Gaming and Relationships

[Alielle]

How much would you consider an appropriate amount of time gaming/being on the PC per day if you have a significant other? And if you have personal experiences with this, I encourage you to post. ;o I imagine the numbers may be affected by whether both parties are interested in games, as well...

There's a reason I'm asking, but I have class in about ten minutes. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Skorpius]

I'm one of the lucky guys who has a girl that loves to play video games and sit on the computer. >_>;

How much time? I can't really say, when she visted, I was playing games while she was on her laptop. I'd assume, if the couple likes to game together, that the games would take over nights out. XP

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Skorpius on 2005-09-08 16:49 ]</font>

[EJ]

Around 3-4 hours if I'm not with her but if I have plans with her then around 1 hour or so but also every girl I went out with also like to game so yea dunno if that is helpful or not. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

Edit: forget to put "if" http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ForceEJ on 2005-09-08 16:51 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

I doubt there can be a real number given. Depends entirely on what each person prefers to do, or if they mind their significant others gaming over other things.

Get someone who likes gaming just as much as you do, tada.

Got someone who plays abit, but prefers other things, or someone who isn't really into gaming, then make compromises.

Neither should really dominate in what happens, if anything, set afew nights aside for when you game and they do something on their own(if they prefer not to game with you) and nights when you do things together.

Compromise, too many ways to compromise.

[Zelutos]

find someone who loves the same games as you, and then play together http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[Tispers]

I would say, give it like 1-2 hours, my ex used to get mad at me for ignoring her or not calling her because I was on the computer for long periods of time.

[Pagit]

I'm a gamer married to a gamer. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif It's a good arrangement.

[BogusKun]

im single but when i was dating...

I found that my "American-made" girlfriends hated games compared to the females I dated in Japan who loves and know games.

From my first encounter to probably early 2005 I spent half of my day on Video games.

The other half is women, school, eat, sleep.

In Japan... I'm 70% video games.

Which is why all my American girls cheat on me http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

[hyperacute]

My better half is a gamer as well so we tend to spend entire days playing the things. That said, she only got into gaming in "self-defense" as I spent a lot of time on RPGs when we met but since we moved in together, she's spent more on consoles and games than I have.

Then again, my ex wasn't much of a gamer but was quite happy watching films for hours at a time whilst I played. I think it comes down to how much attention your partner and yourself want out of the relationship...

[Alielle]

Thanks for the insight. Actually, here's the reason I was asking. I have a female gamer friend who's in a relationship with another gamer. She's growing bored of coming home to him staring at the PC screen playing games until he shuts down to go to bed. So even though she enjoys games herself, they hardly ever actually play games together. You'd think there'd be a simple solution (i.e., find a game to play together!), but it never seems to happen. They're not really interested in the same types of games.

Personally, I think they should get out more, or at least take part in other activities. She's suggested the same, yet he never seems interested. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif Compromise is the key, as Abdur suggested, but it hasn't really improved since they started supposedly "working on it." Talking to him about it hasn't seemed to help and she's almost at her wit's end.

(Of course, I have a lot of opinions about this, but out of tact I kind of end up keeping it to myself. >_>)

[ABDUR101]

Well liking different kinds of games would be an issue, it's no different than sports fanatics like two different teams, or music/movie buffs who can't agree to watch something on TV.

It's not nearly as simple as "oh I like gaming too!", once you get into the specifics, there's all kinds of niches.

So, it's one of those things that will no doubt have her dumping his ass, because obviously he doesn't have enough interest in keeping the relationship going. He's choosing games over her, and thats all well and good, just hope he doesn't get surprised when she gets rid of him.

Gotta be mutual understandings and compromises, making sure you're responsive to your significant others needs and all that, not just a "meh...whatever" attitude when they're explaining an issue in the relationship.

[Luis]

i just beat tales of symphonia with my wife, i dont see a problem with a couple playing video games, besides i consider important that both of us have the same hobbies, and thats not only just for video games, its important that the couples have favorite hobbies together can be video games or dance or whatever but it got to be the same.

Not also couples got problems when one plays video games while the other wait him/her to finish, also for example when the husband got some friends to watch football/basketball what ever sport and you know the end of the story, or when the wife plays card games with her friends and the other person wait her to finish.

but since this is a videogame forum thats what most likely happen to some of us.

[rena-ko]

i'm gladly able to multitask and videogames / internet has low priority for me. so, i dont have to force myself into setting limits or something.
by 'significant other' wouldnt want me to force myself for him anyway.
so... wether or not i feel like it, up to half my free time (which isnt much to begin with, mind you).

[Maridia]

Frankly, as long as I can find something to do, just being in the same room with him and being able to talk out loud is nice. But I mean, if you game together in the same house, really, or even don't game together, there's no excuse to not take a couple of minute break to go smooch or cuddle or talk about your days.

If you're playing a game together, you can also flirt and play a bit, which could lead to drawing the boy away from the computer and towards you instead for other activities. <___<

I guess it really depends. I didn't have a problem when Steve was on the computer for long periods. I knew if I really wanted him to come see me, he would, and he also tried not to spend too long in there. It also helped to be able to talk to him on AIM from upstairs on my laptop. When your boyfriend blatently ignores you in favor of the computer, that's where there's some problems. Compromise really is key. And issues like that must be resolved quickly before resentment festers and grows. ;/

[Scejntjynahl]

When a game becomes the issue of discussion of a relationship, remember this... its just a game.

This would be far more damning if you were having difficulties with your beloved because you had (or they) to work long hours and they take that as you not paying attention to them. Or when you have already established that your a person that likes to ride on bikes but they do not. Etc etc.

Problem is ... when we want to change a person to our benefit. When we should be thinking of changes that would benefit us both.

I suppose in the end we all make our own sets of limitations... "Ill be damned if I give up "etc" for "whomever". Just remember that they too have their limitations as well. So it is a matter of priority, what is more important to you, and what are you willing to change (give up, etc etc) for the sake of the relationship.

Compromising works, when it is mutual. But when it is one sided, that relationship will not last long. Also... if the compromise in itself is used as a lever in future "discussions" then that nullifies the whole purpose of "compromising" to begin with. "But I already do that etc, so you (owe me, better do this, not as more of me, etc, etc)."

Just as bad when someone uses love as a tool "If you love you will "etc"" Because guess what, they can use that on you "well... IF you love me "etc"" Then it comes to a vicious cycle.

In the end one should be able to communicate courteously (not raising voice or yelling) what one feels when someone is doing something that bothers you or hurts you. Talk it out, let each other know what it does to you as an individual and as a couple. Try to understand and agree upon a "compromise" don't use ultimatums... they are just silly. Really it all depends on the strength of the relationship to begin with.

[geewj]

I agree with getting out more.

Getting out isn't about going to a specific activity for that activities sake. It's about spending time in a different enviroment.

If two people who don't like baseball go to a baseball game, they might still have a great time. Just a different enviroment to stimulate them to do whatever it is they do.

Every have a great time with someone while watching a terrible movie?


Just go do stuff. That's why people like eachother. The way they do stuff.