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Kyrous
May 21, 2004, 11:07 PM
My name is Linda Eveland, and today I died. I was shot in the mall, while I was shopping for some new shoes, yet I still live to write this. Today, while I looked for a little change of clothes sytle, I found a huge change in my life style.

Part 1: Leaving Normal

A girl stood outside a crowded accessory story, looking in on the rampaging females grabbing new necklaces, chains, toe rings and everything else they could get their hands on. The girl was waiting for her best friend, who was inside, still in the
melee. The girl was shorter than most, with a youthful face for the sixteen years she had lived. A sophemore in High School, she wore a orange shirt with a gray skirt, covered in yellow and green flowers. She had black hair, straight and down a little past her shoulders.

"Linda," a blonde screamed, panting and stumbling out of the store, "it is an animal house in there."
Linda smiled a bright white smile, with a small overbite, and looked at her taller, blonde friend. Linda's friend had hair also down to her shoulders, and she wore a red skirt with a stripped brown and peach shirt. She had small white pearl earrings on as well.

"Of all my time in this mall, I have never seen so many people packed into one store," Linda's friend said as she got within speaking distance.

"They are having the biggest sale they have ever had, did you expect a small turnout, be practical Melissa," Linda retorted as they turned towards the food court, "lets get some food."

"Oh man, Linda, that guy over there is checking you out," Melissa said as they both turned their heads across the way to the other side of the mall towards the arcade where an equally aged guy, with short, straight black hair and dark green eyes stood looking in their direction, "I have seen him at school before, but I can't remember his.."

"Maxx, thats his name, he is in Chemistry with me," Linda butted in as they watched two girls and a guy walk up to him, obviously his friends, "and he isn't checking me out, thats his girlfriend right there."

Melissa looked at them both, they both had blonde hair, one brighter and shorter than the other's, the bright blonde was the same height as Linda, but her hair was curly and she had blue eyes compaired to Linda's dark ones. The other blonde was tall, taller than Maxx and was built like an amazon, but had a pretty face and brown eyes, "Which one, there is two girls in the direction."

"The short one," Linda answered with a small amount of dismay in her voice, "by the way the other guy there is the girl's brother."

"He is quite cute," Melissa answered looking at the rag-tag, criminal-looking brother, with unruly brown hair and brown eyes, larger than average build and as tall as his friend, "what's his name?"

"I don't really know him that well, maybe you should go and ask," Linda nudged her friend softly as she spoke, "I don't think he has a girlfriend."

"He probably isn't my type," Melissa responded on the defensive.

Thats when they heard the voices behind them, and the turned to see what all the commotion was about. There were several guys standing around pushing and shoving each other and yelling at each other. Linda and Melissa watched as the guys fought, and one that got knocked over reached in his coat and pulled out a pistol. The guy that knocked him jumped to the ground and the bullet sounded as it flew from the barrel. Melissa watched in horror as Linda fell backwards and landed on her back and bounced up after hitting the floor.

"Oh my god, Linda," Melissa screamed as Linda stopped moving.

Maxx watched Linda fall and ran over to her body screaming "Nick, get the car" behind him as he dashed forward. Maxx got to her body and looked at the bullet wound in her stomach and put his hand on the would applying pressure as he tilted his head up and his eyes glowed gold and his hand glowed white. The energy around his hand went into Linda and the blood disappeared as did the wound and Linda opened her eyes and looked into Maxx's.

"She is fine, she just fainted," Maxx said to Melissa who was looking around screaming for help, "don't worry, she is ok, just stop yelling."

Melissa looked down and blinked several times before speaking, "But she looked like she got shot!"

Maxx turned his head and smiled, "She's fine, look for yourself."

Melissa looked over his shoulder to see Linda eyes open and no blood or hole in her chest, and she was relieved.

Maxx bent over to Linda's ear and whisper, "Please don't tell anyone, just play it off as you fainted."

Maxx stood up and ran down the hall to the door and jumped into the car with Nick waiting and drove off. Linda stood up and watched as he drove away and wondered what had just happened. She looked down to see that he left his folder.

In that folder there was a poem that he wrote, "It's a beautiful day, I heard everybody say, The sun shines down for all of us, just the same, You know I like the rain, that ain't so obvious... It's a beautiful sound, When my life comes crashing down... We are the normal, We live and we die, with no reason why..." For some reason the poem fit, I died and he healed me, we crossed the line between normal and fantasy, and with that line crossed, there was no coming back.

Kyrous
May 21, 2004, 11:09 PM
I could use some help writting this, firstly I need a title, plus do you think I should keep names significant to my personally life, Maxx is my real name with the T's tilted to X's, Linda is girl in real life that I used to base the character, Melissa being Linda's friend(this all being in real life) and Nick is my best friend's name. Do you think I should keep the characters close to me so its easier to write about them?

Thanks for the Input!

Aunt_Betty
May 21, 2004, 11:31 PM
On 2004-05-21 21:09, Kyrous wrote:
I could use some help writting this, firstly I need a title, plus do you think I should keep names significant to my personally life, Maxx is my real name with the T's tilted to X's, Linda is girl in real life that I used to base the character, Melissa being Linda's friend(this all being in real life) and Nick is my best friend's name. Do you think I should keep the characters close to me so its easier to write about them?

Thanks for the Input!

I'll help you do this. The title should be,
Life Tatics:A Time to Cry for Help

Sagasu
May 22, 2004, 08:44 PM
One thing that irks me is that you have a lot of run-on sentences here http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif You should problably go back through and see which commas are nessesary and those that are not should be removed.

I had a comma fetish when I started off as well http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

A title for the chapter? Or for the entire fiction?

Despite what was mentioned above, I found reading this quite enjoyable. And I hope to continue to comment as your ficcie progresses http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Kyrous
May 22, 2004, 09:45 PM
The name of the chapter is Leaving Normal, I need a name for the whole fanfic o_O.. any suggestions, and yes, I have alot of run-on sentences, right after I posted I got dragged away from the computer by some friends and haven't really had the time to fix it up, I probably fix the mistakes and such tomorrow.

Kyrous
May 25, 2004, 10:43 PM
It has been several days since the event in the mall, and since I haven't found the courage to talk to Maxx about what happened. So many questions are running through my head about him, he is all I have
thought about for the last couple days, wondering who he really is, how he could do the impossible. Today will be the day I ask him, and get all the answers about who he really is, and what he is hiding.

Chapter 2: Secrets

Maxx and Nick stood outside the arcade, as they did several days before, waiting for Nick's two sisters. Maxx wore his normal black outfit, black pants with a hint of baby blue around them, a black shirt without sleeves and red shoulders, and black sandles. His hair was combed to the left side of his head. Nick was wearing a orange shirt and kaiki cargo shorts, also sporting sandles. Unlike Maxx's hair, Nick's was unruly, as he never took any time to comb it.

"You know Maxx, that was really stupid to use your powers in public like you did, you almost got us caught," Nick said as he looked around for his sisters, "over some girl you don't know, you can't
go..."

"Shut up Nick, I know the girl, her name is Linda, it was worth saving her, and I would do it again," Maxx
interupted his friend before he could finish his sentence, "lets just find Ivy and Tiff and go in and
train."

"Have you talked this Linda girl about happened," Nick asked as Maxx turned to walk into the arcade.

"No, I think she is avoiding me, she is probably just a little freaked out about it," Maxx responded as he
started to take a step into the arcade.

Nick spun him around, "You gotta get a handle on her, if she blabs to the wrong person we are gonners. This is your problem, you found it, you fix it."

Maxx dropped his head and looked back up at Nick, "It'll be fine, I will take care of everything."

Nick stopped looking at Maxx and focused behind him, "How did they," Maxx looked behind him to see the
two girls smiling and waving at them, "they are sneaky as usual, Maxx you better be careful with
Tiff, I think she is a little jealous of what you did for the Linda girl."

"It's my problem, let me deal with it, Linda and Tiff," Maxx said as he walked up to Tiff and hugged her.

Ivy looked at Nick and mouthed "he should be mine" and walked into the pod nearest her. Nick followed suit a grabbed the VR pod in the back.

Tiff looked into Maxx's eyes, "Is everything ok, you delt with that girl you healed a couple days ago,
right?"

Maxx nodded at her and looked towards the pods, "Yeah, we got some training to do." They broke their
embrace and jumped into their pods.

Linda walked out of the Trig room rubbing her eyes trying to wake herself up, as she found math such a
bore. Although she slept through class, she maintained the highest grades in her class. Her hair was a bit messed up from having her head down on her desk and she walked to her locker and fixed her hair in the mirror, and grabbed her gym bag, as cheerleading practice was right after school. As she turned around she saw him. Maxx was wearing a
black shirt with matching pants and his brown leather flight jacket and he was turned away from her, talking to Nick and Ivy.

Maxx turned around and saw her, smiling a small smile, he never had big facial expressions. Linda
looked into his eyes as he walked up, "Have you seen my folder, I think I left it at the mall."

Linda broke from the trance and nodded slowly, "Yes, I have it, its here in my locker somewhere," as she
turned towards the locker to find the folder. She grabbed it, it was black, matching Maxx's style, and
she handed it to Maxx, smiling at him.

Maxx took the folder and smiled as she looked at him, and soon after looked a little less happy, "I think
we need to talk."

Linda's smile also faded, "Yes, there is some things we need to get straight." Linda grabbed Maxx's hand and led him to the band hall, where they found an empty practice room and walked in. Maxx walked in
first and Linda followed him closing the door behind them.

"So...," Linda started, feeling awkward at the whole situation. The practice rooms were usually a place
for make-out sessions, and the fact that she was sitting there waiting for the explination to how she was sitting there in front of him.

"So...," Maxx responded in kind, quite a bit nervous himself. He had never found himself in this position, telling someone his secrets. They spent a few moments just staring at one another. Maxx studied her, his eyes wandered down her body, looking at her red shirt and tight, black pants. He thought
she was really beautiful, and he had his eyes on her since he met her in fifth grade. Everytime he thought of her, lately in the last few days, images of Tiffany flooded into his mind, as if he should feel guilty.

"We gotta talk about what happened at the mall, I got shot Maxx, how is it that I am not, you know...dead,"
Linda finally got out after a long, awkward silence, "you need to tell me everything."

"Where should I begin," Maxx asked quietly in responce to Linda's comment, "I have never had to tell anyone this."

"Firstly, you are human right," Linda asked with a half-curious, half-scared look on her face, "You
aren't an alien or anything, are you?"

Maxx smiled slightly, "Not an alien, I am just an average, everyday human boy, well not so much average."

"Then how did you get your powers," Linda questioned intensely, as if she had a list in her head and was
interrogating Maxx, "were you born with them or..."

"We just started using them, about a year ago," Maxx answered before Linda could finish her sentence, "they were triggered by this game at the mall, its called Phantasy Star Online, its a virtual reality game. Ever since that day we played and left, we have had powers similiar to the attacks and abilities of the game."

Linda sat there amazed, her jaw only inches from the floor, "So you are telling me that you got powers from playing a video game, and you said we, we who, everyone who plays that game or what?"

"Nick, Ivy and Tiffany, we all saw the grand opening sign and walked in to try it out, when we walked out we eventually started to notice that we could do things in real life that we were doing in the game," Maxx answered, looking down at the floor and then back at her.

"So did everyone there get these powers, or just you four," Linda said as her face changed from fear
to concern.

"As far as we know, only us four can do this, and ever since we have gone there repeatedly because its the way we hone our powers, the stronger we get in the game, the stronger we are in the real world," Maxx answered.

The bell rang just as Linda had started to ask about his powers and changed her question quickly, "Maxx,
I want you to come over to my house after school and show me all the powers you have, I wanna know
everything."

Maxx looked at her confused, "You want me to show you all my powers, why?"

Linda looked into his eyes, "I want to understand you Maxx, so I can understand the guy that saved my life and know how the guy saved my life."

Maxx nodded and grabbed the door handle, "So, your house after school, its a date." He smiled and
opened the door for her as she walked by. Maxx followed quietly and walked to his sixth period
class.

Maxx walked up to Linda house, a huge top-of-the-line house in one of those big golf neighborhoods. Maxx
studied the house; the pink paint, the four car garage, and the small house in the back behind the pool.

He followed the path back to the small building that was a make-shift guest house and knocked on the door.
The decor of the building gave away that the occupant was a teenage girl. The black, wooden door opened with Linda standing on the other side of the doorway.

"Come on in Maxx," Linda said with a friendly smile on her face as Maxx took the first step to pass into the threshold of her home, "please make yourself at home."

Maxx smiled slighty back and walked in and sat on the black, leather couch that sat near the door. He slid back into the couch getting comfortable, "So, I am sure you are probably just wanting to get to the real reason for the meeting."

"I just want to know about your talents," Linda quietly said to Maxx.

Maxx smirked as he stood up and looked towards the back door, "Then lets get started, shall we," he motioned to the door.

Linda opened the back door and Maxx looked out into the huge backyard that sat behind her small guest house and they both stepped onto the green, St. Augustine grass that ran for a good acre until hitting dense woods. Maxx took some steps away from Linda as to keep her safe from what he planned to show her.

"Are you ready, I thought I should warn you before I start doing anything," Maxx said over to Linda who stood by the house, anxiously looking on as Maxx looked at her with a curious grin.

"I am ready, do your worst," Linda said in a sweet tone as she smiled at him, feeling that his powers couldn't be too dangerous if they had some healing quality to them.

Maxx's eyes started glowing a light red, and Maxx brought his hand up and pointed it at nothing, as his hand began to shine the same shade of red that his eyes emitted.

Linda stood in amazement at the beautiful color that Maxx had pouring out of his body in different hues. She wondered how much fucos and energy it took to do what he was doing, if it was alot of training or if he walked out of the VR pod with all the knowledge of how to use the powers in real life.

Maxx's hand started flaring off red light and quickly after a fireball flew out of his hand, leaving searing air behind it as it traveled down the plain until Maxx snapped and the Foie dissapaited

"That was amazing, and so beautiful," Linda said after a few seconds of letting everything that had happened sink in, "truely amazing."

Maxx looked over at her, a little flushed but smirking, "That is just the tip of the iceburg."

The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kyrous on 2004-05-27 04:32 ]</font>

Kyrous
May 27, 2004, 07:25 AM
all imput/opinions are thanked greatly