The "Nice Guy vs. Jerk" Phenomenon (NOT A RANT!!!!)

[REJ-]

I was told about this once, and after observing for a bit, I've noticed that it's true, mostly. What's true? The "Nice Guy vs. Jerk" Phenomenon. I'll explain...

*BTW, I'm not in either of these two categrories, so don't ask about my place in the situation.
*Also, this tends to happen mainly in High School/Collage situations.
*One more thing: when I mention girls, it refers only to hot ones.

Basically, observe the "Nice Guy", he's chill, easy to get along with, and is nice to everyone. Now let's observe the "Jerk", he's a pain in the ass, has a bad temper, and other guys don't like him much. Logically, you'd think that the Nice Guy has a more attractive personality, and that he'd be the one that all the girls like, don't you think?

Well, let's look at where they're at during their lunch break, and what they're doing. The Nice Guy is sitting at a table with his friends, who are also Nice Guys like him. Look, it's the girl he's been staring at all day, and he's finally decided to leave the table to go talk to her. Surely she'll be attracted to him, he's so friendly, so nice to everyone, he's definat... huh, whaat? SHOT DOWN! Dang, it happened again. The Nice Guy hasn't been having much luck lately, that's the fourth time. Poor Nice Guy...

Now, let's see how the Jerk is doing. He's at a table with a bunch of chicks, hot ones at that. Perhaps he's gonna get up and approach a girl like the Nice Guy di...pfft, he's already surrounded by girls that are just as hot as the one that the Nice Guy talked to. Wait a sec, she's there, at that table, the same girl that Nice Guy likes. But why? Who knows...


So, who else has noticed this happening? The guy that's easy to get along with, who listens to what you say and never forces his opinion on anyone else, gets shot down endlessly, no matter how nice he is, even if he's a good-looking guy, the hot girl he's after just shuts him down on the spot. At the same time, the guy that makes fun of you, bumps into you in the hall and blames you for it, is surrounded by enough girls to make most guys jealous. Sound like a familiar occurance? It probably is.

Your thoughts? Comments? Opinions?

EDIT: Changed title because people actually thought this was a rant http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: REJ- on 2006-10-11 13:45 ]</font>

[EJ]

Nobody said high school makes sense, now you said that happens in college I say that is untrue because I never experience that.

Also maybe the jerk express himself and shows his true self while the nice guy is not and only showing a mask in public? Who knows how girls think. Each girl is different and it depends on the girl.

I can be a nice guy and a jerk but that doesn't mean I'm one or the other or am afraid to tell you the truth. I'm overall a nice guy but I also what is really on my mind without being afraid of what other thinks.

I found many girls like a guy who have confident in themselve rather than the nice guy/jerk situation you put.

[CherryLunar]

On 2006-10-09 19:32, EJ wrote:

I found many girls like a guy who have confident in themselve rather than the nice guy/jerk situation you put.



QFT

[navci]

Highschool never make sense.
Jerks are "cool" to teenage people, apparently.

[Danger_Girl]

I blame Darwin.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

On 2006-10-09 19:51, navci wrote:
Highschool never make sense.
Jerks are "cool" to teenage people, apparently.



Teens are responsible for the inexplicable success of movies like, "Jackass". I don't think they quite understand what this word is meant to mean.

Consider that the wild asshole is very confident and assertive, while your stereotypical, domesticated "nice guy" is quiet, reserved, and generally not so outgoing.

It's not so much that the girls are attracted to the asshats, as much as it's that the asshats put themselves out there to be attracted to.

[Dre_o]

A sad, sad, sad quagmire of a shit hole the teenage life is.

But I believe Miera's words:



It's not so much that the girls are attracted to the asshats, as much as it's that the asshats put themselves out there to be attracted to.

Sums it up pretty well.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Dre_o on 2006-10-09 21:10 ]</font>

[Sayara]

1 word.

Charisma

[ABDUR101]

There ya go guys, be assholes and you get tang!

I agree to a degree, people like extroverted personalities, but, there are limits, ya know? I don't like jerks, I really expect people to have manners and be courteous when they should be. Time and place for everything, and too often I see people just being asswads for no reason other than they feel the need to 'dominate' something.

I'd rather goto sleep alone and with a clear conscience anyway. Besides, those girls might be 'hot' now, but when you get one of them knocked up or married, they turn into frigid stuck up bitches and you see past the 'hair-did', 'make-up plastered' exterior of LIES and see the true 'them'.

[KojiroAK]

The jerk is more the type of alphamale.
He seems to be the good defender and upholder of the clan.

Like Danger_girl said, all cause of the evolution.

[MaximusLight]

This is why I am a nerd, we just do our homework and we find a good girl sometime after high school, far easier, and they are normall much better people.

[Firocket1690]

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/

>_>;;

They've got a handful of ... rather strangely accurate articles about modern romance. O_o;

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/realniceguys.shtml

[astuarlen]

I like how you only talk about "hot chicks" and "hot girls".

[Anubis_]

Its been said already in this post. But let me just reiterate on the same point with a little more detail.


You can classify him as a jerk and you as a nice guy. And your clearly are thinking that the nice guy deserves the nice girl and not the jerk. Because you say the girl is nice too.

But what you need to understand is that, it takes time for a girl to know if a guy is nice or a jerk. And If your just talking to her. What does she have to go on? Your appearnce? The way you carry yourself? Your manerism? How you speak?
Any one of those.

Let me do some classifying myslelf..

Nice Guy- Calm, Collected, maybe a little timmid, but for the sake of humoring(sp) him. Lets call it, a careful quality.

Jerk- Loud and or angry.. arogant which in some cases does mean CONFIDENT. Arogance also means he'll cary himself in a bold way and most girls like that.

Talking to girls may be an entirely new relm to you. At least it sounds like it to me. There's an art form to it. And you have to practice it to get it down right.

Get it down good enough and SOME girls won't care if your fat, skinny, handsome, ugly, young, old. Nice guy.. or a jerk.

[CherryLunar]

On 2006-10-10 05:32, astuarlen wrote:
I like how you only talk about "hot chicks" and "hot girls".



I'm sure most guys wouldn't want it any other way. But it definately shows you what side of the line he falls on. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

[Seidon]

My wit, charm and spectacularly good looks help me through life.

My incredible intelligence is also a plus.


I am the alpha.

I am a geek at heart though. And because of that there are one or two people who I cannot relate to and frankly I couldn't care less about them.

A good tip for you is to be confident.

That is rule number one.

If you are on the defensive when you talk to a girl then you need to brush up a bit.

Eye contact is very very important as i'm sure the vast majority of the fairer sex will tell you.

Be clean and presentable....I cannot stress this enough.

I have watched people try and fail with my girlfriends mates on the grounds that they were a "tad" dirty.

Don't expect things to work out like a movie because I hate to break it to you but that is not how life works.

Good things don't come to those to wait.

Good things come to those who strive for them.

[Kizaragu]

"Girls date the bad guy, But Marry the good guy."
I can't remember what film I got this from, but it's a good quote and it seems to fit this topic.

Short and sweet. Shock and awe?

[rena-ko]

if you want someone shallow your best bet is to become shallow too.

[Danger_Girl]

Actually the trick is to take up golfing as soon as you're old enough to crawl.

[REJ-]

On 2006-10-10 08:50, Seidon wrote:
A good tip for you is to be confident.

That is rule number one.

If you are on the defensive when you talk to a girl then you need to brush up a bit.

Eye contact is very very important as i'm sure the vast majority of the fairer sex will tell you.


Quoted for quality and truth.

I don't need any tips though, I'm doing quite fine.

[Danger_Girl]

Anyone know if the caveman method still works? You know, where you club someone over the head and drag them off by the hair. That was all the rage when I was in high school back in the Paleolithic period.

[guysmiily]

thats called the rape method now-a-days

[Leviathan]

I would have went with the nice guy because he seems nice. The jerk I wouldn't even bother talking to or giving him the time of day because he more than likely a "himbo" with all the girls he was all with.

[Danger_Girl]

On 2006-10-10 13:45, guysmiily wrote:
thats called the rape method now-a-days



Captain Caveman needs to be arrested.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e5/TheCapn.jpg

[navci]

On 2006-10-10 05:32, astuarlen wrote:
I like how you only talk about "hot chicks" and "hot girls".



Those are the only one that matters ya know. Ugly chick falls into another category, same category as old people and small dogs, I believe.

[Daikarin]

Good guys better drop the line, or they'll walk over you with the "just friends" shit. Take a stand for yourself and learn to respect and appreciate yourselves, without losing the respect and appreciation for others. Find a balance. Become neither the bad guy or the good guy, in the methaphorical way.

[Xaos127]

On 2006-10-09 19:25, REJ- wrote:

*One more thing: when I mention girls, it refers only to hot ones.



Capital lol at that, i'll be honest the only reason I read the rest of your rant was because of that sentence.

Women..are complex, they're not meant to be understood.
But it's okay like that, you can still look at them.
Usually, from my experience, WHICH IS ALOT, girls prefer a mix of the two. A guy who acts like a jerk around his friends, but is still sweet and kind to her. And according to South Park "chicks dig confidence"

[isahn80]

On 2006-10-10 08:17, CherryLunar wrote:


On 2006-10-10 05:32, astuarlen wrote:
I like how you only talk about "hot chicks" and "hot girls".



I'm sure most guys wouldn't want it any other way.



Not true! The girls I usually date are often considered unattractive by general social standards.

What can I say? I like my women like I like my steaks: real thick 'n juicy.




On 2006-10-10 22:09, Xaos127 wrote:


Usually, from my experience, WHICH IS ALOT, girls prefer a mix of the two. A guy who acts like a jerk around his friends, but is still sweet and kind to her.



Very true. If you can manage to pull off being a jerk or a nice guy as the situation demands, you've got it made.

This also explains why I've been having to beat women off me with a stick...

[Seidon]

On 2006-10-10 12:05, rena-ko wrote:
if you want someone shallow your best bet is to become shallow too.


What are you trying to say?

That people who have good looks are shallow?

I beg to differ.

I'm a good looking guy I hang about with alot of good looking people and none of us are shallow.

Saying that all good looking people are shallow is just a bad attempt to make people who aren't blessed with good looks feel better about themselves.

I apologise in advance if my choice of words offend anyone.

[xxravenxx]

hahaha i find that alot of the time, if you can make a girl laugh at any time, then shell end up likeing you at somepoint in time http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif, but pretty much all of my frineds go through a cycle:

1.they r like...ur weird...
2.theyr like ...ok ur cool...
3. they hate me at somepoint for some reason
4 they forget y they hate me
5 they say they cant belive they ever hated me(after like a year) and thats how i have gotten a bunch of my best friends

i can make people laugh and thats y alot of them like me http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[REJ-]

On 2006-10-10 22:09, Xaos127 wrote:


On 2006-10-09 19:25, REJ- wrote:

*One more thing: when I mention girls, it refers only to hot ones.



Capital lol at that, i'll be honest the only reason I read the rest of your rant was because of that sentence.



It isn't a rant, I was just wondering if anyone else noticed similar things. I've already achieved balance, not perfect but I'm getting there. My examples were also a bit exaggerated to differentiate the 2 categories (which are the two extremes on the scale)

[PJ]

On 2006-10-10 17:02, navci wrote:

Those are the only one that matters ya know. Ugly chick falls into another category, same category as old people and small dogs, I believe.



I thought we were for the puppies!

:C

[Bleemo]

Yeah, I've seen this numerous times. I think there is a common misconception about what is attractive when it comes to this.

Someone pointed out earlier in the thread that women often like men who are confident in themselves. I believe this is certainly true.

Whether we like it or not, a person's looks will factor into what is attractive to the opposite sex. Looks mean a lot to women, especially when they first meet a potential partner. Women are generally different about what looks attract them, I.E. men like pretty faces and a slim figure without much complaint on anything else. Most women are different about what they like in men. It's not so much about facial features, but more about the build of the body and what type of clothing they wear; how they present themselves.

A larger, more built man will appear as confident, in control of himself and his health. A thinner, smaller man who wears stylish clothing and takes care of his skin and hair will also appear as confident and in control of his health. The common attribute listed in any of the combinations is: confidence. Presenting yourself confidently isn't limited to your looks, but also your personality. Jerks, especially loud ones, appear highly confident to women thus making them quite attractive. Couple that with some Brad Pitt looks and you have one hell of a lady killer.

Simply because they have a personality we consider "bad" in society, doesn't make them any less attractive to the opposite sex. If anything, it makes them even more attractive.