Second Poem by Scejntjynahl

[Scejntjynahl]

WORDS


Welcome to my loneliness

Enter if you wish

Be witness to the internall mess

That I am left with.


The depravity of confusion

Which gnaws at my entrails

Which leaves my soul open to the intrusion

"You are nothing, you will fail"


Befallen One take pity on me

Use your double edged swords

Set my twisted soul free

Let me hear your words!


I am mute and blind

Yet melodious sounding chords

Strike through my mind

My body moves on its own accord


I can hear?

I am here

with fear.


Salvation, an unknown doorway

Where my destiny may lay

Upon a future day

Where your words will not decay!


Note: Scejntjynahl once in a twinkle in time writes things that are unknown to her, and does not remember when and where they come from.

[Hrith]

me likes http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif nice rimes, they bear meaning, tis well done.

The words you chose also help carry the atmosphere of teh poemz0rz.

It's got a well done structure, with a soft rhythm that becomes more dramatic near the end and then goes down again.

It feels liks Sen's "Words" lol but I doubt this is your "second poem" http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Nisshoku]

The poem is very well done as it allows us to peer into Sen's mind, and shows us that even a Hunter like her has doubts about herself, and even the road that lies ahead...

I excpect many more writings from such a soulful warrior.

[Firocket1690]

Xylion says:
depression is a weird inspiration
Xylion says:
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[-Geshtar-]

Golden Jintei. adios alma perdida. says:
Nice Poem Sen. the end.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: -Geshtar- on 2004-09-02 10:57 ]</font>

[Sagasu]

Meh,

If you could write something with just as deep of a meaning, except it not being totally personal, then I would be impressed.

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-09-02 14:10, Sagasu wrote:
Meh,

If you could write something with just as deep of a meaning, except it not being totally personal, then I would be impressed.



So in other words, you didnt like it. Could have been easier just to say that, no?

[Sagasu]

On 2004-09-02 14:31, Scejntjynahl wrote:


On 2004-09-02 14:10, Sagasu wrote:
Meh,

If you could write something with just as deep of a meaning, except it not being totally personal, then I would be impressed.



So in other words, you didnt like it. Could have been easier just to say that, no?



Its useless to say you don't like it, and then not tell someone why you don't.

Constructive.

[Tycho]

Jeebus you're good. My active english isn't as good, by far.
I tried to reread it again a few times, bit it still made little sense to me. It's full of contradictions. o:

Gah. I'm too stoopid I guess. It's beautifull. It's better than I am, I'm less intelligent than your poem is. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

lol. ;-;

[navci]

On 2004-09-02 16:52, Sagasu wrote:

Its useless to say you don't like it, and then not tell someone why you don't.

Constructive.



Ya. Your comment is hardly constructive. YOu didn't say why exactly you disliked it. It was more a "Meh I can do better" comment. That is neither constructive or helpful.

And I thought you stopped being an ass?
*raises an eyebrow*

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-09-02 16:52, Sagasu wrote:


On 2004-09-02 14:31, Scejntjynahl wrote:


On 2004-09-02 14:10, Sagasu wrote:
Meh,

If you could write something with just as deep of a meaning, except it not being totally personal, then I would be impressed.



So in other words, you didnt like it. Could have been easier just to say that, no?



Its useless to say you don't like it, and then not tell someone why you don't.

Constructive.



My goodness, all I meant was that instead of starting it of with "Meh" you could have said, "I dont like it" and state your personal reasons for it. I don't know, but it would have sounded a little more civil. Your opionon is valued, and I seem to understand what you were getting at. But that "Meh" just stuck out like a sore thumb.

From what I understood from your earlier post is that you would prefer a poem that has something to do other than personal feelings and have a level of intensity to strike your attention? Or did you imply something else?

[Firocket1690]

Xylion: *goes back to take a look*
Xylion: o.o (http://www.angelfire.com/psy/xylion8701/sig/07.JPG)
Xylion: hes just upset most of it has been personal, and/or relating to self issues

[Sayara]

Use your double edged swords


Set my twisted soul free


Let me hear your words!

This right here stirred me the most Sen. I like this poem alot!