A time for a good laugh

[REJ-]

If anyone has a good joke, or a funny story they'd like to share, post it here. I figured that most of us might need some time to chill and and let the positive energy flow with something funny.

[Shattered_weasel]

Two guys walk into a bar. One says "Ow".

[sprky585]

ok, one time these two country kids that have never been to a mall went to the local mall to get some furniture
when they got there the two brothers, Paul and George, saw an elevator and were astonished, they had never seen one before, then there sister, Anna came over and asked "what are yall two lookin at?"
"we dont know" paul said
then, all of the sudden an elderly woman in a wheelchair got in the elevator and went to the bottom floor
when the elevator opened back up at the floor that paul and george were on, a gorgeous blonde 24 year old walked out of the elevator
Paul and george turned to each other and then looked at anna and said
"Get in"

[Jehosaphaty]

On 2006-05-02 20:03, sprky585 wrote:
then their sister, Anna came over and asked "what are yall two lookin at?"



Are we to assume this takes place in Kentucky?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Jehosaphaty on 2006-05-02 20:08 ]</font>

[CaptainJebus]

On 2006-05-02 20:03, sprky585 wrote:
ok, one time these two country kids that have never been to a mall went to the local mall to get some furniture
when they got there the two brothers, Paul and George, saw an elevator and were astonished, they had never seen one before, then there sister, Anna came over and asked "what are yall two lookin at?"
"we dont know" paul said
then, all of the sudden an elderly woman in a wheelchair got in the elevator and went to the bottom floor
when the elevator opened back up at the floor that paul and george were on, a gorgeous blonde 24 year old walked out of the elevator
Paul and george turned to each other and then looked at anna and said
"Get in"



haha! Good one. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[REJ-]

Nice Nice!!!! That was a good one.

A man got a phone call from his doctor, the doctor said "I have some bad news and some worse news for you"
The man asks "What's the bad news?"
The doctor replied "I have your report, it says you only have 24 hours to live..."
Then the man said "Only 24 hours?!? How could any news be worse than that?"
The doctor answered "Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday"

[cherry]

Nice that was a pretty good one http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Moo2u]

How can you tell if your plane is crashing into water?

...it's plane to sea!

[REJ-]

LOLZ

Ok, this one is a classic, it was used in FKL and it took me a while to fetch. This'll be a long post, but you need all of it for the joke to fit together. This is an extract from FKL so it's very spam-ish. Enjoy!




On 2006-04-22 21:02, PhotonDrop wrote:
How do I escaped burning building? 3:


On 2006-04-22 21:05, Dhylec wrote:
silly pd..
just.. jump~


On 2006-04-22 21:38, Maridia wrote:


On 2006-04-22 21:05, Dhylec wrote:
silly pd..
just.. jump~

Looks like we'll have to JUMP! DX


On 2006-04-22 22:37, REJ- wrote:
*3 people on top of a burning building*
*firemen come holding a fire blanket*
Firemen:"Dhylec, You jump first, we'll catch you"
*Dhylec jumps, the firemen move the blanket away*
*Splatters on ground*
Firemen:"PhotonDrop, you jump next"
PhotonDrop:"Make sure you catch me"
*Photon Drop jumps, the firemen move the blanket away*
*Splatters on ground*
Firemen:"Maridia, you jump next"
Maridia:"I saw what you did to those two!!!!!......"

Maridia:"Put the blanket on the ground and take ten steps back"

PHAIL http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif



On 2006-04-22 23:35, Zelutos wrote:
Yay, i win :3


On 2006-04-22 23:56, REJ- wrote:
No, you Phail too http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

*Zelutos doesn't want the firemen to make him jump where they can move away and let him hit the ground, so he runs to the other side of the rooftop and jumps*

PHAIL http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif



That forum has some of the best stuff, it's just that it's hard to find http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif
If you can't find anything, just take a look at the foreign import in my sig http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Shadowpawn]

o.O

What's this, praise to FKL?

Bizzaro land yo!

[Daikarin]

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/9167/catchandrelease4hv.jpg

[REJ-]

...I don't get it

If I did, it would be funny.

[Shadowpawn]

The car's jumping off the ramp...into water. :/ </photoshop>

[Blue-Hawk]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two hunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F--k him, He's only an egg."

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Blue-Hawk on 2006-05-03 10:56 ]</font>

[DamonKatu]

WTF? someone been taking their sugar pills?

*DK at the buildingfire! Its a time paridox!!*
DK: Good thing I was on the first floor when the fire started...HM?
*a shadow apears under him and he notices Maridia falling from the sky*
DK: why me??
*Maridia lands on DK, crushing every bone in his body*
Maridia: Thanks for the soft landing.
DK: No problem XP




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DamonKatu on 2006-05-03 12:22 ]</font>

[Hrigg]

lol, there's some pretty good ones in there.

[Charmander02]

Me and Rej- dug a huge hole in a sandbox and then covered it up....then his little brother fell in it.

[Shadowpawn]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/Shadowpawn/Random%20Stuff/cah.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Shadowpawn on 2006-05-03 18:40 ]</font>

[Daikarin]

On 2006-05-03 17:23, Shadowpawn wrote:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/Shadowpawn/Random%20Stuff/cah.gif



Brilliant.

[DizzyDi]

Here goes one of my only few clean ones:
WARNING! Its a long one, but the punchline is worth it, so bear with me.
Once upon a time a man is driving down the the road, going a vacation for a few weeks.
As hes driving his car gets a flat tire, so he pulls over to a nearby house.
He knocks on the door and a priest answers.
So the guy asks the priest if he could fix his car, and it just so happens that the priest has experience with fixing automobiles.
The priest tells the guy that he'd do it over night so the man can spend the night over.
So over the night the guy hears a strange noise coming from the priest's room.
In the morning the guy asks the priest what it was and the priest simply responds,
"I'd tell you, but you're not a priest." and after that the priest says theres more wrong with your car than just a flat tire, so you'll have to spend another night so I can fix it.
So overnight the guy hears the strange noise again! And the next morning he asks the priest what it was and gets the same answer.
So the guy's car is fixed and he drives off, he goes to a one-day priest school to become a priest.
He passes and goes back to the priest and tells him that he passed the test to become a priest.
So the priest takes the guy to a room, with a single door and a box. The priest opens the box and inside is a key.
So the guy takes the key and uses it to open the door.
Behind the door he sees a long dark hallway.
So he walks down it, and at the end is a locked door.
So the guy walks back down the hallway and asks the priest for a key to open the door. The priest gives it to him.
The guy walks back down the hallway and opens that door, behind THAT door is ANOTHER long dark hallway, and down the hallway is a locked door.
So the guy goes back down through both hallways and gets another key.
He walks down the hallways and opens the door, and sees ANOTHER hallway with a locked door at the end.
Walks down the three hallways, gets another key, goes back to the locked door and opens it.
He now sees a long dark stairwell, leading down.
He walks down the stairwell and sees a locked door at the end.
So he goes up the stairwell, back through the hallways and gets another key.
He goes back through the hallways, down the stairwell, opens the door, and sees ANOTHER hallway.
THROUGH THE HALLSWAYS, UP THE STAIRWELL, GETS ANOTHER KEY AND GOES BACK TO OPEN THIS OTHER LOCKED DOOR.
Behind THIS ONE the man sees a beach with a docked boat.
Guess what though? The boat is chained and locked.
So needless to say the guy gets another key to unlock the boat.
He hops on the boat and crosses the small lake and on the other side of the lake he sees a forest.
No, its not locked.
He walks through the forest and after a while he sees a small clearing in the forest.
In the middle of the clearing, he sees a box. Its locked.
SO!
Back on the boat, across the lake, through the hallway, up the stairs and through all the other hallways, gets another key.
Back down the three hallways, down the stairs, through the last hallway, across the beach, across the lake, through the forest, to the box.
So the man bends down, and FINALLY he opens the box.
Guess what was inside?





I'd tell you, but you're not a priest.

AHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
/zinga!

[REJ-]

That one was good, I'm gonna be a priest now http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif



On 2006-05-03 15:30, Charmander02 wrote:
Me and Rej- dug a huge hole in a sandbox and then covered it up....then his little brother fell in it.



When we rebuilt the pit-trap, we made it with sludge at the bottom.

Here's a fun little thing me and a few friends came up with:

The Ultimate April Fools Joke: Prank an entire nation!!!!

Fly a plane towards the White House, and make sure that people from the news are filming, and contact the president on a cellphone, so he watches, then tell him your gonna crash it.
*Everyone starts to panic and freak out*
Before you crash, turn to the side and yell into the phone "PSYCH!!!! LOLZ" And fly a banner from the back of the plane that says "April Fools!"

Then you escape before you are arrested http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif