orphan an all."
"Oh your where an orphan?", asked Cassandra, her eyes getting watery. "Thats so sad!"
"Yea... So what are you doing Saturday night?", replied MrLostman. "If you wanna hear more about my tragic tale."
Cassandra raised an eyebrow and said, "I was already gonna go out with you but if this is a lie, I wont bother."
"It's the truth I swear!", said MrLostman, who preceded to get down on his knees and beg at Cassandra's feet. "I beg of you to please give me a chance! Im really nice, once you get to know me! Look I will even give you this wonderful pair of uh...". MrLostman dug around in his pockets and pulled out a sock, "This Sock! It kinda smells so you might wanna wash it!"
"Eww.", said Cassandra. "Put the damn sock in a Bio Hazzard bin and I will go out with you! Just put the sock away!"
"YAY!", shouted MrLostman, jumping up at Cassandra and hugging her tightly. "I cant thank you enough!"
Later on MrLostman finds himself strolling down the streets of Caelium in a pretty happy mood. In fact, he was in such a good mood he didn?t even realize he was about to walk right into a light post.
"Ofh", yelped MrLostman as he fell to the ground. "Damn poll. Where the hell did you come from."
"Im not a poll you freaking retard!", yelled the light post. "Im a robotic light delivery system."
"Uh huh.", said MrLostman, sitting up and rubbing his head. "So your just a light post."
"No!", said the light post. "A ROBOTIC LIGHT DELIVERY SYSTEM"
"Wait, how can you talk?", asked MrLostman. "Thats not possible."
"Some idiot put a CPU C.A.R.D on me with a magnet and the thing fused with me, giving me the powers of an android to think and talk.", replied the light post.
"Uh huh.", laughed MrLostman. "Light post..."
"Ahh go finger yourself, Lostman.", said the light post.
"Uh... how did you know my name?", asked MrLostman.
"Ancient chinese secret.", replied the light post.
"Yea well I gotta go cause.", said MrLostman, being cut off by the light post.
"You have a date with a girl named Cassandra.", said the light post.
"Tell me how do you know this", asked MrLostman.
"Cause I'm reading it right now.", replied the light post.
MrLostman just stared and said. "Crazy ass light post."
I hope you enjoy I and I want constructive critisim only! Anyway, can someone tell me what it is with all my "s and 's being ?s i had to change that after I previewed my post.
Chronicles Of Lostman
Chapter One: The Unknown man
Loading Profile for MrLostman
.
..
...
Full Name: Unknown
Age: Unknown (First seen around AUW 3094, thought to be 21 years old.)
Sex: Male
Hair: Navy Blue
Homeland: Unknown
Parents: Unknown
Closest Living Relation: Unknown
Occupation: Hunter
Class: Ranger (though adept with techniques)
Marital Status: Single
...
..
.
"Thats it?", asked MrLostman. "And this is going to get me a date?"
"No you retard, this is what your hunters file looks like.", replied his computer.
"Don't get cocky, I can ctrl alt delete you, buddy.", said MrLostman, glaring at his computer. "Just run a check for matching profiles, I need a good laugh."
"Get up off your ass and go clubbing.", typed his personal computer assistant. "Im done working for the day. If you don't like it you can eat shit."
"Fine, fine!', said MrLostman, kicking his computer. "I will use my so called people skills now."
MrLostman doesn't know who he is or what he is about, except that he is MrLostman and that he is a ranger on Ragol, in the year AUW 3115. Its been a while and the whole Arkz revolution has been a distant memory. A few cities have been established, yet Pioneer 2 still floats on endlessly in orbit around Ragol. MrLostman, the subject of this tale showed up around Ragol back as a baby in AUW 3094. Raised by the government since infancy, he was given the identity MrLostman, cause noone knew who he was. Lostman?s only companion is his computer terminal, which would make MrLostman a nerd who cant get any, but thats another story. So Lostman now sets off to try to work his social skills for a date.
"Boy, this wont end well", thought MrLostman. "I really have a bad feeling about this."
Lostman wondered on a while till he came upon a shopping district in the fine city of Caelium. The first females he ran across was a group of Hunewearls that were not to happy to see him.
"Hello, ladies!", said MrLostman with a wave. "How are you all this fine afternoon?"
Most of the girls got up and walked away, leaving one.
"Um, hello sir.", said the HUnewearl. "My name is Cassandra. You are"
"Lostman. MrLostman.", said MrLostman. "Cassandra is it? Wow thats a nice name."
"Cant say much about your name.", said Cassandra as she sweat dropped. "Uh, except that it is... different."
"Thats okay.", MrLostman said after a pause. "I know its strange. I mean being and orphan an all."
"Oh your where an orphan?", asked Cassandra, her eyes getting watery. "Thats so sad!"
"Yea... So what are you doing Saturday night?", replied MrLostman. "If you wanna hear more about my tragic tale."
Cassandra raised an eyebrow and said, "I was already gonna go out with you but if this is a lie, I wont bother."
"It's the truth I swear!", said MrLostman, who preceded to get down on his knees and beg at Cassandra's feet. "I beg of you to please give me a chance! Im really nice, once you get to know me! Look I will even give you this wonderful pair of uh...". MrLostman dug around in his pockets and pulled out a sock, "This Sock! It kinda smells so you might wanna wash it!"
"Eww.", said Cassandra. "Put the damn sock in a Bio Hazzard bin and I will go out with you! Just put the sock away!"
"YAY!", shouted MrLostman, jumping up at Cassandra and hugging her tightly. "I cant thank you enough!"
Later on MrLostman finds himself strolling down the streets of Caelium in a pretty happy mood. In fact, he was in such a good mood he didn?t even realize he was about to walk right into a light post.
"Ofh", yelped MrLostman as he fell to the ground. "Damn poll. Where the hell did you come from."
"Im not a poll you freaking retard!", yelled the light post. "Im a robotic light delivery system."
"Uh huh.", said MrLostman, sitting up and rubbing his head. "So your just a light post."
"No!", said the light post. "A ROBOTIC LIGHT DELIVERY SYSTEM"
"Wait, how can you talk?", asked MrLostman. "Thats not possible."
"Some idiot put a CPU C.A.R.D on me with a magnet and the thing fused with me, giving me the powers of an android to think and talk.", replied the light post.
"Uh huh.", laughed MrLostman. "Light post..."
"Ahh go finger yourself, Lostman.", said the light post.
"Uh... how did you know my name?", asked MrLostman.
"Ancient chinese secret.", replied the light post.
"Yea well I gotta go cause.", said MrLostman, being cut off by the light post.
"You have a date with a girl named Cassandra.", said the light post.
"Tell me how do you know this", asked MrLostman.
"Cause I'm reading it right now.", replied the light post.
MrLostman just stared and said. "Crazy ass light post."
I hope you enjoy I and I want constructive critisim only! Anyway, can someone tell me what it is with all my "s and 's being ?s i had to change that after I previewed my post.