FanFic: Broken Wings, Eternal Deadlock

[Dre_o]

It is three years after The Incident.

One person is in acoma and another is dead.

Ragol has a huge canyon in it, and it's about to get another.

Within the deep forrest lies the usual twist of paths and slaughter houses for Boomas. But even deeper into the uncharted parts, lies a young man in the canopy of a tree.

MAG on his lap, weapon to his side, he contemplates what has happened to his life while taking in the cool, damp air.

"...Our broken wings are falling and it won't be long..."

In a moment that he will later consider the first glimpse of his guardian angle, the boy glances at something that catches his eye on the ground. Milliseconds later, a flash that is only comperable to a nuclear blast ignites the sky. Instantly a thrust of air and debris crushes the tree into splinters and sends the HUmar flying.

Pelted by rocks, he slams into a boulder and falls unconcious.
________________________________________________
Episode 4 caught my eye. I thought I could make something with it. Let me know.






<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-08-18 22:51 ]</font>

[Dre_o]

Within an hour, the HUmar had regained conciousness, but just barely. He was just awake enough to recognize the sound of his MAG colliding with his skull in an attempt to wake him.

"Ok..cough...ok...I'm awake." he sputters pushing the Mag away with his hand. No sooner than his hand hits the ground is he unconcious again.

To his sleeping mind, what seems like an eternity passes before in the darkness of his sleep a thick carbon smell forces it's way into his senses.

Fire! flashes before his mind and he snapps to attention. All around him the forrest has burst into flames, leaving nothing but smoke and rubble behind. All around him, the HU can hear the sound of branches breaking and animals calling out in fear.

"Dammit, why of all day did I pick today to go and relax in the nice calm forrest," he curses in his mind,"one way or another, there is no time for games."

Shifting around in the grass, he's stricken by a piercing pain at his waist. To his dismay, where he landed after the blast is the exact place a tree had to fall.

"Oh great, and the pool full of fun gets deeper"

"..our skinned knees are bleeding, and it won't be long..."

To his luck, and a little bit of divine intervention, the HU's weapon is just in reach beneath the smoldering brances. Quickly grabbing it, he flips it on and watches it kick on never being happier to see it's orange glow.

Sweet, now I may have a chance. That is if this day doesn't get any worse.

It will.

[Dre_o]

Precious minutes tick by with little to no avail as the HUmar constantly hacks at the tree.

Jeeze, why isn't it working?

The nearby brush fire draws closer every minute and the HU knows it. What he doesn't know is his weapon is damaged. That fact is brought to his mind as the weapon begins to spark and sizzle in his hand.

"Hot damn!" he shouts as the smoldering remains of a once glorious weapon slam against the ground in a heap of fried metal. "Hell, that's not good."

(writing this at school, I'll continue this at home later http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif )

[Dre_o]

Well then, that has just made things a little more difficult, the HU sputters as he ruminates on a way out of this situation.

Suddenly, force of trees exploding overhead causes splinters the size of small Sabers to rain down upon the hunter. One of the shards, sharp as steel, slices through the Hunter's light shoulder plating, causing a fountain of blood to erupt from the wound.

"Aughh!" the HU screams as the stab of pain shoots into his brain. Must....get free is all that crosses his mind before he is makes the decision. With a burst of inhuman strength triggered by the survival instinct, the sound of a bone snapping erupted from the HU's burried arm.
Yes I'm free. He shakes with a mind cluttered under pain and agony.

Dragging his arm from under the smoldering tree, he re-adjusts his shoulder with another sickening sound of snapping bone.

Now it's time to get the hell out of here.

[Dre_o]

Pushing as hard as he can with his arm that is not disabled, the boy can barely get the tree to budge. Not much time left he thinks as he coughs on the now dense smoke. I've got to get out of here.

"...I'm not alone. This is my true freedom. I watch the rising sun"

"Looks like you could use some help." comes a voice from above, a familiar voice.

"God damn, if you are who I think you are...." responds the Hu, never happier to hear the once forgotten voice.

[Dre_o]

Reaching down, a hand extends to the burried HU.

"Hey! I'm injured," screamed the HU," be careful!"

"Oh suck it up! You'll be fine!" returns the voice, clasping hands with the HU.

Both men strain against the weight of the tree until, inch by inch, the burried HU is finally excevated.
Lying on another fallen log and bleeding like hell, the HU manages to look at the face of his exausted savior. The man, not much older than the HU, is covered in Ranger body armor, all the way up to half of his face. Above the mask, burns bright teal eyes.

"Heh, you know who you remind me of, don't you?" the HU coughs through the smoke.

"........no more words. It isn't safe here." the RA says, retracting into a secluded silence.

"....what ever. Could you..ya know...help me up?"

"Sure. Lets get out of here." as the RA hoists his companion to his feet. "How did you get trapped anyways?"

"....no more words. It's not safe."
"..I see.."

[Dre_o]

"It's getting dark." the RA says almost in a whisper.

"That's weird, it was midday when the blast occurred." the HU replies in an even lower tone.

"We better seek shelter for the night."
"Agreed."

Hobbling through the dense undergrowth, the duo wanders upon a pile of rocks. Two of the rocks are stacked together while a third leans against them, leaving a chasm just big enough for 2 medium sized people.

These two are not not medium sized.

"Not it!" blurts the RA.
"Oh come on!" spits the gimping HU
"What??"
"I'm injured!"
"So?"
"I should get to sleep under it!"
"Pshhhhh.....what ever."

....Looking back I clearly see, what it is that's killing me.....

Slowly and quietly, the fires burn out, leaving nothing but smoldering remains and ash. In the pale darkness, little can be seen but the glow of a small, dying fire.

Two sticks rest over the fire, upon those sticks is the final resting place of a small Rappy. Stripped of it's feathers, the bird's remains are coming to a crispy red.

"Here, eat." coaxes the RA, handing the bandaged HU the cooked bird.

"Thanks." as he takes the branch and takes a good look at it.
"....What's wrong?"
"It just looks.....unappatizing."
"Oh come on! (swallow) It tastes like chicken!" grins the RA.

Mask or not, the HU knows the RA is grinning because he is enjoying every minute of his physical advantage over the HU.

"...Ok..." he says reluctantly, taking a huge chunk out of the fowl.

"Oh yea...I was wondering something," the HU says with a mouth full,"How did you know I was in trouble?"
"I didn't. At least not until that branch impaled your arm. That moment, something in the back of my mind told me you were near."

Several minutes pass as the fire continues to die and the last morsels of the bird dissappear. Silence encompaces the area as the light finally fades and only the outline of the HU and RA are visible.

"You know, it's been three years now."
"Yea. I know."
"I've been wondering something all these years."
"Hmm?"
".....Do you regret what you did?"

[Dre_o]

Dawn emerges from the still darkness, engulfing the charred land in renewed light, but few creatures are alive to greet the radiant warmth. Beneath the rising sun lies the remains of the forest, which now looks like a jungle of death. Burned shadows of trees stand like remnents of the past.

Beneath the dust covered rocks, the now bandaged HU rests wearily. His shallow sleep is disrupted by the sound of a weapon coming to the ready.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he instinctivly whispers to the RA sitting on the side.
"Shh" the RA hisses without even budging.
"Uh...ok." the HU responds with only the slightest indication.

Following the RAs eyes, the HU glances into the smoldering remains of the forest, only to be met by two demonic yellow eyes.

Oh crap, that doesn't look good

_________________
Will finish at home.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-04-27 20:08 ]</font>

[Dre_o]

The eyes flash with spite and a burst of energy flies through the dust, slamming into the rock structure and explodes into darnkess cinders. Moments later, the entire impact mark is melted into a puddle.

"Wow, that was close." shouts the RA, just 3 feet away from the now molten granite.
"What was that??!!" blasts the HU from the other side of the rock. "Do you know what's attacking us?"
"No idea, but I really don't wanna know!" screams the first, dodging another blast. "But we need to find some way to stop it!"

And as suddenly as it began, the assault stopped. At the edge of the clearing, not even a track was left of the mysterious combatant. Only the stale wind, charged with dark energy, continues to move.

"What the hell?" stutters the HU
"I don't know, but I'm not staying around to find out! You comin?"
"Of course!" and the pair burst into the maze of charred trunks.

[Dre_o]

....Cause I see in you, more than you'll ever know....

A trail of crimson spots leads deep into the destroyed jungle. Hunched over a log, a boy coughs up blood that spills onto the ground. Arm dripping in blood, he looks to his companion who is crouching under charred remnents.

"If I lose much more blood..."
"Well moron, it's your fault for running and opening your wound back up."
"Don't give me that crap. You have a mono on you?"
"Don't know if it'll stop the blood flow but sure."

Opening a pocket in his armor vest, the injured withdraws what looks like a large needle socketer.

"Hmmm?" asks the latter
"An antiglemic injector. It'll help stop the blood."

Mono inserted into the injector, the HU jams the point into the gash and injects the substance.

"So...." he falls next to his companion "What do you think that thing was?"
"I don't know. I've never seen anything like that attack."
"Maybe a.........D-Cell Mutation?"
"Perhaps....but....didn't those only occur under the surface?"
"Yes...or so we know."

An unseen shimmer of angelic light and the HU is instantly aware that something is amiss....
"Quiet...........listen.........we're not alone........"

so many views, yet so few......no comments....






<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-04-30 16:31 ]</font>

[CupOfCoffee]

This is really pretty good. There's action, a sense of forboding, and a kind of overlying mystery that seems like it could be resolved in a really interesting way later. The only problem I see aside from a few grammatical mistakes here and there is that I'm not sure where the story is going. Now, this in and of itself is not a bad thing, but what makes it problematic is that I can't tell if the reader is supposed to feel this way or not. So far these two guys that I don't really know or have a handle on are running around in a burning forest and getting hurt. I also don't know which one the guardian angel is, and the longer the characters remain faceless, the loinger it generally takes for the reader to start to learn them once they gain identities. People also tend to miss out on personality quirks and subtle plot points when they can't grasp the characters they're reading about.

That said, keep going. Being one of the only active fanfics on the board these days, I'm definitely reading. *grin*

[Dre_o]

(was about to go to bed when I got some inspiration)

Beyond the makeshift cover, surrounded by charred branches lies a clearing. A clearing, covered in blood and the remains of what once were animals.

"My god...." gasps the HU "What the hell happened?"
"I have no idea. And god knows I don't want to know."
"Get down!"

Both voices flatten onto the ground as what appears to be a Hildebear stumbles into the open. But, the bones jutting from it's body and the twisted flesh upon it's swolen muscles show that at one time, was it a Hildebear. Now, it's an abomination fit only for the pits of hell. Gruesom image, lust for blood, future mutations of this creature will be what is known as the Astark.

Collapsing to the earth, the defiled creature comes to it's final resting place in the middle of the cold, bloody clearing.

"What is was that thing?" whispers the HU as he raises to his feet.
"I don't know."
"Lets check it out!" he claims, already with a foot on the log.
"No!"
"Oh come on! I'm just going to take a peek!"
"I said no!" screams the RA, grabbing the other's arm and slamming him into a tree.
"Let me go! I want to take a look!"
"No!" repeats the RA, this time pulling a small device from the front of his armor. The device instantly procedes to rapidly make clicking noises. "You know what this is! And you know what it means!"

Realizing his fatal mistake to be, the HU releases his hold on the other's arm. With not so much as an apology said, the two begin to move towards the north, in search of the ominous impact.

(hey Cup, thanks for the reply .)

[Dre_o]

... I wanna love. I wanna feel. Find peace. Find real....

"This whole thing seems just so familiar." contimplates the HU
"What are you talking about?"
"The impact. The destruction. The unexplained mutations...It just reminds me of...."
".....First impact?"

First impact, also known as the vanishing of Pioneer 1, occurred almost eight years prior to this cosmic destruction. First impact was the point at which the HU's life changed forever. The impact in which he became the sole defender of himself and his loved ones.

"Hey bro.." asks the former
"Yea?"
"Does it....hurt often?"
"Heh....kinda funny...ever since I found you, it hasn't stopped burning....."

Three years earlier

"Let me through!" screams a voice in the darkness
"No! Use common sense! It's too late to save her now!" returns another
"You're wrong! I can make it!"
"Hey! We may not agree, but I'm still your older brother and I won't let you go and get yourself killed!!"
"I said....GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

A flash of energy, and the smell of fresh blood spills into the air. The sound of a body slamming onto the ground resonates in the shadows.

"....I'm......sorry....." rings out as running steps fade into the distance.

[Dre_o]

The broken forest slowly breaks away as the two warriors emerge into a vast, bone dry dirt valley. All around them, the shattered remains of rock debris forms high set walls and chasems with no visible bottom.

"Well now, looks like we need to watch out step." chuckles the Ra, shoving a pebble over the edge.

He doesn't have time to hear it hit the bottom. The calm air is shattered as a body comes crashing down from the cliff above. It slams into the dust with the sickening crunch of breaking bones. Following the mauled body, a dark figure bounds off the peak of the structure and lands next to the corpse.

The hulking, blood covered creature realeases a deep bellow, kneels down, and begins....to feed. As the beast consumes what remains of the body, the duo attempts to get a view of the horror.

"You have a usable weapon?"
"Handgun."
"That's it?"
"Other's busted."
"Crap."
"I know."
"You ready?"
"As I'll ever be."

Launching themselves out from cover, they are met by several fireballs that explode onto the blood stained creature. Dazed but unharmed, the monster flies into a murderous rampage, charging head first at the castor of the Foie, who has dissappeared over opposing hill.

"Well then, looks like that settles that." says the bewildered HU.
"Hmm..I don't think so.." calls the RA as he advances on the stated uprising. "Something feels wrong."

[Dre_o]

please forgive this semi-bump, I will write some more tomorrow (hopefully)

[Dre_o]

Just a teaser, since I am very tired

The dust filled wind howels over the craggy ground, as the sparks of photon weapons and fresh blood pollute the air. Down the sheer cliff face, explosion marks and crimson trails cover all. And in the center of this bloody hell hole, lies the crater.

[Dre_o]

...Constantly it burdens me, how the choice I can't belive...

Over the cliff edge, the RA peers through the smoke and debris.

"Hmmm..."
"What can you see?"
"Looks like....the 32nd Mobile Infantry Division..."
"What??!! The military got here already?"
"It would appear so..."

Recovering from the edge, the two nervously stare into the seemingly infinite, desolate destruction.

"....They...seem to be taking heavy casualties" murmers the first.
"...Grr....Should we help them?"
"I believe we should."
"........."
"What? You not want to save them?"
"....I want to save them...but I don't want to be at the business end of a bad mistake.."
"Oh come on! We know the military doesn't like either of us much, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't help them!"
"Ok ok. We'll help in any way we can."

Quickly throwing the remnents of their gear together, the HU realizes a slight glitch in their plan:
"Shit!"
"What?"
"I forgot, my weapons are busted!"
"Here!" tossing the hilt of a weapon at the injured Hunter. Igniting the weapon, he is met by a green shaft of thermal energy.
"A Saber?"
"Would you rather fight those...those THINGS with your bare hands?"
"Haha!...Nope, no more complaints."
"Well, lets go then. It's a long way down."

[Dre_o]

Intermission Part 1:

I've chosen this point to put a little intermission in our story. In this post, I will refer to some events from the past in order to hopefully clarify some confusion.

3 Years Ago

Somewhere in the shattered, black abyss, a shrill and mournful voice blasts through the darkness. Within the darkness, three bodies occupy the seemingly endless void.

"He....he....he's....dead..." mumbles the voice.
"......."
"What?? Don't you have anything to say?" screams the first at the silent.
"..He got what was coming to him."
"Kyle you bastard!! How dare you say that! He was your brother too!" explodes the first through the nill.
".....so what....."
The first to speak, insane with rage, punches the second one in the face, sending him to the floor.
"He sacraficed his life to save yours and all you can say is 'so what'!!!"
"He made his own decision, I will make mine! And god forbid you, the mighty Dre, must make one of your own!" returns the Ranger, also immobile with fury.

Those words fall like a brick wall on the Hunter. Those words are the kind that only one other person would use. Those words are the words of their father. Stricken by the image of his father that is raising to it's stunned feet, only one choice remains.

".....I'm going to take him....."
"....."
"...I'm.....I'm going to give him a burial...."
"....."
"....And....if I ever see you again.....I'll kill you."

__________________________________________________ _______________


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-05-19 22:46 ]</font>

[jean-yavon]

I like the way you wrote this story. Its hard to tell what will happen next. Keep up the good work.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: jean-yavon on 2006-05-22 18:39 ]</font>

[Dre_o]

Cool! Thanks for the comment Jean! And here goes the second part of the Intermission (pretty short)

__________________________________________________ ____________
Three Years Ago

"Thirty seconds until core overload" blasts a mechanical voice from the void.
Two figures loom over the red hot nuclear core.

"I can stop it." pants a female voice from one of the people.
"Too risky. I won't let you." retorts the other.
"If I don't, everyone and everything will die."
"We can get out of here before it goes!"
"No we can't! Use common sense!" remunstrates the female "If I don't stop it, EVERYONE will die! You, me......elder brother......everyone."

Suddenly, the female breaks away from the other and leaps over the rail, spreading a barrier with what remains of here strength. Through the unseen void, an energy is awakened she knows she will be victorious.

Still, through the pulsating fury, one word can be heard.

No.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-05-30 20:48 ]</font>

[Dre_o]

Wooo hooo! Summer! Yah! Ok, intermission's over baby. Next post I will get back onto the story!

[jean-yavon]

I was wondering when you would finish this. Ill be waiting for your next post.

[Dre_o]

Lines in hand, the two brothers procede to repel down the blood splattered canyon wall. The cliffs fade behind them as the duo quickly procede closer to the center of the chaos.

"...It's amazing, the military already has an outpost set up." mumbles the RAmar as his gaze falls over the large metallic structures that surround the center of the impact.
"That was exactly what I was thinking" returns the HU as he crouches behind a boulder.

As the men advance on the tainted battle field, they steadily come across increasing numbers of bodies. Both military and monster.

"Holy hell....what happened here?" the RA stutters, crouching over a particularly shredded corpse, "I knew the military wanted power....but...."
"Brother! Here's a survivor!" Screams the HU, who is huddled over a body as well.

Rushing to is sibling's side, the Ranger is confronted with what might of looked like a RAmarl in it's prime. Now, it is a barely breathing body in shredded clothing.

"Hey! Hey! Can you hear me? What happened?!" inquires the Hunter as he makes every attempt to help her that he can.
".....they....." gasped the woman.
"Wait! No! don't push yourself!" burst the Ranger,"Dre, let her rest. If she over-exerts herself, she'll die."

The thought of the RAmarl dying is quickly crampped in the mind of the Ranger as he is startled by the ominous roar of a creature. A very close creature.

EDIT: Damn grammatical errors that I don't remember how to fix

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-06-10 14:06 ]</font>

[Dre_o]

"What the hell?" hisses the Ranger.

"Stop." flashes his brother who braces his hand on the injured RAmarl

"What?"

"Look over my shoulder."

Upon shifting his eyes into the indicated direction, all the Ranger sees is the craggy ground of that hell of a canyon. With the next gust of wind comes a stunning realization. Among the stattered cacti and broken rocks is a visual distortion. Barely visible at first glance, the bending of the light slowly advances on the three survivors.

"We're surrounded by them, aren't we?" whispers the Ranger

"Yes, it would seem so."

"That......," stutters the wounded woman,"Is what....I was trying to tell you..."

"Well, we walked into this ambush," the Hunter mutters, "and I'll be damned if we don't walk out."

[Dre_o]

"Bring it on!" screams the Hunter as he leaps forward and lashed at the barely visible creatures. Despite the speed of the attack, the beast dodges with a lighting quick sidestep. With a low growl, the thing's camoflage seemingly melts away leaving it's grotesque figure in the dust. It's bent horn and it's scaled body clash horribly with it's blood red eyes.

"What the hell is this?" he bursts. Without time to get an answer, the Hunter is blasted back by the gas of the animal's counterattack.

"Cough! Shit, Poison!"

As the two brothers regroup over the injured RAmarl, completely surrounded by the horrifying lizards, a dark aura suddenly falls over the crater. At the same time, the trio's assailants almost dissolve into the air, leaving not a trace of their presence.

"Oh hell. You don't think it's back do you?" whispers the Ranger.

"Jeeze I hope not. And if it is, we need to get out of here." returns the Hunter.

__________________________________________________ _________________
I'm sorry for the ever shortening installments, work has been murder http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif
But I will TRY to get some in more often.

[Dre_o]

The black aura falls like a solid mist onto the forbidden canyon. Shadows appear to come alive with every pulsation of the dark energy. Fear, forboding, danger, all pierce through the hearts of the survivors.

"Shit, it's here.." the Hunter coughs.
"Dre."
"What?"
"Listen very carefully." whispers the Ranger. "We make our stand here and now."
"Seriously?"
"Damn right. If that thing followed us all the way here, what makes you think it'll ever stop?"
"....Ok....We stand and fight then."

As the darkness creeps upon the fighters, a pair of yellow eyes assimilates from the cold darkness. Steps are heard permiating through the invinite oblivion. Without warning, a small figure appears from the solution of darkness. Short and stubby, the creature's body is twisted and misformed beyond salvation. Perhaps the most disturbing feature of this grotesque figure is it's shredded face. What once resembled a beak is now a blood stained talon, accompanied by two twisted horns protruding from the sides of it's skull.

"Oh my god...."
"Is it.....mutated....?" fumbles the Ranger
"I....don't know....."

Pulling it's head back, the mutation roars yet no sound is heard. Without any warning, spears of darkness spawn from the void and crush the ground in front of the trio. Debris flies into the air as they land on the cragged ground.

"Go! Attack it at close range!"
"Already on it!!"

Dashing forward, the Hunter evades several spikes that appear from nowhere. As the gap closes, the evil energy thickens like mollases laced with flour. Pushing through the cloud, he strikes the creature with a massive thrust, just for it to dissolve like water.

"What the fuck?" he screams. Standing rigid, he is cut short by a mass of dark enery that barrels from the void and slams him to the ground with a glancing blow. "Fuck!" as he rolls to his knees.

"Shit, standard attack are innefective." growls the Ranger "What are we going to do?"

[Dre_o]

May the Fan Works god have pity on such a pathetic bump.

I'll write in the morning.

[Dre_o]

Told ya I'd write didn't I? short but powerful
__________________________________________

Darkness filters through the rocks as the twisted creature continues it's assault of chaos. Yet, in the darkness, a woman is absorbed in her own sorrow.

It's my fault.......
I.....I knew it was going to happen...
Yet, I...I let it happen...
.....What....should I do now....?
....What ....what....is this feeling?

Her mind races around her surroundings, becoming fixated on the two protecting her.

...these boys.....
....they....they didn't hessitate...
they didn't hessitate....to protect me...
How?....Why?....
I hessitated to save all these lives, an yet...yet....
......they didn't hessitate to save mine...

[Dre_o]

A boy's immense pain swelters through his mind as the futility of his attacks infests his thoughts.

I.....I won't.....I won't hessitate.....
Never again....will I think twice.....
...My hessitation....costed.....her life...
Never again.....
...If you hessitate.....
...It spreads.....it spreads....
To others.....like...like a plague....
.....never again....never....

[Dre_o]

Forgive the bump, but I will write tomorrow once I get home from work

[Dre_o]

The eldest dwells within his soul in the darkness of his mind

I must...become stronger...
He....must never....be....stronger...
I must....I must be....stronger....
I must....for their sake.....
so....so one day....one day.....
I....can avenge them....

__________________________
this may be the last post for a bit while I finish off my planning aka: this is as far as I have planned O.o; .

[Dre_o]

Muahahaha

Who....who is that?...

Do you really think you're strong enough to act on your own will?

Whaa.....what?

Muahaha Listen to yourself quiver. What a weakling. You knew I was coming, yet you let it happen.

I.....I....

Exactly, you are too weak to make decisions. Too weak to act. Too weak. You know your weakness will be the death of them. And yet you sit there

But...I can't....

Exactly.

_______________________
Enter the evil