Vivere+Misere :>

[FOAtHeart]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v84/FOAtHeart/608.jpg


Behold! Special thanks to navci for letting me draw them and for helping with some anatomy dealies. :>


EDIT: Somebody give me an advanced critique, please. I think this picture shows my best capabilities. :>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: FOAtHeart on 2006-03-13 23:07 ]</font>

[KuroNetsune]

On 2006-03-13 23:02, FOAtHeart wrote:

Behold! Special thanks to navci for letting me draw them and for helping with some anatomy dealies. :>



mrawr o.o that's really beautiful, the coloring is awesome and the style is great, I really like how you do the eyes @.@ nice work with the blush/hightliths here and there, the shoudlers caugth my attention right away http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif


good handle of the fabrics, too


ps.

the detail on the lace is wonderful @.@ all over


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KuroNetsune on 2006-03-13 23:05 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KuroNetsune on 2006-03-14 06:04 ]</font>

[navci]

@Kuro: It might be nice if you don't quote the original picture. Less bandwidth suckage from the picture host.

@Fofo: Thanks for drawing them!
I still have some problem with Vivere's torso. As is the back lacey part so also be more on the right, and hugging her backline. Meaning it shouldn't be straight, but slightly more curved.

While we seem to see everything on Misere's figure under her dress, we can't really see anything past Vivere's upper torso at all. Given the way the other figure is drawn, it seems like you should see a bit of Vive's butt there as well. (now that I look at it again, I think I am seeing it being hinted, but it doesn't seem prominent enough given shape of the rest of her body)

Lastly one thing about the dress. What shape are they? Are they poofy lolita dresses? In that case we shouldn't see Misere's lower torso shapes at all. If they are poofy it is also not really showing on Vive's back. It seems flat there.

These are just really anatonmy and point of view thing that bugs me a bit. I think your shading is quite pretty. Very blendy. Especially the skin, looks it can be in skin care commercial. :>

[Maridia]

Since I don't know enough to give you an indepth critique, I'll leave that to the big dogs. Just wait til ladyjaderiver gets here, you'll get your critique http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

as for my comments on the picture:

I think I'm in love. The colors @_@ so beautiful

[DamonKatu]

I cant help but to fall in love with this picture <3 (DK Gets punched by their boyfriends). I know they are not single though. Every guy should know that woman like that always has a brutal boyfriend by their side (but it dosnt make them bad, they are just protective).

[Jehosaphaty]

On 2006-03-14 01:02, Maridia wrote:
I'll leave that to the big dogs. Just wait til ladyjaderiver gets here, you'll get your critique http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif


While that was meant in jest, lj gets enough flack as it is. If people can't deal with constructive, straightup critcism then they shouldn't post.

edit: I didn't mean to hyjack fo's thread, so as far as commenting goes, I like what navci had to say. The way the dress sits on the woman in blue is really the only hitch I see that stands out. It's very well done.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Jehosaphaty on 2006-03-14 14:10 ]</font>

[Ryna]

On 2006-03-14 07:58, Jehosaphaty wrote:


On 2006-03-14 01:02, Maridia wrote:
I'll leave that to the big dogs. Just wait til ladyjaderiver gets here, you'll get your critique http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif


While that was meant in jest, lj gets enough flack as it is. If people can't deal with constructive, straightup critcism then they shouldn't post.


Let's keep the topic related to FO's picture. He/she is asking for an in-depth critique, so let's oblige him/her.

[Sayara]

Like i said in DA fo, the only thing that stands out to me as weird, is how large misere's eye is. It just seems slightly larger then it should. (To me anyway)

@navci
I recall Fo mentioning about heart/club frills.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Tingle on 2006-03-14 08:48 ]</font>

[CupOfCoffee]

Agh! When I first saw this, I was like, "Woah. Hands down, my favorite FO piece." But then I thought back to the one of the bandaged girl with one eye, and I think that one might have actually been my favorite. I'd probably have to see them both side by side to choose.

Anyway, this one is awesome. The fabrics and things, it's all just pure excellence. It reminds me of a gothic portrait of two highly strained Victorian era women or something cool like that.

[navci]

On 2006-03-14 07:16, DamonKatu wrote:
I cant help but to fall in love with this picture <3 (DK Gets punched by their boyfriends). I know they are not single though. Every guy should know that woman like that always has a brutal boyfriend by their side (but it dosnt make them bad, they are just protective).



Actually. They are not women. They are a sort of being that only take human form. So they can appear in either man or woman depending on the mood of the day. So er, protective boyfriends might be themselves? <.< >.>

<.<

[Maridia]

On 2006-03-14 07:58, Jehosaphaty wrote:


On 2006-03-14 01:02, Maridia wrote:
I'll leave that to the big dogs. Just wait til ladyjaderiver gets here, you'll get your critique http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif


While that was meant in jest, lj gets enough flack as it is. If people can't deal with constructive, straightup critcism then they shouldn't post.



That was entirely serious. She gives wonderfully indepth critiques, and I was just saying that when she got here, she most certainly would oblige. You could have PM'd me about that instead of making it an issue in FO's topic.

Back on topic: FO, your lace is exquisite. ;o

[DamonKatu]

On 2006-03-14 10:20, navci wrote:


On 2006-03-14 07:16, DamonKatu wrote:
I cant help but to fall in love with this picture <3 (DK Gets punched by their boyfriends). I know they are not single though. Every guy should know that woman like that always has a brutal boyfriend by their side (but it dosnt make them bad, they are just protective).



Actually. They are not women. They are a sort of being that only take human form. So they can appear in either man or woman depending on the mood of the day. So er, protective boyfriends might be themselves? <.< >.>

<.< (lol)



Kafie: Thats DK. Always jumping the gun before thinking things out v.v'. please excuse me while I beat the fire out of him. *grabs a hammer and sends him flying*



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DamonKatu on 2006-03-14 10:46 ]</font>

[CupOfCoffee]

Damon, really, I know you like to make those roleplaying posts about your characters doing things to each other, but Fan Works is just not the place. Someone already said this to you once, but I'll reiterate: do you have any idea how disappointing it is to have posted a work and see that you got a reply, only to find that it's just DamonKatu writing nonsense about hitting people with hammers? Please stop spamming in here. If you want to do that kind of stuff, you should bookmark FKL.

And on-topic, I actually rather like the quirky anatomy in FO's picture. It lends itself well, I think, to the twisted, starving type look of the drawing. I think if they looked more realistic, it would hurt the overall tension, which I think is done perfectly.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: CupOfCoffee on 2006-03-14 11:45 ]</font>

[Solstis]

Male vivere <3

FO, lovely shading and blending, as usual. Some proportion is off, but eh, who wants to be picky?

[DamonKatu]

On 2006-03-14 11:44, CupOfCoffee wrote:
Damon, really, I know you like to make those roleplaying posts about your characters doing things to each other, but Fan Works is just not the place. Someone already said this to you once, but I'll reiterate: do you have any idea how disappointing it is to have posted a work and see that you got a reply, only to find that it's just DamonKatu writing nonsense about hitting people with hammers? Please stop spamming in here. If you want to do that kind of stuff, you should bookmark FKL.

And on-topic, I actually rather like the quirky anatomy in FO's picture. It lends itself well, I think, to the twisted, starving type look of the drawing. I think if they looked more realistic, it would hurt the overall tension, which I think is done perfectly.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: CupOfCoffee on 2006-03-14 11:45 ]</font>


Sorry about that. DK is ADHD and kafie has ADD. these charters fused together is, well, me. 15% ADHD, 50% ADD, and 35% adutism in my personality. Must. regain. self control!

Yea, they deffently look too real that it starts to scare me alittle. Women would actully kill just to have/keep a look like that. I better just stay out of the way.

[Maridia]

On 2006-03-14 13:46, DamonKatu wrote:


On 2006-03-14 11:44, CupOfCoffee wrote:
Damon, really, I know you like to make those roleplaying posts about your characters doing things to each other, but Fan Works is just not the place. Someone already said this to you once, but I'll reiterate: do you have any idea how disappointing it is to have posted a work and see that you got a reply, only to find that it's just DamonKatu writing nonsense about hitting people with hammers? Please stop spamming in here. If you want to do that kind of stuff, you should bookmark FKL.

And on-topic, I actually rather like the quirky anatomy in FO's picture. It lends itself well, I think, to the twisted, starving type look of the drawing. I think if they looked more realistic, it would hurt the overall tension, which I think is done perfectly.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: CupOfCoffee on 2006-03-14 11:45 ]</font>


Sorry about that. DK is ADHD and kafie has ADD. these charters fused together is, well, me. 15% ADHD, 50% ADD, and 35% adutism in my personality. Must. regain. self control!

Yea, they deffently look too real that it starts to scare me alittle. Women would actully kill just to have/keep a look like that. I better just stay out of the way.



Seek help, and keep your weirdness to yourself.

On topic, Navi, tell us the story of those two characters? I've never heard it. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

AND FO THE SHADING IS LOVELY OMG <33

[ladyjaderiver]

First off: I hate you. You can draw hands. (Please note that's not to be mean - I say that exact comment to nearly everyone I know who can draw such beautiful hands.)

Okay, as far as faces and hair go, I think Vivere looks awesome, but there's a lot about Misere that bothers me. The perspective on her eyes is off (the one on the left is too large), and the way her hair comes across her face on the right seems kind off. Well, taking a second look, Vivere's hair bothers me a bit, too. Those big loops of hair should be more behind her/down her back than off to the side - speaking as someone who has long hair, I can tell you that when you turn your head, your hair still stays behind you, especially when posed like that. Just something you should keep in mind in the future. ^_^

I gotta say, your detail work on the lace is just fantastic. Is there a larger version of this anywhere? If so, I'd like to see it so I can get a better look at the lace. ^_^

At any rate, this is just a little nit-picky thing, but you've angled the collar/top of Misere's dress wrong, but only by a little bit. That's what's giving me the impression that her left breast (on the viewer's right) is bigger than the right one. Because of the downward angle of her shoulders, breasts, etc, the collar of the dress should generally follow the same angle.

I'm a bit confused about what their dresses are supposed to actually look like, though. Do they stick out like that all the time, or are the girls supposed to be sitting down? It looks to me like they should be sitting, from the way the dresses are flowing out around them, but that doesn't work with what you can see of Misere's legs through the fabric, or with how the girls are positioned. There would have to be an awful lot of petticoats to make their skirts stick out like that, and if that were the case, you wouldn't see the form of their legs or anything under the dress.

I absolutely adore that you included the seams on Misere's sleeves though. Far too many people leave out the construction of garments when they're drawing, so it makes me very happy when people take that into consideration. ^_^

Also, I think navci pointed out that you angled the lace on the back of Vivere's dress a little strangely. Something about her shoulder blades is bothering me, too, but I can't quite place what it is.

The way you coloured the skin is nice, though I've noticed in my floating around art sites that it's something of a fad right now. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, especially since you've done a much better job with it than most people I've seen attempt it.

[Outrider]

Excellent work, FO.

The colors are great, the details are wonderful and the image has a downright creepy, yet intriguing feel.

I can offer a few comments if we're picking nits.

I think the faces come off looking slighlty odd, and I feel that it mostly has to do with the far eye on both characters. It seems to be shifted over a bit too much in both cases.

The bottom of Vivere's dress looks a little flat. For instance, I don't really see where the buttocks would be, and I imagine in that position it would be a bit more prominent.

Odd that this caught my eye, but it seems to me that Misere's left breast looks larger than the right one. Might just be the angle, though.

Now I know I'm not one to talk, but I'd really be interested in seeing a more detailed background on this image. I know that at least for myself I find that I'm not in the mood for doing a background after working so hard on the main subject, but the solid color of what I assume is the wall almost prevents this picture from being all it can. Plus, the curtains look great, but lack some detail.

But again, just being picky. I think you did an awesome job, seriously. The amount that you have advanced and the improvements from picture to picture never ceases to amaze me. Again, excellent work.

[QuadTail]

LadyJaderiver Pretty much covered all I was going to say http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rabite.gif And probably put it into words better than I can, too.
Only, I'd like to add that their shoulders... Well, they look tensed, like they're almost like shrugging a bit. I think they should me more relaxed.
Think "water" in the lines there. More gradual, gentle curves. ... I think. (Don't take me too seriously, I'm not too good at this.)
Also, maybe the shading is a little bit too sharp on the keybone, and, the shoulder blades.