Coward

[Saiffy]

Here's the story

I've had what I guess I should call, a "crush" on some guy I know. For simplicity sake, let's call him Herbet Jeffery, or Eric.

Of course, telling another guy you're interested in them isn't exactly the easiest thing to do while in highschool. I've known him since about grade 7, and played hockey with him since grade 8, I guess just to make it obvious I didn't just meet him or whatever.

Every Thursday night we have hockey practice, last week, not a lot of people showed up. So after we got off the ice, I asked him to stay back cause I had "something to tell him". When everyone left, I began. I can't remember exactly what I said, although I did say I was starting to think I was gay, when in reality, I'm pretty sure of my sexual preference, testing the waters I guess?

After I told him I was interested in him, he asked me if I was serious. I went that far, but for whatever reason, I said no, because I was so afraid. But I guess it's kinda obvious I was lying, but I have no idea what he thinks, of course. And when I see him at school, it's been really awkward.

This Thursday, yesterday, I thought about telling him I was serious, or whatever. Unfortunately for me, he was in the hospital for something, I really don't know the details. But I got plans to make plans over the weekend with him to hang out and stuff, if he can, of course >_>;;;


Maybe I'm looking for someone to tell me I shouldn't be ashamed of backing out of it? I dunno.

To PJ, and anyone else who was wondering why I was upset over the weekend, read above. ;o

[Maridia]

Well, I know how it can feel to have something cooped up inside and to need to say it. I also think you may possibly have made a mistake. In this kind of situation, there's no right or wrong thing, but if he reacts badly to it, things will never be the same again. If you want to be true to yourself, you have to tell him and just deal with what happens without going all emo about it, as you made the choice. If you are afraid of losing him as a friend, you can talk to him and reaffirm that you aren't interested in him, as well as explaining that you're also still into chicks as well.

You have a lot of different options to choose from, and they'll all be hard for you. I'm proud that you got the balls to say something, while disappointed you couldn't wait a while to say anything. Highschool is a dangerous time to be anything but straight. I just worry about you. Take care, and no matter what happens or what you choose to do, be strong. You made your choices, stick to them. I support you no matter what you choose. <3

[Solstis]

You're one brave kid!

Best of luck to ya!

[WraithVerge]

I'm a strong supporter of doing what makes yourself happy... within reason, of course. If you're serious about going through with this type of relationship, you're going to have to take that hard first step. If you plan on backing out, just explain to your friend that you were having mixed emotions that day and everything is cool.

Be happy in whatever you do, first and foremost.

[Eihwaz]

I experienced a somewhat similar experience today. I was thinking of having this dude who is kind of my buddy come over to play some Xbox and stuff, but when I saw him coming out, I was all "OMG NO EYE CONTACT", and I didn't ask him if he'd like to come over. I am a coward.

Of course, I suppose it's harder to tell some guy how you feel about him than to invite someone over for some friendly Xbox, but don't beat yourself up about it.

[FOAtHeart]

You're brave.

I think now that you've already said something. You just just finish what you started, I guess. :B

You shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings, d00d D:
Good luck sir :B

[TheOneHero]

Like everyone has said, you're very brave person.

keeping your feelings bottled up inside you only makes you sick.

Hope everything turns out OK. =)

[EphekZ]

Well, do you know if he has the same sexual orientation as you?

[Saiffy]

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. I don't really know what else to say besides that >.>;


On 2006-01-13 16:48, darkgunner wrote:
Well, do you know if he has the same sexual orientation as you?


No idea. If I did know, this would be way, way easier.

[KaFKa]

Quick way to figure out if he's the same sexual orientation as you (being brutally honest)

Ask if he thinks Angelina Jolie is hot. If he answers yes with machismo and "I would break her in half" -type masculinity, forget about it. If he starts complimenting her, then you can move forward.

[trypticon]

I don't know, Kafka, she's far too well known to get much of any clear picture over a person's sexual preference through the introduction of her into a question.

Ryan, congratulations. I am proud of you for coming out and revealing your feelings towards somebody else. If you're anything like me, you didn't do it so that he could hear it, you did it to comfort your own troubled mind.

Then again, I hope your success with this young man is better than my success has been with the woman with the dark soul.

If he isn't interested, expect things to be awkward for a while. You don't have to let it get to you though. Just stand strong, stand tall, be confident about your decision to have told him what you did, and also be confident in your own preferences towards gender related things.

If he backs away as a friend because he's not into what you are in this instance, he is a fool. You are, if nothing else, a wonderful person to have as a friend. You are a great supporter, and you deserve friendships and supporters to match that which you give to others.

I know I'm very lucky to have you as a friend, at least. As is Melanie. As is PJ, as is Alex, Brian, Ryan, Ryan, David, and all those other guys from online. Melanie, at least, knows you in real life, and is likely the luckiest of us all. This person whom you've admitted your feelings to is lucky as well, because you view him as more than just a friend, meaning you would stick your neck out just that much further for his benefit.

If he doesn't accept you for what you have revealed, it's his loss. However, you may want to take the advice of at least one other who has responded to this, and just tell him you were joking about it. I hate to suggest that, because, as you know, I don't like dishonesty, particularly self dishonesty. Be true to yourself then, even if you can't be at this time towards absolutely everyone else.

And if you ever need a series of people to write to, the world crew is almost always there to read from you.