Haiku II

[Dreadlock]

I wanted to try a few Japanese poems out. Other people should put their own and express themselves. I guess they would qualify as...works of fan art or literature. HAIKU THREAD. Banzai.


http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rant.gif "Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables."(But these rules can be broken with due to the difficulty of the English language) http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rant.gif

It is an expression of one's mind and creativity in the purest and simplest of ways.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dreadlock on 2006-02-23 12:05 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

The wilting cherry
it's soft flesh so succulent
I want to bite it.

Banzai


The crap smells quite bad
roasting on a blazing porch
looking like a Twix

Banzai

The screams of the dead
can be heard very well in
times of doom and gloom.

Banzai



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dreadlock on 2006-02-23 12:01 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

Her form delicate,
her eyes full of compassion,
She is beloved.

Banzai.

Golden leaves fly high
before coming to seek rest
and peace on the ground.

Banzai

Chubby wives diet
in hopes of looking sexy
for their wedding day.

Banzai

[Solstis]

Why should I bother
I do dislike the Haiku
Not free to explore



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2006-02-24 11:42 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

Only the greatest
minds with creativity
can do Haiku, friend.

Banzai

It's simplicity
is simply too much for the
common human mind.

Banzai

Free your expression
show other poetic skills
on this very thread.

Banzai

Served on a golden
rice platter oozing with the
oriental smell.

Banzai

Seventeen, thats right,
these seventeen syllables
create the haiku.

Banzai

[Solstis]

Simplicity is
A constraint developed by
Short attention spans

[AzureBlaze]

A Haiku Battle
Ensues like a rap fight now
Where is M T V?

Poetry Fighting
I enjoy the internet
Unpredictable

Is un pre dict a ble really a 5 syllable word?

Pouilly Slime so red
why won't you give box
wasting time again

argh these are hard, but what is thier purpose?

[Dreadlock]

Bravo. Unless I am mistaken, Azure finds them a little hard. Yes. That is the beauty. Short, simple, but a little hard. Creativity is needed.

Short attention spans
are very useful when used
to ignore women.

Banzai

Those Japanese guys
must know the importance of
blocking out droning.

Banzai

The woman who has
perfect crimson lips and eyes
is in some man's bed.

Banzai

I sit in corners
dreaming about the future
instead of living.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Oh those wildboys
Such crazy and sensual
antics with the beasts.

Banzai

Steaming bronze steak soup,
I dip my crackers in you
I'll sip you all up.

Banzai

Whatever happens
don't tell the chubby cook that
I peed in his soup.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Such a crispy crust
it's top laden with golden
cheese and beefy meat.

Banzai

Big muscles bulging
the perfect man of hard steel
is fond of steroids.

Banzai

You rare katana
how I search for your beauty
come into my hands.

Banzai

[Charmander02]

i like the one with the Twix/poo.

[Dreadlock]

Guerilla tactics
are required to strike the
hearts of enemies.

Banzai

Sir, step out of the
car and put your hands up now
Got marijuana?

Banzai

Icy cold eyes stare
as peachy curves are lathered
by sensual tongues.

Banzai

Children are too much
they yell, they whine, they want things
we were all like that.

Banzai

Women portrayed by
the media have ample
bosoms and booties.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Im almost out of
Haiku, won't someone share their
creativity?

Banzai

Nah I'm never out
so watch out world my fingers
will never be stopped.

Banzai

I'd like hot sauce on
my burrito with cheese please
and pepto bismol.

Banzai

Yo thats straight up wack
using hippity-hop slang
in this haiku piece.

Banzai

[ZaiV2]

Numa-Numa and
Hamster Dance are stuck in
My head. God save me...

Banzai

The breeze gently lifts
an errant feather, tawny
to silent heavens

Banzai

My heart leaps; 'tis Friday
The weekend beckons to me
How shall I spend it?

Banzai

Why do I Banzai
After each of my Haiku?
Who has an answer?

Banzai

[ZaiV2]

This is rather fun.
I should write these more often.
A poet am I?

Banzai

My notebook hides 'way
I search, to no avail, but
Ah! I see it now.

Banzai

My dog, she fidgets
It is time for her to walk
I take leave now, bye.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Ah welcome brother
join me in the ecstacy
that is the haiku.

Banzai

Why do you banzai
because I have done the same
though for no reason.

Banzai

My bum is on the
fence, my bum is on the fence,
On the fence, my bum.

Banzai

Gray skies signify
the coming of a fresh new
glimmering of hope.

Banzai

[ZaiV2]

The orange twilight
At e'ery day's quiet end
Is soothing to me.

Banzai

A chord rings sweetly
of a single melody
'Eyes On Me' I play.

Banzai

One haiku is good
But three is what I've written
And so I'll end here.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

My people shall be
lead into eternity
will you come with me?

Banzai

Rich in nutrients
flavorful and helpful too
I drink milk, do you?

Banzai

My lover's skin is
softer than a rose petal
yet firm to the touch.

Banzai

Rumble, you young man
float like a butterfly, sting
like a bee, Ali.

Banzai

It's essence fills my
soul with creamy sensation
Give me more and more.

Banzai

[DamonKatu]

I not a woman hunter
but stangely enought
Im being "woman hunted"

*trinity jumped out of the bushes and was up 50 ft. in the air*
Trinity: Banzai!!! XD *CRASH! Lands on DK, leaving him dazed on the ground*


Now you see me, now you don't...
But was I ever really there?

Nope.

This is some random poetry. Its not that bad really.

[Solstis]

I do not banzai
For my shoes may be untied
I pout with fury

My mouth is quite dry
Dasani is what I try
Tastes a little sweet

[Dreadlock]

It has to be quite
sensible, yet creative
and beautiful too.

Banzai

A predator does
what he must in the cold of
winter to survive.

Banzai

I will treasure the
sweet, peachy nectar that flows
openly from you.

Banzai

Stay in school kiddies
Or you'll end up on the street
taking risks with crime.

Banzai

She who must be loved
is denied from compassion
she only has me.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

The daily haiku
is here now to pleasure eyes
enjoy it, mortals.

Banzai

After two I shoot
I aim for his legs, I aim
to uproot his soul.

Banzai

Have you ever died
to show just how much you care
I just died today.

Banzai

To kill enemies
requires knowledge and love
of your enemy.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

I heard it through the
grapevine and I'm about to
lose my damn mind too.

Banzai

It tears away one's
innards by hurting that which
is dear to living.

Banzai

Reddened veins will hide
the scars of a dreadful past
I need healing soon.

Banzai

If the bull made love
to a big rhinocerous,
would anyone care?

Banzai

[ZaiV2]

If a great tree falls
In the silent, dark forest
Does anyone hear?

Banzai

Healing is indeed
Something that everyone needs
Love and slumber help.

Banzai

My eyelids heavy,
I trudge to my room and lie down
I wake too early.

Banzai

[Eihwaz]

Why do you keep with
banzai in there it kills the
flow of your haikus

>_>;

[ZaiV2]

We banzai because...
I don't know why. Query the
Commnunist, Dreadlock.

[Sgt_Shligger]

Traveling onwards,
I see no purpose ahead,
not a single one.

I saddened myself,
I searched for the reason, me,
reasons just for me.

It would seem to me,
no purpose set unto me,
reasons to go on...

I can not even see,
no purpose given for me,
I can't seem to be.

I decide for me,
the lack of purpose to be,
pushes me to think...

Why i should be,
end it all in the moment,
then eternity.

How is that for a haiku? ^_^





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: SgtShligger on 2006-03-07 19:12 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

To Banzai is to seperate. Haikus are not originally meant to be long, connected and on one subject(s). That takes away the significance of it's 17 syllable simplicity. Then it just becomes a regular western style poem. Haikus seem to still be 95% literally correct and also usually make sense as well. Foreign devils. But as always, express yourself in all ways. I simply Banzai to show seperate haikus.

Banzai
Kamikaze

Chet di may!
Ay dios mios.
Je' tuer tu!


Sergeant, I do enjoy your extended Haiku/Poem. It's quite deep and attempts to show it pretty well.

But some of it..doesn't go together in the literary sense. Unlike some other Haiku writers, I try to make sense. I often make mistakes and try hard to correct myself. I take myself out to the backyard and physically abuse myself with random acts of self-mutilating torture. Anyways;


Traveling onwards,
I see no purpose ahead,
not a single one. < pretty good stuff right here. Sounds good, goes together.

I saddened myself,
I searched for the reason, me,
reasons just for me. < Alright, until the second verse. A bit like a run-on sentence. "reason, me, reasons just for me." That me in the middle ruins it. I know you were just trying to get something in there for the seventh syllable, though. It just doesn't sound like a sentence or something somebody would say. Sometimes you got to just think of words. When I have a haiku I begin thats a bit hard to understand, I just quit on it if I can't think of anything and do a new one. From here down, the rest of the Haikus have similar problems. They just aren't very clear and sometimes seem like individual sentences. It's the word structure. If one sits and comtemplates for a bit, then it does make a bit of sense. Examples:

It would seem to me,
no purpose set unto me,<<<?
reasons to go on...<<<<? No reasons to go on?

I can not even see,
no purpose given for me,<<<What does this mean?
I can't seem to be.<<<Especially this. Eh?

Hmm, there I would've done something like this:

I cannot even see
my purpose in this long life
I don't exist here.

The rest of your Haikus have similar problems, but are yours and creative nonetheless. You asked "How is that for a haiku? ^-^" It's not a haiku, it's several. Each with depth and feeling, but not put together very well. Please use my criticism and opinions to your advantage. Some might say "Aww, it's just a haiku, just for fun." Or; "Well we can change it a little, thats okay, and it can be different, etc." Hmm. I understand. But your last sentence seems to scream for an opinion, what someone else thinks, or some kind of guidance. And I have given mine. Are your eyes and brain sore yet? very well. I bring you (Hopefully without mistake..) Another day of the beauty that is..

Haiku.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dreadlock on 2006-03-08 17:00 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

I bring her presents
I bring her jewels, toys, and love
she left me today.

Banzai

The brave men who died,
our fathers, brothers, and sons
will be remembered.

Banzai

Her sweet kiss leaves me
both mesmerized and kinky
Time to go lower.

Banzai

Russet leaves will trace
the coming of another
year for mother earth.

Banzai

Oh sweet burrito
how dare you taunt my taste buds
with your greasy cheese.

Banzai

A new day has come
squirrels gather acorns and climb
humans watch TV.

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

Um thanks for the advice. i figured it wasn't proper haiku when i made it but i wanted to convey a larger idea. The first to parts i was thinking about a different direction for the haiku/poem and the rest flowed to a diferent topic that i though sounded better.

The last one is just to some it up. The entire time it is talking about not having a purpose (no reason to be) and i didn't literally mean "see" as in sight but more of an "insight" i guess.

I just made this because i got the idea. I am not in a bad mood usually and i made this poem in a great mood, ironically. I laughed when i realized how strange it was compared to the previous posts.

I do need to work on haikus but i think i will stick to longer poems and make my own rules.... like 6, 8 and 6 syllables to a poem per line. I would't be doing a haiku but it would be poetry due to organization.

[Dreadlock]

I see. I think there is a poetry thread as well, if you would like to stick to the longer poems and haikus. I have posted there once or twice. I love to see everybody's work though, so post what you desire.

Now I will depart
a trail of black in my path
for I am devout.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dreadlock on 2006-03-08 17:22 ]</font>

[Sgt_Shligger]

Well I can't contain my idea in one haiku... so it isn't technically a haiku but it's close enough... or it it? The haiku has to represent one idea to count right? W/e i will go along with me...

Seemingly no end,
I proceed out of instinct.
Not a care from me...

And especially,
I've choosen the I.D.C.,
For my poetry.

The "proper" haiku,
Is not meant for S.G.T.,
Thus I prove to thee...

Haikus don't suit me,
my idea is too awesome,
For anyone to see...

I thus end my rant,
And forever this will be,
Shli-ku made by me.

and thats a rap to proper poetry. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[ZaiV2]

Sgt. Shligger writes
with flowing rhythm and rhyme;
it's enjoyable.

[Dreadlock]

Bravo, friends.

Here's my daily contribution:

Embers fade slowly
the fire is not there now
how can we go on..

Banzai

Heres another one
in bits and pieces for for your
enjoyment, buddy.

Banzai

It's stinky in there
before pushing in soldiers
think about feces.
http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/donut.gif
Banzai

Eww that was nasty
cover the eyes of children
excuse my lewdness.

Banzai

[Rain_The_Merc]

...
I never really did understand Haiku.
__________________________________________________ __
I walk a path which I cannot understand,
I kill those who stand against me,
and yet I have not had my fill,
it seems a though I cannot turn aside what I have become.
I have become...
A mortal... http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

[Mistique]

There, a Soft Whisper,
a Gentle Kiss in the Rain,
then there is Silence.

[Mistique]

how was that.

[Sgt_Shligger]

Mine rhymes. It was nifty though... proper formate. Ask dread how it is done... i do it my own way.

[Eihwaz]

Seriously, why do you keep using "banzai" in your haiku? It's honestly pretty annoying. =/

[Mistique]

i didn't use "banzai"
<<
>>

[Rain_The_Merc]

My poems don't tend to rhyme but rather express emotions.

[Solstis]

Edgar Allen Poe
Once wrote on poems and said
Technique not feelings

Poe supposedly wrote "The Raven" because he liked the sound that they make and wrote a poem around it... because he could. There was no deep, inner meaning.

He may have been kidding. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Dreadlock]

One's opinion us not another. Please, people. This is a Haiku/Poetry thread. Limit the conversation/random comments. Yes, Mistique. You have it.

As for why I BANZAI. Simply read a few posts up.

I also Banzai because it is unique. And annoys people who can't ignore it and advance to the next Haiku.

My will is adamant.

Cookies?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dreadlock on 2006-03-14 21:05 ]</font>

[Dreadlock]

Men who commmit to
lives of crime and pure evil
will all be punished.

Banzai

Gentle is her touch
soft is her motherly voice
she stirs life in me.

Banzai

Chilling is his life
he denies those who need help
he will die alone.

Banzai

A bullfrog, so green
A dragonfly, so graceful
pond life is thrilling.

Banzai

[Mistique]

Pain is just Weakness,
Weakness Leaving the Body,
there, a Lesson Learned.

that one was hard...

[Dreadlock]

Anchovies, tuna
bass, mackerel, and salmon
all make good sushi.

Banzai

The will to survive
to beat down any problems
will carry you on.

Banzai

Do you want some too?
Want to see your own blood drip?
Then come closer, kid.

Banzai

A summer monsoon
commits aquatic murder
to all breathing life.

Banzai

Charming young woman
I chuckle at your antics
no passing gas, though.

[Mistique]

haha funny

[Dreadlock]

Ohh my stomach aches
was it pizza, soup, green beans?
To the men's bathroom!

Banzai

Hmm how I love it
spicy beef and crab flavor
I love cup noodles.

Banzai

No more food haikus
I'm getting chunky these days,
does my butt look big?

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

I obviously,
Am the only one who see's,
That Rhyming is 1337.

[Dreadlock]

Tighten that arm now
push the needle deep inside
Polio shot done.

Banzai

Majestic mountains,
how I desire your curves
nipples capped by snow.

Banzai

I am a bad man
who should be spanked very hard
and without mercy.

Banzai

Evolution thrives
get better, survive, find mates..
play videogames.

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

Y'all refuse to rhyme,
Keeping the beat straight in line,
Right in 4/4 time,

Saying "don't need rhymes,"
Just keep it within the lines,
Then it is divine,

This format is mine,
Seperate from the "divine,"
All within a rhyme.

[Dreadlock]

Very beautiful, brother. But don't impose your will or even hint at it. Everyone can do as they wish. But it's called Haiku II for a reason. I for one, am kind of beginning to enjoy your rhymekus. Yes, yes, very unique. Keep it that way. Maybe we can start a rap-battle thread, ya feel me?

[Dreadlock]

It burns from within
It tears at the very core
please make the pain leave.

Banzai

It is like gold now
the fleeting sunset of spring
leaves behind snow flakes.

Banzai

Such a violent life
Guns, assault, rape, and murder
South Central, baby..

Banzai

For my family
for my country and my heart
I'll eat Cheerios.

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

I am up for a rap battle thread http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
I 'impose' my will because it's something to haiku about (excellent vocab.)

Battle between raps,
No more rhyming haiku 'whack,'
Just standard, on track?

[Sgt_Shligger]

*I also admit my rhymes are getting corny*

[Dreadlock]

Feel free to start it
we'll be rhymin' and droppin
like NWA was.

Banzai

It is very bland
there is no emotion here
I want to get out.

Banzai

Back to the threesome
that started it all nicely
it's the tri-haiku.

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

Rappin's so confined,
Such limited space and time,
All in three lil' lines.

We will have a duel,
Decide who can keep it cool,
Still true to ol' skool.

[Dreadlock]

Oh how I love you
your ravishing black locks
leave him and take me..

Banzai

A boogie is stuck
there, to the side of his face
stare at it's greeness.

Banzai

Run a mile now
run a few more tommorow
Ah, the joy of cramp.

Banzai

She's so innocent
her mind and body is young
she's untouchable.

Banzai

On top of the world
There are stars and white spaceships
I want to go there.

Banzai

How does it feel now?
to be bullied to the edge?
will you jump off now?

Banzai

Blue fish and red fish
black fish, green fish, and white fish
No, I'll take prime rib.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Black, white, tan, or brown
we have the same dark insides
must we gut ourselves?

Banzai

The ape sits and thinks
some woman stares at him now
crap is flung at her.

Banzai

Do you dislike me?
My language, my hair, my ways?
go finger yourself.

Banzai

I will have my dream
Seventy virgins await
I am one of them...

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight till
your balls are bitten.

Banzai

How long can I last?
A day, a week, a few months?
No, I must make love.

Banzai

I sit here eating
I munch on raw green seaweed.
I'm one with the sea.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

My skin is olive
Or is it black, white, or brown?
I am a human.

Banzai

As sweet as sugar
Smoother than the Blues Brothers
I guess I'm alright.

Banzai

A ball of fur sleeps
stashed away are his corn nuts
Winter has arrived

Banzai

We shall overcome
We shall overcome terror
But let us eat first.

Banzai

I want to hump it
My testosterone will help
I begin humping.

Banzai

Choose your weapon now
be it gun, knife, or icepick
use it to poke holes.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

It is menacing
It sits there staring at me
What a scary thing.

Banzai

You must learn to rock
After you have mastered rock
then you can learn roll.

Banzai

The smell of success
is quite delicious and good
mixed with a wet kiss.

Banzai

My fingers refuse
I cannot go on with this
I need a stop point.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

Here it comes again
the Haiku that comes and goes
I'm taking a break.

[Sgt_Shligger]

What you need to do
Is stop writing these haikus
and try a rhyme-ku

If only you knew
How it isn't hard to do
Just Jap' poems for you?

[Dreadlock]

No mister I won't.
The haiku will never stop.
Not till I get bored.

Banzai

Up in the morning
I turn to my beloved
and slap her ass hard.

Banzai

[Dreadlock]

I will eat salad.
I refuse to put dressing.
I will eat it plain.

Banzai

Now I must confess
I have seen many people
I despised them all.

Banzai


It is life giver.
It is the reason to live.
It is family.

Banzai

[Sgt_Shligger]

So that's how you roll,
Won't even give it a go,
Treating rhymes like foes

You just wanna stay,
Going along with your ways,
All so dark and grey

Even plan to slay,
Putting my slick rhymes away,
Right out in plain day?

*some one try rhyming

[ZaiV2]

You say to try rhymes,
But mine is far from sublime
Is my rhyme a crime?

Banzai.

I do think I've tried
While I'm bored out of my mind
To make some that rhyme

Banzai.

Here's one that doesn't.
And it's also the last one.
Haiku is fun, eh?

Banzai.

Looking back on these, they have a nice sense of rhythm, I think.

[Skuda]

the last post in this thread is over a month old, please do not bump

[Sgt_Shligger]

On 2006-05-07 18:09, Skuda wrote:
the last post in this thread is over a month old, please do not bump.



Skuda can't you see,
Topic's been bumped repeatedly,
Just necessity,

Create a new thread,
Very unecessary,
So now can you see?
________________

Haiku says it all, Skuda.

[ZaiV2]

Right on, Sarge Shligger
N00bs like me need support; no
offense, sir Kuda.