I'm so fucking stupid....

[Allos]

_________

[BogusKun]

yeah i had this happen to me a lot. but if any female thinks all men are the same... you move on.

but if shes your friend you need to find a materialistic way to convince her that you want to be her friend w/o the bunny rabbit activities. buy her something a FRIEND would buy.or offer her a meal lunch or dinner... and use that time to explain. and dont talk about sex. just talk about good things that happen.

[ABDUR101]

Wow, nice how she just threw you in the man-pile eh?

Yeah, you should'nt have pressured her, but hopefully you had the best intentions. But it does take the trust of both people to go that far. It's not something you should just do unless you are very, very sure.

Live and learn, thats what it's all about. Considering this has effected you so much, I'm sure you'll grow much from this experience. Losing a friend is never a good thing, but there are plenty more, and there's always the opportunity to redeem yourself later on with other acts.

[Atayin]

Ugh. That was almost painful to read. There has to be SOME way you can prove to her that you're sincerely sorry, right??

I'm sure there's a way, but now probably isn't the time. Let the dust settle, and maybe a month from now or even several months from now.. humble yourself and let her know that it's still eating you up that you hurt her, and even if she hates you forever, you want her to know that you're genuinely sorry...

And if there isn't a way.. then, that sucks to lose a friend like that. I guess we all learn some lessons the hard way. Trust is a hard thing to earn back once it's lost. I think that the worst part of this situation is that it isn't just a little scuff. She probably really got hurt over it.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Atayin on 2006-03-10 20:59 ]</font>

[zwandude15]

Seeing what you said, and reading the other posts here, i can say this much.

1) You did mess up. Badly, if I might add. In no way does this help.

2) This won't be easy to forgive/forget. It'll come up, even if things work out between you.

3) You can still fix it, just know how to do it.

I can tell you how you may be able to fix this even. Of course, you need to consider all objectives in the situation. Lets start with the obvious.

- she thinks you're like every other guy.
- How to solve?: Show her you're not! Easier said than done.

- she's lost trust in you.
- How to solve?: Gain her trust.

- she thinks you're predictable.
- How to solve?: Assume thumbs-up position.

So what you have to do is: Tell her you're sorry. Tell her she can take as long as she needs to forgive you. Don't ask for anything. Wait it out, let her approach you. If she says you're just doing it to get her to trust you, so you can screw her over again, simply tell her something in the lines of, "you're right. So just don't believe me and forget about all of my efforts" and continue to give her space. If there's anything I know, I know women love a man who respects them, and their space.

Give it time. Show her you care. But more than anything, show her that you're you, and not the person she got that e-mail from.

[EphekZ]

If she says she trusted you before she should be able to trust you when you say: your email was a surprise to me I realize I was wrong in pressuring you... It caught me so off guard I was thinking clearly. or something along those lines.

[Kizaragu]

"Anger: A condition in which the mouth moves faster than the mind."

You made a mistake and you've been man enough to admit it.
Follow zwandude15's excellent advice. Tell her you're sorry and give her as much space as possible.

[Allos]

________

[Kizaragu]

On 2006-03-11 12:48, Allos wrote:
I just can't get out of this mood though. Please, everyone, think before you do anything.
Everyone learns the hard unfortunately way my man.
At least the situation is slightly better than it was before. Think of it that way. Just give her some space!

As for your mood, don't mope around thinking about it feeling sorry for yourself. What's done is done and there's nothing you can do about it. It'll just make it seem worse in you're head than it actually is. Do something productive!

[Maridia]

Oh god, what a stupid whiny girl. Like she's never been horny before. Like she's never been disappointed before. If you two were as close friends as you say you were, she would NEVER have flipped out and generalized you like that so quickly, and if she did, she would have the respect to hear you out and GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Girls like that are not worth anyone's time, this I firmly believe. Shit happens. We all say stuff when we're mad. Like she's never made a mistake before ;P Allos, it sounds like you dodged a bullet, man. I know you feel bad now, but if she's going to do this shit to you, just move on. You need to quit being such a "nice guy" and learn when to let go and when to try and keep things going.

[BogusKun]

It's okay to give chances but it's always okay to move on so don't be afraid of yourself. Just do your best to save the friendship.

[Allos]

__________

[BogusKun]

So now you have a new problem on hand... I hope it works out for you. Inside... everyone is the same. I know how it is to feel ditched myself.