Kupi
Sep 28, 2004, 05:21 PM
I have been Internet-enabled for a relatively large percentage of my lifespan. I began with Prodigy-- the early days of Prodigy, when they didn't let you chat with anyone; all you could do was download some educational "choose your own adventure" type games and mad-libs-- and have surfed my way through all the phases you could expect someone growing up on the Internet to. I've been a lurker for quite some time now, and I have an observation to make.
Not once in my ten-plus years on the Internet have I ever seen someone change their mind when someone was rude to them.
I'm not going to bring up specific issues or people, because I've seen it happen in discussions on every issue and I'm quite guilty of it myself. However, the fact still stands that when you're rude to someone, when you openly insult them for their views, they cease to listen to you. It doesn't matter who starts the insults or who's right and who's wrong. At the first insult, the debate is, for all intents and purposes, over. Sarcasm is a big part of this phenomenon, I find. The sarcastic tone tells the person receiving it that their views are simply not even worth considering and that the opposing side has stopped listening to them. So why bother trying to be open-minded? They're not going to get through to the other person anyway. The first time someone drops a sarcastic tone, the dialogue ends and an irreconcilable argument begins. Nobody's mind gets changed and everyone, participant and observer, feels worse off for it.
The opposite is true, too. Recently an editor for my school newspaper wrote a somewhat inflammatory article on a hot-button issue. He offended a lot of people-- the entire letters section of the next few issues were dedicated to people telling him... dang, I nearly infringed upon my "no specifics" rule there. Suffice to say that he took a lot of the typical labels that people expressing his particular viewpoint usually take. But next week, in his next editorial, he said that he'd actually changed his mind on the issue. Why? It wasn't because of the letters that went out of their way to insult him; it was because of, in his own words, "several rational and calm letters" that spelled out what was wrong with his reasoning without attacking him.
Don't take what I'm saying the wrong way, though. I'm not attacking rants; rants typically aren't places of discussion. Rants are articles for letting off steam, not making a point, and most people try not to name names while ranting. So far as rants are concerned, I find cursing to be... well, not acceptable, but at least understandable. I recently attended a lecture where the professor told us that they (the scientific "they") have found a strong emotional attachment between the "sh", "t", "f", and "ck" sounds and anger. When you're angry, those sounds are what spring to mind. So, when people rant, it's to express anger, and anger tends to express itself with words made of those sounds. In a rant, swearing happens, and it's usually not targeted at anyone.
It's when those words make it into an otherwise civilized discussion that I have a problem with it, because nobody is going to change their mind. Nobody's going to take a different course of action because someone called their idea "f***ing stupid". So my question is this: why can't people exercise some self-control when trying to convince someone of a point? I don't see any reason to defeat yourself by steeling the other side of the issue in their beliefs by insulting them.
Not once in my ten-plus years on the Internet have I ever seen someone change their mind when someone was rude to them.
I'm not going to bring up specific issues or people, because I've seen it happen in discussions on every issue and I'm quite guilty of it myself. However, the fact still stands that when you're rude to someone, when you openly insult them for their views, they cease to listen to you. It doesn't matter who starts the insults or who's right and who's wrong. At the first insult, the debate is, for all intents and purposes, over. Sarcasm is a big part of this phenomenon, I find. The sarcastic tone tells the person receiving it that their views are simply not even worth considering and that the opposing side has stopped listening to them. So why bother trying to be open-minded? They're not going to get through to the other person anyway. The first time someone drops a sarcastic tone, the dialogue ends and an irreconcilable argument begins. Nobody's mind gets changed and everyone, participant and observer, feels worse off for it.
The opposite is true, too. Recently an editor for my school newspaper wrote a somewhat inflammatory article on a hot-button issue. He offended a lot of people-- the entire letters section of the next few issues were dedicated to people telling him... dang, I nearly infringed upon my "no specifics" rule there. Suffice to say that he took a lot of the typical labels that people expressing his particular viewpoint usually take. But next week, in his next editorial, he said that he'd actually changed his mind on the issue. Why? It wasn't because of the letters that went out of their way to insult him; it was because of, in his own words, "several rational and calm letters" that spelled out what was wrong with his reasoning without attacking him.
Don't take what I'm saying the wrong way, though. I'm not attacking rants; rants typically aren't places of discussion. Rants are articles for letting off steam, not making a point, and most people try not to name names while ranting. So far as rants are concerned, I find cursing to be... well, not acceptable, but at least understandable. I recently attended a lecture where the professor told us that they (the scientific "they") have found a strong emotional attachment between the "sh", "t", "f", and "ck" sounds and anger. When you're angry, those sounds are what spring to mind. So, when people rant, it's to express anger, and anger tends to express itself with words made of those sounds. In a rant, swearing happens, and it's usually not targeted at anyone.
It's when those words make it into an otherwise civilized discussion that I have a problem with it, because nobody is going to change their mind. Nobody's going to take a different course of action because someone called their idea "f***ing stupid". So my question is this: why can't people exercise some self-control when trying to convince someone of a point? I don't see any reason to defeat yourself by steeling the other side of the issue in their beliefs by insulting them.