dude3282
Aug 3, 2004, 04:17 AM
Fair warning: it's late, and I may write some insanely strange stuff. But right now, my life is strange, so I guess I'll share it.
I just returned from an emotional family vacation. It was supposed to be a happy one; we were going to see some extended family that we hadn't seen in a while. Problem: between home and our destination was a sixteen-hour drive to Grandma's house, followed by six hours to a family reunion on my Mom's side, and a fifteen-hour return. All this in a tightly packed minivan, and our first trip since the arrival of my baby brother. So, it was interesting dealing with a screaming baby on the way up. However, while at Grandma's, Dad gets another one of his killer migraines. It gets really bad this time, bad enough to where he goes to the hospital. They did a CAT scan and a spinal tap, both came back normal. So Dad came home, still feeling rather crappy, but we had to drive down to our reunion. Mom had to do it by herself (and she gave me plenty of grief for not having my license yet, trust me), so we ended up taking a wrong turn and we had to make our way through the backroads of Iowa. Lots of cornfields. Lots of bug guts splattered on the windshield.
We got to the reunion okay, and it was loads of fun. I got to hang with some cool relatives, play outside and get sunburned, chill out and talk with friends that happen to live hundreds of miles away. But Dad still couldn't get around much, so he spent most of it lying down in the hotel room. Since Dad knew he couldn't drive much, if at all, we decided to stretch out the return trip over two days (Dad had done the first sixteen hours all at once, and all by himself). That worked out well, less time per day being screamed at by my baby brother is a good thing, and we found a clean Super 8 somewhere in Kentucky to stay at.
Next day, we keep driving and about three hours from home we smell something weird and pull over. Turns out our transmission's fried and leaking fluid everywhere. So, we were stranded at Wendy's for an hour waiting for a mechanic to show up, then we had to drive with the scary-looking old guy out to the garage in Pigeon Forge, 16 miles away IIRC. At the garage, they let us rent a van to get us home while they fixed our car, so we unloaded everything and reloaded it into this monstrous ugly thing. Fifteen-passenger vans aren't the prettiest things, but this one was fluorescent orange. The last leg of the drive home was a bit humorous, we took it that way at least. My little brothers had fun thinking of nicknames for the car; I think their favorite was the giant orange tic-tac. If it wasn't for a twisted sense of humor I think I would have broken down and cried on that trip.
Well, we get home and I find that I left my wallet in the hotel in Kentucky. Dad is still feeling bad. Today we had to take him back to the hospital, and that was stressful. My dad's in pain a lot, but I have not seen him in this much pain in a very long time, if ever. It was past the point where he could barely speak. Getting him from the couch to the car took a load of effort for both him and a combined effort from Mom and me. The pain got so bad that he threw up in the driveway. They had to wheel him into the hospital in a wheelchair (actually, that's happened before, sadly). And one more hospital trip later, and we still have no idea what's wrong with him. Having a cripple for a father sucks. I want my old Dad back.
Oh, and if that weren't enough, I've been an emotional mess lately as well. A week or two before we left, I told a longtime friend of mine that I had feelings for her, which took a lot out of me. Scariest thing I've done in a while. Well, turns out she felt the same way about me. But I'm not likely to ever see her again. Her family just moved to Ohio. Since they switched ISP's, she doesn't have an e-mail address, and no one in her family knows their new phone number (well, maybe her dad but he wasn't there), so all I have is a screenname, and I've never used an IM program in my life, thanks to parental concerns. Long-distance relationships suck, I know that for myself, but I felt stronger about her than anyone else I've met so far, and I can't let her go. Growing up hurts.
So, with my summer rapidly disappearing, I've got to brace myself for a difficult year at school, and I've got nothing to hold onto. My mom's as big a wreck as I am, probably worse since she's got to take care of all of us. I haven't talked to my friends much at all this summer, and the few that I contacted I also offended. I've got church, that's been my rock for a while. I just hope I can keep my head up and not let all this get me down. I'll get through it, it's just a matter of how sane I'll be when things balance out. I just wish I could get off this emotional roller coaster and rest for a while. Oh, well. That's life.
I just returned from an emotional family vacation. It was supposed to be a happy one; we were going to see some extended family that we hadn't seen in a while. Problem: between home and our destination was a sixteen-hour drive to Grandma's house, followed by six hours to a family reunion on my Mom's side, and a fifteen-hour return. All this in a tightly packed minivan, and our first trip since the arrival of my baby brother. So, it was interesting dealing with a screaming baby on the way up. However, while at Grandma's, Dad gets another one of his killer migraines. It gets really bad this time, bad enough to where he goes to the hospital. They did a CAT scan and a spinal tap, both came back normal. So Dad came home, still feeling rather crappy, but we had to drive down to our reunion. Mom had to do it by herself (and she gave me plenty of grief for not having my license yet, trust me), so we ended up taking a wrong turn and we had to make our way through the backroads of Iowa. Lots of cornfields. Lots of bug guts splattered on the windshield.
We got to the reunion okay, and it was loads of fun. I got to hang with some cool relatives, play outside and get sunburned, chill out and talk with friends that happen to live hundreds of miles away. But Dad still couldn't get around much, so he spent most of it lying down in the hotel room. Since Dad knew he couldn't drive much, if at all, we decided to stretch out the return trip over two days (Dad had done the first sixteen hours all at once, and all by himself). That worked out well, less time per day being screamed at by my baby brother is a good thing, and we found a clean Super 8 somewhere in Kentucky to stay at.
Next day, we keep driving and about three hours from home we smell something weird and pull over. Turns out our transmission's fried and leaking fluid everywhere. So, we were stranded at Wendy's for an hour waiting for a mechanic to show up, then we had to drive with the scary-looking old guy out to the garage in Pigeon Forge, 16 miles away IIRC. At the garage, they let us rent a van to get us home while they fixed our car, so we unloaded everything and reloaded it into this monstrous ugly thing. Fifteen-passenger vans aren't the prettiest things, but this one was fluorescent orange. The last leg of the drive home was a bit humorous, we took it that way at least. My little brothers had fun thinking of nicknames for the car; I think their favorite was the giant orange tic-tac. If it wasn't for a twisted sense of humor I think I would have broken down and cried on that trip.
Well, we get home and I find that I left my wallet in the hotel in Kentucky. Dad is still feeling bad. Today we had to take him back to the hospital, and that was stressful. My dad's in pain a lot, but I have not seen him in this much pain in a very long time, if ever. It was past the point where he could barely speak. Getting him from the couch to the car took a load of effort for both him and a combined effort from Mom and me. The pain got so bad that he threw up in the driveway. They had to wheel him into the hospital in a wheelchair (actually, that's happened before, sadly). And one more hospital trip later, and we still have no idea what's wrong with him. Having a cripple for a father sucks. I want my old Dad back.
Oh, and if that weren't enough, I've been an emotional mess lately as well. A week or two before we left, I told a longtime friend of mine that I had feelings for her, which took a lot out of me. Scariest thing I've done in a while. Well, turns out she felt the same way about me. But I'm not likely to ever see her again. Her family just moved to Ohio. Since they switched ISP's, she doesn't have an e-mail address, and no one in her family knows their new phone number (well, maybe her dad but he wasn't there), so all I have is a screenname, and I've never used an IM program in my life, thanks to parental concerns. Long-distance relationships suck, I know that for myself, but I felt stronger about her than anyone else I've met so far, and I can't let her go. Growing up hurts.
So, with my summer rapidly disappearing, I've got to brace myself for a difficult year at school, and I've got nothing to hold onto. My mom's as big a wreck as I am, probably worse since she's got to take care of all of us. I haven't talked to my friends much at all this summer, and the few that I contacted I also offended. I've got church, that's been my rock for a while. I just hope I can keep my head up and not let all this get me down. I'll get through it, it's just a matter of how sane I'll be when things balance out. I just wish I could get off this emotional roller coaster and rest for a while. Oh, well. That's life.