I almost kind of cried....

[InfinityXXX]

Before i can even explain i'll have to give background information.

You see, my mom has never really liked her parents. She cared for them but she has always felt a bit bitter. They talk but back in her day she was always disciplined heavily. My grandad, was never around during her younger years but when he was around he disciplined her heavily. This lead to him cheating(still does) on my grandmom. My grandmom often blamed my mom for her promblems saying, "She ain't shit and never will be". They never held conversatons with her. It was always discipline and negativity.

My mom, till this day, says her parents our her grandmom and grandad and she delt with her parents torture until she was 19. At age 19 she met my dad and easily left the house with him.

My father was an abusive person. I watched most of his outbursts. He held guns and blades up to her threatening her if she was to ever leave but till this day my mom says she would've rather lived with him than her parents.

One final night,my dad was hitting my mom and i remember he threw a chair and cocked his fist up. I jumped in the way and protected her and my dad stopped.(He never could hit me) Later that night, she grabbed me and my bro(he was 1yrs old) and we ran away. We knocked on some ladie's door and she let us stay there and my mom reluctantly called her parents.

From then on we've always lived in towns with my grandparents but my mom still has bitter feelings towards them.(she doesn't call her mom, mom.)

My mom is an independent woman. Everything she owns, she bought. She speaks her mind and because of these characteristics she and her mom and dad clashed a lot.

I, am an independent person. I am nothing more than a male version of my mom and my grandparents see it. Because of this, I get mistreated by my grandparents. When i was kid, they use to keep me while my mom was at work. Everyday around 8 a.m I would be shipped outside with nothing to do or play with and around 2p.mish i would get some water and a sandwich and at 5 p.m i would be able to come inside the house and i would eat something.(5p.m was the time my mom got off work)

Now my brother, he was able to stay in the house along with my uncle who is 3yrs older than me. I questioned them and i would get the"stop acting to grown." and i just forgot about it.

My aunt who was 22, moved in with them. She had came from Mississippi and was trying to find a life in our town so she stayed with my grandparents. She had 2 kids and her and her 2 kids were treated badly. She and her kids was only allowed to eat twice a day. Her tv had to be turned off at 8 p.m. My grandparents use to hide food that my aunt bought away from her kids.

My aunt was nice, she use to smuggle me in her room sometimes but she use to always cry, saying how she wish she could move. Eventually she moved into an apartment.

But she died and my grandparents shipped her kids to their other grandparents. (My aunt said 2 weeks before she died that she NEVER wanted them with their other grandparents we also didn't even know she was our aunt until about 5 months before she died)

During my elementary years my grandparents always compared me to my uncle who was 3yrs older than me. I admit, i always outdid him but they always compared me to him. My uncle(when he was young) was a very snobby kid. Him, along with his parents always thought they were better than everyone. But now, at age 19, my uncle can care less about trying to outdo me.(They stopped comparing us when he started bringing in the D's his freshmamn yr. I, kept a 4.0 gpa or higher freshman and sophmore yr)

I've always spoke my mind around my g-parents. I've gotten many honors. I am very close to my mom and all my mom's views and mines are all similar. I am like my mom. The girl they tried to break. The girl they were jealous of.

Now here is the Rant:

For the past 5yrs my g-parents always never have my gift on time, saying i have to wait for it. For the past 3yrs i have recieved not one gift from them except some money from my granddad.

Now that my uncle is older they try to compare me with my brother who is 3yrs younger than me. My mom yells at my bro because he thinks hes a gangster and his grades suck but because of this, they say my mom mistreats my bro. They say she also plays favortism because my brother has a darker skin tone than me. This is not true.

Everytime Trey acts stupid in front of them and my mom corrects him they start going off on her saying she is treating him wrong.

Today is my brother birthday. Now normally when its someones birthday they call my mom and tell one of us to come over their house and get our gift.(In my case i was always told that my gift was posptponed. Sometimes they never call.)

Anyways, they came over our house today to give Trey his gift. When they first came in, the first thing they said was, "We came her for Trey." I said Hi but as soon as i said it i was ignored and they started talking to Trey. My mom started talking to them and they frowned up at her and while my mom was talking they started talking to Trey. They then asked how Trey's cake looked like and my mom showed them and my grandmom said."Humph, well i hope he gets to eat it"(WTF was that suppose to mean?)

Then after that they gave him 20 dollars a piece. My grandad then said "Heres something only for you." After that I caught my grandmom looking at me. At that time i was reading a book. And i said "Oh yeah, today i got my summer reading book" She then turned away and didn't say anything and started smiling at Trey. They then left.

Now for the past goddamn 3 years i have got nothing except 20 dollars from my grandad my 15th b-day and when i came to get it(He gave it 3days after my actual b-day) the convo went like this.

Him: Why you come him for?

Me: Umm, you told me you were gonna give me my b-day gift.

Him: Thats all you came from? Humph, you must really want this money.

He then gave the money to me balled up and left in his room. No one said nothing to me while i was at their house so i just got their phone and called my mom.

I swear, i don't think i love my grandparents. I care for them but sometimes i just wish I could know how it feels to have true grandparents. They use my brother against me all the time and today it just made me sad how they just were so happy for Trey's b-day but on all mine i literally had to beg them for my gift and they always had a nasty attitude. I almost kinda cried but my mom talked to me. I'm no wimp but its just sad to me, that my grandparents hurt me like that.
















<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: InfinityXXX on 2005-08-08 19:25 ]</font>

[Jett_Kakashi]

Damn man. All I can say is sorry and hope everything gets better. However, I think you're a real hero standing in front of your dad like that.

[EphekZ]

On 2005-08-08 19:23, Jett_Kakashi wrote:
Damn man. All I can say is sorry and hope everything gets better. However, I think you're a real hero standing in front of your dad like that.

[Scejntjynahl]

You have a better gift than Trey will ever have. You have your mother in you, and she is someone worthy of emulating. This gift will keep on giving so as long as you dont forget who you are. Your mother is a proud person, albeit made some mistakes. But she kept on going, and her gift for her is you. Do not concern yourself with shortminded individuals, especially when you are already far better than they can ever hope to be. Honor your mother as she has sacrificed for you, and you shall see that in the end all others will be meneangless. May your fortitude and determination see you through life. For I not even knowing you, can say I am glad to know there are people like you still around.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

That's very sad about your aunt, dying at a young age-after feeling helpless in that house. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif

Well your grandparents shouldn't take resentment of your mom down upon you. You get good grades, you help out your mom, brother, and sister. How is this wrong?

They probably take more affection upon your older uncle due to the fact he is more like them. I don't know anything besides what you've said here but people commonly refer to those as "bad apples".

They can treat you bad all they want, they know what they're doing.

You don't have to treat them badly back. End the cycle. Ignore them since acting out/talking back will be thrown back in your face, right?

Forget their birthdays or something, "eye for an eye" thing. Casually if you're up to it(since this is considered kind of harsh even for them), like not give them a phone call or card.

Lets hope they have regrets one day about treating you and your mother badly, but if they don't, they don't and there's nothing you can do. Just accept it and move on.

[opaopajr]

we don't choose our blood relations, but we DO choose our family. family loves you, even if they are furious with you, and will work with you to help you even in your darkest hour. not all blood relations can do that -- and that's the hard part, because you just learned "family" isn't always family.

rejection hurts, but best to avoid crazy when it comes walking up your side of the street. you're doing good, don't forget that. now go be a success, it's the best form of revenge.

[Eihwaz]

On 2005-08-08 20:41, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:
You don't have to treat them badly back. End the cycle. Ignore them since acting out/talking back will be thrown back in your face, right?

Forget their birthdays or something, "eye for an eye" thing. Casually if you're up to it(since this is considered kind of harsh even for them), like not give them a phone call or card.

Um, I couldn't help but notice that those two bits of advice seem rather mutually exclusive. How is he supposed to "end the cycle" if he uses an "eye for an eye" strategy? :3

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

I added the second paragraph after the first there.

If he was up to it, not saying he would. Knowing his personality a little he probably wouldn't.

The part in these: (part) covers it okay.

And opaopajr covered it as far as "revenge."

http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif
Does that explain enough Eihwaz?

[Daikarin]

As far as I can see, you're already gifted. You seem like a cool guy, for a guy who went through all that. Normally you would be some kind of dealer or street punk, but that's definitively NOT who I see here.

Don't worry about them, give them time to change. Just don't let other people get in your way of life. You ARE being treated unfairly, and you seem like a better man than he is.

Unfortunately, not all people can see that. But some do, as you can see here.

Sounds like you've had a tough life. I'm sorry, I never had a clue. Be brave enough to be yourself.

[Bungee950]

wow. you have a hard life, and it may not get easier. for the time being, live and let live. Talk to your mom about favoring you over your brother, though.