Why I hate Internet relationships, and why everyone else sho

[SpikeOtacon]

Yes, another fun relationship rant by Spike. Let's begin.

One day, Spike meets a girl. Said girl lives in state above where Spike lives. Spike and said girl start to fall in love. Both confess to each other, and then things start to go downhill. After Spike brings it up with said girl, girl admits to Spike the same thing. Much joy. Spike asks girl for an internet relationship, but she declines on account that her last few internet relationships sucked, and caused her a great deal of pain. Spike understands, but shortly afterwords, a small 'relationship' is formed. Girl would call Spike by nicknames never used prior to the admitting, Girl would ask Spike to give her an IM when I got done with work, ect... Spike asked for her #, but she declined, saying that it would be harder on her (since we are distanced) if we were to talk on the phone. Spike gets a little odd feeling. Soon, said girl's away messages and profile on AIM hint at another person. Spike brings it up, and she says that she 'might' like this guy that she was going to see up in the state above her for a vacation. Spike asks if this means that we were over, and she said no, and for me not to worry about it. Spike does, however, and when she returns from said vacation, her profile is even more hinting at someone else.

I have not brought it up with her, but it's really starting to un-nerve me. I'm sure she might end up giving me the 'don't worry about it' thing, but I really want some answers from her. I've liked her for quite some time, and I don't want to have to leave her or lose her. I'm not sure what to do.

The reason why I hate internet relationships and so should everyone else: Confusion and uncertainty. This has been another relationship rant by Spike. Now pardon me while I go and write.

[digigram]

Internet relationships are dirt.. nothing more than a fantasy/infatuation.....

you should learn from this and find a physical being.

[ABDUR101]

Internet relations rarely ever work, and if one person isn't willing to commit themself to it, despite whatever pain there may be, it's not going to work.

So you're in a kind of relationship on the internet, but she won't talk to you on the phone? And she has interests in another guy a state above her?

Lets look past the "I don't want to lose her" feeling and realise that she was never there to begin with. She isn't commited to you, if she was, there would be no hints of anyone in her profile except about you.

I say put her on ignore and stay away from internet/distance relationships unless you can find someone who isn't dramatic and ambigious on how things are going. A distance relationship is uncertain enough without someone being ambigious and shady. You need to have full trust in each other and not see "hints" of other people, and when she comes out and says "there might be" it means there is.

[GothicAngel]

Abdur is right, leave her be, and try to get past it. For the sake of your sanity.

[DruidMettool]

The girl i'm supposedly in a net-relationship with can't make up her mind whether she loves me or not. I think she's just playing some kind of practical joke in order to make every man she meets as miserable as all hell.

[navci]

Abdur is right as always.
Internet relationships (hell, even friendships) take a lot of commitment. The problem lies in the girl herself, it seems to me like she is a jerk.. er, female version of a jerk, anyway.

I don't like them jerks.
Take Abdur's advice, don't stick around those who like to fuck with your feelings or put you in "backup".

[Link00seven]

I've never been a fan of internet relationships. Doenst sound like anything good ever comes of them.

[Sef]

Hmmm, sucks to be you Spike. Seriously.

Well, as most have said above, just let her be and leave.

Maybe you can still be friends, although that would probably hurt as much. It sounds to me like she expressed her feelings and then backed out. That doesn't sound like relationship material to me. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

I'd say, just hang around chat normally and just see what happens. If her profile gets any worse just leave. Block and be done.(If you can. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif)

[Ness]

You're preachinbg to the choir.

[DruidMettool]

On 2004-07-27 18:21, navinator wrote:
Abdur is right as always.
Internet relationships (hell, even friendships) take a lot of commitment. The problem lies in the girl herself, it seems to me like she is a jerk.. er, female version of a jerk, anyway.



The female version of a jerk is more commonly known as a Bitch.

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-07-28 05:30, DruidMettool wrote:


On 2004-07-27 18:21, navinator wrote:
Abdur is right as always.
Internet relationships (hell, even friendships) take a lot of commitment. The problem lies in the girl herself, it seems to me like she is a jerk.. er, female version of a jerk, anyway.



The female version of a jerk is more commonly known as a Bitch.



Nah, navi didnt mean that word, navi meant "Jerk" for said girl wasnt treating spike bad, but she wasnt treating him good either. A bitch, is just bad from the beginning to the end.

The fact that she doesnt want to share phone numbers is the ultimate sign that it wont go anywhere. Just because you have said number doesnt mean youll be calling every single minute. But it is the "gesture" of trust that is accomplished by the exchange of phone numbers. It is a trait of at least a trusting friendly relationship.

Sorry, she just didnt trust you enough, but was trying to be nice and not be blunt about it. Like navi said, she is a jerk.

[Armok]

Internet relationships? Why bother, not to be cold or anything but without visual and phyiscal personal contact with a person there really isnt much chance for me at least to build up any kind of feelings towards them.

[navci]

On 2004-07-28 08:16, Armok wrote:
Internet relationships?


The way I see it is like this. I just recently conversed with a girl who has a pretty good relationship right now. She said, the thing about internet is, unlike real life meetings where you look at the person's appearance and all those pretentious things first before you even bother to further into knowing the person. On the net, suddenly you cut through all those shit and get straight into who that person really is. (most of the time, anyway) I think this is why sometimes you feel alone in life and no one around you understands you, then you meet someone online who you can really related to and feels like you can understand each other.

Take me for an example, no one in real life ever wanna get to know me (I don't really know why, maybe crappy social skills?) but it seems like net-people usually find me likable. You can't really blame me when I like to like my internet friends better than people I meet IRL. I know, it prolly adds to a vicious cycle, but we are only human, we always dream about the better dreams and hope it might work out for us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

[Link00seven]

The only thing I like about internet relationships is that you can find people and start talking to them based on interest instead of physical appearence. If you goto a meeting place in real life, say a mall, usually what brings two people together to talk is physical attraction first, then as they talk they find out interest, to where on an internet level, you look for interest first then physical appearence.

The bad thing about internet relationships has already been said, distance between the two parties, and the uncertainty of what may be going on due to lack of communication and distance.

[tai_EX]

On 2004-07-27 17:25, SpikeOtacon wrote:
Yes, another fun relationship rant by Spike. Let's begin.

One day, Spike meets a girl. Said girl lives in state above where Spike lives. Spike and said girl start to fall in love. Both confess to each other, and then things start to go downhill. After Spike brings it up with said girl, girl admits to Spike the same thing. Much joy. Spike asks girl for an internet relationship, but she declines on account that her last few internet relationships sucked, and caused her a great deal of pain. Spike understands, but shortly afterwords, a small 'relationship' is formed. Girl would call Spike by nicknames never used prior to the admitting, Girl would ask Spike to give her an IM when I got done with work, ect... Spike asked for her #, but she declined, saying that it would be harder on her (since we are distanced) if we were to talk on the phone. Spike gets a little odd feeling. Soon, said girl's away messages and profile on AIM hint at another person. Spike brings it up, and she says that she 'might' like this guy that she was going to see up in the state above her for a vacation. Spike asks if this means that we were over, and she said no, and for me not to worry about it. Spike does, however, and when she returns from said vacation, her profile is even more hinting at someone else.

I have not brought it up with her, but it's really starting to un-nerve me. I'm sure she might end up giving me the 'don't worry about it' thing, but I really want some answers from her. I've liked her for quite some time, and I don't want to have to leave her or lose her. I'm not sure what to do.

The reason why I hate internet relationships and so should everyone else: Confusion and uncertainty. This has been another relationship rant by Spike. Now pardon me while I go and write.



http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif Tai is sorry for Spike, You should try just going out into the world to find a girlfriend, the girl might like it better if you show a bit of courage!

[SpikeOtacon]

As Navi and Link00seven mentioned, I went for the internet relationship because I wanted to find someone who would like me for who I am, and I wanted to find someone for the same reason. Looks tend to get in the way of judgement. (Although i'm like, dead sexy anyways. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif) I knew of the risks involved, and believed that it was worth it. Then I get this crap. *shrugs*

Now Tai, i'd love to go out and get a real girlfriend, but there are things that complicate that. I'll sum it up by saying this: 9 times out of 10 i'm told that i'm more like a brother than a boyfriend type. This = no girlfriend for spikey.

[navci]

Spike: To-ta-li.

[Armok]

Suppose put it that way its ok. In real life ppl find my very abrasive and rude upon first meeting. Although I'm brillaintly funny when drunk. I'm definatly not a 'more of a friend person' cos I can be a total arse. Its my obcession with computer games that fucks me over every time. Dam it.

[LollipopLolita]

internet relationships don't work? but i've been in love with abdur for so long now.

[navci]

On 2004-07-28 12:21, LollipopLolita wrote:
internet relationships don't work? but i've been in love with abdur for so long now.


If this was a joke:
Well, you are also having evil mutant babies with Ian. So. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

If this isn't a joke:
Well, er, see?

[Sagasu]

On 2004-07-28 09:32, navinator wrote:


On 2004-07-28 08:16, Armok wrote:
Internet relationships?


The way I see it is like this. I just recently conversed with a girl who has a pretty good relationship right now. She said, the thing about internet is, unlike real life meetings where you look at the person's appearance and all those pretentious things first before you even bother to further into knowing the person. On the net, suddenly you cut through all those shit and get straight into who that person really is. (most of the time, anyway) I think this is why sometimes you feel alone in life and no one around you understands you, then you meet someone online who you can really related to and feels like you can understand each other.

Take me for an example, no one in real life ever wanna get to know me (I don't really know why, maybe crappy social skills?) but it seems like net-people usually find me likable. You can't really blame me when I like to like my internet friends better than people I meet IRL. I know, it prolly adds to a vicious cycle, but we are only human, we always dream about the better dreams and hope it might work out for us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif



Heh..

So true. Internet relationships are just like the ones down on earth, you hardly ever mee tthe right person. As you have said navi, I find myself cutting to the chase on many online converstations, while my words offline are often softer, and more sensitive. I basically look at it this wat, since I am not the type of person that will make comittments, since I am human(damn that word..) I cannot ensure that I will keep my promises. So I don't make any, same thing goes for my relationships, for one, I will never lie to anyone.

So I keep my offline and online lives seperate, since I am one and the same yet two different people at the same time.

[Tycho]

I'll agree with Link and navi (Zelda OoT? O_o;): at least online you'll get to meet people the way they are.

So I think online is better to meet people; but, the actual relationship should be irl.

[Scrub]

These things CAN work out. I've been in one for the past 6 months, and went to meet her about a month ago. No matter how much I loved her on the internet, I loved her more in real life. Just because most people's internet relationships fail doesn't mean that yours will. Think of mine! Mine is definitely 'Teh r0><0rz.'

[navci]

On 2004-07-28 12:57, Tycho wrote:
I'll agree with Link and navi (Zelda OoT? O_o;):


You are sooooo getting navinated for this. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

[ABDUR101]

On 2004-07-28 12:21, LollipopLolita wrote:
internet relationships don't work? but i've been in love with abdur for so long now.


Quiet you infatuated freak, you'll enrage the masses, and then, we get to ban people.

[Sagasu]

On 2004-07-28 17:36, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2004-07-28 12:21, LollipopLolita wrote:
internet relationships don't work? but i've been in love with abdur for so long now.


Quiet you infatuated freak, you'll enrage the masses, and then, we get to ban people.



Abdur is spamming http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

And its not the fact that its a internet relationship thats hurt you, its your possesive nature.

When you become close to someone does that mean they cannot love/come close to others as well? Or ar you clinging to them as if they are your property?

We cannot help but what we feel, so moping about how someone you like also likes someone else besides you is really irritating.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sagasu on 2004-07-28 17:42 ]</font>

[navci]

On 2004-07-28 17:41, Sagasu wrote:
And its not the fact that its a internet relationship thats hurt you, its your possesive nature.


The demon in all of us!!!
And yes, it is true! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Sagasu]

On 2004-07-28 18:00, navinator wrote:


On 2004-07-28 17:41, Sagasu wrote:
And its not the fact that its a internet relationship thats hurt you, its your possesive nature.


The demon in all of us!!!
And yes, it is true! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif



Not all of us..

My dad and step mom live happily together in an open relationship. But they're pretty unique people http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

I too tend to be somewhat possesive, though never over people. I was never taught, there is someone out there just for you http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sagasu on 2004-07-28 18:13 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

On 2004-07-28 17:41, Sagasu wrote:
Abdur is spamming http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Would'nt be the first time!



And yeah, both people have to be understanding, forthwith, and trusting of each other. Being possessive is one thing that can really ruin a relationship, but then one person should'nt be saying "well there might be another person", or be unsure of the current distanced relationship either. Trust is a double-door.

Gotta know when something isn't going to work, gotta know when some people aren't worth the time you spend double guessing their actions, gotta realise that sometimes solitude is the best option for the time being.

Come on spike, enjoy your solitude with me!

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2004-07-28 18:14, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2004-07-28 17:41, Sagasu wrote:
Abdur is spamming http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Would'nt be the first time!



And yeah, both people have to be understanding, forthwith, and trusting of each other. Being possessive is one thing that can really ruin a relationship, but then one person should'nt be saying "well there might be another person", or be unsure of the current distanced relationship either. Trust is a double-door.

Gotta know when something isn't going to work, gotta know when some people aren't worth the time you spend double guessing their actions, gotta realise that sometimes solitude is the best option for the time being.

Come on spike, enjoy your solitude with me!



Alright, just tell me when and where. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

But then...it wouldn't be complete solitude, but still...

[Sef]

On 2004-07-28 18:46, SpikeOtacon wrote:


On 2004-07-28 18:14, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2004-07-28 17:41, Sagasu wrote:
Abdur is spamming http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Would'nt be the first time!



And yeah, both people have to be understanding, forthwith, and trusting of each other. Being possessive is one thing that can really ruin a relationship, but then one person should'nt be saying "well there might be another person", or be unsure of the current distanced relationship either. Trust is a double-door.

Gotta know when something isn't going to work, gotta know when some people aren't worth the time you spend double guessing their actions, gotta realise that sometimes solitude is the best option for the time being.

Come on spike, enjoy your solitude with me!



Alright, just tell me when and where. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

But then...it wouldn't be complete solitude, but still...



Sigh, can I join you guys? More "solitude"!

I just need a place to hang. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

[navci]

On 2004-07-28 18:12, Sagasu wrote:
Not all of us..

My dad and step mom live happily together in an open relationship. But they're pretty unique people http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

I too tend to be somewhat possesive, though never over people. I was never taught, there is someone out there just for you http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif


Fine. Most of us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif
As human beings, I dunno, a lot of us are just maybe a little slightly possessive like this, ... we are not perfect. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif But we could try to overcome. But the demon still sleeps inside us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

I need to start to make sense. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[ABDUR101]

On 2004-07-28 19:23, Sef wrote:
Sigh, can I join you guys? More "solitude"!

I just need a place to hang. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif


uhhh...sure...the more the better?

I have just the place for you to hang, in a sling!

*doesn't bother to continue the rest of the post in accordance with the rules stating "Forum for users of all ages" and discontinues posting in thread*

*slips number and leaves*

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2004-07-28 20:22, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2004-07-28 19:23, Sef wrote:
Sigh, can I join you guys? More "solitude"!

I just need a place to hang. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif


uhhh...sure...the more the better?

I have just the place for you to hang, in a sling!

*doesn't bother to continue the rest of the post in accordance with the rules stating "Forum for users of all ages" and discontinues posting in thread*

*slips number and leaves*



w00t. I'll be sure to call this. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Sagasu]

On 2004-07-28 20:17, navinator wrote:


On 2004-07-28 18:12, Sagasu wrote:
Not all of us..

My dad and step mom live happily together in an open relationship. But they're pretty unique people http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_yes.gif

I too tend to be somewhat possesive, though never over people. I was never taught, there is someone out there just for you http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif


Fine. Most of us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif
As human beings, I dunno, a lot of us are just maybe a little slightly possessive like this, ... we are not perfect. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif But we could try to overcome. But the demon still sleeps inside us. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

I need to start to make sense. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif



You make sense,

And its true. Not even just in the alpha male sense, it runs deep, very deep in deed.

yes, sleep is good http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif