Conversation Between Mom and I...

[KodiaX987]

After my father's death, mom and I stumbled onto a few wristwatches that he used to wear. We hadn't paid any attention to them while we were moving, so it's only a year later that we actually open the box and find the watches in them.

I find one I like. I pick it up and asks the family if anyone else was interested on it. No one was, so I claimed the watch as mine. Only, the chain bracelet was too long. So, I brought it to a jewelry shop to have it shortened.

A few weeks later, I go to check up on the watch and they tell me they are having problems working with it, and that it isn't ready yet. I come back home, briefly listen to my mom's rant about the jewelry guys being incompetent, then she asks me this:

Mom: "But then, you weren't gonna wear that watch anyway, right?"
Me: "What?"
Mom: "I thought you weren't planning on wearing that watch."
Me: "...Mom, if I go get a watch fixed, it's because I'll be wearing the fuckin' watch!


http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

Parents...

[rena-ko]

people...

[Wyndham]

what she said isnt that stupid, and im not sure such a response is needed.
lots of people have things they dont use.
im not able to use my guitar because my two last fingers on my left hand move involuntarily, but i still kept the guitar.
even though i cant use it.
but i still tune it every once and a while.
sorry if i miss the point.

[roygbiv]

Do the watches hold any sentimental value for her?

[KodiaX987]

The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.

I thought this was a widely accepted course of thought.

[PJ]

On 2005-09-30 17:41, roygbiv wrote:
Do the watches hold any sentimental value for her?



If he was allowed to get the chain shortened in the first place, I think it's right to assume that he was going to wear it >_>

[ABDUR101]

I think she maybe assumed(and we all know what assuming does) that he was going to keep it as a, keep-sake.

Granted, it most likely still is a keep-sake to him, but will also serve an actual use rather than just sitting, broken, collecting dust.

[adamgnome104]

Everyone has those thoughts about there parents. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

But maybe she thought you were going to own it and keep it in a box, but not wear it because it might break? X.x

[KodiaX987]

On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.




On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.




On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.




On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.




On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.




On 2005-09-30 17:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
The point was that I was having this watch getting fixed. Fixed as in removing some rounds of chain from the bracelet to fit it to my size. My size as in my wrist. My wrist as in the watch-shaped spot on my body that doesn't have any tan.


QFE...

[navci]

I think that your mom don't really listen to you, and vice versa. Or lacking in listening comprehension. Heh.

[opaopajr]

O_o a week to remove a few links on the band? you shitting me? dude, i sense a rip off coming. that stuff doesn't take anywhere that long to do. hmm, is the band made of a rpecious metal? is the watch of a well-known brand name? i'd be quite worried about such weirdness. did you get a 2nd opinion on how long it'd take? seriously, i'm expecting bad things if it's taking this long.

but then, it's not like you were really interested in wearing the watch, were you?

http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif this is the foreign language known as Mother-Guilt-Trippian. the unspoken sentences after questioning your interest in wearing the watch was:

"because if you were interested in the watch you'd have raised hell and been savvy enough to know you were being had. would've grabbed your watch and be out of there. because otherwise it would be a bad reflection on me as a mother for not raising you to be street smart enough. either that or your stupid. and i'm your mother and i want to think good things about my child and good things about how i raised you and so it couldn't be that.

so i'm going to leave a big pregnant pause after this ludicruous question because you are smart and are going to give me the answer i want to hear, then get riled up enough out of guilt and shame and storm back there and do what you should've done in the first place. or you're gonna be as oblivious as your father... that's what i thought... damn, it's like he's still alive -- you're your father's son alright; so proud because you can make me just as angry as he used to. i'm still mad at you though. is this how you treat the memory of your father? aw hell. stubborn as a mule..."

i'm not a native speaker of mother-guilt-trippian, but i've learned to be marginally fluent. unfortunately it's rather taxing to translate. you have to speed up your thought processes to 128 rpm or higher, be working off of both the logical and emotional sides of your brain, and have a touch of the mystical mother's 6th sense to read the future and see beyond time and space. that and my magical decoder ring i found in a box of New Freedom maxi pads... shh! don't tell them! they'll figure out we've broken the code!

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2005-10-02 01:16, opaopajr wrote:

http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif this is the foreign language known as Mother-Guilt-Trippian. the unspoken sentences after questioning your interest in wearing the watch was:

"because if you were interested in the watch you'd have raised hell and been savvy enough to know you were being had. would've grabbed your watch and be out of there. because otherwise it would be a bad reflection on me as a mother for not raising you to be street smart enough. either that or your stupid. and i'm your mother and i want to think good things about my child and good things about how i raised you and so it couldn't be that.

so i'm going to leave a big pregnant pause after this ludicruous question because you are smart and are going to give me the answer i want to hear, then get riled up enough out of guilt and shame and storm back there and do what you should've done in the first place. or you're gonna be as oblivious as your father... that's what i thought... damn, it's like he's still alive -- you're your father's son alright; so proud because you can make me just as angry as he used to. i'm still mad at you though. is this how you treat the memory of your father? aw hell. stubborn as a mule..."

i'm not a native speaker of mother-guilt-trippian, but i've learned to be marginally fluent. unfortunately it's rather taxing to translate. you have to speed up your thought processes to 128 rpm or higher, be working off of both the logical and emotional sides of your brain, and have a touch of the mystical mother's 6th sense to read the future and see beyond time and space. that and my magical decoder ring i found in a box of New Freedom maxi pads... shh! don't tell them! they'll figure out we've broken the code!


http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif That was quite halarious. If that was in any magazine or newspaper, I would definitely pay money to read such words. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Sounded like a stand up skit Wanda Sikes did on a Comedy Central special, about saying women can't seem to stop thinking sometimes. Try to go to bed and then lie there thinking: "What was my 3rd grade English teacher's name?, why did he do that to me at work today?, man I should have bought those shoes, I dunno, let me think about it!"

I notice such things with my mother as well Shuri.

You can plainly say something any number of times, and it may or not be registered, and spoken back to you.

"Watch repair" and "watch link sizing/replacing(to fit you)" probably got mixed together is all, for what reason? Ask your mom. Or not.

[KodiaX987]

On 2005-10-02 01:16, opaopajr wrote:
O_o a week to remove a few links on the band? you shitting me? dude, i sense a rip off coming. that stuff doesn't take anywhere that long to do.


I'll clarify that piece: that watch, I don't remember the brand, but it's one helluva good watch. Either way, I brought it to the shop to get those links removed. The woman looked and prodded at the links and couldn't get to remove them. So she said she'd send them to the atelier to have them do it. Then, when I checked back, they said that even the atelier had trouble working with it, so they sent it to a certified clockworker, who can't seem to remove the links either! Chances are, she said, that the watch might come back unchanged because no one was able to get the links off so far.

[adamgnome104]

On 2005-09-30 18:18, adamgnome104 wrote:
Everyone has those thoughts about there parents. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

But maybe she thought you were going to own it and keep it in a box, but not wear it because it might break? X.x





Maybe your mom CAN'T READ YOU FUCKING MIND, and thought you were going to KEEP IT instead of getting it FIXED.

God, It's not what I thought.

I fucking angst over QFEs. -_-

[lostinseganet]

Me: "...Mom, if I go get a watch fixed, it's because I'll be wearing the fuckin' watch!
Wow you said that to your moms face?

[Mixfortune]

On 2005-10-04 11:06, adamgnome104 wrote:

Maybe your mom CAN'T READ YOU FUCKING MIND, and thought you were going to KEEP IT instead of getting it FIXED.


Calm down.

As in his OP, he did mention that his mom was talking on the incompetancy of the jewellers. She knew about it getting fixed, and most likely the manner in which it was getting fixed. Hence her first quoted line on "not wearing it anyways", she knew it was trying to be fixed.

In any case, it's really not that big of a deal, just a simple thread kinda like "oh yeah, silly stuff, not completely serious rant".



On 2005-10-15 12:56, lostinseganet wrote:
Me: "...Mom, if I go get a watch fixed, it's because I'll be wearing the fuckin' watch!
Wow you said that to your moms face?



I take it you haven't seen too much of "The Adventures of KodiaX987 and Mom".

[KodiaX987]

One more time!! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Mom: "Is the bread too cold?"
Me: "No."
Mom: "Because I can put it back in--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--the oven, you know, it's--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--all ready, I can put it in--"
Me: "It's hot."
Mom: "--the oven if you'd like, there's--"
Me: "The bread is hot."
Mom: "--no trouble at all you--"
Me: "Mom, what part of 'the bread is hot don't you fucking understand?"

[Derek0660]

On 2005-11-07 05:07, KodiaX987 wrote:
One more time!! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Mom: "Is the bread too cold?"
Me: "No."
Mom: "Because I can put it back in--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--the oven, you know, it's--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--all ready, I can put it in--"
Me: "It's hot."
Mom: "--the oven if you'd like, there's--"
Me: "The bread is hot."
Mom: "--no trouble at all you--"
Me: "Mom, what part of 'the bread is hot don't you fucking understand?"



lol, that's great

[roygbiv]

haha I remember having conversations like this with my mom. But then I broke and she won. And now I don't say anything when she does something like that. Mind numbing eh?

[InfinityXXX]

On 2005-11-07 05:07, KodiaX987 wrote:
One more time!! http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Mom: "Is the bread too cold?"
Me: "No."
Mom: "Because I can put it back in--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--the oven, you know, it's--"
Me: "No."
Mom: "--all ready, I can put it in--"
Me: "It's hot."
Mom: "--the oven if you'd like, there's--"
Me: "The bread is hot."
Mom: "--no trouble at all you--"
Me: "Mom, what part of 'the bread is hot don't you fucking understand?"





Lol, If I was to talk to my mom like that I would get knocked upside the head with the nearest item(shoe, pencil, brush, etc) and then get a beat down.

[KodiaX987]

Mom: "Hey, I lost the little internet explorer icon in my quick launch bar. How do I get it back?"
Me: "...First, how did you manage to do this?"
Mom: "...I... don't know..."


She once pulled the same thing with the audio system. Completely cut off the sound and couldn't tell me which button she had pushed to screw up the system like that.

[Qrrrbrbirbel]

On 2005-11-09 07:48, KodiaX987 wrote:
Mom: "Hey, I lost the little internet explorer icon in my quick launch bar. How do I get it back?"
Me: "...First, how did you manage to do this?"
Mom: "...I... don't know..."


She once pulled the same thing with the audio system. Completely cut off the sound and couldn't tell me which button she had pushed to screw up the system like that.



Sounds like you need a sword that has +6 against Mom. With fire of course, always have fire.

[Derek0660]

On 2005-11-09 21:56, Qrrrbrbirbel wrote:

Sounds like you need a sword that has +6 against Mom. With fire of course, always have fire.



no, you've got it all wrong! you need a brand +10 (cause you only need to attack one person). and with ice (to freeze her into not saying anything stupid).

[KodiaX987]

Mom operates the gas fireplace.

Mom: Can you come here for a second?
Me: What is it?
Mom: Can you tell me if the switch I turned controls the flame or the fan?
Me: ...Wait, you turned the switch already?
Mom: Yeah. Can you tell me what it controls? I can't see it
Me: Where are your glasses? You don't have your classes on?
Mom: No.
Me: ...Jesus Christ, by chance there wasn't a big red button.
Mom: What?

[Kuea]

<_<

reading all these things shuri makes me laugh so hard XD

I just hope she don't end up blowing up your hoe :<

[KodiaX987]

Mom: Hey, I'll need to use your printer to print my document. I'm out of ink.
Me: OK, stick it on the desktop, I'll grab it using the network.
Mom: How do I do that?
Me: Copy-paste.

Mom: ...OK, I tried doing it but it didn't work.
Me: Aw man... OK, where did you save your thing?
Mom: I saved it in Word.
Me: No, I mean, where on the computer.
Mom: Well, I saved it in Word!
Me: NO! Where, on the computer! On the hard disk!
Mom: But I saved it in word!!
Me: ...Screw this, you saved it in My Documents I'm sure.
Mom: ...But I thought I had saved it in Word...
Me: Mom, there's no Word directory on a computer.

I navigate to My Documents, where she has been saving several documents for the past 3 years, and copy the file to my computer using drag-and-drop.

Mom: Hey! Why did you drag and drop?!
Me: It copies the file.
Mom: But you told me to to CTRL+C and CTRL+V!
Me: I proceed differently.
Mom: But if you had told me to drag and drop, I'd have done that instead and it would have worked!!!
Me: Mom, they do the exact same thing.
Mom: I'm pretty sure they don't...


Weird, the more she uses the computer, the more obnoxious she gets. I couldn't believe my ears this morning.

[KodiaX987]

Followup to the fireplace gig.

Mom: I turned off the gas to the fireplace, is that all right?
Me: Waddya mean? Did you turn off the pilot light switch?
Mom: No. Should I have done that too?
Me: When you turn off the barbecue, do you leave the burner switches on?
Mom: ....No?...
Me: Right. Go turn off the pilot light switch.
Mom: OK, where is it? I don't know the button on the box.

There is only one button on the box. Guess what it is.

Me: Just put on your damn glasses and read the labels.
Mom: Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KodiaX987 on 2005-11-21 17:36 ]</font>

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Shuri, hide the scissors, hide the lighters/matches so the house doesn't explode, and get a mp3 player with recording capabilities and create a blogcast of these events.

They sound too ridiculous to be true and hearing them aloud with full expressions and voice would be laugh out loud funny. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2005-11-23 00:44 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

I'd do that gladly if French wasn't the house language. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[Dek]

On 2005-11-23 05:37, KodiaX987 wrote:
I'd do that gladly if French wasn't the house language. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif


Do it anyways...

Works great for those studying the language http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Anyways, do the best you can to keep that little spark of sanity lit for a little while longer...

After all, the holidays (in Canadian terms) are approaching... http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

(or at least Christmas IIRC >_> )


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Arthas_Zero on 2005-11-23 07:54 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

My mom has this nasty habit of calling me for help and then think about what she wants to do only when I actually show up.

Here's a healthy prime example:

Mom: Can you come up here? I need you for just two minutes.
Me: Two minutes?
Mom: Yeah.

I'm busy. Five minutes later, I come up. Mom has to place a large bucketed plant on top of a square rock to raise it.

Me: All right, let's do this.
Mom: Wait! I need to figure this out first... OK, so, we should place that rock in a bag... no, actually we won't. OK, give me a minute so I can get in there... Now does one us us raise it and the other places the rock? Or should we each pick one side of the bucket and push the rock with our foot? Oh wait, I don't wanna scrape the floor, let me go get a piece of wood to put under the rock... Where was that piece of wood? Hold on, lemme search for it...

Ten minutes later, we actually pick up the plant and put it on the rock.

Me: That took a lot more than two minutes...
Mom: Well SORRY!!!

[TheOneHero]

Sounds like those people who go to a fast food place and wait till they're at the window to figure out what they want.

I like your mom.

[Blue-Hawk]

Kind of makes me realize that I don't live in a dysfunctional family, although you should hear a few between my friend and HIS mother, or worse, his sister. >_< I could post a few, but I might get banned for inapropriate (sp?) content.

[KodiaX987]

That's what PMs are for. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[navci]

On 2005-12-01 10:14, Blue-Hawk wrote:
Kind of makes me realize that I don't live in a dysfunctional family.



Shuri's family is hardly dysfunctional now really.
His mom is prolly just being a mom in the annoying way, and prolly bored and lonely and just want a conversation with her son to last more than 3 words.
Come on people.

[Maridia]

Yeah, like all your parents don't do silly crap. It's just easier to laugh and stuff when Shuri points it out so obviously. My mom is just as bad as his, but I try my best to forget when she does crazy crap ;P

[anwserman]

On 2005-12-01 08:35, TheOneHero wrote:
Sounds like those people who go to a fast food place and wait till they're at the window to figure out what they want.

I like your mom.



No.
Telling a customer that their total comes to $4.57, and they're waiting in line.

After two minutes of waiting, they pull up to the window and THEN fumble around their wallet/purse to get their cash. http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

[KodiaX987]

My mom doesn't know what she wants - or at least until something's imposed on her.

Mom: We could go to the store either before or after lunch. What do you think?
Me: Let me finish that vacuum cleaning and get dressed and I'll be ready. We're leaving at 10 o' clock.
Mom: (in a suicidal voice) Oh... Okayyyy...



She also is a money double-standard aficionado.

Me: Oh, what's that? (I grab a case of beer.) I heard it's really good, let's give it a shot.
Mom: This pack is twelve bucks! I understand it's an imported brand but good God... You buy beer that's too expensive.
Me: (sharply:) And what about the bottles of wine you buy at sixty bucks apiece?
Mom: Moving on!...

That didn't stop her from complaining to the cashier that I liked to buy expensive beer.

Then as we were heading home...

Mom: You don't look happy. What's going on?

[rena-ko]

seriously, i'd kill you for your mom.

[Rion772]

On 2005-12-21 12:21, rena-ko wrote:
seriously, i'd kill you for your mom.


I second that statement.

[Dek]

On 2005-12-21 12:19, KodiaX987 wrote:

She also is a money double-standard aficionado.

Me: Oh, what's that? (I grab a case of beer.) I heard it's really good, let's give it a shot.
Mom: This pack is twelve bucks! I understand it's an imported brand but good God... You buy beer that's too expensive.
Me: (sharply:) And what about the bottles of wine you buy at sixty bucks apiece?
Mom: Moving on!...

That didn't stop her from complaining to the cashier that I liked to buy expensive beer.

Then as we were heading home...

Mom: You don't look happy. What's going on?


Sad...

You do not know how muhc pity and mercy I have for you right now, especially when I relate to such a situation... http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Arthas_Zero on 2005-12-21 19:37 ]</font>

[Rion772]

Me and my mom have these talks as well, so I know how you feel kodia.

A bad, but good example (???) is this:

ME: Are you getting me my Y membership for xmas?
MOM: No... It's too much money...
ME: It's $220! You JUST bought a $170 futon and $190 sterio...
MOM: I'm sorry it's just too much...
ME: So what are you getting me?
MOM: I'm not telling.
ME: But I only asked for a Y membership...how are you gonna get me things I didn't ask for?
MOM: ...

I told her if she wasn't going to get me the membership I didn't want anything else, it's all I wanted. Not that I'm complaining, I knew I wasn't getting much this year but I mean COME ON! I KNOW she has the money, she has atleast $2,000 in her bank...There's a ton of conversations we have like this.

[navci]

On 2005-12-21 17:47, Rion772 wrote:

I told her if she wasn't going to get me the membership I didn't want anything else, it's all I wanted. Not that I'm complaining, I knew I wasn't getting much this year but I mean COME ON! I KNOW she has the money, she has atleast $2,000 in her bank...There's a ton of conversations we have like this.



I'd like to remind everyone here just because you have 2000 bucks in your bank doesn't mean you can use them all. If you live in a house, what about paying morgage? Car? Gas? Food? Maintainance for everything throughout the year? Just because the money is there doesn't mean that it is available to use for leisure.

[Rion772]

On 2005-12-21 19:38, navinator wrote:


On 2005-12-21 17:47, Rion772 wrote:

I told her if she wasn't going to get me the membership I didn't want anything else, it's all I wanted. Not that I'm complaining, I knew I wasn't getting much this year but I mean COME ON! I KNOW she has the money, she has atleast $2,000 in her bank...There's a ton of conversations we have like this.



I'd like to remind everyone here just because you have 2000 bucks in your bank doesn't mean you can use them all. If you live in a house, what about paying morgage? Car? Gas? Food? Maintainance for everything throughout the year? Just because the money is there doesn't mean that it is available to use for leisure.



Yes but we live in one of my grandfathers apartment, basically for free. She has the money, she just won't spend it, and she has money to spend, extra money.

[KodiaX987]

Mom writes dates on her bill envelopes to remember when to pay them. Sometimes I do it too, sometimes I don't.

Today, I must write a date on an envelope. Don't ask me why.

Me: Oh? (Picks up envelope, opens it.) A bill from the motor vehicle bureau.
Mom: When's it due?
Me: End of January. (I keep the bill itself and throw everything into the garbage.)
Mom: Hey wait, your envelope.
Me: That's OK.
Mom: But you need it! (She reaches into the garbage can and grabs the envelope.)
Me: I don't need it, I'm fine.
Mom: But you need to write the date on it.
Me: But I--
Mom: Take it!

[EphekZ]

On 2005-12-22 17:54, Rion772 wrote:


On 2005-12-21 19:38, navinator wrote:


On 2005-12-21 17:47, Rion772 wrote:

I told her if she wasn't going to get me the membership I didn't want anything else, it's all I wanted. Not that I'm complaining, I knew I wasn't getting much this year but I mean COME ON! I KNOW she has the money, she has atleast $2,000 in her bank...There's a ton of conversations we have like this.



I'd like to remind everyone here just because you have 2000 bucks in your bank doesn't mean you can use them all. If you live in a house, what about paying morgage? Car? Gas? Food? Maintainance for everything throughout the year? Just because the money is there doesn't mean that it is available to use for leisure.



Yes but we live in one of my grandfathers apartment, basically for free. She has the money, she just won't spend it, and she has money to spend, extra money.




You aren't supposed to tell anyone want you want except santa. Seriously, You are being a jerk. She doesn't have to get you anything. Christmas isn't a law keep that in mind.

What's this Y membership anyways? sounds like some crazy masochist cult.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2005-12-23 22:49 ]</font>

[navci]

On 2005-12-22 17:54, Rion772 wrote:

Yes but we live in one of my grandfathers apartment, basically for free. She has the money, she just won't spend it, and she has money to spend, extra money.



Not all money has to be spent on you. Get over it.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: navinator on 2005-12-23 20:21 ]</font>

[Solstis]

I know that these Y memberships are expensive. My s/o gave me ze scoop.

Yeah, if your grandmother's getting old, she may need that extra cushion just in case something bad happens. Medical emergencies, leaking roof, seepage in the basement, car accident... many, many things that people need to prepare for. Actually, if you have room, a small weight set would be a lot cheaper (I think).

[KodiaX987]

Today, I did several things on mom's computer.

First things first: mom's computer was a mess. It actually CHOKED, as in, half-froze for a split-second. It used to do this once in a while, and now it does it constantly. Listen to an MP3 to have it stutter all the time. Shit had to be done.

I backed up her documents and contact list, formatted her drive, installed Windows 2000 Pro, changed her over to Mozilla Firefox and Thunderbird and update all relevant things. I also backed up her contact list, photos and Word documents to my portable hard drive and imported them after the installations were complete.

That took more than a day and robbed me of whatever sanity I had left in my poor little soul, which I don't believe that full bottle of sake is going to revive tonight.

Me: I transferred your E-Mail addresses and your documents but the favorites got corrupted along the way, so I can't restore them.
Mom: Oh no! But my favorites! They're gone! And where are they now? I can't see a Favorites menu.
Me: It's called Bookmarks now.
Mom: Okay but how does it work?
Me: Same as Favorites. Just the name has changed.
Mom: Oh really?
Me: Yeah, really.
Mom: OK but how about my E-Mails? Are they saved?
Me: No, those I forgot to back-up.
Mom: But how am I going to find everybody back again?
Me: What, what? What do you mean?
Mom: Well, my addresses are gone, so...
Me: Wait, what addresses?
Mom: My E-Mail addresses!
Me: No, your addresses are fine, but the E-Mails are gone.
Mom: Oh no! Well, are you sure about those E-Mails? Are they imported or not? I saw you importing them earlier when you installed this... this Mozillia thing.
Me: Mozilla.
Mom: Yeah, Mozilla. Now about my E-Mails, where's the little window in the bottom-left corner that used to be in my Outlook?
Me: Wait, wait, time out. What do you understand by "E-Mail"?
Mom: (says E-Mail in French)
Me: And my (E-Mail in French), what do you understand?
Mom: E-Mail!
Me: *starts cursing like a sailor*
Mom: What...?
Me: ...Right, let's take it from the top. Paper.
Mom: Now, what do you want me to do...
Me: Paper!
Mom: Okay, okay, I'm ready, now what?
Me: Pencil.
Mom: Yeah, OK, got it.
Me: "Contact lis--" write it down!
Mom: *laughs*
Me: Write it down! "Contact list (E-Mail addresses) have been tranferred and imported."
Mom: I thought you had saved them on your portable hard drive...
Me: I did!
Mom: But then they aren't on my computer...

At this point, I shit you guys not, I broke down and cried. I LAUGHED and I CRIED at the same time. Believe me, if you want to postulate for a maximum security insane asylum, there is nothing more convincing than laughing and crying all at once.

In the meantime, my mother does as if nothing at all was happening, so while I was weeping on the keyboard...

Mom: And my documents, where are they? Did you put them back in the same place?
Me: OH GOD I DON'T KNOW!
Mom: But if you look into--
Me: I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!!

[Eihwaz]

Your mom is such a sweetie. XD

[KodiaX987]

Mom: Hey, you know, when you do the quotation marks? Well, I tried pressing Shift Period as usual but it put in a period only. Do you think there's a bug or is it because it's different between Windows 98 and Windows 2000?... Or maybe it's because I don't have the right language setti--
Me: Did you try Shift with other keys?
Mom: No... should I?

[KodiaX987]

Today, I show my mom a video of two Asians lip-synching on YouTube Idol (http://www.youtubeidol.com). Video E.

Mom: Are they from Kitchener?
Me: What makes you think that?
Mom: Well, there are Asian people in Kitchener...
Me: o_O;;

[sprky585]

On 2006-03-23 03:13, KodiaX987 wrote:
Today, I show my mom a video of two Asians lip-synching on YouTube Idol (http://www.youtubeidol.com). Video E.

Mom: Are they from Kitchener?
Me: What makes you think that?
Mom: Well, there are Asian people in Kitchener...
Me: o_O;;

your mom sounds like quite the character http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

[KodiaX987]

I don't really need to explain this one.

Mom: God DAMN I'm stupid!!

[Jive18]

At least you two agree on something http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif.

[KodiaX987]

This one was quite funny.

Mom has started to serve humongous broccoli and coliflower instead of several smaller ones for dinner. So I decide to laugh about it.

Me: Mom, answer me one question. How the hell did this coliflower get into your car?
Mom: Haha!
Me: And that broccoli, damn, did it even fit inside the Club Price? I feel like I'm eating Africa right now!
Mom: Well, eating Africa is good for your health.
Me: !!!

[opaopajr]

I love your mom! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/pandaroll.gif Many mothers have that endearing "Edith Bunker" airhead alternate personality. It's the one they bring out when they like to be pampered by the loved ones in their life. She's probably twice as fast on her feet when it really counts, if not faster.

But I know that when I get older technology is going to become just as baffling as it is now to the older people in my family. There's just something about new technology that just becomes cumbersome as you get older. Looking at new games and controllers and seeing all the buttons I have to press just to make my character go makes me tired now. And cell phones just have far too many options than I care to bother with. Give me about 30 years and I too will probably have no patience with the new fandangled doohickies with accompanied widgets and their extra bells and whistles. Give me a good-humored child with the patience of Job and I'm good to go. I'll gladly cook his cauliflower and wash his undies to make the nasty and confusing computer thingies go away.

[KodiaX987]

...And once again, she demonstrates that her plans always fail to include the other people involved in it.

Mom: By the way, we should get around to fixing the garden.
Me: Yeah, sure, when do you plan on doing it?
Mom: Now.
Me: ...Mom, you really ought to warn me in advance when you decide on stuff like that.
Mom: But it depends on my availability!
Me: Availability?! You're home all day everyday for fuck's sake!!

I wonder what'll happen the time she absolutely needs me for something important right away and finds out I'm gone for the day for whatever reason.

[KodiaX987]

Well, there's a followup... http://www.shurikane.com/wacove.gif

Mom: Since you ABSOLUTELY want to be warned in advance, we might go finish up the garden this afternoon.
Me: Uh, oh, OK, right - what time do you have in mind?
Mom: Well, I dunno! Depends.
Me: We'll do it right after lunch. Depends on what anyway?
Mom: Well, you know, the phone might ring or someone at the doorbell, or my washload finishing up - or there! I'm going to the grocery store right now to fetch bread for dinner!
Me: You are home 24 hours a day or almost. It's really not so difficult to plan out at least a time for something, give or take half an hour even.
Mom: So you say!
Me: ...Just go.

[Zarode]

ogod. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif I have a mother just like you. Only one thing that is worse. She has a horrible temper. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif Not only does she do and say stupid stuff, she'll get frustrated and pissed (kind of a difference around her...) after a while. I would give clippets, but I don't like to linger on it. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[KodiaX987]

Thank God my mom isn't a practitioning religious or else she'd be all over me. Just watch her convictions with fruits:

Mom: *hands me a mango* Here.
Me: Th-- wait, I don't like mango.
Mom: You don't like mango?
Me: Nope.
Mom: I thought you did.
Me: No, I don't.
Mom: Are you really really sure?
Me: Yes I'm sure.
Mom: But I could've sworn you loved mango...
Me: Mom, I think I'm pretty damn well placed to know what I like and don't like.
Mom: *grunts* Well guess I'll just give you a boring ol' apple as usual. Still, I could've sworn...

[Sord]

bwahaha, your mother infliction of stupidness on you is so funny. Ironicly, my mom pulled a really stupid number on me while I was reading the fireplace conversation.

I had brought up to my mom previously that I want to get my hearing checked, I've already been made deaf in my right ear from a surgery. I think I might be losing some in my left (the whole things a genetic defect) so I wanted to go back.

Mom: so what side is your hearing going down on?
Me: Uh, mom, I'm deaf in my right ear, there is only one other side!
Mom: really, I thought you could still hear in your right ear
Me: Noooo, the doctor said it is gone, if it wasn't, I could use a hearing aid and the doctor would have said otherwise
Mom: oh, right...

Maybe she just had a memory lapse, but how do you forget your son has been completely deaf in his right ear after nealy a year (june 2 is anniv.) of me not having any idea where sounds are coming from or not hearing what you said and have you repeat it 3 times >_<

[Nixia]

On 2005-11-23 05:37, KodiaX987 wrote:
I'd do that gladly if French wasn't the house language.

I'd be fine! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif

Your mom is awesome! XD




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Nixia on 2006-06-07 01:07 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

Yesterday:

Mom: Well, we got everything ready for the soil delivery on Thursday. That leaves us tomorrow to take a break.



Today:

I wake up just as mom comes back from picking up garden stuff at the shop. She calls me up for 15 minutes to go and help her with a bit of measurement and I end up being outside for 1:30 hours, after which she goes pick up more garden items at the shops.

She comes back and we eat lunch.

Then she leaves to go do even more shopping and warns me that I'll need to help her on "a little thing" when she comes back.

I seriously can't fathom how she managed to forget about enough tasks to fill an entire day (even though that topsoil delivery had been scheduled two weeks ago) and recall it right as she woke up this morning.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KodiaX987 on 2006-06-14 09:48 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

Planning a flight to the US...

Mom: Since you don't have a passport, better find out what alternative document you could show to the US customs...
Me: Why don't I just go and get a passport?
Mom: What for? Pay all that money for a flight you'll do just once and then you'll most likely not go to the US during the next two or three years? Come on. There has to be a cheaper way.

We leave for a friend's house. Friend's wife is an airline stewardess and tells us a birth certificate will do the job.

Mom: You know what? She doesn't know what she's talking about. Besides, she works for Alitalia. Why don't you give your brother a call? At least he works for Air Canada. Maybe we won't need a birth certificate after all.

So I do that.

Brother: I wouldn't know, man. If you directly call Air Canada, you should get your answer. I know the people at reservations are supposed to know that.

So I call Air Canada.

Reservation Agent: For the US, a driver's license with photo is the best there can be for customs aside from a passport.

Mom: I don't trust that reservation agent one bit... That can't be right, there's no way you can get into the US simply by showing them a driver's license. Here, call Delta.

So I call Delta.

Delta Agent: A driver's license will do. If you can get your hands on your birth certificate, it'll be even better.

Mom: I don't believe it.

Me: For fuck's sake mom, next time I'll just go get a passport and be done with it.
Mom: But it's expensive!!
Me: That is the least of my worries right now. I am getting this fuckin' passport. End of story. At least for the next five years you'll stop calling bullshit everytime I ask someone what I need to get into United States.

[KodiaX987]

Mom: OK, your aunt just called, she won't be bringing anything to Dany's party tomorrow.
Me: Oh? How come?
Mom: Dany called her. She said not to bring any gifts whatsoever.
Me: Ah, good. One less thing to worry about.
Mom: I wonder if I should bring the chocolate-covered sunflower seeds or the hazelnut bars...
Me: Wait, didn't she say not to bring anything?
Mom: Yeah, so?
Me: Well... we don't bring anything.
Mom: ...You don't understand, do you?
Me: Well, Dany said not to bring anything, so we don't bring anything.
Mom: Listen, we have to bring something even if she says not to bring anything.
Me: So... Dany says not to bring anything, so you bring something?
Mom: Correct.
Me: .......fucking women!!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KodiaX987 on 2006-08-01 20:04 ]</font>

[navci]

On 2006-08-01 20:02, KodiaX987 wrote:

Mom: Listen, we have to bring something even if she says not to bring anything.
Me: So... Dany says not to bring anything, so you bring something?
Mom: Correct.
Me: .......fucking women!!



It is actually not so much women as it is in stupid customs. Chinese does the same thing. They are all like pretending to not want gifts, but then actually they do. But they say it so it doesnt seem that they are greedy, but you bring a gift anyway. And then they'd say "oh you shouldn't have!" Then if you didn't they'd have hated you forever.

Same with paying for the bill after dinner. Fight! But don't try too hard.

Silly social interactions.

[Firocket1690]

On 2006-08-01 20:13, navci wrote:
It is actually not so much women as it is in stupid customs. Chinese does the same thing. They are all like pretending to not want gifts, but then actually they do. But they say it so it doesnt seem that they are greedy, but you bring a gift anyway. And then they'd say "oh you shouldn't have!" Then if you didn't they'd have hated you forever.

Same with paying for the bill after dinner. Fight! But don't try too hard.

Silly social interactions.



That part about dinner.
I never quite understood that too well.
My grandma will go to extreme lengths to pay. Liek.
I've seen her bite her friend's wrist, when reaching for her purse. >_>;;;

There is such thing as fighting too hard. :o

[KodiaX987]

Well, it's about time I resurrect this old thing.

Today, thank God mom's suspicions proved to be false, or else chances are we'd both be chopped up and dead right now.


So I'm fooling around on the computer downstairs when I hear a shuffle and a bang - as if someone had lost his footing and tripped.

Mom rushes downstairs like the devil's after her.

Mom: Did you hear that?!!
Me: Yeah.
Mom: What could it be?
Me: I dunno.
Mom: Think it's a burglar?
Me: I dunno.
Mom: Think someone's out there?
Me: I dunno.
Mom: Well then what could it be??
Me: I dunno! Turn on the lights, we'll look around.

So we turn the lights on all over inside the house. We probe every room. Nothing broken, no sign of anybody.

Mom: This is weird... it's not natural...
Me: Want me to call the cops and ask them to send an officer our way to give the neighborhood a check?
Mom: No!!!
Me: Are you sure?
Mom: Yes I'm sure! Let's go to bed now!

[KodiaX987]

Mom discovers the joys of eMule.

Mom: So I was looking for something else than SoulSeek 'cause I can't find any of the music I want on it. It KaZaA good?
Me: No.
Mom: Morrrrrr... *tries to read* Mor-phe-us?
Me: Mom, put your glasses on.
Mom: But is Morphething good?
Me: No.
Mom: OK, uh, WinMX?
Me: WinMX is dead.
Mom: Well, okay, uh... Oh, here, eMule. How's that?
Me: Never used it before but never heard bad stuff about it. Worth a shot.
Mom: Okay so can you help me install it?
Me: It should do fine on its own. You just need to click 'Next' a few times...
Mom: ...are you sure?
Me: Yes, I'm sure. Now download it.
Mom: .........................How? I click on it?
Me: Yessssssss!

I go downstairs and get back to the computer. No later than two minutes after I sit down...

Mom: Can you come upstairs for a minute?
Me: What's going on?
Mom: Well, can you teach me how to use that program? It doesn't woooork.
Me: Mom, I've never even SEEN it before.
Mom: ...but can you teach me?

http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_cry.gif

Me: Someday, you'll have to learn how to figure out stuff by yourself.

I go the fuck upstairs to see what's up.

Mom: See, look, I started the program and it doesn't even want to connect.
Me: See the connect button?
Mom: Over there? Yes...
Me: Click on it.
Mom: ....It connected!

She's recently started asking me for help on using her microwave oven. I think I'd be the last fucking person in the world to know how to use a fucking kitchen appliance.

[Kuea]

On 2006-11-12 16:24, KodiaX987 wrote:
Mom: Can you come upstairs for a minute?
Me: What's going on?
Mom: Well, can you teach me how to use that program? It doesn't woooork.
Me: Mom, I've never even SEEN it before.
Mom: ...but can you teach me?

good god shuri, I deal with this EXACT thing with my mother <_<

she asks me to teach her how to use programs I've never even heard of before!

at least I know it isn't only my mom who does that :<

[KodiaX987]

Mom: I'm looking to buy a Dance Dance Revolution game for Greg's daughters this Christmas. What kind of system do they have?
Me: Nintendo Gamecube.
Mom: All right... So if I buy the XBox version, it should work, right?

[Xaos127]

You're quite mean to your mum, who I happen to love.

[Kuea]

shuri... that is priceless >_>

I don't know how sshe cold think xbox would work with GC... nut it's still awesome XD

[KodiaX987]

My car died yesterday...

Mom: So do you want to get your car boosted today and go drive around for a while to recharge the battery, or do you want to have it done tomorrow before school, take the car to the garage, have me come over and pick you up, bring you back home, eat lunch and then have me bring you to the bus station and waste an hour doing all that while we could both be using that time to do whatever else?
Me: Pretty communist choice you've got there, mom...

[Axispoint]

Hahaha. Reminds me of my mom a little (at least with the computer). I once had her argue with me about something on the computer, that she was saying worked some way it doesn't. Finally I just got so fed up with her that I told her that since she evidentally knows more about computers (in the two months she'd been using her own computer that my sis had given her) then someone who's been using those computers for years (since 1998...got my first puter then), that I'd just leave her alone and let her do her thing. I hate it when she used to call me into her computer room every five minutes to help her with something stupid (like how do I send this email? i guess the send button isn't big enough). Especially when those five minutes were during the time I'm in a PVP zone in World of Warcraft. ARgh!

I truely do love your stories, Kodi. Reminds me that I'm not the only one with a mom who can get downright annoying (though I admit, she did have one thing on me before I figured it out: programming the clock on the microwave, which I finally took the time to figure out how to do, though I didn't need an instruction manual to figure it out...).



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Axispoint on 2006-12-08 19:37 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Axispoint on 2006-12-08 19:38 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

Mom learns to play Wii Sports Bowling...

Me: *sets Mii up to be at the far left and aim towards the right*
Mom: Hey wait! What did you just do?
Me: I'm aiming for the far corner over there because my ball curves.
Mom: No I mean, what button did you press?
Me: A. Press A and then you can turn yourself left and right.
Mom: Turn...
Me: Yes, turn.
Mom: I don't understand.
Me: You turn. You turn yourself around.
Mom: Uhhhhhhhhhhh...
Me: TURN! ROTATE! *spins around* YOU FUCKING TURN!
Mom: Ohhhhh, okay! Tuuuuuuuurn!



Mom learns to play Wii Sports Tennis...

Me: Your turn to serve.
Mom: How do I do that.
Me: Swing the remote high up then swing it back down.
Mom: What?
Me: You swing the remote up, as if you were throwing the ball in the air, then you swing down to serve the ball.
Mom: Uhhhhhh... Okayyy... *swings remote in all possible directions.*
Me: No, you don't get it. Look at me. I swing the remote up, see, then I swing it back down, like this.
Mom: Like this? *swings the remote so slowly her Mii doesn't even move* It doesn't work!!!
Me: ..........Hang on, lemme find the manual, where's the manual, manual, manual, manual... Where's that bitch ass cock shit manual of fucking shit... Manual, manual, manual, there, manual, here, look, see the pictures, you swing like that.
Mom: *swings remote in all possible directions. Ball miraculously gets served.* I GOT IT!!!

[KodiaX987]

Mom: The accountant sent me this document, but I can't find it...
Me: Wait, what?
Mom: See, he E-Mailed me this document here *points mouse cursor to file in Mozilla Thunderbird* I saved it but I don't know where!
Me: You're kidding me. OK, try to save the document again.
Mom: Like this? *double-clicks on file and selects "save"*
Me: Yes, now let's see... Why is is in your Christmas pictures folder?!
Mom: ..........I dunno...........

It turns out she had somehow saved her document the first time around in a folder intended to receive Christmas photos. In terms of being off the track, she was almost in the Atlantic Ocean.

Me: Right, OK, close all that up and open up Windows Explorer.
Mom: Windows what?
Me: *sigh* Double-click on My Computer.
Mom: C drive?
Me: Yes. Now double-click on Photos.
Mom: It was in Photos?!!
Me: Yes. Didn't you hear? It was in Christmas photos!
Mom: I didn't know that! OK, Photos, Christmas. *scrolls down extremely fast through the thumbnails* Where is it?
Me: *catches glimpse of document among the thumbnails* Scroll up. Up. Up. Up. More, more, more. Here, there it is. Cut.
Mom: Cut?
Me: Right-click on the document and select "Cut".
Mom: OK, done.
Me: Now go to My Documents.
Mom: *opens up MS Word*
Me: Not that document! The My Documents folder!
Mom: Uhhhhhhhh.... oh! Here! *opens My Documents* But I still have my old version over there, won't it get overwritten?
Me: Here, hand me the mouse for a minute. *moves document to desktop, renames it appropriately, moves it to My Documents. There, your document's in its right place.
Mom: OK!

[Kuea]

ya know shuri, I'd laugh if I didn't have to go through that exact same thing with my mother... http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

how can you save a file for text or a photo in your system32 folder like my mom did, when it was supposed to go to your fesktop? D:

[KodiaX987]

This one is different! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif I'm not really involved in it that much.

Today, mom meets... Ah hell, I leave it up to you guys to figure it out.



Mom: *starts a new online scrabble game called Triceps-Scrabble*

In the Scrabble lingo, this set of rules means you can only use 3 or 7 letters in your rack to make words. No more, no less.

Idiot: I'm not really familiar with this set of rules, can you explain them to me?
Mom: Sure. You're only allowed to make words using 3 letters or a Scrabble.
Idiot: Scrabble?
Mom: A Scrabble is when you use all seven of your letters.
Idiot: OK!

Idiot makes first word... using 6 of her letters, to create a 7 letter word.

Mom: *cancels the move* That's not how it goes. You have to use either 3 or 7 letters from your rack.
Idiot: *makes new word, this time using 4 letters from her rack*
Mom: *cancels the move and PMs the idiot with a full, at length version of the rules of the game*
Idiot: *makes a new word: Fox, using an F already there and... 2 of her own letters*
Mom: *cancels the move* You mustn't make 3 or 7 letter words. What you must do is make words using 3 or 7 of the letters you have in your own rack.
Idiot: OK, I think I understand now! *makes the word... Foxes. Using... 4 of her letters!*
Mom: *cancels the move* Don't you know how to count?!

She calls me up and shows me the contents of her chat history.

Mom: What the hell is up with this?!
Me: Hmmm... Mom, congratulations. You've just met your first n00b. And lemme tell you something: you're gonna be explaining the rules to her for a very, very long time.
Mom: *chuckles and smirks* Yeah, how long?
Me: Forever.

[Thalui89]

Your mum possibly thought that you were just goingf to keep it and only have it altered INCASE you wore it. For instance she may have thought that you would deem it too precious to wear for every day use and therefore store it away as a momento. But i could be wrong.

[KodiaX987]

And you are. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

For those who might still care about that watch, it fell apart into a bajillion pieces on my wrist a few months ago, so it went straight into the trash bin.

[KodiaX987]

[09:59:28] <Shuri|Zzz> Mom: "If possible, I'd like the both of us to go work the garden."
[09:59:30] <Shuri|Zzz> Me: "When?"
[09:59:35] <Shuri|Zzz> Mom: "At ten o' clock."

[SStrikerR]

your mom seems to not be the most colerful crayon in the pack, i mean, you pay to get it fixed to FIT YOU, and your not gonna wear it?

[KodiaX987]

Mom: How does the berries & pomegranate juice taste?
Me: Tastes like shit.
Mom: Strange, it was supposed to taste like grapes.
Me: This juice is made out of BERRIES and POMEGRANATE. FIND THE GRAPES.

[KodiaX987]

I am writing this after just hanging up the phone with an employer who wants me there at nine in the morning sharp, tomorrow. Because I will be wandering in some dusty corridors full of industrial machines, I am told that shorts and a T-Shirt are the preferred wear, as they can and will get dusty and dirty.

Mom: "Know what you should do?"
Me: "I know."
Mom: "You-"
Me: "I know."
Mom: "should-
Me: "I know."
Mom: "bring an-"
Me: "I know."
Mom: "extra-"
Me: "I know."
Mom: "T-Shirt"
Me: "I know what to do, mom."
Mom: "Okay, just checking if you were well prepared."


Nowadays, I answer in the form of "Yes, mother." whenever I'm not even listening and trying to do my best to show it (she remains oblivious).

[darthsaber9x9]

On 2007-05-28 16:54, chuck_norris wrote:
i am sorry but your mother is a total dumbass, thank god your not like her.



That's a bit harsh.

Man I'd love to meet your mum Kodia. But not for too long cos she'd drive me insane ^_^

My mum used to be the same on the compue

[Ithildin]

lol!... I remeber having chats like this with my ex g/f... no wonder we split up... :/

[Solstis]

At least your mother plays a mean game of e-scrabble. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif My mother shies away from computers in general (though she does know how to use them).

[Mixfortune]

On 2007-05-30 00:52, ChaotistRazor wrote:
Yeah, the guy who threw an e-tantrum over hunting says that other people take things too seriously. L.O.L.




On 2007-05-30 19:04, ChaotistRazor wrote:

When was the last time you went outside?

What, you gonna shoot me too?



Irrelevent to the topic and bringing up other locked threads, flaming/baiting, spamming. Any other counts you'd like to introduce? Warning +1.

For more information, check out http://pso-world.com/viewtopic.php?topic=142860&forum=11&0 or PM me if you're having anymore trouble.

Umi_Ryu, multiple counts of flaming/baiting, spamming off topic, be more civil. Verbal warning.

Dikky, spamming off topic, borderline flaming. Verbal warning.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Mixfortune on 2007-05-30 19:36 ]</font>

[Weeaboolits]

Quit flaming up Kodia's topic! It is made of win! D:<

Also, Kodia, your mom is awesome, can I have her autograph? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Ryna]

Let's keep the discussion related to conversations between Kodiax and his mom. If you want to rant about something else, start a new thread.

[Weeaboolits]

Well, that was unique...

At any rate, I'm looking forward to your next post, Kodia, your mom is endlessly entertaining. ;]
(And do let me know about that autograph.)



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ronin_Cooper on 2007-05-30 21:50 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

Today, mom plays No More Heroes.

I figured this would be a no-brainer. Move around a bit, button-mash A, then swing the wiimote once in a while, right?

Right?

Yeah. I kinda forgot I had to re-teach her Wii Sports bowling everytime we played.

Me: Here. I'm gonna let you have a try.
Mom: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah. Here, grab the 'mote. You use the analog stick to move, and you press Z to lock on an enemy.
Mom: Just once?
Me: No, you got to keep it pressed.
Mom: *presses Z and holds*
Me: Well... You can let go of Z for now, the battle hasn't even started yet.
Mom: But I gotta hold on to it during the fight, right?
Me: Right.
Mom: *presses Z and holds*
Me: You're pressing Z again.
Mom: I thought I had to press Z.
Me: No. You do that only when there's an enemy next to you.
Mom: So what does Z do?
Me: It keeps your eyes on your enemy.
Mom: ...What?
Me: It means your guy keeps looking at him. See? (I get up and walk around Mom.) By keeping Z pressed, you move in whichever direction, but you always keep your eyes on your target. Get it?
Mom: Yeah, I think so.
Me: OK. Now, see the big black M that's floating over there? Go to it.
Mom: How?
Me: Use the analog stick.
Mom: OK, what now?
Me: Press A. See the A hovering next to the guy's face?
Mom: No.
Me: It's right here. (I point to it, straight on the screen.) In the speech bubble.
Mom: ...No.
Me: Just press A.

*guitar chord! Whee!*

Me: OK, the battle's about to start. What you must do, is press A to hit people. When they're about to die, an arrow will come up and you'll have to swing the Wiimote in the given direction.
Mom: .......O....K...
Me: Here goes!
Mom: *flails arms around wildly*
Me: No, no, you gotta press A.
Mom: *presses A and holds*
Me: Just tap A. Tap it repeatedly. Tap-tap-tap-tap.
Mom: *taps A even though there's no one in range and she's stuck in part of the scenery*
Me: Well first, move around that thing that's blocking you...
Mom: How?!
Me: The analog stick.
Mom: Where?
Me: On the nunchuck. Left hand! OK, now swing that sword.
Mom: *flails arms around wildly*
Me: No, not the Wiimote. Press A! Press A!
Mom: What?
Me: You press A to swing your sword in the game.
Mom: *finally gets a near-death arrow*
Me: OK now swing the Wiimote in the direction of the arrow.
Mom: What arrow?
Me: You missed it... Keep going...
Mom: *flails arms around wildly*
Me: Press A.
Mom: *presses A and holds*
Me: Tap it. Tap-tap-tap-tap.
Mom: *finally gets another near-death arrow*
Me: See the arrow now?
Mom: No.
Me: It's right here! *points to the arrow*
Mom: That's not an arrow!!
Me: That is an arrow! Swing! Swing it!
Mom: *outstretches her arm slowly*
Me: No, you gotta be brisk. A quick and clean move. Keep going.
Mom: *flails arms around wildly*






...Do I really need to keep torturing you with this one, or did you all get the point by now?

To think she had managed to bust level 120 back in the days of Columns...

[Raine_Loire]

Isn't it funny your mom has been amusing ppl on the forum for like- 3 years now? That's funny in itself. She sounds really cool though... I wasn't allowed to swear at or in front of my parents. I still don't. I automatically censor myself around them. And my mom would cry if I talked to her like she was an idiot... even when she acts... not bright.

[BlaizeYES]

lol... kodia, your mom seems pretty funny. i can definitely tell you two have a pretty strong relationship though, even if most of the time she is oblivious to many things. i think alot of parents are like that though... every time my mom calls me, she asks if i need toilet paper and beef ravioli, because apparently when i was younger i liked beef ravioli. so now i'm prepared for 2 months with ravioli and toilet paper in the event of a nuclear holocaust.

[SStrikerR]

That was a BIIIIIG bump. oh well, it was a funny story so i dont care lol
your mom sounds cool, I wish my mother would do something other than yell at me all day XD

[KodiaX987]

Today, we have a double plan. First, a person called me and wanted to meet me for an interview. Due to bad luck, we have been unable to reach each other for a while; I call and he's busy - he calls and I'm busy. I left him a message with my home and cellphone # and am waiting for him to call.

Meanwhile, we are planning on driving downtown to a job fair where I'll have an opportunity to shoot a few more resumes...

Mom: We should leave at 10:00 AM sharp. Get yourself ready.

Going on 10:00...

Me: He isn't calling back. Should we leave anyway?
Mom: Well, he said he was in a meeting. He shouldn't be too long now...

Going on 10:40...

Me: Know what? I'm tired of waiting. I'll just on my cellphone and let's just leave for downtown.
Mom: Hold on!! I haven't taken my shower or anything!!

[Sord]

been awhile since I've seen this thread, thank god my mother is computer literate (at least enough so to do basic stuff.)

[KodiaX987]

Me: "My computer doesn't want to start."
Mom: "How did you find out your computer had this problem?"

[KodiaX987]

100th post.

And this one is with a bang.

First of all, a little one to warm yourself up.

Mom: Come with me. We're going for a ride.
Me: What's going on?
Mom: There's this place that sells firewood and I want to jot down their phone number.
Me: ...And what concerns me in that, exactly?
Mom: You're gonna drive so I can take the phone number down from the passenger seat.
Me: Can't you just stop the car next to the advertisement panel?
Mom: What?! No! You just DON'T DO THAT.

Huh. OK. I never knew stopping the car to look at an ad board and jot down the phone number of the business was socially unacceptable. I guess I don't know all the subtle laws and guidelines of countryside village people.

And now, to the main course. Midway through a conversation...

Me: This reminds me of--
Mom: I remember she had gotten married afterwards.
Me: This reminds me--
Mom: She had a kid too. I wonder if I had told you before?
Me: ...This reminds me of back at the--
Mom: I don't know if we should call them. It's been so long. I'm not sure I want to see them, actually...
Me: ...
Mom: ...Aren't you going to finish?
Me: Nevermind. I'm done.
Mom: You had something you wanted to say.
Me: Forget it. You've cut me off three times already.
Mom: Oh, I've only cut you off TWICE!
Me: ...Are you kidding me?
Mom: What?
Me: Look, why do you think I don't go to your family parties anymore? I get interrupted. All the time. I can't ever place a word.
Mom: What?! Do you seriously think you're the only person who gets interrupted in this world? People cut each other off all the time on a constant basis.
Me: No. Fuck that. I don't buy it. Maybe that's the way your side of the family operates. Doesn't work that way where I come from. At least people shut up until you're done with your sentence.
Mom: *gives me a look and a mocking smirk*
Me: What now? Why are you smiling exactly?
Mom: You complicate your life.
Me: If that means not getting cut off all the fucking time, I'll take the complication any day.
Mom: Whatever.


We have one more outing in September, and I already assume it'll be a torture. We're going to see a play, and I know exactly how it'll go: she'll complain that it was disappointing, will say that whichever other play was much better (even though she also panned it before) and will want to arrive a full hour in advance in order to find a parking spot that is within a thirty-second walk to the front door of the theater, leaving us with nothing to do in the meantime except wait for the doors to open.

I plan this to be the last outing we ever do, and I will systematically refuse all subsequent ones. And as usual, she'll openly wonder why I refuse to keep company with her.

Take a wild fucking guess, woman.

[beatrixkiddo]

My mom plays e-scrabble too :wacko:

[Broodstar1337]

lol why do you do this to yourself?

[KodiaX987]

1) Mom decides, for some reason unknown to me and that she refuses to explain, to stop using Thunderbird and start using Outlook Express.
2) Mom moves a single of her four(!) E-Mail accounts to Outlook Express.
3) Mom decides this isn't what she wants, so she removes that account and puts in another one.
3) Mom comes to the conclusion that account #1, she doesn't really use it at all so she decides to delete it.
4) Mom finds out that by doing so, she also deletes two years of stored E-Mails in Thunderbird.
5) Mom pesters me for a half-hour because she doesn't know what to tell her ISP's tech support.



Oh yes, and...



[10:30 AM] <Mom> We're leaving at 11:30.
[10:45 AM] <Mom> We're leaving at 11:15.
[11:00 AM] <Mom> OMG WERE LATE WERE LEAVIN NOW GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

[gorefiend]

After my father's death, mom and I stumbled onto a few wristwatches that he used to wear. We hadn't paid any attention to them while we were moving, so it's only a year later that we actually open the box and find the watches in them.

I find one I like. I pick it up and asks the family if anyone else was interested on it. No one was, so I claimed the watch as mine. Only, the chain bracelet was too long. So, I brought it to a jewelry shop to have it shortened.

A few weeks later, I go to check up on the watch and they tell me they are having problems working with it, and that it isn't ready yet. I come back home, briefly listen to my mom's rant about the jewelry guys being incompetent, then she asks me this:

Mom: "But then, you weren't gonna wear that watch anyway, right?"
Me: "What?"
Mom: "I thought you weren't planning on wearing that watch."
Me: "...Mom, if I go get a watch fixed, it's because I'll be wearing the fuckin' watch!


http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

Parents...

i'd use the whole its a tribute to dad.

Me and my dad once had a fight

Dad- your going to work tomorrow?
me-nope =D
Dad-cool so you can help me at work
Me-what?
Dad-you just said you'll help
Me-no...i didnt
Dad-yeah you did you said yeah i'll help.
Me- well im going into geelong tomorrow with friend's
Dad-Oh they can work with you .
Me-*yelling*no! i have no work tomorrow now i am going to my girlfriends good bye
*goes grabs clothes, guitar etc.
Dad-hey where you going?
Me-oh for fucks sake
*walks out*

[SStrikerR]

Funny stuff. Your mom's hilarious, dude.

[raikomaru40]

Anybody else have one of those moms who talks about sex ed just to watch you squirm?

[MetaZedlen]

Good thing I don't have to deal with this shit from either of my parents...

My mom used to be that crazy before I moved out, but now that she has gotten used to me being gone, she has mellowed waaaaaaaaaaaay out.

[zfighter14]

Anybody else have one of those moms who talks about sex ed just to watch you squirm?

YEA!!! I DO!!!! i swear parents(MOM) REALLY don't think we don't know this stuff!!

[SStrikerR]

YEA!!! I DO!!!! i swear parents(MOM) REALLY don't think we don't know this stuff!!

Err.....that's English but I still don't know what you said. I see double negatives in there.

[zfighter14]

Err.....that's English but I still don't know what you said. I see double negatives in there.

oh jeez mr. correct.... ok ok ok. i think moms/dads think we don't know the concept of sex... better?

[Adriano]

Atleast it's good that you documented this Kodia, for those of us without parents to talk to, I'm sure it would be nice to have a little reminder of things that were said between us and our parents.


And I almost died reading the beginning pages of this thread.

[SStrikerR]

oh jeez mr. correct.... ok ok ok. i think moms/dads think we don't know the concept of sex... better?

Yes better. It's not that everything has to be correct, but understanding things becomes much harder when you've got double negatives among other things.

[KodiaX987]

Mom: *hands me a camera* You're going to take pictures of us at the party.
Me: Why me?
Mom: I don't like taking pictures.
Me: Me neither.
Mom: So?


:disapprove:

[navci]

This thread is still active whoa?

Hey at least if you're taking the pictures, you don't have to be IN the pictures. :>

[KodiaX987]

Like mother, like daughter...

Mom wasn't too pleased with being the de facto host of the New Year party outside of her own knowledge, so she formulated her displeasure quite early on...

Mom: *raises champagne glass* Here's to the party happening somewhere else next year!
Family: *laughs*
Grandma: ...You're moving?

[MetaZedlen]

^ I woke my dad up laughing at that

[KodiaX987]

Here's a convo that happened while my mom was upstairs in her bedroom and I was downstairs in the living room:

Mom: I HAVE TO PEE!!!
Me: THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW!

[Vanzazikon]

Was the restroom occupied?

[KodiaX987]

There are three restrooms in the house.

Two people live in it.

Do the math. :wacko:

[Vanzazikon]

:lol:

[KodiaX987]

I realized something.

When my mother calls me up to do some sort of job for her, she calls me up in a voice that seems more appropriate to a woman in heat calling her husband to bed for some wild sex.

Today, something happened but rather than spend time writing it, I'll quote a previous post and let you all do the math.



[10:30 AM] <Mom> We're leaving at 11:30.
[10:45 AM] <Mom> We're leaving at 11:15.
[11:00 AM] <Mom> OMG WERE LATE WERE LEAVIN NOW GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

[darkante]

I realized something.

When my mother calls me up to do some sort of job for her, she calls me up in a voice that seems more appropriate to a woman in heat calling her husband to bed for some wild sex.

Today, something happened but rather than spend time writing it, I'll quote a previous post and let you all do the math.

Sounds retarded, but ok. Fun :S

[SStrikerR]

I realized something.

When my mother calls me up to do some sort of job for her, she calls me up in a voice that seems more appropriate to a woman in heat calling her husband to bed for some wild sex.

Today, something happened but rather than spend time writing it, I'll quote a previous post and let you all do the math.

<----- Must be stupid.
Or doesn't feel like reading :wacko:

[Tessu]

My mom does things similar to the aforementioned, though it's more subtle. See, each morning I have to leave at 6:15 AM if I want to get to school on time, and so then she'll wake me up at 5:30 and tell me we have 10 minutes to go before we need to leave.

FML

[KodiaX987]

Mom must be the only person in the world to completely, utterly fail at the easiest console in the world: the Nintendo Wii.

-Failed to find the power button on the console.
-Failed to recognize which way was up on the wiimote.
-Failed to find the A button.
-Failed to notice the on-screen instructions (much less follow them)
-Failed to associate the wiimote drawing telling her to press A and B with the wiimote held in her hand.
-Plays tennis by wildly flailing her arms around at random in the hope that she will strike the ball.
-Serves by also wildly flailing her arms around.
-Cannot comprehend that two of her can exist on the tennis court at once.
-...Much less realize that both of her Miis will swing simultaneously when she swings the wiimote.

[Randomness]

Um... wow.

And people call the Wii family friendly.

[Vanzazikon]

I blame Kodia for this. When she gave birth to him, he stoled 80% of her brain cells. :E

[KodiaX987]

Over the phone...

Mom: I'm on [Joe]'s computer and we can't get the resolution past 640x480. What could be the cause?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: You think it's a virus?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: Could it be a hardware problem?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: Maybe his screen's stuffed up?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: Does he have a video card?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: You think we need to format?
Me: I have no clue.
Mom: Well, what could it be then?!
Me: I have no fucking clue.

[Leviathan]

So is this like a floating sticky?

[Sayara]

Shuri is our resident Rants champion, his bumps often include more content, so its considered acceptable.

[SStrikerR]

Yes, and that's how we like it.
I'd post stupid things my mom does as well, but it wouldn't come off nearly as funny as your posts do. :wacko:

[autumn]

I needed this. Whole thread in one go, laughter ensues.

[jShazBot]

I think their both wrong.

[KodiaX987]

Boss: So, how's your mother getting along with her new boyfriend?
Me: She's... very satisfied.
Boss: I didn't need to know that!
Me: Trust me - me neither...













Meanwhile, elsewhere in Quebec...

BAM
BAM
BAM
BAM
BAM
BAM
BAM

[Outrider]

Wow.


Just... wow.

[Waki Miko Syamemaru!]

God damn. My mother still treats me as if I'm 12 years old. At the fantastic age of 25 she is still telling me what to wear, what to say, what to do, etc, etc. I swear. I need to get out of this f**king house and find my own place to live in...again. Here is how yesterday's conversation went:

Mother figure: I got you some Crocs. Wear them.
Me:Uhhh..ok...
Mother Figure: The don't fit me so you wear them. Also don't you have any shorts? Its hot outside put on some shorts.
Me: I do believe I'm fine. I have my A/C on so everything is hunky dory.
Mother Figure:What?
Me:Huh?
Mother Figure:Anyways what are you doing on Saturday? I'm going to take you shopping WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WAWAWA.
Me: *deep inside my very soul* Oh my god I don't know whats worse. This or being with that gold-digging lard ass I called my fiancee. Jesus tap dancing Christ. If I jump out the window now and haul ass I betcha I can reach Pennsylvania by Saturday. I'm taking that black box of electrical junk I call a PS3 with me. I spent good money on that crap and I'm not about to let it go. Screw women. No seriously. I think they're all like this. I'm gettin a f**king dog. To hell with producing offspring and continuing the family line. I'm doing them ungratefull bastards a favor and not bringing them into this world. Shits gonna go down in 2012 anyways. Eff this noise all together.
Mother Figure: Also I saw Ed again today. I was working in the yard at I think I saw him.
Me: No kiddin. Miriam kept me up all night playing with my phone. I swear, ghosts love electronic stuff.*Inside thought* Jesus, she changed the freakin subject real quick! God damn, I thought I had problems keeping on the subject.
Mother Figure: Really?
Me:M'yea.*Inside thought* God I could go for a beer...and some booty. God I wish I had a woman. I'd so hit that tonight. While chugging a beer like some sorta depraved gluttonous Roman Emporer. I like scotch. Scotch is great. I wish there was a bar around here. F**k I hate this town. I gotta get the hell outta here.

END!

[Outrider]

Mother Figure: Really?
Me:M'yea.*Inside thought* God I could go for a beer...and some booty. God I wish I had a woman. I'd so hit that tonight.

That was a good story. I like how you make it seem like talking to your mom makes you think about having sex.

[thunder-ray]

God damn. My mother still treats me as if I'm 12 years old. At the fantastic age of 25 she is still telling me what to wear, what to say, what to do, etc, etc. I swear. I need to get out of this f**king house and find my own place to live in...again. Here is how yesterday's conversation went:

Mother figure: I got you some Crocs. Wear them.
Me:Uhhh..ok...
Mother Figure: The don't fit me so you wear them. Also don't you have any shorts? Its hot outside put on some shorts.
Me: I do believe I'm fine. I have my A/C on so everything is hunky dory.
Mother Figure:What?
Me:Huh?
Mother Figure:Anyways what are you doing on Saturday? I'm going to take you shopping WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WAWAWA.
Me: *deep inside my very soul* Oh my god I don't know whats worse. This or being with that gold-digging lard ass I called my fiancee. Jesus tap dancing Christ. If I jump out the window now and haul ass I betcha I can reach Pennsylvania by Saturday. I'm taking that black box of electrical junk I call a PS3 with me. I spent good money on that crap and I'm not about to let it go. Screw women. No seriously. I think they're all like this. I'm gettin a f**king dog. To hell with producing offspring and continuing the family line. I'm doing them ungratefull bastards a favor and not bringing them into this world. Shits gonna go down in 2012 anyways. Eff this noise all together.
Mother Figure: Also I saw Ed again today. I was working in the yard at I think I saw him.
Me: No kiddin. Miriam kept me up all night playing with my phone. I swear, ghosts love electronic stuff.*Inside thought* Jesus, she changed the freakin subject real quick! God damn, I thought I had problems keeping on the subject.
Mother Figure: Really?
Me:M'yea.*Inside thought* God I could go for a beer...and some booty. God I wish I had a woman. I'd so hit that tonight. While chugging a beer like some sorta depraved gluttonous Roman Emporer. I like scotch. Scotch is great. I wish there was a bar around here. F**k I hate this town. I gotta get the hell outta here.

END!Umm ok O.o whatever works for you ^^;.

[Waki Miko Syamemaru!]

Yea, I do whatever it takes to not lose my temper. If it works then it works. By thinking of said things (among other things like baskets full of puppies or food) I actually tend to calm down and think things out and not pop a gasket and go on a rampage.

[jShazBot]

Umm...shouldn't we be talking about watches or something?

[Vanzazikon]

Read the whole thread.

[KodiaX987]

Today, mom received a new TV receiver since her previous one was no longer compatible with her service. She was planning on installing it. In the home theater system.

Knowing full well the implications of such a project, I cancelled all my appointments for the afternoon.

Now to describe the initial setup: the VCR, karaoke machine, DVD and receiver are hooked up on the amp, which in turn is hooked to the TV - save for video outputs of course. Additionally, the receiver has a second set of cables going through the wall into the guest room, where mom does her exercises and watches TV at the same time.

Needless to say, the back panel had enough wires to make a benign fall transform into a tentacle rape by sole application of the laws of physics and nothing more.

First of all, I want to let you all know that if you intend to setup a home theater system, NEVER ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT LOOK NEAT. Doing so sacrifices huge amounts of practicality for the sake of a little bit of beauty, and I will instantly go kill myself if someone decides to bitch at me because some wires look out of place. I don't need this shit. I want a system that I can modify quickly and efficiently at any given time. If just getting to the wires takes 30 minutes (like it just did) and requires nothing short of playing a game of Jenga with real-life furniture, then there is a major problem.



Now then, some "things" happened during the setup phase:

-The old receiver has one full HD output and one standard output, thus allowing output to two TVs at the same time. The new one does not. I propose to mom that we directly plug the receiver into the guest room since no one has watched actual TV on the home theater in three years. She refuses and gets to trying to plug nine cables into a device with six jacks.

-I notice the karaoke machine is still plugged in, despite the device having never been used in the past five years. I voice my suggestion to take it out and save ourselves some wire complication. She flat out refuses, claiming "what if there's a party if we want to sing?" For the record, I'm not interested in keeping a douchebag generator around, and neither is the family interested in using it. The TV itself is only used to watch the odd DVD or two per year and to play video games. Nobody cares about singing into a mike. Nobody's even made the proposal. Even my mother's family is at least smart enough that karaoke just plain sucks.

-I then voice my concerns about the VCR, which by now has become the equivalent of a paperweight and has never been used. Ever. She refuses again, claiming "what if I want to record something?" She has mysteriously forgotten that she has a 180-hour PVR machine upstairs.

-Further ahead in the argument, I learn that she wants to mimic her initial setup by principle. She believes nothing should be changed and nothing in the world will make her budge. Neverminding the fact that, out of five devices, three do nothing year-round but suck up juice and jack up the bills. She returns to attempting to fit nine cables into six jacks on the receiver.

-I wait and yawn on a couch while she begins cussing at the home theater setup. I am not touching that shit with a ten foot pole at this point. Not until I get the green light to do whatever I want.

-She finally gives up and orders me to do it. She makes it clear that she wants to watch TV both on the home theater and in the guest room. I make a last ditch attempt to convince her that this is physically impossible. She does not believe me and is hellbent on making this work.

-I elect to disregard the guest room and focus on making it work on the home theater. I plug the cables. Meanwhile, I finally convince her to let go of the damn VCR. I re-attempt a shot at the karaoke. She agrees to have it unplugged, but she refuses to take it out. She wants the power disconnected and nothing else.

-So, in short, my mother believes that she will eventually need to use the VCR, the receiver and the karaoke machine on the home theater, at some point in time that will practically never exist. In response, she interrupts me mid-sentence by picking up the phone and placing a call, ignoring me altogether.

-I finish the cables and get out of this mess. The receiver is outputting a sine wave and a setup screen, signifying it's in setup phase. Mom finishes her call, then dials the TV service's support line so she can give them the required numbers to finish the setup. It goes like this...

Support: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Mom: I have replaced an obsolete receiver and want to register the new one.
Support: All right, if you'll please give me the model and registration number.
Mom: Model XXXX, registration number XXXXXXX.
Support: Thank you. It'll take from one to three hours for the setup to complete and for the receiver to begin working. Is that OK with you?
Mom: Oh yeah. I don't plan on using this receiver anyway.
Support: Well then that's pretty much it. Have a good day ma'am.

Back up for a minute. Mom told her TV company that she was installing a receiver that she was never planning to use.

So much for money. I mentally thank myself for never giving her my debit card's PIN despite her repeated requests.

-In the end, she wants to set up the receiver for the guest room as well, despite the picture and sound having blanked out while the receiver downloads the information it needs to work. I advise against it. Fortunately for me, she does not attempt to argue.

[Tessu]

I think I threw up a bit in my mouth.

[SStrikerR]

You should show your mom what you've been typing up the past 4 years, haha.


Lol, karaoke.

[Delete]

Wow, sounds like ya hate your mom.

[Nitro Vordex]

Is your mom like mentally retarded in any way?

Seriously.

[Randomness]

My god... I'm so glad I have basically free reign with electronics in the house... because nobody else ever bothered to figure them out. Not that much gets changed, but...

Did you ever run afoul of anyone who might have cursed you so that idiocy follows you? Between this thread and the old computer school thread, it makes me wonder.

[KodiaX987]

Mom: "Should we wait until you buy a hard drive for the new computer before we install Windows XP on it?"

[autumn]

>_>
<_<
>_>

At least you find the humor in your silly parent.

[Randomness]

Mom: "Should we wait until you buy a hard drive for the new computer before we install Windows XP on it?"

What? That's sad. If this had been the school thread, I'd have recommended the person be immediately expelled.

[KodiaX987]

Replacing a computer, mom-style. Here are the gems that popped up along the way:

Mom: Do you think the new computer is going to be faster than the older one?

No you dumb bitch, I'm giving you an even slower machine. Yes, computers started out lightning-fast and then some asshole had the bright idea to slow them the fuck down. And in 2010, computers will be so slow you'll have to wait for a week to download a picture!


Mom: Did the printer come with a drivers CD?
Me: Yes. All printers do. Where's yours?
Mom: Gee... I don't know...

And it goes on!

Mom: Hey, do printers come with a manual too? Because if they do, I think I lost mine...



Me: OK, so you need Office, Goldwave, Soulseek, eMule...
Mom: Wait wait wait! I'm not sure I use Soulseek... or is it eMule?
Me: Well, which one?
Mom: I don't know...
Me: Go check.
Mom: Well... which one is Soulseek? I don't know where they are!
Me: Look at the names under the icons.
Mom: But I don't know!!!
Me: See the blue bird?
Mom: .....Yes?
Me: That's Soulseek.
Mom: ...Oh! Okayyyy... And what about the donkey icon?
Me: That's eMule.
Mom: Okay but which one do I use?
Me: Fuck if I know.
Mom: But you're supposed to know!!!
Me: It's not my business to know what you do with your computer.
Mom: Well, you should!

[Fox2Tails]

HAHA this is too funny to read, I wish my mum was like that instead I have one that breaks anything electronic she touches in a week [she set fire to my mouse one time by just using it]

[KodiaX987]

This is my brother on the subject of me buying a new TV:

"Hey man, you got just the spot to wallmount it too. It's gonna be neat and awesome!"



This is mom on the subject of me buying a new TV:

"It's huge!"
"Do you really need that?"
"It's never going to fit."
"It's too expensive!"
"But it's going to bump against the desk!"
"It'll never fit on your stand!"
"What are you trying to do with it?"
"Why don't you get this cheaper wallmount? It doesn't look that flimsy."
"You mean you're going to really be spending your paycheck on that?"
"But your consoles were perfect in the living room!"
"What if the salesman suggests another one?"
"Are you sure this is the best TV for you?"
"I'm certain there's something less expensive that you could get."
"Look, I'm measuring the space. It will not fit!"
"Do you even know the dimensions of what you're buying?"
"Are you sure you don't want to look at the specials in the catalog?"


Somewhere around the fifth attempt to guilt-trip me, I invariably answered "Not your problem."

She didn't get the message.

[Randomness]

Well, I might have thoughts of cost and neccessity run through my mind, but given the person being quoted, I'm going to assume inanity here.

[MattyNator26]

I think that your mom don't really listen to you, and vice versa. Or lacking in listening comprehension. Heh.

dont even get me started on the whole 'family' thing...family? whats that?....my parents hated me so much they DISOWNED ME about 3 weeks ago(which btw is close to the time i started college) parents dont listen....and whats worse is mine didnt think enough of me to support me through my first week of college.......my point being: sometimes parents dont understand and, no matter how hard it may be, you have to move on and focus on the good, not the bad...

[Volcompat321]

dont even get me started on the whole 'family' thing...family? whats that?....my parents hated me so much they DISOWNED ME about 3 weeks ago(which btw is close to the time i started college) parents dont listen....and whats worse is mine didnt think enough of me to support me through my first week of college.......my point being: sometimes parents dont understand and, no matter how hard it may be, you have to move on and focus on the good, not the bad...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O4sSZc2WCU"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O4sSZc2WCU