My poetry

[InfinityXXX]

Edit: Turned the "U" and "2" to "you" and "two"


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: InfinityXXX on 2005-06-07 22:16 ]</font>

[RoninJoku]

I think I liked the first one the most... Then the last one, then the middle... You wrote all those in a day? Neat! I could never do poetry... Much more of a visual guy...

[Solstis]

This should be moved to Fan Works. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

The first one is nice (too tired, skimmed the others), but the use of "U" and "2" instead of the proper words cheapens the experience.

Sorta like giving a man a cool, crisp Coca Cola on a swelteringly hot day, letting him drink it for a few seconds, and then proceeding to kick him in the shin.

Okay read the other two. Sadly, they're basically cliches regurgitated by your brain. I get the distinct feeling that I've read them a million times before. The first one, though, is interesting and original.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-06-07 22:01 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2005-06-07 22:03 ]</font>

[InfinityXXX]

Ya thanks, Your right, i shoulda challenged myself a bit more. After doing a bunch of poems you do start to make em cliched if you dont think that much.(I made em in Geometry. It was either that or fall asleep an get detention, lol).

Also: Good point with the U and 2, lemme go edit it

[InfinityXXX]

Like the Sun, Like the Moon

He is the sun, and I the moon, two things that can't be understood by them
He shines brightly, and I, filled with grief, shine luminous and dim
He takes the credit, he brights up their worlds, and I am looked away at noon
He is light and I am dark, Like the sun, Like the moon
I stand alone, independet yet sad and yet you admire the sorrow welded in me
I am empty,lucid, hollow and dead, yet still considered and entity
The world bows to him, he is their only one shining hope
And i on the other only find my sorrow, in it i'll soak
He moves so meerily, cheery
I linger up, each night so dreary
And his time seems longer while mine ends so soon.....
.....Like the sun, Like the moon