my mother...

[EphekZ]

is a bitch.


she doesnt clean a damn thing, then yells at me when something is dirty. ill be busy she'll just be sitting on the couch(we have dvr so she can pause) and she'll fucking scream all day and yell at me becuase the trash is somewhat overflowing. Now people are probably thinking we'll it's your chores you should do it. I have no problem doing it it's just that usually im out for a couple days at a time and she'll just pile dirty dishes, leave cereal on the table, doesnt even rinse shit, leaves the pans on the stove filled with food.

for example, I was on a trip this weekend I come back I see the trashcan overflowing the sink full with disgusting dishes everything is rock solid cemented since it has been sitting for 3 days and my sisters milk bottles left with milk in there so its rotted and smells up the whole house. I ask her very nicely if she can rinse stuff or atleast when Im not there, dare I say it? rinse the dishes and run the damn dishwasher!.


another thing, anything I say she has a smart ass comment to it, and really I feel like slapping her she does it on purpose she doesnt even give a shit about me never lets me speak. she could be dead wrong about something and just keep on yelling at me about something that she messed up on so I get punished. Really I despise her I dont know why but everytime we talk she just gets me so damn angry I wish I had a fucking car and somewhere to stay I want nothing to do with her. for the last few months I have been teling myself that she could be cool and she's a great mother but 10 minutes later I go talk to her and she just pisses me off and the hate cycle starts again. I want to have a good relationship with my mother but I can't.

frankly, I would say more stuff to her like if she's wrong but she takes every damn thing the wrong way so really I'm frightened of her. I don't like to speak my mind becuase I'm afraid she'll fucking beat me,as she has done countless times. I don't know I need to work on this and I do hope I can fix this before I get a car(which should be soon) becuase I'm pretty sure I'll be out of this damn house and crashing at a friends house. I really like my house, when Im alone here and sometimes we get along and thats when im happy and I really want it to be that way. I'm sure im repeating myself now becuase im typing as I think right now so it probably doesnt make sense.

Sorry for the language and Im happy I was able to vent.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

You're in the same position as other folks around PSOW who have ranted about an abusive parent. So you're not alone in that aspect.

I don't wanna intrude on your family and their ways, but I know what physical abuse is and isn't so I sympathize with that.

If you're not of age to move out but know that you're unjustly being hit by someone who is supposed to be a caretaker until you are ready to move out, its unwarranted. If you want to be brave and speak up to the police or a counselor, be wary of the consequences however bad it gets, but know it is beneficial to live somewhere and not be constantly on edge for beatings and yelling.

For now like you said crashing at a friends place, planning to get a job or apartment and get the hell out of there is a good start. Its up to you to bring this up to the authorities or hold it in and not let the shit get you down.

Don't let an abusive parent scare you away from social contact and try to get you stuck in their web. Stay strong, keep your head up, and know better. Don't pass down the cycle of abuse to your kids when and or if you have them.

[DroolinBuddie]

OMFG LOL UR TOPIC MADE ME LAUGH......CONGRATS XD
phew hahahaha "My mom...." OMG I THOUGHT sumthing bad happened like u kno......passed away or sumthing, but when i clicked it......"is a bitch." LMFAO OMFG HAHAHAHA

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

On 2006-06-26 18:00, DroolinBuddie wrote:
OMFG LOL UR TOPIC MADE ME LAUGH......CONGRATS XD
phew hahahaha "My mom...." OMG I THOUGHT sumthing bad happened like u kno......passed away or sumthing, but when i clicked it......"is a bitch." LMFAO OMFG HAHAHAHA


Great, that didn't help anyone.

You could be at least a little more respectful when someone opens up about something they in all honesty can keep private to avoid ridiculous comments like that.

[merrycherry9]

On 2006-06-19 17:00, darkgunner wrote:
is a bitch.


she doesnt clean a damn thing, then yells at me when something is dirty. ill be busy she'll just be sitting on the couch(we have dvr so she can pause) and she'll fucking scream all day and yell at me becuase the trash is somewhat overflowing. Now people are probably thinking we'll it's your chores you should do it. I have no problem doing it it's just that usually im out for a couple days at a time and she'll just pile dirty dishes, leave cereal on the table, doesnt even rinse shit, leaves the pans on the stove filled with food.

for example, I was on a trip this weekend I come back I see the trashcan overflowing the sink full with disgusting dishes everything is rock solid cemented since it has been sitting for 3 days and my sisters milk bottles left with milk in there so its rotted and smells up the whole house. I ask her very nicely if she can rinse stuff or atleast when Im not there, dare I say it? rinse the dishes and run the damn dishwasher!.


another thing, anything I say she has a smart ass comment to it, and really I feel like slapping her she does it on purpose she doesnt even give a shit about me never lets me speak. she could be dead wrong about something and just keep on yelling at me about something that she messed up on so I get punished. Really I despise her I dont know why but everytime we talk she just gets me so damn angry I wish I had a fucking car and somewhere to stay I want nothing to do with her. for the last few months I have been teling myself that she could be cool and she's a great mother but 10 minutes later I go talk to her and she just pisses me off and the hate cycle starts again. I want to have a good relationship with my mother but I can't.

frankly, I would say more stuff to her like if she's wrong but she takes every damn thing the wrong way so really I'm frightened of her. I don't like to speak my mind becuase I'm afraid she'll fucking beat me,as she has done countless times. I don't know I need to work on this and I do hope I can fix this before I get a car(which should be soon) becuase I'm pretty sure I'll be out of this damn house and crashing at a friends house. I really like my house, when Im alone here and sometimes we get along and thats when im happy and I really want it to be that way. I'm sure im repeating myself now becuase im typing as I think right now so it probably doesnt make sense.

Sorry for the language and Im happy I was able to vent.



Im sorry you're going through this crap. But like haya said i would try to get out of that house as soon as possible. Also, i know it might be hard but you should tell someone like the police because if you have siblings you dont want them to have to go through what you did. For me its easiest to tell someone that im comfortable with like another family member such as my dad but if you dont have a dad then you could talk to your friends parents and explain the situation to them. I bet they'd be more than happy to let you stay with them. The only other option other than leaving that i see is to stay and try to talk to your mom but that might be equally scary because if you bring up the issue that you dont feel comfortable around her then she might start hitting you again. Im sorry im just restating everything that everyone else said but i really want to help. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2006-06-26 18:00, DroolinBuddie wrote:
OMFG LOL UR TOPIC MADE ME LAUGH......CONGRATS XD
phew hahahaha "My mom...." OMG I THOUGHT sumthing bad happened like u kno......passed away or sumthing, but when i clicked it......"is a bitch." LMFAO OMFG HAHAHAHA OMFG IM AN IDIOT THT CNT SP3LL W0RTH CR4apvduhvnsgg.....duuuuhhhhhh


http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif Dude if you gotta speak up about it, then you should dude. Take everyone's advice and get ready, because it might go down hard. I'm sure many of the people here will support you!:)

[DroolinBuddie]

SHEESH it was jus a comment -_-;; didnt hav to edit my freakin post , besides i aint a english teacher i dont want to spell everything right, AND HERE is a advice with ur mom or w.e, Just b nice to her maybe she will b nice back -_-;; (@#$!@#$@)

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Rants about personal problems aren't made for you to laugh at.

Nobody said anything about your spelling.

You don't realize your comment was wrong?

Its ok to be wrong so you learn what not to do next time.

[darthsaber9x9]

On 2006-06-27 11:25, DroolinBuddie wrote:
SHEESH it was jus a comment -_-;; didnt hav to edit my freakin post , besides i aint a english teacher i dont want to spell everything right, AND HERE is a advice with ur mom or w.e, Just b nice to her maybe she will b nice back -_-;; (@#$!@#$@)



Shut the fuck up n00b. Keep you're dumb-arse comments to yourself and try and exercise a bit of tact ok?

[Link00seven]

Okay guys, lets get back on topic...

[EphekZ]

My son......deserves an oscar. There are two sides to every coin, two sides to every story. I will address his story point by point:

1. He has 3 chores to do. 3. Not 300. 3. take out the trash, load the dishwasher(which includes wiping down the counters), and picking up the yard. He has to be told to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME. He hasn't touched the yard for two months. The only time he does it on his own initiative is if he needs a ride to his friends house or he wants to get something else from me. Yes I yell. Do I yell all day? Nope. Only when I am talking through the brick wall he throws up. He's fifteen and he acts like I asked him to clean a 600 stall stable every time I say load the dishwasher...which I remind you--I shouldn't have to say.

2. If the pans are left on the stove with food, it is because as I noted above, he doesn't do the dishes in a timely fashion. After we eat would be good, but like most teenagers, 'eventually' is his favorite word. When he finally gets around to it, he complains because now there is more work. Tough shit.

3. The trip? Oh, yes, the weekend he stayed on despite me holding a report card with two lousy grades on it. And trip is an overstatement. It was gaming at his friend's house, which is what got the lousy grades in the first place. Yes but I'm soooo harsh, so abusive, that I didn't make him come right home and get grounded after he fucked off school AGAIN to play video games and got crap grades because of it. And no, I will not be running the dishwasher any time soon. I have put my time in, he has a great life, he does whatever the hell he wants to most of the time and I hardly think asking him to pull his weight is too much to ask.

4. Everything 'I' say has a smartass comment?????? Backatcha my friend. Just once I would like to ask for something without being told straight out that I don't know what I am talking about or that my request is not important or that I am imposing. Teenagers tend to be real smartass know it alls, ask ANY of your parents. It's not any easier on this side than it is being a teenager.

5. I do not beat my son. Have I pushed him when he answers back for the eighteenth time when I am DEMANDING that he cease and desist and just have some respect? Do I yell? Yep. I'm not sorry about it. It works my last nerve that he simply won't shut up until he has the last, disrespectful word. I am 38 years old. I don't let anyone except him talk to me that way. It hurts me when he does it and I feel that it is not right. That said, I was beaten as a child, I know lots of people that were. Darkgunner is FAR from an abused child. He is a resentful young man that is pushing his boundaries with me as he would with his father if he were living with us. I find it interesting that he doesn't mention that I broke up with someone that I was practically married to and had a child with, and one of the main reasons was that I didn't appreciate the roughhousing that he felt was ok to do with Darkgunner. So I am protective, but only so I can beat him myself. Yeah, right. Sure.

6. He is not getting a car soon. His thoughts would be far better spent considering that he plays online games no less than five hours a day, has only 3 chores, has a family that loves him greatly, and STILL finds time to look only at how we are not accommodating him enough.

7. I can be a royal pain in the ass. I can also be the coolest mom breathing. He knows exactly how to get either version of me. All he has to do is talk to me with respect, do his schoolwork like it means a shit, and not act like the world is ending when I ask him to take out the trash.

If all of you on this board think that is unreasonable, then I hope and pray that you have teenagers soon. I think you will be much more generous in your opinions then.

One more thing, on a socially responsible note: If someone says they are having problems, don't just bandwagon and tell them to get out. It is always better to deal with things than to run, and do any of you know where he would go or what he might fall victim to? I love my son, and I don't appreciate faceless voices telling him that he is right to feel that the glass is half empty. Teenagers do extreme things sometimes. The voice of reason is what they need to hear, not cheerleading at a pity party. You have an opportunity to help each other face up to life's responsibilities together. You should use it.

I know that posting here is a total violation of all the rules for parents. I thought it was important. I still do, otherwise I would hit delete.

[EphekZ]

Oh and one more thing....

It is my JOB as a parent not to let him whine his way out of all the hard stuff. He is three years away from being what most people consider grown. Personal experience tells me that men aren't really grown till they turn about 30, but that's a whole other topic. Anyway, if he gets off light every time he ducks his responsibilities in my house, how is he supposed to succeed when he is out paying his own bills and getting hired and fired based on that oh so sunny attitude the average young male has these days?

Knock it all you want. I love him too much to let him flounder in his own laziness.

[-memoru-]

Amen sister. XD I'm 21 and i've practically raised my 3 siblings, so i'm quite mature(altho i don't act like it. >_>) But i know how most teenagers get when they hit high school. Altho i don't agree with anyone telling a person to leave home, it's nice to hear people to support you(without bashing the parent or whatever) and make you feel better. ;D

[TheyCallMeJoe]

Heh, looks like Darkgunner left himself signed onto PSOW by . But it's good to hear both sides of the story. I for one can say that having responsibility when you're younger will save your ass later on. Sure, the kiddies will whine and complain...but in the long run it pays off. You end up being prepared for the real world, giving you an edge in the business world...thus setting up the foundation for the rest of your life. It's absolutely essential. I feel so terrible for the kids these days who are completely spoiled by their parents and dont' know how to do a damn thing for themselves. Then while they are trying to catch onto the "responsibility factor", everybody else is passing them up because they actually know what they're doing.

But...if you're kid's living scared of you, something is out of place. There's no excuse for that.

[EphekZ]

Mom again.

Excellent point Joe. I completely acknowledge that the terrific relationship that I have with my son has gone quite south. I also feel that a great deal of that is my fault. I raised him to have an opinion, and sometime along the way I managed not to also enforce the fact that just because he has an opinion doesn't always mean he gets to exercise choices based on that opinion. Sometimes, it just doesn't go your way. Maybe if I was less liberal, treated him more like a kid and less like a small person that had ideas that I valued greatly, he would be more automatically obedient. But, the thing is, I have seen other things that he has written. On poliitical and social issues, he is exactly the person that I was hoping to raise. So, it looks like the price for that is that I get dirt kicked on me for a year or two. I fully expect him to come around eventually. He is not living scared in the sense that I think you meant. If you know exactly what will happen if you choose not to take care of your responsibilities, and you don't take care of them, and then it happens...you get yelled at, you get told off....then how on earth can you claim to be living scared? You went into it with eyes wide open. Choices lead to consequences. He plays TWELVE OR MORE SOLID HOURS of blueburst on a weekend. He plays five hours on a weekday, at the expense of his homework. He is impossible to tolerate when he can't get his fix of BB. The only reason I am here to post is because he ignored my ban of computer because of his grades and used my personal laptop because his own computer has a password on it now until he is off grounding. Obviously, he's not that scared. He knows damn well I am at least as techie as him. He didn't even cover his tracks. I must be sooooooo scary when I catch him, huh? No. I am disappointed and disgusted. He can't stand that. He lives scared of my disapproval, not a beating. He manufactures his own failures and then asks me to ignore them and let them slide and throws guilt trips at me if I don't.
Like I said, I can be a royal pain in the ass, but I am not a bad parent and I don't need excuses. I yell way too much about this stuff. It doesn't seem to make a blind bit of difference. But I choose not to send him to boot camp, and we'll just have to see if he wakes up and accepts his responsibilities soon.

[TheyCallMeJoe]

Well mom, you're quite the writer yourself. Seeing this from your perspective has given a bit of insight into the depths of the parental psyche.

Excellent point Joe. I completely acknowledge that the terrific relationship that I have with my son has gone quite south. I also feel that a great deal of that is my fault.
No, not really. Growing older requires an adolescent to make their own choices...but since they usually don't make the best choices it's the parent's job to step in and make those decisions for them. Unfortunately, this is at the cost of his/her sense of independence, because someone else is making the decision for them. They may understand that you are only doing what's best for them, but the choice is still not their own, and they come to resent that. It's only natural for a child to distance themselve from their parents. I have. I notice things now that I never saw before...and now that I'm older I have an opportunity to express my "disagreement."

Kids just want to have fun....and I speak from experience. I personally couldn't care less about school, or a job, or my future in general. While that may sound like a great deal of apathy, it's really because all of that is really quite daunting. It's scary growing up, I won't deny it. How am I supposed to know what the hell is going to happen in my life? So naturally we (I speak for the general teenage population) avoid it. This comes out looking like irresponsibility, and in a way it is...but there are few people at my age (16) who know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. And whenever I attempt to search for the answer myself, I always come up empty handed and even more discouraged than before.

So what I'm trying to say is that a frayed relationship with your son isn't entirely your fault. This is a phase where conflicts of interest are common...but I admire your attitude. "Getting the dirt kicked on you" sounds rough, but I guess it's what parents have to endure. Makes me appreciate my parents more -_-. It's sad how it would take a simple forum conversation to make reveal such an evident aspect of my life....maybe I should follow my own advice more often http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_redface.gif. Heh, well my mother is calling...and I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Ciao all, hope things get better on both ends.

[darthsaber9x9]

Oh ho, what a twist! Interesting to hear the other side of the story, I guess he was being an over dramatic teenager eh?

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

I took it at face value and offered up my advice for I was in a similar situation at that age.

There's no proof one can offer over the net of what's really going on and its better off to keep domestic/family stuff out of public eye also.

Sorry if my advice offended, I was just sympathetic to the situation based on my experiences. Even if its not true, its still what I consider advice if someone is in that situation.

Hope you get counseling or another medium to learn to communicate better to resolve issues, and keep your son more calm over small(er) problems such as household responsibilities and internet usage limits.