How to not raise your child.

[Sayara]

Today's lesson is on how not to raise your child is brought to you by Spoilism, and prissy tantrums.

Today at work, the same girl who has been giving us grief all last week *Whom i will dub Girl N* finally had a major issue of tantrums today. Here's our story...

She's hanging by the windowsills, and we told her no. She hops off, then back on again, Our director *Who's dubbed D right now* told her to get down again or time out. (5 minute sit out) she promptly goes I dont wanna Timeout and begins to fuss and fidget. Until finally going into "psychotic crying bitchy tantrum" !! by this time me and the other counslers are all "oh shit" and pushed the kids away as D and her help restrains Girl N.

She keeps this shit up for 30 minutes, until finally calming. To...well ironically doing the same things we told her not to do.

What have we learned? That this tantrum could possibly not be a true tantrum. Especially since she was fine RIGHT after her tantrum ends. Most kids are crabby after bawling for 30 minutes. and 2. She must be spoiled to death.

I mean she HAS to be, It is either her way or the highway (or the folded lunch tables which IS off limits by the way.)
Which makes me frown to how parents or guardians allow their children to get THIS bad. I mean hey, every kid has their little disobey days but damn, this is like this everyday. (but first tantrum that was this severe) Parents/Guardians who let their kids be this way royally fuck themselves when they are in schools/camps where the teachers have authority over them and tell their spoiled kid what to do.

Moral of this story: Raise your children well, treet them yes... but don't spoil em. For the love of god.

THINK OF THE OTHERS WHO WATCH YOUR KID!

[TheOneHero]

Heh, reminds me of something that happened just yesterday.

I was at church, and wanted to stay for the remainder of the lessons. So I got a ride home with some friends.

Well, before we could leave, we had to go round up some kids. So myself and a friend walked into the gym. (Usually where the little kids hang out)

One of them, (about http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cool.gif took out his cell-phone and said to his friend (about 9) "Let me call my girlfriend, then we can play basketball more."

First off, he's fucking 8, and has a 'girlfriend' and his own cell-phone.

I politely asked the kids to leave the gym since the church is going to be locked up soon. What do the little brats do? Tell me to go away.

I told them again they need to leave the gym. Little shits told me to screw off, since they want to play more.

Really kids, is that how you're gonna act to a complete stranger? Maybe I'll see you on the news as the next missing child in this area of Michigan.

[Sagasu]

"You should only pretend to cry around people who pretend to care." http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

I have a little sister, and let me tell you.

They spoil themselves.

[Blitzkommando]

What kids need more of today is good old fashioned spankings. I don't mean beat the kid senseless but just that a quick snap to the buttocks does more than yelling ever could. Plus, it is more of the humilation of the spanking itself than the actual event. It shows the parent, or whomever, is bigger and thus in control. Yelling or trying to talk to them is useless. They're kids, thier attention span is about 5 seconds.

[navci]

On 2005-06-27 19:42, BLITZKOMMANDO wrote:
What kids need more of today is good old fashioned spankings. I don't mean beat the kid senseless but just that a quick snap to the buttocks does more than yelling ever could. Plus, it is more of the humilation of the spanking itself than the actual event. It shows the parent, or whomever, is bigger and thus in control. Yelling or trying to talk to them is useless. They're kids, thier attention span is about 5 seconds.



Word.
Nothing severe like elaborate beating rituals. But a spank in the public is humiliating. You will prolly want to stop drawing any attention to yourself and rather you hide in a hole. It isn't the pain, but the embarassment that punishes.

[Anubis_]

I am forged with deep south parenting...

And As the blade of my wrath is sharp.

I will use it to cut my children in to submis... i mean, obedience...

I've been on both sides of the wire.

I've been the guy wishing the kid in the next aisle to top throwing a fit.

And I've been the Male role model souly responsible for diciplining the child.

And I'm here to tell you disciplining a child isn't as easy as it seems. You cant just talk to them and expect them to obey. Or reason with them to get them to stop. Or beat them into sumbision. Although that does work sometimes.

Actually I prefer physical discipline, its how I was raised and Many other people in my community.

So for all of you eligable bachelorets out their looking for a future husband and father figure.

I'm 20,
5 9..

And I'll beat the hell out of my kids.

NONO.. I'll use a belt. and only a belt,, or switch.... or ... extension cord. or whatever material seems suitable at the time.

I can't help it.. I'm a whipper.. I've whipped children before and I'm pretty sure I'll do it again.

And guess what, they mind, they do what I say and that works for me.

[navci]

On 2005-06-27 20:11, Anubis_ wrote:
And guess what, they mind, they do what I say and that works for me.


I agree that some spanking would do some good.
I do NOT, however agree on your view on diciplining the child with "whatever happens to be in your hand".

My dad used to do that to me. In fact, he invented some pretty creative way to make the most out of punishment. A spank, is quite different from having an electronic drill aimed at the palm of your hand. I think back on my childhood and all I ever remember is horror like that, rather than "oh, I am glad that happened so I turned out to be like me today".

There are certain things you can do and all it will actually does is damage your kids. Punishing because you are angry is one of them. Pardon me if I am wrong, but it sounded more like "I will beat the shit out of them if they make me angry". That isn't dicipline, that is call "taking out your anger on others".

edit: If you were joking. Then I apologize.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: navinator on 2005-06-27 20:44 ]</font>

[Jett_Kakashi]

Im only 17..but my two step brothers listen to me when I tell them to do something. Yet now thats been wearing off. Anywas, humiliated because you're spanking your child? heh. I love to see someone come up to me when I pop my kid on the butt for doing something bad. Ill literally let THAT person have it. Noone tells a parent what to do unless if the kids control the parents.

[RoninJoku]

Ya know... I have a bratty little niece... Who many would probably consider to be "spoiled". But she isn't really spoiled. And she isn't improperly disciplined either. My sister and brother-in-law do a VERY good job at disciplining her imho... They have tried many different methods at discipling, but none seem to really touch base... The child just likes attention, and acting out is how she gets it... Or rather, that's the only way she really knows how to get attention... It's not like her parents simply ignore her whenever she does something attention worthy. She has just discovered how to get what she wants and at this point ignoring her when she cries out isn't really that effective... I guess my point is, that raising a kid is extremely tricky... even for the best of parents... And... Because of it's trickyness... I don't really know what i'm saying anymore... <.<

Well anyway... I don't really know your whole situation with this "problem child". But maybe you should sit down with the kid and try to figure out his/her individual needs... If you really think about why the kid is acting the way it does, then maybe you can improve the situation... Er... I'm done I think...

[Kamatz]

I know I don't have any little monsters of my own yet, and I really don't want to. Why? Because of this.

You're overlooking another big problem today which is nosey people who give you bad looks and humiliate YOU if you try to discipline your child. I am dead serious.

My own mother would spank me, and I feel that I turned out alright... if rather lazy. I have a little brother also, whom, once, got a public spanking. Three swift pops on the behind, and some old woman nearby mutters something about reporting my mother to the cops for abuse. Little bro didn't put on a show of pitching a fit afterwards because even he knew the punishment was just.

What the heck is that?

On the reverse side, you also have negligent parents or overly and seemingly pro-active ones who have it in their head that society should pitch a hand in raising their child for them. This is what has lead us to have the obnoxious brats that are trolling the streets today. A good old-fashioned lack of raising.


What do I think on raising a child? It isn't that hard to out-smart a four year old. Think back to when you were their age and remember the tricks /you/ tried to pull. Don't let yourself get snowed by a kid that still thinks its funny when someone farts.

There's creative punishment, and there's sadism. Know the difference. Doing something deliberately traumatic to the child is going to leave them with sour memories, and the defiant disposition later on.
Something creative like the "Leaving the kid on the corner for five minutes" trick seen on Desperate Housewives? Brilliantly simple, and it works. I was baaad for wandering off and getting lost when I was litttle. I got that one pulled on me, and believe me, I never wandered away from my mother while we were out again. X)

[Jett_Kakashi]

Thats why you stand up for your family. You tel them to buzz off and mind their own business. Everybody thinks that even poking a child these days is abuse. You just have to stand up for yourself and say you gave him/her three swift pops because he did something wrong. Also, at least she didnt beat him with a bat right? So next time something like that happens, just tell them off.

Also, leaving them alone at a corner..bad idea. Even if you're watching. People out there are friggin' sick. Kidnapping..raping..and killing them off.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Jett_Kakashi on 2005-06-29 20:28 ]</font>

[Anubis_]

I agree that some spanking would do some good.
I do NOT, however agree on your view on diciplining the child with "whatever happens to be in your hand".

My dad used to do that to me. In fact, he invented some pretty creative way to make the most out of punishment. A spank, is quite different from having an electronic drill aimed at the palm of your hand. I think back on my childhood and all I ever remember is horror like that, rather than "oh, I am glad that happened so I turned out to be like me today".

Well, of course I mean not do something like that.. Once my father couldn't find something to hit me with so he just choked me..

.. and I under no circumstances condone that..

Yeah.. you are right. Agreeing with your parents diciplinary action makes you who you are, just as mutch as ignoring them does.

The ends don't justify the means. And I like that you still believe in physical dicipline but disaproves of what your father did.

You've filtered out what you could learn from him, from what you've had to discard. I've done the same with my father countless times.

I think its very impresive that you've learned to break the cycle and have decided to become a stronger parenting figure..

[Daikarin]

Once I was in the bar just below my library, "wasting" a summer afternoon studying.

I went to the counter to get myself a drink, when I see the lady looking to other side, saying "I'm not giving you money to buy cigarettes, you're too young to smoke".

When I look to the bar's entrance, there was this little kid looking at us, asking us with his fingers if we had cigarettes.

What, he was like 6 year-old? There was another kid with him which could barely walk, he was what, 2,3 years old? Geez, sometimes I just get crazy about these things.

[Kamatz]

At that age, its probably just the kid trying to emulate it's parents. : Not neccessarily a smoker right out of the crib, but the child of smokers. People often don't consider that the things they do are what become and example for their child to go by. Hopefully people will continue to say no to the child and the two will grow up alright. If not... more murder on the hands of Marlboro.




Smoking kills

[Bot-Bot]

Aside from the smoking and back to the main point of this topic....

I also have a younger brother of 13 (I'm 15), and he is one of those people that you could call "overly individual". You know one of those people that tries anything to get attention. Once I was trying to find one of my CDs and I remembered I let him use it to put on his mp3 player. So I asked him if he knew were it was, but of course even if he knew were it was he said "How would I know?" in that bitchy voice. So I looked just about every where in the house (except his room). Finally deciding I couldn't find it, I went up his room. After about 10 seconds of looking my brother hears me and yells at me for being in his room. I know that he really doesn't care, but the fact that he uses his room as a way of showing power or ownership of his room. He just wants to find a way to make me not use something of his. It ended up not being in there, but still, he wouldn't let me lok in his room for like 5 minutes to find something of mine.

Also, he doesn't do ANYTHING I tell him. I'll tell him something and he gives me that "your not the boss of me" shit. And he's 13! I try to get my parents to make him obedient (I actualy am), but they never seem to notice that hes being a fucking retard to me. And then I sometimes get mad and start yelling at him (and occasionally kicking his ass) and my parents get mad at ME. How much more can a plan backfire. My parents know that I'm perfectly obedient, but my brother is the biggest fucking slob you've ever seen. They know this, but don't do anything about it. And it bugs the hell out of me because I'm the only damn person in the house that seems to know whats going on at all.

Rapping all that up into a conclusion burreto, people sometimes don't feel like noticing the good and the bad sometimes.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Next time he says that "Your not the boss of me crap" just do one of the following.

"Pick him up, and throw him (not litterally people)into his room and say "If you're gonna act like a baby, Im going to treat you like one."


Two: Grab him by the back part of his neck and squeeze, not to hard, just enough to make him get on his knees. Just becareful he doesnt sucker punch you between the legs or the gut. Once hes on his knees, you tell him that you're older than him, and he will listen to his elders. If he says no, squeeze harder and say not the answer im looking for. (Even though thats a bit extreme, hes 13, your 15. He needs to grow up and you're doing what almost every other older brother does. Bullying a bit XD)

Three: Tell him hes a gisgrace to your family because hes not growing up. And make up something that wil scare him.

[Sayara]

mmm, punishment like that would be wonderful here...

Except if i lay one finger with punishmental justice on these kids my job is fucked, and the county gets some serious shit issues.

The temptation sometimes is unbearable.

and Jett, i totally disapprove of mental abuse as you suggest. Its one thing to give a child a licking of slaps to the bottom, its another to scar their mind with the negitive feeling of that.

[Jett_Kakashi]

It depends on how you give them the message. If you do it correctly, itll hit their mins hard, and they say to themselves, "Hey, I need to grow up, and straighten up my act."

Do it wrong, then your point of view happens.

[Sayara]

On 2005-07-01 18:17, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
It depends on how you give them the message. If you do it correctly, itll hit their mins hard,

Righteous, lets gamble with our kids sanity shall we?

[HUcastShinobi]

Well, I heard once that if you ignore a baby, they end up being mean, so why not give them the attention as a baby, and slowly cut down when they turn about 4 or 5. As you start ignoring them, they should eventually get the point that they aren't the "center of attention," which happens to be every childs problem.

I was like that, I wasn't as diciplined as my brother and sister was, and I got hand-me-downs. I'm still supposedly the "spoiled" one because I've had more sleepovers and friends over than they did. For starters, my mom doesn't work anymore, and I have to BEG to spend my own money I get for christmas or my birthday. My siblings get all this money for college and stuff they want (cars, cellphones, guitars, etc.). Sure it sounds like it's a fair deal, but this sendimental crap just doesn't cut it. Because I'm an outcast, I've been thrown away by my folks in a way, because I can't talk to them if I have issues, because it goes back to my childhood. And if I want to spend money, I have to beg.

Maybe the key is into how your child acts, and what they demand is what is reflected in what they deserve. I'm lazy, so thats my problem in a way. So choosing what your child gets could be reflected on what your child does and how they react to the answer that you give them.

[Jett_Kakashi]

On 2005-07-02 05:09, Tingle wrote:


On 2005-07-01 18:17, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
It depends on how you give them the message. If you do it correctly, itll hit their mins hard,

Righteous, lets gamble with our kids sanity shall we?



Its not gambling. Its called "Knowing how to do the job correctly."

[Solstis]

On 2005-07-03 10:45, Jett_Kakashi wrote:


On 2005-07-02 05:09, Tingle wrote:


On 2005-07-01 18:17, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
It depends on how you give them the message. If you do it correctly, itll hit their mins hard,

Righteous, lets gamble with our kids sanity shall we?



Its not gambling. Its called "Knowing how to do the job correctly."



No, no, no. There is such a thing as restraint. Children's minds are not to be toyed with just because you are not satisfied with their outlook.

What, I'm (assumedly) older than you. Does that mean that I can have my way with you? No.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Im not talking about scaring the shit outta them. I talking about giving them a reality check. Example: Your daughter is 13, dressing like a whore. You tell her to quit dressing like that but it always ends up as her dressing like that. Now, for most parents, they give up and let them do what they want. Some will give them that reality check. For this example "You keep dressing like a whore, you will be raped, and killed at some corner."
Sometimes, that doesnt work, because they do the tough act, and think they're invincible. So, if the parents really do care about their child, they will take neccesary force, and basically, throw their daughters war drobe away, and replace it with better clothes. (Even though to this day thats becoming harder to do.)

As for kids who dont want to grow up, you tell them what happens in the everyday world to people who get on other peoples nerves.

[Solstis]

On 2005-07-03 17:48, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
Im not talking about scaring the shit outta them. I talking about giving them a reality check. Example: Your daughter is 13, dressing like a whore. You tell her to quit dressing like that but it always ends up as her dressing like that. Now, for most parents, they give up and let them do what they want. Some will give them that reality check. For this example "You keep dressing like a whore, you will be raped, and killed at some corner."
Sometimes, that doesnt work, because they do the tough act, and think they're invincible. So, if the parents really do care about their child, they will take neccesary force, and basically, throw their daughters war drobe away, and replace it with better clothes. (Even though to this day thats becoming harder to do.)

As for kids who dont want to grow up, you tell them what happens in the everyday world to people who get on other peoples nerves.



What happens in the everyday world to people that get on other's nerves? What pray tell?

You have some twisted version of reality, and I'm glad that I'm not a part of it.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Ever heard of the nice, harmless thing called a gun? That goes bang bang and shoots bullets at people? Oh you havnt? Well..everybody has one, and seems to blow anybodys head off if they're pissed at someone.

Tch, its everyday life bud. Unless you live in Alaska, you're gonna hear/ see a murder go on.

[navci]

On 2005-07-03 17:48, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
"You keep dressing like a whore, you will be raped, and killed at some corner."


This is off topic, but I can't resist.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. This is what feeds the "Female vulunable" stereotype. That if and when a woman gets raped they blamed themselves. YOu know what? The truth is you can be in a diving suit, if the dude is gonna rape you, he is going to rape you. It has nothing to do with how you are dressed. That is just another question altogether.

You know what I find really humourous? It is about how a bunch of kids telling each other how to raise kids. A lot of you really don't see what being a parent is like, what kind of tools you have available, and what kind of options you have. Really. You have no idea what you are talking about. Raising a kid is different from how to treat a younger sibling.

The unfortunate stuff is, a lot of people who are parents never realize they never grow out of that mentality.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: navinator on 2005-07-03 19:16 ]</font>

[Sayara]

No fucking way.

People do not just randomly sport their pistols and go bang bang at every annoyance.

And not on a child for fucks sake. Thats totally irrational. And which is why i say ruin the childs mental status with your add bullshit paranoia.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Navinator, you got the point on the raping stuff, but ussually the ones you always see that do get raped are the oens that dress like whores. Skirts that literally reveal anything and everything, shirts practically see through. <_<

[navci]

On 2005-07-03 19:18, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
Navinator, you got the point on the raping stuff, but ussually the ones you always see that do get raped are the oens that dress like whores. Skirts that literally reveal anything and everything, shirts practically see through. <_<


This involves on a larger social scale on how we want to educate our women, I am not going to go in depth with that. Let me put it this way: you see what the media wants you to see.

[Sayara]

Hmm, so little girls and boys were raped because they wear revieling diapers?


Either this goes back into the topic at hand or i will lock this faster then your "society" will pull a gun on a child.

[ABDUR101]

Yes, lets head back on topic.

[Jett_Kakashi]

^

Just to get back on topic, let me give you one tip on what not to do to your child.

Dont shleter them from the world. You may want to keep them safe, but if you shelter them, they dont know what goes on in the world, what kind of uber cool stuff out there, and that theres alot more than "internet society and games" in their lives.

[Sayara]

Well obviously that is a good idea.

Though filling their minds with everything is bad in society is also no good.

A middle needs to be built, and a remainder that their house is their safehaven as well.

[Jett_Kakashi]

You got a point Tingle. But if you dont tell them the dangers of the world, then you got a Child that thinks everything is harmless. And after a few months, you either got a drug addict, or...a dead kid.
Just let them know those dangers are there, and how to look out for them.

[Sayara]

You can say these things (like specifics) when they are older.

However if the child is younger (like lets say in the 6-8 area) they are alittle unknowledged, and are still developing (especially in the 6 age) You can be alittle less harsh on the dangers of outside.

"Don't talk to strangers." Will be enough to keep these young ones safer, and less worrysome then.
"look out for hookers, sluts, drug addicts, rapists, pedophiles...etc"

[Jett_Kakashi]

Actually..."Dont talk to strangers" wont do enough.
We have kids smoking at the age of....5. You have to tell them "Dont do drugs." (Even though the school covers that. But it will be better if you also remind them too.)

[Sayara]

Sure. If it gets to the point the child is doing the things that we suggested not to do, then you can tell them what it is.

I mean a naive child can be spared alot of the trouble by the simple "keep away"

[Solstis]

On 2005-07-03 19:29, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
You got a point Tingle. But if you dont tell them the dangers of the world, then you got a Child that thinks everything is harmless. And after a few months, you either got a drug addict, or...a dead kid.
Just let them know those dangers are there, and how to look out for them.



There's a difference between training a CIA agent and raising a child.

I agree with Navi in that we seriously have no idea what we're talking about. Teens don't, and really should never have to, raise a child. Yes, it is good to point out the dangers of the world, but as Tingle said, in a way that isn't harsh.

The "world" is a tough place Jett, but it's not the hellhole you paint it out to be.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Try living in some of the places Ive lived in bud.

[navci]

On 2005-07-04 13:28, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
Try living in some of the places Ive lived in bud.



I am sorry life's been rough and you have seen things that people normally don't. The world isn't perfect, but teaching the kid everything is impending doom might not be the best idea either. The kid will just grow up paranoid, distrustful, and cynical. Moderate degree of these can be a good thing to keep safe, but to believe everything is like this can't do anybody any good. You forget to see positive things in life, or rather, you can't see anything good in the world. Everything is bad the moment you loosen up. It's stressful.

Point again, really. There isn't too much point on giving each other parenting advice.

[Jett_Kakashi]

Try getting to know what happened in my life then Ill actually consider taking your point into consideration. Till then, you can assume that Im basically paranoid of everything and dont see the good in the world.

[geewj]

On 2005-07-04 14:29, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
Try getting to know what happened in my life then Ill actually consider taking your point into consideration. Till then, you can assume that Im basically paranoid of everything and dont see the good in the world.



Try making your own thread to convince everyone how hellish your life has been, and keep this one on the topic of raising kids.

[Sayara]

Eh, just forget it.

Request Lock