Ness
May 18, 2005, 09:07 PM
I'm writing a book and just scrapped my old prologue. I want to show you guys a rough draft of my new one:
Prologue: Watching the Stars go out
Earth Calendar Year: 2445 CE
The cold night chilled the two of them. Not only were they stuck on an unfamiliar planet waiting for a rescue crew but they had to deal with an almost unbearable cold as well. Neither of them was expecting to end up their current situation, and neither of them knew when they would get out of it. Despite their current condition, they were happy. They completed their mission, escaped from a ship with an activated self-destruct sequence, and landed on a habitable planet with relatively few injures; but most importantly, they still had each other. The two of them looked at each other and started smiling. The first one was an Arkan male around 6.5 feet tall with short black hair and light brown eyes. He was wearing a standard Psion uniform, which was a light blue, loose fitting one-piece suit with several pockets and a belt equipped with a couple of pouches for storing combat items. He wore a thick blue coat over his uniform to keep warm. To his left were his two swords: Hope?s Fire and Prisma-Color. To his right?and in his arm?was the second person. She was a Prototype with long red hair and emerald eyes. She was about 5.5 feet tall and also wore a blue uniform. Hers, however, was tighter and made of a more flexible material that made evasive maneuvering much easier. She was not wearing a coat, but she did not mind because it gave her an excuse to get close to the man next to her.
They looked up at a sky with two moons and a plethora of stars. The woman turned to the man and said, "You know, Rodo, the stars in the sky seem to be flickering."
"That is because those 'stars' are actually spaceships and they are flickering because they are being destroyed by other ships," he replied.
"Rodo, why do you always have to kill the magic with a factual explanation?"
"All right, Karissa, how about this: flickering stars are a sign of fortune and good will. An old Arkan legend tells of a couple that sat together and watched stars that flickered just like these. The flickering stars formed a pattern that, when translated into the signaling code used at that time, declared the love of the couple everlasting and true."
"Awww, that was sweet."
"Thanks, I made it up."
"Regardless, it was a lovely story."
She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him.
"Well at least you two lovebirds made it out alive," said a male voice.
Rodo and Karissa quickly withdrew from each other, blushing.
"It?s good to know you are alive, Zando," said Karissa. "What about the others, have you heard from them?"
"Yes," Zando replied. "But they are too far away for us to reach and Ness seemed to be pretty upset over something."
"About what?"
"No idea, but I could hear him crying like a newborn in the background."
"Awww..."
"However, I did manage to find out the status of our targets."
"Go on," said Rodo.
"Noir: Dead, Etna: Dead, Lotus: Dead, Kuberr: Presumed Dead. The remaining Way of Noir starships are currently being wiped out by the mortals."
"Presumed?"
"No evidence of his escape has been found so his survival is improbable, but no traces of him have been found so we cannot rule out the possibility."
"Kuberr was a sick and twisted man. Even though he was sent to this universe as punishment he still managed to cause trouble for us. Even with those energy-bonds on him, he still strong enough to be a formidable adversary. If he is still I alive, I hope he does not find a way to return to our universe."
"Bah, you worry too much; the chances of that happening are nearly zero."
"Well at least the head and neck of the dragon have been severed," stated Karissa.
"Now we all have to deal with are the violent convulsions of the body caused by the firing nerves!" exclaimed Rodo with odd enthusiasm.
"I'm not even going to bother," thought Karissa.
"Anyway..." said Zando. "I also received word that a ship will arrive to pick us up in about a few hours so that means we have some time to just sit around."
"Wonderful."
"What were you two doing anyway?"
"Watching the stars go out."
*****
Indeed the others were far away, about 1500 miles away. Two people—a man and a woman—sat on a rock in one of the few clearing in the planet’s dense rainforest. The male, Ness, sobbed uncontrollably and the female, Patricia, desperately tried to comfort him. Both of them were Prototypes, but one was a Psion and the other was a Mage. Ness was a Psion with short black hair and teal eyes, which were currently bloodshot from crying. Ness’s uniform was a white two piece suit with a blue stripe that diagonally crossed his torso. It was slightly tighter than Rodo’s uniform, but still too loose to hug his skin like Karissa's. His uniform also came with white gloves. His single sword, which was longer than either of Rodo's, was placed in the sheath on his back. He was only about 6 feet tall. Patricia had long brown hair and blue eyes that matched the uniform she wore. It was exactly like Karissa's, but made out of a slightly thinner material that didn't trap heat as well. Since Patricia was an ice elemental, she got hot easily.
"She gone," muttered Ness between sobs. "She's gone."
Patricia rubbed his back. "It's okay, Ness, it's okay."
"No it is not okay. I let my arrogance get in the way of protecting her, and now she is dead because of my foolishness! I am a fool, a damned fool!"
“Ness, it's not your fault!”
"Yes it is! It was because I neglected to accompany her that Kuberr was able to kill her! I hope, for his sake, that he died because if not I will make him pay!"
"Kuberr was a powerful and twisted fighter: he would have killed her whether or not you were there and he would have killed you if you were there. Aren't you glad that you at least have your life?"
"Ness at least in death I would still be with Crystal."
Patricia sighed. Comforting Ness at this point was completely useless; all she could do was wait for time to heal him. She remained silent and continued to rub his back.
*****
They waited for what seemed like forever until finally Karissa noticed a ship landing about half a mile from their current location.
"That must be the rescue vessel," she said.
"All right then, lets go!" ordered Zando.
*****
Ness and Patricia also noticed a vessel and quickly boarded it.
*****
Rodo, Karissa, Zando, Patricia, and Ness were not the only ones that escaped. Floating in space was a cylindrical escape pod identical to the ones the others escaped in, but it was heading in any particular direction. In this escape pod was the very horror that the others hoped they had killed: Kuberr. Not only was he alive, but he wasn’t in the near-death state Zando had predicted. He had a few small wounds, but they were far from life-threatening. Like Rodo and Zando, Kuberr was an Arkan. However, his eyes were blood red and glowed bright yellow around the pupils. His eyes were his distinguishing characteristic because they were not the eyes of just any demigod; they were the eyes of a phoenix. Every demigod has a certain type of energy, and this energy partially defines what they are. For example, Zando has the energy of a Lightning Fox, this means that he can absorb electrical energy and summon Lightning Foxes, but he has a natural weakness against earth magick or psi. Kuberr has the energy of a phoenix. The phoenix gives him immunity to ice and resistance to water, which fire elementals like him are usually weak against. It also strengthens any attack that is based on fire and allows him absorb fire. The phoenixes were once the ruling class of the Great Empire, but once the Great Empire collapsed, people sought to eradicate the phoenixes—all but a few brutally murdered. Kuberr is the last member of the one of last surviving families.
"Fools," said Kuberr to himself. "They were foolish to think they could kill me. They only brought me one step closer to my goal: returning to the demigod universe."
Any kind of comments are welcome.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ness on 2005-05-19 20:11 ]</font>
Prologue: Watching the Stars go out
Earth Calendar Year: 2445 CE
The cold night chilled the two of them. Not only were they stuck on an unfamiliar planet waiting for a rescue crew but they had to deal with an almost unbearable cold as well. Neither of them was expecting to end up their current situation, and neither of them knew when they would get out of it. Despite their current condition, they were happy. They completed their mission, escaped from a ship with an activated self-destruct sequence, and landed on a habitable planet with relatively few injures; but most importantly, they still had each other. The two of them looked at each other and started smiling. The first one was an Arkan male around 6.5 feet tall with short black hair and light brown eyes. He was wearing a standard Psion uniform, which was a light blue, loose fitting one-piece suit with several pockets and a belt equipped with a couple of pouches for storing combat items. He wore a thick blue coat over his uniform to keep warm. To his left were his two swords: Hope?s Fire and Prisma-Color. To his right?and in his arm?was the second person. She was a Prototype with long red hair and emerald eyes. She was about 5.5 feet tall and also wore a blue uniform. Hers, however, was tighter and made of a more flexible material that made evasive maneuvering much easier. She was not wearing a coat, but she did not mind because it gave her an excuse to get close to the man next to her.
They looked up at a sky with two moons and a plethora of stars. The woman turned to the man and said, "You know, Rodo, the stars in the sky seem to be flickering."
"That is because those 'stars' are actually spaceships and they are flickering because they are being destroyed by other ships," he replied.
"Rodo, why do you always have to kill the magic with a factual explanation?"
"All right, Karissa, how about this: flickering stars are a sign of fortune and good will. An old Arkan legend tells of a couple that sat together and watched stars that flickered just like these. The flickering stars formed a pattern that, when translated into the signaling code used at that time, declared the love of the couple everlasting and true."
"Awww, that was sweet."
"Thanks, I made it up."
"Regardless, it was a lovely story."
She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him.
"Well at least you two lovebirds made it out alive," said a male voice.
Rodo and Karissa quickly withdrew from each other, blushing.
"It?s good to know you are alive, Zando," said Karissa. "What about the others, have you heard from them?"
"Yes," Zando replied. "But they are too far away for us to reach and Ness seemed to be pretty upset over something."
"About what?"
"No idea, but I could hear him crying like a newborn in the background."
"Awww..."
"However, I did manage to find out the status of our targets."
"Go on," said Rodo.
"Noir: Dead, Etna: Dead, Lotus: Dead, Kuberr: Presumed Dead. The remaining Way of Noir starships are currently being wiped out by the mortals."
"Presumed?"
"No evidence of his escape has been found so his survival is improbable, but no traces of him have been found so we cannot rule out the possibility."
"Kuberr was a sick and twisted man. Even though he was sent to this universe as punishment he still managed to cause trouble for us. Even with those energy-bonds on him, he still strong enough to be a formidable adversary. If he is still I alive, I hope he does not find a way to return to our universe."
"Bah, you worry too much; the chances of that happening are nearly zero."
"Well at least the head and neck of the dragon have been severed," stated Karissa.
"Now we all have to deal with are the violent convulsions of the body caused by the firing nerves!" exclaimed Rodo with odd enthusiasm.
"I'm not even going to bother," thought Karissa.
"Anyway..." said Zando. "I also received word that a ship will arrive to pick us up in about a few hours so that means we have some time to just sit around."
"Wonderful."
"What were you two doing anyway?"
"Watching the stars go out."
*****
Indeed the others were far away, about 1500 miles away. Two people—a man and a woman—sat on a rock in one of the few clearing in the planet’s dense rainforest. The male, Ness, sobbed uncontrollably and the female, Patricia, desperately tried to comfort him. Both of them were Prototypes, but one was a Psion and the other was a Mage. Ness was a Psion with short black hair and teal eyes, which were currently bloodshot from crying. Ness’s uniform was a white two piece suit with a blue stripe that diagonally crossed his torso. It was slightly tighter than Rodo’s uniform, but still too loose to hug his skin like Karissa's. His uniform also came with white gloves. His single sword, which was longer than either of Rodo's, was placed in the sheath on his back. He was only about 6 feet tall. Patricia had long brown hair and blue eyes that matched the uniform she wore. It was exactly like Karissa's, but made out of a slightly thinner material that didn't trap heat as well. Since Patricia was an ice elemental, she got hot easily.
"She gone," muttered Ness between sobs. "She's gone."
Patricia rubbed his back. "It's okay, Ness, it's okay."
"No it is not okay. I let my arrogance get in the way of protecting her, and now she is dead because of my foolishness! I am a fool, a damned fool!"
“Ness, it's not your fault!”
"Yes it is! It was because I neglected to accompany her that Kuberr was able to kill her! I hope, for his sake, that he died because if not I will make him pay!"
"Kuberr was a powerful and twisted fighter: he would have killed her whether or not you were there and he would have killed you if you were there. Aren't you glad that you at least have your life?"
"Ness at least in death I would still be with Crystal."
Patricia sighed. Comforting Ness at this point was completely useless; all she could do was wait for time to heal him. She remained silent and continued to rub his back.
*****
They waited for what seemed like forever until finally Karissa noticed a ship landing about half a mile from their current location.
"That must be the rescue vessel," she said.
"All right then, lets go!" ordered Zando.
*****
Ness and Patricia also noticed a vessel and quickly boarded it.
*****
Rodo, Karissa, Zando, Patricia, and Ness were not the only ones that escaped. Floating in space was a cylindrical escape pod identical to the ones the others escaped in, but it was heading in any particular direction. In this escape pod was the very horror that the others hoped they had killed: Kuberr. Not only was he alive, but he wasn’t in the near-death state Zando had predicted. He had a few small wounds, but they were far from life-threatening. Like Rodo and Zando, Kuberr was an Arkan. However, his eyes were blood red and glowed bright yellow around the pupils. His eyes were his distinguishing characteristic because they were not the eyes of just any demigod; they were the eyes of a phoenix. Every demigod has a certain type of energy, and this energy partially defines what they are. For example, Zando has the energy of a Lightning Fox, this means that he can absorb electrical energy and summon Lightning Foxes, but he has a natural weakness against earth magick or psi. Kuberr has the energy of a phoenix. The phoenix gives him immunity to ice and resistance to water, which fire elementals like him are usually weak against. It also strengthens any attack that is based on fire and allows him absorb fire. The phoenixes were once the ruling class of the Great Empire, but once the Great Empire collapsed, people sought to eradicate the phoenixes—all but a few brutally murdered. Kuberr is the last member of the one of last surviving families.
"Fools," said Kuberr to himself. "They were foolish to think they could kill me. They only brought me one step closer to my goal: returning to the demigod universe."
Any kind of comments are welcome.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ness on 2005-05-19 20:11 ]</font>