My Bus driver gave me more than a lift.

[Kizaragu]

I don't know if you can call it much of a dilemma but I'm in one hell of a pickle. At least to me anyway. Cor blimey guv'nor.
Damn my over-reactive imagination and the problems it causes!

I catch a bus to and from work every day.
there's a bus driver I speak to occasionally. I'm polite like that. I was raised that way. If someone makes an effort to be nice to me, I make an effort to be just as nice to them.
Oh dear god mother!? Why!? Why did you raise me up to be a nice lad!? I could of been a great badass. A leather jacket would look great on me. I'd wear it with style and the ladies would love it and I'd love the ladies. I'd be the stuff of legends. Woman would want me and men would want to be me.

So yeah... this bus driver.

Basically, this guy is probably more than ten years older than me. He seems nice enough guy, but one evening as I got off the bus he did the unthinkable. He gave me a note with his phone numer and with a message saying:


"Wanna go to the cinema or for a drink sometime? Give me a call. Speak to you tomorow."

I barely know this guy. He's thirty years old. Considerably older than me.
He asked me out through a note. A man of thirty years old. The bus was empty. We occasionally make small talk anyway. Why use a note!? Why!? That's what concerned me more than anything.
Another thing is, was he asking me out in the purely innocent sense or the mad monkey lovin' sense? Because my bat doesn't swing that way! I can't deny this body from the female gender! Hell I don't even know if he's gay!
Am I looking too much into it? Probably. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

I'm just annoyed at the situation this guy has put me in. The buses are about my only route into work and without them I'm foobarred. So apart from learning to drive (which I'm doing) I have no choice but to see him every day.

If he'd asked in person, It would of been far easier to read the situation. But now I made the mistake of telling him the following day (begrudgingly mind) that I'd probably meet up with him sometime in the next few weeks whilest he's on his two week break. What's worse is, I've lost the note with his freaking number on it.
It's a blessing in one way, but it's going to make the situation even more awkward in the long run. He could be sitting by the phone as I type this waiting for my call and planning his vengeance! Higher fares? Detours? Uncomfortable seating!? *sob*

Like I said I'm probably over reacting, but it's not every day a bus driver asks you out with a note.

[Solstis]

The only thing I can think of for you to do is panic. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

There another bus you can take? Sit in the back?

Maybe just tell him that you lost his note? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

[DevinTre]

Um, wow.

I'm not gonna ask how old you are, but you should most definitely be careful whatever your age, but if you're a minor, there would definitely be implications on his part.

Your comfort level with the bus driver is also a factor. Is this something you can sit down and talk with him about? Do you feel you would easily anger him or hurt his feelings? Since you're straight and he's apparently not, you will most likely have to deal with this situation sooner or later. Especially if you have to see him day after day.

I'm not sure what else to tell you other than to get to the bottom of it or try another bus or something. Sounds like you're going to have to tread the water carefully whatever you decide. Good luck.

[Dreadlock]

Say. "Sorry, I'm a lesbian."

[Tomoki]

This is easy. Is you're gay, say yes. If you're not, Say "sorry, you're nice and all but I'm not that kind of person."


Hotness is a factor.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Tomoki on 2006-03-05 18:11 ]</font>

[rena-ko]

dont worry, keep it a nice "thanks but sorry" (or something in the lines) and he'll let you be (if he's not a psycho). he probably did that with a chance of 1 of 10 in mind anyway.

[ABDUR101]

I was with a guy 14 years older than me. Not a big deal really if you get along.(Granted, you're not a homosexual, but all the same, would going out with an older woman bother you as well?)

Too bad you lost his note. As well, maybe he gave you a note so he would'nt have to waste time writing his number down and asking you in person, think of it more as a time saver and being prepared.(Granted, he could have asked you one on one and then given you a note with his number)

On the same token, when he's back from vacation, apologize for losing his note(I've given my number out to afew people, and some that I ran into after I was out of school and that I knew, and they never called back, which aside from pissing me off at the time since they were the ones who were interested in talking to me like we were still good friends, it also hurt abit), but at the same time, maybe offer to go out for coffee or lunch at a local restaurant during the day to talk. If you can hold a conversation with him on the bus, surely you can muster a sit down with him, and from there maybe figure out if he's into you as more than a friend or not.

Just because he gave you a note and put himself 'out there' doesn't mean he's going to continually be after you. If anything, you've got a new friend, yeah? Just don't go ape-shit if he does turn out to be a homosexual and was looking to hook-up with you. That's more or less a slap to the face.

[Stan]

On 2006-03-05 18:11, Tomoki wrote:
This is easy. if you like him, say yes, if you don't, Say "sorry, you're nice and all but I'm not that kind of person."


Hotness is a factor.

[roygbiv]

Well since you lost the note, just say "Thanks for the invite but I lost the note =/"

I feel sad for old gay people (as if you die once you hit 30)... but yeah... my guess is if you are reacting in this way at all you are probably not interested... In which case you should just say "Thank you, but not interested etc etc..."

Though on the other hand he may be lonely and want to make friends to hang out with or something... though this is probably not the likeliest situation...


On the other hand I totally considered dating this guy who was in his 40s... But then he dated this really sketchy guy that I don't like at all... and got moved into the "tainted" category...

Which is to say age can make things awkward, but it really depends on the person (and how hot they are)...

[Kizaragu]

On 2006-03-05 16:10, Solstis wrote:
There another bus you can take?
Nein. Nay nessy. I live in the sticks. No other way to work.



On 2006-03-05 17:25, Dreadlock wrote:
Say. "Sorry, I'm a lesbian."
Might work if I was female!



On 2006-03-05 16:17, DevinTre wrote:
I'm not gonna ask how old you are, but you should most definitely be careful whatever your age, but if you're a minor, there would definitely be implications on his part.
No, I'm not a minor. I'm the grand old age of 22. I've had access to crazy oats for many a year on that front. Thanks for the concern though! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif


On 2006-03-05 16:17, DevinTre wrote:
Your comfort level with the bus driver is also a factor. Is this something you can sit down and talk with him about? Do you feel you would easily anger him or hurt his feelings?

Like I said earlier, I only make small talk with him.
"Morning/Evening. You alright?" is about as much as I say to him. I really don't know the guy that well. He's my bus driver.
I really can't sit down and talk with him about it, I'm terrible in those situations. I panic and say shit I don't mean. I just try and find a quick route outta there.

He's got into this annoying habit where when the bus is empty, he'll pull over, walk over to where I am, sit next me and start talking at me. Coming out with random rubbish. Whilest there I am, tired, not really in the mood and just wanting to go home. Half the time I'll be in the middle of playing/watching summat on my psp and clearly obliviouse to the world. I glance up and my stomach churns when he pulls over and I see the bus is empty. I just don't like being put in that situation. I'm tired, I've been serving a-holes all day and I just want some time to wind down and go home. So I'm not really in the right frame of mind when he starts yapping at me. He's a nice enough guy, but at the end of the day, I just want to go home. Not make friends. It's sounds a lot meaner than it actually is.


On 2006-03-05 23:41, ABDUR101 wrote:
Too bad you lost his note. As well, maybe he gave you a note so he would'nt have to waste time writing his number down and asking you in person, think of it more as a time saver and being prepared.(Granted, he could have asked you one on one and then given you a note with his number)
You've made a very good point. like I said before, I'm probably reading far too much into it. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif



On 2006-03-05 23:41, ABDUR101 wrote:
On the same token, when he's back from vacation, apologize for losing his note, but at the same time, maybe offer to go out for coffee or lunch at a local restaurant during the day to talk. If you can hold a conversation with him on the bus, surely you can muster a sit down with him, and from there maybe figure out if he's into you as more than a friend or not.
I'll apologise for losing the note. It's a given. I'm a polite young chappy.
I don't know about arranging to go out for a drink though. I rarely get enough time off as it is and my days off are all over the place. Plus I lack sufficient funds! I find those forced intimate one on one situations really hard to handle. It's like a bomb is ticking in my head. It's all so forced. I panic and ramble on about stuff and really wish i was somewhere else. Now take these emotions and add "I'm out having a drink with my Bus driver" and I'd go crazy. CRAZY LIKE THE GOLF. I think you'd get the picture.


On 2006-03-05 23:41, ABDUR101 wrote:
Just because he gave you a note and put himself 'out there' doesn't mean he's going to continually be after you. If anything, you've got a new friend, yeah? Just don't go ape-shit if he does turn out to be a homosexual and was looking to hook-up with you. That's more or less a slap to the face.
Again you've made a good point. I just kinda freaked out with the whole note thing. The garuanteed 'pulling the bus over every night' combined with it, just has me a little freaked.

If he is gay, it doesn't nesacerilly bother me. I don't blame the guy, I'm irresistable! I've got several friends who are gay, so it's not even that big an issue. It's just I'm more annoyed about the fact that he's put me in this situation in the first place. Hell even if it were an older woman, I'd still be just as annoyed. I'm a customer. Nothing more. Just making small talk. I'm tired, wanna go how, now let me play my PSP in peace! http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif



On 2006-03-06 07:54, roygbiv wrote:
Though on the other hand he may be lonely and want to make friends to hang out with or something... though this is probably not the likeliest situation...
Like I said, it's not that I know he's gay for sure. It's just an inkling. So it could be innocent enough, but that's not my point. Gay or not, I barely know this guy, he's my bus driver. I'm annoyed he's put me in this situation. It's not as If he's unfriendly, He seems to get on with a lot of people. He just seems to have taken a shine to me, though I've done nothing to provoke this. I just find it a little creepy.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

He pulls the bus over in the middle of your trip home?

Well, that's something strange in and of itself.

Do you let him on unknowingly by continuing to talk as he does, or do you call him out on it and say, "What the hell mate?! I'd like to go home as son as possible I'm quite tired, what is your problem!"

If you're sitting there talking to him, half asleep or not, he might be thinking differently of you than you do of him, just being your bus driver, nothing more.

[Kizaragu]

On 2006-03-06 22:42, HAYABUSA-FMW- wrote:
He pulls the bus over in the middle of your trip home?

Well, that's something strange in and of itself.

Do you let him on unknowingly by continuing to talk as he does, or do you call him out on it and say, "What the hell mate?! I'd like to go home as son as possible I'm quite tired, what is your problem!"

If you're sitting there talking to him, half asleep or not, he might be thinking differently of you than you do of him, just being your bus driver, nothing more.


I'm just polite and make as little small talk as possible. Like I mentioned before, half the time I'm in the middle of using my psp and am clearly not interested. I never initiate chats, it's always him and they tend to be one sided without much of a responce from me.
If he mentions the 'going out thing' again, I think the best way I can avoid it is to mention I have a lady friend or something and say I'll have to check with her. Joke about it. As long as i'm subtle about it, it'll let him know both that I'm straight and that I'm busy anyway? I can easilly work with that.

[ABDUR101]

Hmm..weird that he pulls the bus over to chat with you. Either he does maybe have a thing for you, or he is just a really lonely guy and is looking for companionship(friends or otherwise).

[Atayin]

Oh no!

Kiz, that's very unfortunate. What an awkward situation to be in. A kinda similar thing happened to me, but the guy was WAY more direct. I was standing in line at a Starbucks on a day I was wearing a suit and tie, looking all formal. It was a long and boring line, and this dude is standing behind me. He just looked like an ordinary guy...

I casually yawned.. nodded and said "whats up man? so, long lines are fun, huh?" with obvious sarcasm, because that's how I am. I'm talkative and out-going, and I like to complain about everyday things.

Next thing I know, he's rubbing up on my back and very straightforwardly hitting on me. He was making innuendos that I didn't understand, but the guy had a gayness factor of about... I dunno, off-the-scale. Even if I WERE gay, which I'm not, I would have been offended by how strong this guy was coming on. This perv had no business trying to cop a feel. He only got away with it unharmed because

1. He was super-duper-effeminate-gay
2. There were lots of people around

The lesson? Keep to yourself. I think that people are just getting the wrong idea nowdays if you're too friendly... Just over the past 3 years or so, I've noticed friendliness is being awkwardly misinterpreted as "HEY LETS MAKE OUT SOMETIME". I'm even careful as to what girls I approach anymore. There are some real superfreaks out there and it's crazy.

How sad.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Atayin on 2006-03-08 11:05 ]</font>