FanFic: The Difference Between Light and Dark Good and Bad,

[White_Knight]

It was a dreary rainy night on Pioneer 2 as Yami and Kori walked home from their romantic dinner out. Kase was taking care of Black Mage, the little brother to Yami's late ex-girlfriend, so the two had a chance to be alone for a romantic evening out. Kori held her Madams Umbrella up while Yami held her closely as they walked home, Kori had thought to bring the Umbrella after hearing the report of a scheduled shower that night. They were about two blocks from Yami's apartment when a girl in a white night gown, bare feet, blond hair and amber eyes came dashing out of the alley in front of them.

"Excuse me little girl..." Kori says in such a sweet a calming voice. "But shouldn't you be at home right now?"

"Yeah it's rather late for a little girl to be running out and about at this time of night."

The girl turns and looks at them with a look of sheer livid terror on her face of no more than 11 or 12 years of age. Soon after which she shuts her eyes and lets out a scream that forces both Yami and Kori to their knees with their hands over their ears. With a brilliant flash of light that slowly fades into the shape of the little girl she's gone and theirs only a lingering echo of her scream.

"What the heck was that about?" Yami asks as he starts to stand.

"Tell me about it that was weird." Kori agrees as she's helped to her feet.

"We'll have to ask Kase when we get home if she noticed anything unusual out here tonight."

"Yeah." Kori agrees retrieving her Umbrella and shaking the little water that accumulated out of it before returning to the way they were walking prior to the incident.
___________________________

Something that came to me in a dream there's more but I'll wait untill I see peoples reactions to this first before I put more up.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: White_Knight on 2005-11-10 12:37 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: White_Knight on 2005-11-14 08:50 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: White_Knight on 2005-12-05 07:55 ]</font>

[LadyRedComet]

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LadyRedComet on 2005-11-08 18:35 ]</font>

[HUnewearl_Meira]

I'm seeing an odd combination of advanced skills and newbish faults in this. On the one hand, you're making good use of vocabulary, but on the other hand, you've got a few mispellings of fairly common words and the written structure of what you've presented so far could use some work; as LadyRedComet pointed out (and a little harshly, I might add), you just kinda switch from Past Tense to Present Tense without any sort of warning or apparent purpose. Generally speaking, you want to choose a tense and stick with it.

I don't know what format you're writing your work under (though if I had to guess, I'd say you're writing it directly to the forum), but I'd reccomend that you do your writing in Wordpad (makes for good, portable saving and editting over time), and bring it into a word processor such as Word or Word Perfect for spell checking.

I'd also reccomend you consider the criteria of your setting. Perhaps a lot of people wouldn't really think about this (and admittedly, sometimes you take a little license and bend the rules just so you can set up a particular environment), but you've got it raining on a space ship. I'm not altogether clear on this, but I rather anticipate that this doesn't generally happen.

Finally, to prevent confusion, you should be more clear on who is speaking. Generally, you only abandon labelling individual quotations once you've established a sequence of exchange, and even then, generally only when you have a conversation between two characters.


And LRC, a little critique on your work, try to concentrate less on how others are to react to your comments and more on people helpful. The only purpose an "I can't actually help you" post serves is a random bump.

[Xaeris]

Okay, on character introduction; a long winded introduction is not a requirement. However, dumping two characters at the very outset without so much as telling the reader their race (human or newmen?) is a rather...abrupt way of doing it. You should consider an intro that at least presents a few simple features for the reader to base an image around. Height is always a good place to start.

That said, I can't think of anything else not mentioned already. Though personally, I welcome harsh critcism. Spite is among the greatest of motivators after all.

[White_Knight]

As I had said it was just in a dream and needed writing I do have it in word and sorry for the strange tense changes. Here desctiptions.

Name: Yamishi
Sec.ID: Purplenum
Hair: white/silver in a pony tail near top and a bit hanging over right eye
Eyes: green
Age: 22
Costum: Black and red (no8 row 1)
Hand: ambidextres
Aliance: Chaotic Good
Weapons: Sange and Yasha, Double Cannon, Twin Morning Glory, Bloody Art
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 150 lbs
Likes: to be alone except for his love and alies
Dislikes: Guys that don't care for women and think of them as things or people who abuse power
Backround: was an ordinary hunter until he learned to use Megid (back before tech restrictions) when after some strange Megid use he was chosen to be the recipiant of the dark dragon's powers and now keeps them with him in a stone on a neckless hiden from veiw with a dragon's finger for each major compass direction holding a dark red crystal the dragon "shadows" took him away to train and he can still use Megid sence he was away when hunters were forced to have limited techs.
Addithonal Notes: Shadow has a human size and a stadard size (think of the dragon bosses) has individual arms and wings and can turn into a kind of armor for Yamishi when he calls on him the size and form (armor or dragon) changes depending on the way he's called


Name: Kori
Class: FOnewral
Eye Color: Blue
Hair: first with the hat. Icy blue in color
Costume: Blue from first row
Weapons: Twinkle Star, Angel Harp, Mace of Adimantium
Habbits: Never really relizes that she's in battle
Alighnment: Good
Likes: Ice, Shi(although a little shy about it), sunlight
Dislikes: Meanies, anyone that would try to break her and Shi apart.
Additional Notes: Kori is a very happy-go-lucky kind of gal. She never truly relizes the seriousness of most situations. Her spell strength lies in the Ice techs given as she has an inate born ability in them for reasons unknown. She was rescued by Yamishi while being experemented on to find out why she has such skills in the Ice techs. Has had a crush on him ever sence. Is also the Chosen of Ice named Frost same sizeing as Shadows.

Name: Kaseifu
Class: RAcesal
Hair: none same head as Shino (from the seak my master quest)
Costume: Black first row
Weapons: Crush Bullet, Anti-Android Rifle, H&S 25 Justuse
Habits: Quite voice, doesn't question what she is asked to do bye either Shi or Kori.
Alignment: Good
Likes: to clean
Dislikes: an unclean house
Additonal Notes: Chosen of Metal/Mirrors Known as Steel, again it has the same sizing notes as the others.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: White_Knight on 2005-11-09 08:45 ]</font>

[LadyRedComet]

Maybe in the future you could try to incorporate the profiles into the story, rather than posting them separately? It feels very disjointed if I have to read a story and all the detail about the characters is condensed into a "character sheet/profile" at the beginning or end. Needing to put profiles like that may mean that you need to go back and add more detail... and also think about what's really relevant to the story. Do we need to know exact height and weight (mentioning that in a story would make me think the narrator goes around with a yard stick and a scale, which is a funny mental image, but probably not something you want your readers to start thinking about)?

A general rule I've noticed about character descriptions is that you need to give us (the audience) enough information to get a feel for the character, but not so much that your story consists of page after page describing your main character(s). Profiles like you posted are a good thing to have. For reference. They help to build a more consistant character than just winging it, but they also should not have to be posted before or after the story to introduce the characters. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but that's the way I see it.

[rena-ko]

i was expecting a menstruous girl http://pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

run a spelling checker on your texts before you post them.

besides that, it doesnt bother if you do not introduce chars at first, but you should at least describe how they look within the first paragraphe. tie that into a description of a motion, for example.

about the term jumping... it depends on if you describe, what happens before or during a scene.

anyway... reads interesting so far, keep it up.

[White_Knight]

Chapter 1: The Start of an Investigation

A few minutes later Yami and Kori arrive at Yami's apartment. Black Mage is lying on the floor in his usual blue/grey FOmar robe, his short black hair slightly messed up due to the hat at his side.

"Kase did you notice anything strange a few minutes ago?" Yami asks after closing the door to his humble abode.

"What do you mean Master Yamishi?"

"I mean did anything unusual register on your sensors, a surge of energy, a loud noise, anything?"

"Well a few moments ago my sensors did go fuzzy for a short while but other than that I can't think of anything. Why?"

"Because we just saw the most darling little girl that disappeared on us with this loud scream and a bright flash." Kori says after having put her umbrella away.

"That's interesting I didn't even hear anything." Black Mage says looking up from his tech disk.

"Yeah. I'll give Hikara a call. It was light energy that she used to get away I'll see if he felt in and could track her I want to know who she is." Yami says as he puts his hand to his chin in thought.

"Oh I wanna goooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Kori pipes up like a naive little girl.

"NO!" Yami responds firmly.

"Aww. But why not?"

"Because it may get dangerous I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'd ask if I could go but I still haven't finished up at the force academy so I guess that's a no right there huh?" Black Mage asks.

"True. And before you ask Kase you’re to make sure that after I leave tomorrow Kori doesn’t follow me."

"Got it." Kaseifu says bowing her head lightly allowing the black ponytail look alike in her silver pseudohair to fall past her shoulder.

"Well I'll just give Hikara a call and then it's off to bed." Yami says as he pulls out his BEE communicator.

"Hikara here. What’s up?" Hikara's voice chimes though the com link

"Yeah it me Yami."

"Oh hey Yami. What'cha need?"

"Did you feel any strange surge in light energy a few minutes ago?"

"Now that you mention it I did feel something kind of strange in the light energy field thing or what ever you call it. Why?"

"Could you track it?"

"Yeah. But you still haven't answered why?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. Meet me by the transporter around ten."

"Got it. I'll meet you there tomorrow."

"Good. Yami out."

"Well it sounds like you guys are all settled." Kori says stretching out obviously getting ready for bed.

"Yeah we're all set so it's off to bed." Yami says putting the BEE away.

"Ok. Good night you two." BM says as he turns the disk off and heads off to do the various nightly things one must before going to bed.

"Well I suppose we should get ready as well Yami." Kori says wrapping her arms around his neck pulling herself up just a little bit to match his height.

"Yeah." Was his reply as he wrapped his arms about her waist.

They walked off towards their bedroom. While Yami started brushing his teeth Kori changed out of her usual Force outfit that since it was designed for comfort she could where it like a normal outfit as well as a uniform. After which she put on one of Yami's more formal shirts. Long sleeved buttons down the front with a collar and cuffs. Leaving the cuffs and collar, as well as the first three buttons, undone she gently changes places with Yami to brush her teeth while he changes. Yami removes his dark blue shirt, jean pants, brown boots and white socks. Leaving him in just his boxer shorts. He then removes the hair tie keeping his hair up and back and lies down pulling the sheets up to his waist. Kori walks out her bare feet patting lightly on the carpet less floor. She slips in to the sheets pulling them till they level out with how Yami pulled them up.

"Are you sure you don't have any regrets?" Yami asks in a calm soothing voice.

"I have no regrets at all. I've never felt this way before and I'm glad that it's someone like you that I feel this way towards." Kori responds in a similar voice positioning her hands one on top of the other so that they lay close to her chest.

"Alright well then let’s get some sleep it's getting late." Yami says as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close as they shut their eyes to go to sleep.

[LadyRedComet]

Again, watch your spelling. Are you using a spellcheck (hinthint, you should. That or get a beta reader to check your grammar before you post)? There are some parts where the meaning comes close to being screwed up by the typos. The title, for example. I think you meant "Prologue: The Mysterious Girl," but like Rena said, it sounds more like "Menstruating Girl" or "Menstruous Girl" (is that a word?) than mysterious.

I like that you've tried to incorporate appearances into this...but you're not doing it very well. It sticks out like a sore thumb when you say things like "his usual blue/grey FOmar robe." And you've dedicated a whole paragraph to describing the characters getting ready for bed. I believe I suggested before that you should provide more detail, but you should also analyze it and make sure the details you're giving us are important. I cited exact weight and height as things that don't need to be explicitly stated, but things like "Yami removes his dark blue shirt, jean pants, brown boots and white socks. Leaving him in just his boxer shorts" are extremely awkward (not to mention boring) to read. Try, perhaps, just saying that he removed his shirt, jeans, boots, and socks. Is it really important that we know the color of each item? Not really... Description is hard to do, I'm not sure what I can point out that was done really well in that aspect (you seem to be overcompensating now for lack of detail in the prologue), but it helps that you at least tried to explain more what they look like. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that you should find something important about their appearance, and tell us that. It's usually not important what clothes they wear, and I'm especially not seeing how it's useful to detail that they're wearing (for example) Force uniforms now. How about hinting in a battle scene that a character is a force? Or even just mentioning messy hair from wearing a hat would give a good indication that a character is a Force. As I said, "blue/grey FOmar robes" are very awkward to read about, especially with the slash there. If you want to say it like that, maybe you should put "and" between blue and grey rather than a slash.

Speaking of punctuation, the comma exists for a reason (Sorry to be harsh, but I'm bitter about comma neglect). There are dozens of sentences in this chapter alone that need commas. For example, all dialogue that looks like this:


"That's interesting I didn't even hear anything." Black Mage says looking up from his tech disk.

Needs commas. It should look like this:

"That's interesting (. or ,) I didn't even hear anything," Black Mage says, looking up from his tech disk.

Basically, anywhere you end a spoken sentence with a period and follow it with "he/she said/replied/whatever," you need a comma, not a period. Yay for weird grammatical rules! Also, you need a comma everywhere there would be a small pause in spoken language. Take, for example, this paragraph (with added commas and fixed punctuation!):


They walked off towards their bedroom. While Yami started brushing his teeth, Kori changed out of her usual Force outfit. Since it was designed for comfort, she could wear it like a normal outfit as well as a uniform. After that, she put on one of Yami's more formal shirts - a long sleeved shirt with buttons down the front, a collar, and cuffs. Leaving the cuffs and collar, as well as the first three buttons, undone, she gently changes places with Yami (in order) to brush her teeth while he changes. Yami removes his dark blue shirt, jean pants, brown boots and white socks, leaving him in just his boxer shorts. He then removes the hair tie keeping his hair up and back and lies down, pulling the sheets up to his waist. Kori walks out, her bare feet patting lightly on the carpetless floor. She slips into the sheets, pulling them till they level out with how Yami pulled them up.

There are people out there, I'm sure, that will disagree wholeheartedly with this last point, but: Don't write a long story in the present tense, please. It makes it more difficult to read. I understand that this came from a dream, but there are ways to maintain a dreamlike quality (such as word choice, the amount of detail that is given, etc.) without keeping to the present tense. Now, present tense works well when used in a dream sequence that is part of a larger story that occurs in the past tense. But a whole story in present tense? Maybe it's just my brain that can't handle it, but it sounds just plain weird to read a chaptered story in present tense. I'm still stuck on the first paragraph of the prologue being in past tense while the rest of the fic seems to be in present tense.

I like the word "pseudohair."

[CupOfCoffee]

LadyRedComet x2.

Honestly, my biggest gripe was the (lack of) commas. It makes it increasingly difficult to take in and understand, much less care about, the details of the story when there are simply no commas used where they should be. Your eye is less inclined to stop at important places and more tempted to just slide along the line of text without really taking it in since there's no punctuation until the very, very end.

Also, I've long cringed when I see characters in PSO fanfiction referred to by their class names (FOmar robes, a tall HUmar with silver hair, etc). The point of writing down a story is usually to craft it in such a way that people who go in not knowing their left from their right can learn everything there is to learn about your characters and plot. Even though most everyone here probably knows what a FOmar is, it just comes across as tacky to call one of your characters a FOmar.

Aside from the mechanical problems, I think the plot is pretty good. Keep it up, homie.

[White_Knight]

Alright just deal with the problems for a little bit longer starting at four I'll have two beta readers running over this (if their still interested) so that should catch what Word dosen't.

Chapter 2: The search of another

Meanwhile several blocks away a force dressed in archaic plate armour, and black robes flowing from beneath the waist, with strange runes decorating the plates, holding a staff similar to the Caduceus but purple with demon wings and a three clawed spike also with strange runes decorating it. He searches the area for the mysterious girl during the dead of night, practically disappearing into the night due to his black attire.

"Where the hell could that little wench be? She's only a little girl she couldn't have gone to far." He spits with anger seething in his voice.

"She's not going to make this easy for me." He says as he rounds a corner.

"I shouldn't have let them watch her I may spend so much time searching for her I may have to wait a hundred years for the next chance to complete the ritual. Well at least these runes will help me do that much if I miss this chance. But she's a whole other problem. Maybe I could lock her in a cage and set up the same runes that will slow my aging until the next chance arises." He thinks aloud as he rounds a few more corners walking in the general direction of Yami's house.

"That may be the easiest solution to my problem. Hopefully I'll find her before I miss this chance. Wait she was right here!" He exclaims as he stands on the spot where the girl disappeared shortly before.

"I think I know where she is...but why would she go there? He says fixing his glasses. "...not my concern as long as I find her." With that he warps away in a darker colored ryuker than normal.

****

The following morning...

Yami awakes before Kori and lies there a moment admiring her seemingly glowing features in the mid morning light. Her soft features seam to be the picture of perfection. With great displeasure he leaves to take a shower. A few minutes later upon his return to the bedroom he sees Kori is a wake and looking at him with sorrow on her face he long ears drooping a little bit as if it were a reflection of the sorrow on her face.

"Do you really need to go alone with out me? She looked lonely and was just the most precious thing. I just..." She's cut off from her thought by a kiss full on the lips by Yami.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure that I come back and I will do my best to return with her."

"Ok." Sorrow still emanating from her voice.

"Now then I'm sure Hikara's waiting for me so I'd better hurry up and get over there." He says walking over the chest of drawers and taking out boxers and socks.

While Kori takes her shower he suits up in his usual black and red armour. Straps the sword belts holding the Sange&Yasha to his waist. Sliding his Bloody Arts to his calves. Slips his Double Cannon into its loop on the back of his main belt. Puts on his double Morning Glories. Ties his hair back into its usual style. And gets his Diwari mag. He grabs some fruit and a piece of toast as he leaves. Just before he opens the door Kori comes rushing out of the bedroom missing just her hat and shoes from her Force outfit. She throws her arms around his neck and pulls herself up to kiss him full on the lips.

"Please come back." She says with tears streaming down the sides of her face.

"I will. I promise. And I always keep my promises." He replies with concern hinting in his voice.

"Ok. I'll wait. And you'd better be back soon." She says jokingly on the last statement.

"I will." He says with a smile and a slight laugh. And with that he was out the door.

***

A few minutes later just out side the teleporter.

"Hey Hikara." Yami says walking up to Hikara calmly

"Hey. So what's this all about Yami?"

"Yeah you don't think your going to take our leader and my best friend on this possibly dangerous quest and not tell us what's going on." A robotic voice states from near by.

"Oh hey G2 I didn't know you'd be joining us today."

"Of course not. It's a good thing Hikara called me last night after you called him."

"I see."

"So what do you need me for?" Hikara pipes up in the middle of there conversation.

"Oh yeah I was just about to get to that..." Yami starts but is cut off as he looks back just in time to jump out of the way of a sword swing from a last survivor. Swung by a HUmar with a scar on each of his tan cheeks.

"Lucky dodge Yami."

"No such thing as luck for me."

"Right are you sure about that." The hunter says pulling the blade out of the ground.

"So Ardius have you found the person you?re looking for?"

"Nope but maybe you'll help you appear to be off somewhere."

"Yeah care to join?"

"Don't know yet." He says as he gives a horizontal swing at Yami.

Yami jumps back easily dodging the swing from such a heavy weapon. Ardius reacts with a vertical swing which Yami sidesteps. The two continue until after a horizontal slice Ardius thrusts the blade at Yami knowing that he won't have time to sidestep or jump back from the thrust. Yami pushes down on the blade hand walking up it to Ardius. Flips off landing behind him while opening the right claw blade and holding it to his neck.

"Your getting slow."

"Guess it's this weapon. Oh well on to the next." Ardius says dropping the Last Survivor. "Guess I will go with you though."

"Good. Now I can start to explain."

"'Bout time? Granz says annoyance clear in his voice.

"All right some time relatively late last night whiles me and Kori were on our way home this strange girl. As we tried to help her she disappeared on us with a great wave of sound and a flash of light."

"And that's why you called me."

"Right. So anyway Kase's sensors went fuzzy about the time and Hikara felt the use of light energy about the time it happened."

"So you want us to go and try to find her?" Ardius questions.

"Right. And for that we need Hikara to try and get and idea as to where she warped to last night."

"I'll see what I can do." Hikara says as he closes his eyes and concentrates. A soft white glow comes off of him.

"Got it she's somewhere in the ruins." He says after a few moments.

"Why would she go there? Are you sure that's where she went?"

"Yep. I'm absolutely certain that's where she is."

"All right then I guess we're off to the ruins." Yami says warping though the teleporter.

****

shortly afterwards in a different part of the ruins a RAmarl dressed in a similar archaic armour as the force but more ranger styled, with glasses and blond hair in a braid. Carrying a Yasminkov 7000V with similar runes, a Yasminkov 2000H in a holster at the back of her belt, Yasminkov 9000M's at her thighs and an ancient saber sheathed on her left.

"Raimei. Do you hear me?" A male voice says though a radio in her ear.

"Yes master?" She responds with longing hinting in her voice.

"I have reason to believe that a team of hunters will be entering the Ruins soon in search of the same goal. You may have to fight them so I recommend conservation of ammo."

"Got it master. Any thing else?"

"Yes. I'm working on shackles and a choker inscribed with the runes needed to stop her from getting away again when I'm done I'll send them to your inventory. Also because of this new threat I've already sent you something you might find useful."

She checks the read out on her arm and her eyes widen behind her glasses.

"Thank you master and I'll be sure to save my ammo for these hunters can you give anymore info on them?"

"Three are members of the Starlight Runners. Hikara, Granz2, and Yamishi. The other I don't know. But he is a HUmar. Be on your guard Raimei."

"Yes master." She says longing and sorrow both in her voice.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: White_Knight on 2005-11-15 09:59 ]</font>

[White_Knight]

OK this is the last chapter that is just me and my lame as word processor after this I will have two count'em two beta readers to try and make up for Word's shitiyness.
______________________________

Chapter 3: The New Concept to Consider

The team enters a room well lit with a dull blue light. The floor is a sort of mesh fence structure over a giant tuning machine.

“I’ve never liked coming down here it’s just so sad and then there’s the over whelming darkness.” Hikara says as he firmly grips his customary Cadecus.

“Sensors show that there is ample light down here Hikara.” Granz says readying his Final Impact.

“He means the ever coursing dark energy that flows from here.” Yami says casually sweeping his arms around the room.

“Riiiiight and exactly how do you two know this and I don’t?” Ardius asks while slipping his hands in to the God Hand.

“I can feel the elemental forces because I’m a protectorate.”

“And Kori tells me how creepy it feels down here every time we come here. So needless to say I try and avoid coming here with her.”

“I see. I guess you miss out on a lot as an android?” Granz asks.

“I suppose so. But at least you’ll probably out last us all.” Yami jokes with a slight chuckle.

“Any way all jokes aside we came down here to find some one and I’d like to get out of here as quickly as possible. I and this place despise each other and we both want me out now.” Hikara says a sort of urgency in his voice.

“All right all right we really should get going.” Yami says as he turns to head out the door.

****

In a deeper part of the ruins Raimei is easily cutting down waves of Dimenians with her rune covered Ancient Sabre.

“These monsters are so weak I don’t even have to channel any power into these attacks.” She says as she parries a So Dimenians yellow blade and thrusts her own into the creatures face, the very middle of the black diamond on the front of the creature. She nimble side steps swing after swing from the black shark like monsters as she drives her tune covered sword, and some of the spikes on her armour, into the beasts as they miss her by inches.

“This is getting old.” She says irritably as she holds open her palm so that it points at the approaching beasts. “Gizonde!!!” She screams letting the lightning jump from her palm and snake it’s way though the Dimenians frying them all. As she walks towards the door the lightning energy is still crackling over her fingers and hand.

****

After what seams like, and probably is, hours of cutting down wave after wave and room after room of D cellular monsters, passing through each room and its gothic-esque architecture and dimly lit rooms of pale blue light. The team still hasn’t found the mysterious little girl.

“Man this is ridiculous. I mean I enjoy killing dark monsters as much as the next guy but are we remotely close to finding this little girl?!” Ardius exclaims exasperated after slaying yet another Dimenian with his God Hand.

“I can’t try and find her in the midst of a battle. I’ll need to wait until the rooms clear.” Hikara says as he twirls his Cadecus around to bring the wing tips down through a So Dimenian’s head.

“That shouldn’t be too hard but it feels like there are more monsters here than usual doesn’t it? This may take longer than previously calculated.” Granz adds while firing off a blast that burns a fair sized hole in to the chests of five Dimenians of varying types.

“Hmmm….I supposes your right Granz. I guess it’s a good thing it’s only been Dimenians and claws so far.” Yami says as he delivers a horizontal swing that takes out three Dimenians.

“Don’t say stuff like that you’ll jinx us.” Hikara cautions firing off a grants at the nearest La Dimenian.

“I don’t believe in luck.” Yami retorts thrusting both blades into the yellow sides of a So Dimenian.

“Technically their must be some kind of luck or chance.” Granz says firing off another couple of rounds.

“Alright fine then I don’t believe in jinxes.”

“Well whatever I hope that they’ll stop I’m only human I can only fight for so long before I have to rest.” Ardius says bashing down another Dimenian.

“Yeah that and I’m running out of energy. We need to kill the rest of them off soon.” Almost no sooner is he done saying that then does and Indi Belra phases in right behind Hikara.

“Great theirs another Dimenian back there!” Hikara exclaims as he spins around to slash at it with the wings of his Cadecus. When they get stuck in its side he takes a good look at the Belra that’s already poised to strike. “Crap!” He shouts as he pulls at his staff hoping to remove it from the beast’s side.

“Hang in their Hikara I have to reload!” Granz shouts as he starts to load a new charge into his Final Impact.

“Like that’ll help Granz. Sorry Hikara but I’m a bit tied up at the moment.” Ardius says as he blocks and strafes attacks from a whole horde of Dimenians.

“That’s it!” Yami shouts as he cuts a So Dimenian into three pieces horizontally then spins to face the Belra with his arms crossed as the dork purple energies of Megid gather around him. “Megid!” He shouts as he uncrosses his arms until the blades form an X shape. At the pinnacle of the X shape the dark purple gooish ball of Megid is launched towards the Belra. Once it’s launched time seams to slow down like it always does in high stress situations. Granz finishes loading his gun and while readying to fire turns to face the Belra and brings the gun to a position where he’ll feel the lowest amount of kickback from firing it. He fires off a shot when the megid is only a few feet away from the Belra. When Granz’s bullets have travelled about half their distance the megid ball hits the Belra and causes it to decay almost instantly. The bullets from G2’s Final Impact hit four random Dimenians as time “speeds up.” Yami quickly reverses his swords so that he’s holding them back handed and stabs them into the yellow sides of a So Dimenian that was trying to sneak up on him. As Granz’s last bullet flies at his head he shifts a bit to his right causing the bullet to collide with the head of an unsuspecting Del Sabre. After the Indi Belra died the seemingly endless waves of monsters stopped. Allowing our intrepid team to finish off the remaining enemies quickly.

“Alright Yami what the hell was that?” Ardius asks after dispatching the last of the Dimenians.

“What it was a simple megid…well it wasn’t all that simple I’d say about level 28 or so. It could have failed.” Yami’s says in a sort of innocent tone and with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“That’s not the point!!!! You’re not supposed to be able to use megid!” Ardius says excitedly.

“Yeah anyway you look at it Yami that’s kind of strange. I’ve mean after all I’ve never seen Hikara use megid. I mean Zi’s pretty evil so seeing him cast it isn’t’ that hard to believe. It’s even harder to believe that you used it your one of the nicest humans I know and to top it all off you’re a hunter so seeing you use megid is just strange beyond all belief.” Granz says shouldering his weapon.

“Yeah I mean only Forces are allowed to learn Grants and Megid and here you are using megid how did that happen?” Hikara asks wiping down his robes.

“Alright I guess I brought this on myself.” Yami says throwing his hands in the air to show his defeat. “Look here’s the deal I became a hunter a while ago back before they started restricting who could learn what techs.”

“Yeah.” The three say practically in unison.

“When I found the disks for grants and megid I found that I could use megid far more effectively and with much less concentration than grants. So I basically stopped using grants in favour of megid. And as I got even better at using megid I found that I could link megid to weapons and hit multiple things with it.”

“I don’t think even Zi can do that.” Hikara says astounded.

“He probably can’t. Anyway apparently my continuous use of megid at extreme levels attracted something to me. As it turns out there are two types of people that have major power and skill with certain techs they are the protectorates, like Hikara, and the warriors of the dragons, like myself…”

“Hold on a minute what the hell are you saying. That there’s something more about you than just the megids?!” Ardius practically shouts.

“Yes and if you’d stay quite for a moment you’ll find out more about it. Anyway each element that Human’s and Newman’s use during techs and even those that we don’t use are driven by a single source and because of their damaging nature to each other they stay as far away from each other as possible, this only applies to ones of opposing elements, but if something happens they’ll get as close to each other as they can before the pain starts.”

“And how close is that?” Hikara asks

“Probably if their warriors have a kid I guess it’s never happened before. Regardless I attracted the attention of the dragon for darkness, or as most people associate with darkness, megid. But there is much more to darkness than megid.”

“So that partially explains the megid.” Hikara says thoughtfully.

“Yes. Well in order for me to properly perform as, I suppose his vessel is a good word for it, I needed a special kind of training which took me a way from P2 and Ragol for a while. When I got back techs started being restricted. I’ve given up most of the techs that they said I’m no longer allowed to use but I kept megid. So beyond that I’m pretty much your average hunter.” Yami finishes with a slight shrug.

“Right if you don’t count the fact that you can access some potentially huge power!” Hikara practically screams.

“Yeah I suppose your right about that but have I ever taken advantage of that? I try and do things under my own power as often as possible.”

“Uh-huh. And you expect us to believe this why?” Ardius asks questioningly.

“I’m sure Granz has records of all the things I’ve one when in his company and I don’t expect there to be more that two instances that I did anything out of the ordinary.”

“Including this one there are only two instances where in which you’ve performed something to place suspicion that you’re the out of the ordinary.” Granz says with a computerized calmness.

“See I told you.”

“Alright if there are protectorates and these warriors what are our roles?” Hikara asks.

“Near as I can tell the protectorates are like a filter and can deny people the use of their element. The warriors are the essence of an element so you couldn’t deny us the use of it, we probably also hunt down those that misuse our element.”

“Huh…” Ardius says dumbfounded.

“Think of it this way. If Zi and I were to take on the Protectorate of darkness he or she could deny Zi megid but not me.”

“Ok I see. So if I wanted I could deny Tenshi grants but not the dragon of light.” Hikara asks

“That’s right.”

“Ok all this new info is too much and this room drained me a lot more that it should have. I’m stopping now for a rest.” Ardius says promptly sitting down on the floor.

“Yeah I guess that’s a good idea a force with no energy isn’t much good. Besides that girl isn’t going anywhere right now.” Hikara says sitting.

“Internal clock says it’s late I’ll lock the doors so that we can rest.” Granz says walking to the door they came in from.

“Yeah I guess that’s a good idea besides like Hikara said it’s not like that girl is going anywhere.” Yami thinks aloud as he starts to lie down. Hmmm…I wonder how Kori’s doing.

****

Kori walks out of the bathroom running her hands through her pale blue hair so as to remove the ends from the inside of the white shirt she borrowed the previous night.

“Hmm this shirt feels nice. I’ll have to see if I can get it from Yami.” She says examining herself to check the fit. “I wonder how he’s doing.” She asks worriedly to no one as she sort of nibbles on her right index finger.

****

“Master.” Raimei says into her BEE link.

“Yes Raimei?” A male voice responds.

“I’m going to put the search on hold till morning. It’s getting to be too late to search and the stronger monsters are about to come out if they come in the numbers that the weaker ones did then I may be unsuccessful in the search.”

“Alright you can rest. I still need your services.”

“Thank you master.” Raimei says with a tear in her eye as she shuts of the bee link and locks the doors.