when everything is taken away....

[Evil_Althena8]

So this is it.

Everything I knew would happen did happen. I am reminded again and again why things never seem to work how I want them. I don't know why.

Tonight I got a phonecall from Charles. He told me that he's moving back to Maryland.....I was shocked.

But only somewhat. He always did talk about how much he missed Maryland. He moved here to Ohio from Maryland 7 years ago. He always told me stories about Maryland......

He told me that there's nothing here for him ohio and that he needs to get away. He just got his feelings hurt from this girl he fell in love with from MYSPACE. He's only known her for a couple weeks!!!! ...maybe that's part of it. He's moving to Maryland back with his Grandma. His grandmaa makes alot of money...apparently she's giving him a almost new car, a place to work with her, and letting him stay there for free. He finally gets what he wanted. He gets to see all his old friends again. And now I'm left behind with almost nothing. He was the only person that could relieve my insanity because honestly I have nothing without him. My best friend is leaving me because of all this court bullshit and because of his little broken heart.

I wish I had a little fairy godmother that could just make everything better again like he does. I have no job, I don't drive, I get threatened by my parents daily that I'm going to get kicked out. I have no motivation to do anything. Why is this happening to me? What I do wrong?

This is so horrible. I'm still in shock. Just at a point when things were already bad, and now THIS?!.....I know he probably won't come back, because things there are going to be so much better for him. He'll get to go college and have a decent job and everything will be just peachy while I sit here and rot forever.

And to think, this is all my fault. I was the idiot who fell in love. I held it in for over two years because I was scared. And now it's dissapearing forever. Everything that was built up over those 2 years is disintegrating right before my eyes. I wish I could go back and change my life...maybe just never ever meet him. I don't know what I'm going to do. Without him everything is going to change. I will have no one to talk to about my problems. All the countless nights we spent together, it's like my house was his second home.

I can't bear to think that this is it. That it's all over. He's leaving everything behind he got to know here. I just want to forget everything. Maybe I should move too? I have nothing left here without him. I should move to Key West where my cousins and Aunt live...after all I always wanted to see the ocean because i never have. OH well...i'm going to figure this out somehow.

I'm sorry if I sound really whiney ...it's just something I had to get off my chest.

[roygbiv]

Unrequited love had been a pretty big part of my life for a long time, and after time passing by and nothing happening, and never making a move... I was left only with bitter feelings and regret. Now I try to be honest about everything that I think. Hold nothing inside, perhaps talk too candidly about having feelings for someone... but perhaps that is easier when there is nobody you have been attracted to around you for a while.

But then things didn't work out, and I got past those bitter feelings. Though arguably with a bitter and jaded personality in tow.

All I can say is, move forward... I think it is somewhat hollow advice, but it might need to be said. There are certainly other things to look forward to in life, but if you are stuck in the same routine, the same rut, as it might be... you will never see those bright possibilities.

Moving out East would be a good option you should explore, if your relatives there can provide you with housing and suggestions on community college/ college in the area, I would follow through with that.

Obviously if you still are going to deal with these legal issues, then that might not be an option until everything is resolved.

But do something different, grab a job, enroll in a community college/college... get a plan with what you want to do with your life.

In my view you are probably never going to meet people in Ohio... do what you still need to do there... and then move away. There are plenty of other great areas with lots of opportunities in the country. But before that you are going to have to have a job and money or some training and connections when you arrive there... It might be a while before you can move out... but don't let that discourage.

Grab a plan, figure out what you want to do, and move on.

[Eomer]

He couldn't be more right.
You have to look on the positive things in life.
New friends, new adventures. you should try traveling.
Heh. I'd live in a van if I had the choice.
Although unrequited love will always be the most bitter of feelings, what emerges from it can be beatiful.
I sacrificed my heart and found music, for instance.
Maybe something similar will spring from you.
I choose to live my life with a loving heart and a warm smile, regardless of whether she loves me or not.
Being torn open by rejection showed me how much people depend on love, and now, I'm trying to make people feel just that much better about everything by radiating the good feelings I wish i could recieve.