Dangers of online life

[Scejntjynahl]

I havent been online for almost 5 days, and I decided to return last night.

And I happen to meet one of my friends that lives in Puerto Rico (I live in California). Which was odd, because it would have 1 in the morning in Puerto Rico when I logged on.

So the usuall greetings take place: "Hi, how are you?", "Where have you been?" and such other trivial formalities. Or so I expected.

Friend: "I want to sleep"
Me: "Ok, nice seen you"
Friend: "Nice knowing you"
Me: "...." "huh" "hmmm, are you quitting pso?"
Friend: "..."
Me: "let me guess, your going 2 FFxii" "lol"
Friend: "I see red"
Me: "..." "err, ok, you have a red light bulb" "=D"
Friend: "It hurts... hurts"
Me: *finally getting the seriousness of it* "are you alone?" "is anyone with you?"
Friend: "...no" "im alone, always"
Me: "go to a friends house" "call me" "call your mom" "call anyone"
Friend: "...the pain..it will stop?"
Me: "pain makes us who we are" "makes us weak and strong" "call me" *digs through my phone numbers*
Friend: "im disgusting... it hurts"
Me: "your not disgusting to me!" *finds phone number*
Friend: "ty, but u r far away" "all good things" "are far away"
Me: "but im here now, right now" "listen to me" "you matter to me" *im dialing phone number*
Friend: "but i dont matter to me"
Friend: "...im getting tire" "srry"
Me: "just wait a second" *phone rings: this number has been temporarily disconnected* *DAM*
Me: "quick give me your home number, will talk"
"please hear me out..."
Friend: *disconnects*
Me: *F... Great, .... .... *

The dangers of online, we touch other ppls life on a digital world, we communicate, but that is all. I feel useless, I felt utterly alone and powerless... I couldnt do shit... nothing... deep down I hope it was a bad day for my friend that sleeping will give a better view, hoping that it was a joke. BUT, if it wasnt... I will never know... NEVER. How fragile life is, and my thoughts turn to those in despair, to those that come to pso to get away, to find friends to live a make believe life where they have control and power over their destiny. And I think of those few idiots that just spam, ridicule, hate, and bring forth bigotry to this digital world.. my head hurts... I hurt... and I couldnt do anything... NOTHING I COULD DO NOTHING.

[Armok]

Some ppl just act worryingly online. You have to remember that only having contact with ppl online and non in the real world can send some ppl over the edge. I remember back in 2002 I spent way too much time online 5+hrs a day and began to break down. Hopefully this person was just playin though.

[RFB]

For the sound of it, looks like he was not playing...
Looks like he was serious.
I understand how he feels... because I have felt like that too many times.
He will eventually get over it. It would have been better if you could have contacted that person somehow, but he will get over it, with time. Time heals wounds. Time do not allow us to forget them, as they stay as scratches in our hearts and will keep torturing you, but at least they heal and you can keep going on.

[KodiaX987]

One day, SnAPPLE died of cancer...

Need I say more?

[Aunt_Betty]

On 2004-06-17 11:13, KodiaX987 wrote:
One day, SnAPPLE died of cancer...

Need I say more?

Is that an FKL myth or real?

[Mixfortune]

On 2004-06-17 11:42, Aunt_Betty wrote:


On 2004-06-17 11:13, KodiaX987 wrote:
One day, SnAPPLE died of cancer...

Need I say more?

Is that an FKL myth or real?



Ummm... kind of cold-hearted, yes?

Anyways, Furankunichan, I'm sorry if I wasn't talking much... I don't currently have a kb and it often takes me a while to type using the soft keyboard (the in-game keyboard), and I'm not very good at comforting others in times like this.

Hopefully it will turn out, and stay away from the worst outcome, but if you haven't been able to contact them or get a response yet... I'm not sure what to say...

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-06-17 12:51, Mixfortune wrote:

Anyways, Furankunichan, I'm sorry if I wasn't talking much... I don't currently have a kb and it often takes me a while to type using the soft keyboard (the in-game keyboard), and I'm not very good at comforting others in times like this.

Hopefully it will turn out, and stay away from the worst outcome, but if you haven't been able to contact them or get a response yet... I'm not sure what to say...



No worries, at least you were there, thank you.

[Aunt_Betty]

When the soutern Californian Wldfires cam my oline freinds were worried about me.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

I have, once or twice, talked people out of committing suicide over the net. It's especially difficult. You really have to get their total attention, or whatever you say won't matter, as they're distracted by other things.

It can definitely be tough, though. They often get into a line of thinking that makes them tell you, "No one I know cares about me." Things like that. Meanwhile, you're 2,000 miles away, telling them with text, "You know me. And I give a shit. If you kill yourself, I'm going to be rather distraught." Sometimes that works, and sometimes they retort with, "You don't care!" And that becomes an argument of its own.

What I find usually works, is getting them to start talking, and telling you about what's troubling them. More often than not, it's just a matter of getting something off their chests. Sometimes they won't do it, though. Not over the net, anyway. If you can talk to them on the phone, though, it's usually easier, that way.



Maybe you couldn't get anything accomplished Frank, but you did everything you could, under the given circumstances. You did the right thing. It doesn't take success to be a hero, y'know.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2004-06-17 14:58 ]</font>

[Sef]

Furankunichan you said yesterday your friend was calling you while we were on PSO? I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened? You kinda just left after that. It wasn't bad was it? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

I'm just concerned is all.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sef on 2004-06-18 18:05 ]</font>

[anwserman]

Was that a cat that died?
I just searched for users named Snapple and one said that a cat died in 2002.

Anyway, back to the topic.
Suicide is a horrid thing, I've known two people actually who did indeed kill themselves. Suicide isn't a pretty thing, and I'm tired right now and I'm not much for writing but...

I'm digging myself into a whole.

Life sucks plain and simple. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif

[DarthFomar]

My friend literally can play Counter-Strike from dusk till dawn.

He's been late for work because he stayed up all night playing it. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[Scejntjynahl]

Update:

I received a phone call from friend, seems that mom found the blood, and called ambulance. Now the family is seeking counseling.

I guess all things taken in consideration, its a good ending. I hope the counseling works.

Nothing worse than not been able to help, but at least now I know what happened. Its a relief, not knowing was making me crazy.

[Sef]

Whew, that's good. Blood, huh? I guess I'll sound stupid, but what exactly did your friend do?

And, I do hope that the counseling works.

[Evil_Althena8]

Its probably an age related thing. Everybody at one point in their life, mainly teen years does that sort of thing. I was kinda like that at times, but never openly. It's practically useless to try to change somebody's life over the internet, therefore I don't think trying to help is going to do that much. But, then again, there always is hope...

[SJ]

Most of the people who go on about suicide on the internet just want attention.
I find it sad sonme people resort to suicide when something goes wrong.
People shouldn't abuse life like that, it's stupid.
Sure life has ups and downs but you just have to live with it.
I think anyone that has ever commited suicide is selfish, in most cases there are people who have alot worse but try and do something with their live unlike the fools who just end it with a *insert method of suicide(theres to many to list)*...

[darthsaber9x9]

On 2004-06-19 14:10, Sef wrote:
Whew, that's good. Blood, huh? I guess I'll sound stupid, but what exactly did your friend do?

And, I do hope that the counseling works.



READ THE FIRST POST OF THIS TOPIC
yes you did sound stupid



Its probably an age related thing. Everybody at one point in their life, mainly teen years does that sort of thing. I was kinda like that at times, but never openly. It's practically useless to try to change somebody's life over the internet, therefore I don't think trying to help is going to do that much. But, then again, there always is hope...


erm no, im getting through my teen years now, and ive never felt suicidal. i dont think its something that happens to everybody..


Most of the people who go on about suicide on the internet just want attention.
I find it sad sonme people resort to suicide when something goes wrong.
People shouldn't abuse life like that, it's stupid.
Sure life has ups and downs but you just have to live with it.
I think anyone that has ever commited suicide is selfish, in most cases there are people who have alot worse but try and do something with their live unlike the fools who just end it with a *insert method of suicide(theres to many to list)*...

goddam you're inconsiderate. you clearly have never been the position of considering suicide. selfish? fools? youre post has angered me beyond belief. i cant really sum up a decent argument as its time for bed, but hopefully someone will latch on to what im saying and write a decent post http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

[Dangerous55]

On 2004-06-21 15:07, darthsaber9x9 wrote:


goddam you're inconsiderate. you clearly have never been the position of considering suicide. selfish? fools? youre post has angered me beyond belief. i cant really sum up a decent argument as its time for bed, but hopefully someone will latch on to what im saying and write a decent post http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif



Neither have you, I agree with SJ.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dangerous55 on 2004-06-21 15:35 ]</font>

[Wyndham]

one of my frends killed herself. she was like a big sister to me.
i wish i could've helped her, but shes gone.
hell, that was a year go, and i havcent been able to cry since.
at all.
and now i always wear black.
so i dont forget.

[RFB]

Suicide is selfish. I have gone trough it. And the main thought was "I wish I had never bornt". You are thinking just about yourself. About that life sucks, and it would be better if you would not exist. At least that is how it was for me.

Oran, wearing black is not a way to remember anyone. That is something that must be kept and done in one's heart. You do not have to wear black to remember anyone. You just have to think about that person.

[Wyndham]

its a reminder.
my mind's adapted so it pushes unpleasent things out.
its how i keep forgetting about greek school. >_>
i even forgot to breathe, once.
i almost got hit by an SUV on friday, and i JUST remembered.
see my point?
i dont want to forget her at all.
nothing.

[Dangerous55]

On 2004-06-21 18:46, Oran1324 wrote:

i even forgot to breathe, once.




Um, no.

[Wyndham]

im serious.
its NOT fun. or funny.
its indescribably terrifying.

[Dangerous55]

On 2004-06-21 19:00, Oran1324 wrote:
im serious.
its NOT fun. or funny.
its indescribably terrifying.



Actually it's none of that, but I am pretty sure it is impossible. Probably all in your head.

[ForceOfBrokenGlass]

On 2004-06-20 16:51, Evil_Althena8 wrote:
Its probably an age related thing. Everybody at one point in their life, mainly teen years does that sort of thing. I was kinda like that at times, but never openly. It's practically useless to try to change somebody's life over the internet, therefore I don't think trying to help is going to do that much. But, then again, there always is hope...


Actually, yeah psychologists say it is an age related thing. Not all but most Teens have contemplated suicide at one time or another, it's relatively normal. Usually the thing to do is to tell someone if a friend is plotting suicide. They usually will tell someone about it before they attempt suicide. you would have to tell their parents or someone who could help. That kind of activity is linked to the stresses of being a Teenager.

[Sef]

On 2004-06-21 15:07, darthsaber9x9 wrote:


On 2004-06-19 14:10, Sef wrote:
Whew, that's good. Blood, huh? I guess I'll sound stupid, but what exactly did your friend do?

And, I do hope that the counseling works.



READ THE FIRST POST OF THIS TOPIC
yes you did sound stupid


Hey wow, I read it again and guess what? It still didn't say what EXACTLY was wrong with his friend. Although it sounds like there was cutting involved. And next time, please look at what you type. Maybe you won't sound stupid.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sef on 2004-06-21 20:21 ]</font>

[LostHero]

The internet can't hold you, or touch you on a personal and physical level. Some people find that out too late.

[Sef]

On 2004-06-21 20:16, LostHero wrote:
The internet can't hold you, or touch you on a personal and physical level. Some people find that out too late.



Suppose you're talking to someone you know personally?

Or do you mean just the cold lifeless web that is the net?

[KodiaX987]

I'd like here to add two wise texts from the game Ikaruga. I believe these could maybe help a suicidal soul.


The more stubborn your own will is,
The more Trials you will be blessed with.
Of course, if you can avoid the Trials before your eyes,
It is also possible for you to flee them.
But the real purpose of a Trial
Is to make your soul stronger."


"In this world there is nothing absolute,
One may someday feel unsure
And sometimes even feel lost.
In order to overcome this
One must have a strong Faith
And know how to take action."

[SJ]

On 2004-06-21 20:16, LostHero wrote:
The internet can't hold you, or touch you on a personal and physical level. Some people find that out too late.


I totaly agree.
And how come I've never seen a post by you before?

[Scejntjynahl]

All I know is that we ensue our own internal battles with our own personal demons. Some of these demons are essentially parts of us, parts we dont like, or dont acknowledge. But, when and if, these demons become greater than us, we despair. And despair is handled differently by everyone, some laugh, some cry, some drink, some seek solitude, some seek confort, etc etc... and then there are those that seek the end. When we are faced with that sense of overwhelming darkness that at the time only we see, we try to act to survive, and we do so in any way possible. Some of us write, here, or in other forums. Other of us draw, paint, or create. Some of us talk, call, sing... we do these things to bring attention... our own way of S.O.S. There is no weakness in this attempts, they are merely the best we can do at the given moment. Remember hindsight is all powerful, but in the end useless... it is the present that commands us, the future that scares us, and the past that haunts us.

So when my friend said the things I read on pso, joke or not, I took it seriously. To me... life is always precious... such a delicate thing, hence why I wrote here also... I needed some outlett, to give me strength to face the worst. And thankfully, the worse only took place in my mind. My friend is in fact in counseling, progressing slowly, but progressing nonetheless... is this a solution? Perhaps not, but it is a fight.

Oran, wearing black is a noble think to do to remember your friend. But in my opinion, you could do so much more for her and you, other than just wear black. Make a webpage about her life, share her positive input that she had with you with the rest of us, so we too may know her. And in that way, you have honored her even more so than just wearing black to remember when she passed on. Remember her when she was alive, and let her live on within you and perhaps others as well.

[Wyndham]

ive done several things, I've even dedicated several artworks of mine to her.
but, every time i try to do something to share things about hher, i get depressed for days.
so i'll share one thing.
my happiest memory of her is when she said i was so sweet she wished i could be a little cat she could takewith her everywhere to cheer her up. pplay with at home, sleepwith at night, everywhere.

[SJ]

If she was so close to you (sounds friendly so others to probably) why did she take her life?
To me suicide just seems sad and stupid...heck Im a christian and from what I beleive suicide isnt exactly an escape...(I know I dont show it at times(I also know other may think suicide is an escape from the world we live in, but I feel differently))
And oran, wearing black to respect her is ok but isnt it a bit extreme?
Dont you get hot in the summer?
Dosnt it depress you?

[Wyndham]

hot in the summer?
i always feel cold.
and depressed?
not too often.

[SJ]

Oh by the way I wasnt being disrespectful, I was just curious.
Sorry if I offended.

[darthsaber9x9]

On 2004-06-21 20:06, Sef wrote:


On 2004-06-21 15:07, darthsaber9x9 wrote:


On 2004-06-19 14:10, Sef wrote:
Whew, that's good. Blood, huh? I guess I'll sound stupid, but what exactly did your friend do?

And, I do hope that the counseling works.



READ THE FIRST POST OF THIS TOPIC
yes you did sound stupid


Hey wow, I read it again and guess what? It still didn't say what EXACTLY was wrong with his friend. Although it sounds like there was cutting involved. And next time, please look at what you type. Maybe you won't sound stupid.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sef on 2004-06-21 20:21 ]</font>


lol i considered an alternate meaning for your post when i wrote it. and as i feared my way was wron so sorry bout that!

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Yes. I know the feeling.
I was online on PSO DC.
A friend/online buddy was depressed. He vented some thoughts about suicide.
I posted about it here at PSOW. To get some words of advice. Some help for this person I barely knew, because his online persona was considered a friend of mine.

People can in fact lie or brag or be anything they want to be online. Many do this and many are damned truthful about themselves, to let you into their lives. When things of any seriousness are said, you must take them seriously. We are only human afterall. We know about these life experiences. Talking about them, letting it out does help.

You can do the best you can with no regrets. It is hard. You will worry. You may even get depressed yourself. But you have to pull through. You have to find a way. You can't dwell. Everything happens for a reason. Meeting players online in games happens for a reason. Becoming friends happens for a reason. And dangers happen for a reason.

This may sound a bit harsh, but you have to let others live their own lives, but do help them as best you can when they are in need of help. When they ask for help you can assist them with whatever means necessary you have at your command.

They might not open up about why they are depressed to the point of willingly caused physical pain, but you can make an attempt.

It has all been said before, but it must be said again:

Life is rough, tough, hard, it sucks.
No regrets.
Learn from past experiences, mistakes, problems, failures.
Do your best.