trypticon
Jun 3, 2005, 12:44 AM
The other day I ate out again. I often do now. Desperate for anything, I gladly accept what is offered. The dinner was tasty, spicy chicken sandwhich, texas toothpicks, and a medium squirt to drink. Good stuff, but I ate it without tasting it.
My eyes had been bothering me that day, what I had originaly thought had been allergies was turning out to be something much much more, and the pain of it was slowly seeping into my head, overcoming my senses, and slowing my reactions.
It was that feeling of the fourth again, getting closer, approaching me on an unavoidable path.
It wasn't really the fourth that I was dreading seeing. Instead, it was the man of darkness that would be accompanying her. It was no mystery that he and I didn't get along, because we worked at cross purposes. I had acted as the catalyst in the steps she took to originally depart the path of darkness, and walk once more toward her destiny. He, on the other hand, had easily been able to bait her back to that darkness from which she had previously departed. It wasn't difficult to do. She was familiar with the feeling of temptation, and had easily succumb to it when it reared it's ugly head in her life in the form of that one of darkness.
But he had taken her much further than that. He had abused her, physically and emotionally, and then deceived her in the same ways... And then he had done the unthinkable. He had married her, warding her light away completely behind his wall of black.
Once she had turned from me to accept his... coming... the bond between us had been completely severed. Or so I had thought, until my eyes were bothering me two days ago.
Rushing to leave the fast food joint where I had consumed the chow, I walked across the parking lot to the Fred Meyer department store. It was in this very store that she and I had first started talking. That was nine years ago. At the time, she was working there, and was still very young at only sixteen. I had known of her before she got employed there though, had seen her throughout the city, and walking through the highschool halls that I had graduated from the year before we began to really speak.
When I first saw her I was eightteen. I had remembered her very well. Remembered the look, remembered the burst of sunlight, remembered the ice-like eyes. She was the fourth that would be found and contacted. She was also the one who would accept the explanation at face value. But there was a large problem with her from the first moment we would end up speaking, and even prior to that, when we had first seen eachother more than a year before. Even then, she was dominated by shadows, though her light was still easily able to escape, unfortunately also revealing who she was to everybody in an obvious way.
The corrupt were quick in their eagerness to take her down. Before I had the oportunity to enter her life and give her the message I had been sent to deliver she was already long gone. But upon first speaking with her, I was happy to see that there was still hope, because it ended up that she pointed me out, and the friend that was with me that night nine years ago.
To make a long backstory short; she was freed from the dark arts and brought back to the light. But the return was brief, as she was easily tempted by the lust of men, and they were only more than tempted by her shining brightness. The light she gave off was like a beacon to the men of darkness that entered her life over, and over and over. Despite all words of caution, she was finally overcome by this one that still walks with her.
Her tasks still remain incomplete, but until she can be found apart from the influence of this man, there is little chance of her being reminded of what was left undone. Of course, there are other distractions now as well, and those will take precedence over what little I can still sence with her.
In any case, back to two nights ago. As I wrote here, I walked over to the Fred Meyer store attempting to avoid any contact with the mixture of light and dark I sensed heading toward me. For a time, I almost thought I had successfully avoided them, as I walked from the entrance to the place, through the grocery departments, past the vitamin section where I had first spoke to her all those years ago; the memories playing out before my eyes. That was almost half the store, and though my eyes were burning as if on fire, and my mind was muddled with pain, I was feeling a little better about myself. Perhaps the premonitions were incorrect this time.
Well, as I indicate here, I was only done with half the store so far. I walk to the electronics department where another entrance is located at the median of the store, and that's when I saw the child.
This was a girl, between the ages of 1 and a half to 2 years old. My heart sank as I saw that face. Even though the girl was so young, she was already the spitting image of her mother, and she was charging right for me. I stood for a brief moment in disbelief. This child running at me, her little arms outstretched, the sunburst of short blond hair flowing behind her, the eyes like chips of ice as they fixed upon me, and her little rosy lips stretching across her face in a wide smile as she squealed in delight upon seeing me.
Does this seem odd to anybody else? Remember that I have never met this child before. This is the offspring of the Fourth and that man of darkness, and somehow, the child recognized me.
But I recognized two with her as well. Though she was free to run, her parents were not far behind her, and HE had already identified who I was. I smile now that I think about it, for though I was in great pain, barely able to see, or even think because of the newfound sense of pain upon the revelation of the two and the child, he still gasped in shock at seeing me. I doubt she even recognized me though, as deep in as she was, with her hand over her head also indicating a shared sense of pain between the both of us, she simply called out to her daughter as that dark man gathered the child in protectively, his eyes glinting with hatred.
I had already turned away from the both of them, making my way back into the store to avoid the confrontation that was sure to come if I stuck around. The sense of anger from that one young man was ver evident, reverberating off of me, allowing me to get a glimpse of what was going on back there.
So how do I feel about all of this?
First off, I had known of the child from a time before it was even born. Seeing her at this time was unexpected though, as well as her personal reaction to seeing me. There should have been no sense of recognition from her in regard to my appearance. Instead, she ran from her father right to me with her arms outstretched as if to embrace me. Though this is suprising, it really bothers me, not so much for the child at all, more for her mothers safety. This man has beaten her before and she has been admitted to the emergency room a few times because of it. I'm not supposed to know about that, mind you, but with the First, Second, Third, and Fourth... well not so much with the Second really, but the First, Third, and Fourth there was ALWAYS a bond between them and I, much much more than simply emotional. I will have to consider that the daughter's excitement toward me might spark some sort of jealous thought process in that man, possibly leading to him think that baby Hannah has met me on several occassions before. That could spell another series of beatings for the Fourth, something she certainly doesn't need.
So why am I writing this here? Mostly because it's on my mind tonight. With the Fifth gladly accepting corruption for her life - something she has done fairly consistently despite my pleading for the past... what... six, seven years? - I have been given momentary leeway to mentally locate those previous four whom upon so much depends. It's mostly private, but I was here, and wanted to organize the events of the other night since I had a chance to do so for a bit.
My eyes had been bothering me that day, what I had originaly thought had been allergies was turning out to be something much much more, and the pain of it was slowly seeping into my head, overcoming my senses, and slowing my reactions.
It was that feeling of the fourth again, getting closer, approaching me on an unavoidable path.
It wasn't really the fourth that I was dreading seeing. Instead, it was the man of darkness that would be accompanying her. It was no mystery that he and I didn't get along, because we worked at cross purposes. I had acted as the catalyst in the steps she took to originally depart the path of darkness, and walk once more toward her destiny. He, on the other hand, had easily been able to bait her back to that darkness from which she had previously departed. It wasn't difficult to do. She was familiar with the feeling of temptation, and had easily succumb to it when it reared it's ugly head in her life in the form of that one of darkness.
But he had taken her much further than that. He had abused her, physically and emotionally, and then deceived her in the same ways... And then he had done the unthinkable. He had married her, warding her light away completely behind his wall of black.
Once she had turned from me to accept his... coming... the bond between us had been completely severed. Or so I had thought, until my eyes were bothering me two days ago.
Rushing to leave the fast food joint where I had consumed the chow, I walked across the parking lot to the Fred Meyer department store. It was in this very store that she and I had first started talking. That was nine years ago. At the time, she was working there, and was still very young at only sixteen. I had known of her before she got employed there though, had seen her throughout the city, and walking through the highschool halls that I had graduated from the year before we began to really speak.
When I first saw her I was eightteen. I had remembered her very well. Remembered the look, remembered the burst of sunlight, remembered the ice-like eyes. She was the fourth that would be found and contacted. She was also the one who would accept the explanation at face value. But there was a large problem with her from the first moment we would end up speaking, and even prior to that, when we had first seen eachother more than a year before. Even then, she was dominated by shadows, though her light was still easily able to escape, unfortunately also revealing who she was to everybody in an obvious way.
The corrupt were quick in their eagerness to take her down. Before I had the oportunity to enter her life and give her the message I had been sent to deliver she was already long gone. But upon first speaking with her, I was happy to see that there was still hope, because it ended up that she pointed me out, and the friend that was with me that night nine years ago.
To make a long backstory short; she was freed from the dark arts and brought back to the light. But the return was brief, as she was easily tempted by the lust of men, and they were only more than tempted by her shining brightness. The light she gave off was like a beacon to the men of darkness that entered her life over, and over and over. Despite all words of caution, she was finally overcome by this one that still walks with her.
Her tasks still remain incomplete, but until she can be found apart from the influence of this man, there is little chance of her being reminded of what was left undone. Of course, there are other distractions now as well, and those will take precedence over what little I can still sence with her.
In any case, back to two nights ago. As I wrote here, I walked over to the Fred Meyer store attempting to avoid any contact with the mixture of light and dark I sensed heading toward me. For a time, I almost thought I had successfully avoided them, as I walked from the entrance to the place, through the grocery departments, past the vitamin section where I had first spoke to her all those years ago; the memories playing out before my eyes. That was almost half the store, and though my eyes were burning as if on fire, and my mind was muddled with pain, I was feeling a little better about myself. Perhaps the premonitions were incorrect this time.
Well, as I indicate here, I was only done with half the store so far. I walk to the electronics department where another entrance is located at the median of the store, and that's when I saw the child.
This was a girl, between the ages of 1 and a half to 2 years old. My heart sank as I saw that face. Even though the girl was so young, she was already the spitting image of her mother, and she was charging right for me. I stood for a brief moment in disbelief. This child running at me, her little arms outstretched, the sunburst of short blond hair flowing behind her, the eyes like chips of ice as they fixed upon me, and her little rosy lips stretching across her face in a wide smile as she squealed in delight upon seeing me.
Does this seem odd to anybody else? Remember that I have never met this child before. This is the offspring of the Fourth and that man of darkness, and somehow, the child recognized me.
But I recognized two with her as well. Though she was free to run, her parents were not far behind her, and HE had already identified who I was. I smile now that I think about it, for though I was in great pain, barely able to see, or even think because of the newfound sense of pain upon the revelation of the two and the child, he still gasped in shock at seeing me. I doubt she even recognized me though, as deep in as she was, with her hand over her head also indicating a shared sense of pain between the both of us, she simply called out to her daughter as that dark man gathered the child in protectively, his eyes glinting with hatred.
I had already turned away from the both of them, making my way back into the store to avoid the confrontation that was sure to come if I stuck around. The sense of anger from that one young man was ver evident, reverberating off of me, allowing me to get a glimpse of what was going on back there.
So how do I feel about all of this?
First off, I had known of the child from a time before it was even born. Seeing her at this time was unexpected though, as well as her personal reaction to seeing me. There should have been no sense of recognition from her in regard to my appearance. Instead, she ran from her father right to me with her arms outstretched as if to embrace me. Though this is suprising, it really bothers me, not so much for the child at all, more for her mothers safety. This man has beaten her before and she has been admitted to the emergency room a few times because of it. I'm not supposed to know about that, mind you, but with the First, Second, Third, and Fourth... well not so much with the Second really, but the First, Third, and Fourth there was ALWAYS a bond between them and I, much much more than simply emotional. I will have to consider that the daughter's excitement toward me might spark some sort of jealous thought process in that man, possibly leading to him think that baby Hannah has met me on several occassions before. That could spell another series of beatings for the Fourth, something she certainly doesn't need.
So why am I writing this here? Mostly because it's on my mind tonight. With the Fifth gladly accepting corruption for her life - something she has done fairly consistently despite my pleading for the past... what... six, seven years? - I have been given momentary leeway to mentally locate those previous four whom upon so much depends. It's mostly private, but I was here, and wanted to organize the events of the other night since I had a chance to do so for a bit.