Bull Shxt: Not Quite a Thread/ More Like a Post.

[Ami]

Honestly I don't think I can ever really get over it. For a long time it was my dad, me and my brother. So to have a trio down to a duo is tough. But I'm doing a lot better with the sheer amount of support everyone from my church from the priest on down, my friends, my dad's friends, and family has shown. And with my sis from Chicago coming down next week and she made a lot of the calls so she's pretty much handling that so I can focus on the situation with my brother and I. It's a great weight lifted off of my shoulders.

I think I cried all I can cry until his funeral, unless I get an unexpected cry.

On the plus, I reconnected with my childhood friend who said that she'll definitely come down and support me. All my friends loved my dad. That's the real good thing, knowing that my dad made such a positive impression on so many people young and old.

[Mike]

I think I cried all I can cry until his funeral, unless I get an unexpected cry.

I would expect the unexpected.

[Polly]

Honestly I don't think I can ever really get over it. For a long time it was my dad, me and my brother. So to have a trio down to a duo is tough.

Honey, it's not something you ever "get over." You just learn to live with it. That comes with time and you have to find your own way, but I'm sure with the outpouring of support you're having that you'll be well on your way. Just don't rush it and don't be afraid to let feelings happen when they wanna happen. It gets "easier" but you'll never stop feeling that void. Like I said, it just becomes something you can learn to live with.

But I'm doing a lot better with the sheer amount of support everyone from my church from the priest on down, my friends, my dad's friends, and family has shown. And with my sis from Chicago coming down next week and she made a lot of the calls so she's pretty much handling that so I can focus on the situation with my brother and I. It's a great weight lifted off of my shoulders.

I think I cried all I can cry until his funeral, unless I get an unexpected cry.

I'm happy to know you have that kind of support system in place. You've got a lot of support to hold you up when you feel like you can't stand on your own anymore. Take comfort in that and let them be there for you even if you wanna shut people out sometimes. You'll get where you need to be, and you have a lot of people carrying the burden with you.

Take the feelings as they come, try not to bottle them. Even if it doesn't even make sense to cry sometimes, just let it happen. The worst you can do is hold things like that in. Feelings have to be felt. It's just part of the grieving process and everyone's different.

I'm sending every positive feeling I can your way, and though we don't know each other, I've been where you are twice now and my door/PM inbox is always open if you ever want to talk.

Just don't forget to take care of yourself.

[Crazyleo]

I know all too well. My mother passed away 5 months ago and that had hit me hard on an emotional level. When my sister notified me that my mother was in a coma after a stroke, I had to grab the first train the next morning. (This after visiting here two weeks prior) I was in bed when my brother-in-law notified me that she passed away that night.

The first month; I was in living in an emotional fog. Today, I'm just starting moving forward again.

I'm praying that God will be with you through this period of your life.

[CelestialBlade]

Honey, it's not something you ever "get over." You just learn to live with it. That comes with time and you have to find your own way, but I'm sure with the outpouring of support you're having that you'll be well on your way. Just don't rush it and don't be afraid to let feelings happen when they wanna happen. It gets "easier" but you'll never stop feeling that void. Like I said, it just becomes something you can learn to live with.

Just wanted to highlight this because it's the absolute truth. I lost my mom almost ten years ago and the holidays can still kinda hurt, but what I've gained is the full acceptance that as long as I have her memories, as long as I can think of her and know exactly what she'd say in a given situation, I know she's always right here with me in her heart. Her dreams and ambitions rest within me now, and I do my best to let her live through me. It'll have been seven years since my dad passed this May, and that won't be any different either.

Don't focus on getting over it, let your grieving process happen as naturally as possible, which will eventually lead you to acceptance. There is absolutely nothing like this kind of pain and it's far too much to just tuck away, so don't try and force it. I know you'll figure it out, and I know you'll find peace one day, but it will always be with you. I can look back on my memories of my parents and smile now, and one day you will too.

[Ami]

Maybe get over is the wrong word. But it's kinda like knowing that things are never the same. Like I can't just call up Dad and see how he's doing. I can't walk out into the living room and just see him there. We can't do our monthly lunch dates or day long trips out of town. I think it's those things I can't get over not doing again.

I think people misunderstand that me not being an outwardly emotional person as bottling it up. A small part of my mind had known that Dad was gonna go for a while now and this situation with his health made that bigger and bigger. After seeing his body at the hospital yesterday and letting out everything is making the acceptance a lot faster.

[Polly]

Maybe get over is the wrong word. But it's kinda like knowing that things are never the same. Like I can't just call up Dad and see how he's doing. I can't walk out into the living room and just see him there. We can't do our monthly lunch dates or day long trips out of town. I think it's those things I can't get over not doing again.

255% normal to feel that way, and yeah, there's a lot of holes like that that are gonna be hard to ever fill or gloss over in some way. You'll feel it when you least expect it, but you'll find your own ways in dealing with it. It never gets "easy," but it does become easier once you've figured out how to work through those feelings.

I think people misunderstand that me not being an outwardly emotional person as bottling it up. A small part of my mind had known that Dad was gonna go for a while now and this situation with his health made that bigger and bigger. After seeing his body at the hospital yesterday and letting out everything is making the acceptance a lot faster.

Don't ever let anyone tell you how to grieve or that you should be outwardly expressing that grief in some certain way. Your situation is a lot like when my dad passed away. Like you, I knew it was coming and I'd mentally prepared myself for the brunt of what that entailed, and was criticized for not being outwardly emotional about it. When it's something you know is coming, there's a certain part of you that's made peace with that and it's the moving past and learning to live with it that comes next.

You really sound like you have the right kind of support and mindset though. You'll make it through. It won't be easy, and a lot of pain is involved, but with everything you've said so far, I think even Chels would agree you're definitely on the right track.

One day at a time.

[BIG OLAF]

Sorry about your dad, Ami. I don't have any experience with losing close family members, but I'm sure the pain is immense, and strange. Like you said, the weirdest part is going to be him just...not being around anymore for the day-to-day things you did together. Someone else I know went through that same oddness when their dad passed, too. I'd imagine the helpful ladies here are right when they say it never really goes away forever, but, in time, you may be able to deal with it better and focus on the positives.

Anyway, friend of mine and her 4-year-old son got into a really bad car crash today. Thankfully they're both alive, just a lot of bruising and soreness. Their car is completely totaled, though...which is really bad for them, since that was their only car, and they're already broke and struggling.

As an added bonus, my heart won't stop dicking around tonight. It's been fine for months and months now, but all of the sudden it's going to start its shit again.

Life really isn't fair.

[Reksanden]

My fingers still smell like Pinesol after I cleaned with it a day ago. Not that it's a bad smell, but it got old quickly.

[Ami]

Thanks guys. I've been making leaps and bounds over Dad's funeral planning. The guy who helped us even got us a few discounts so that we even have money coming back to us. But we still have two other insurance claims to make. But we're going to wait after the funeral for that. They do know of his death though.

Ugh, family family family. I told them I need the information of who's doing what in the funeral by tuesday at noon and I haven't gotten a single thing. I'm most worried about the obituary because for times sake I may have to write it. Sure they are willing to bitch about the repast but when I need info they procrastinate ._____.