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  1. #1

    Default AR PHANTASY: The Story of Cocona Bartel (Side Story III up / 05-21-14)

    ---NAVIGATION--- [Updated 01-25-14]

    ---CHARACTERS--- [Updated 01-26-14]


    ---BONUS FEATURES--- [Updated 05-21-14]
    Last edited by CelestialBlade; May 21, 2014 at 07:58 PM.

  2. #2


    ---CHAPTER I---
    Last edited by CelestialBlade; Jul 19, 2013 at 02:24 PM.

  3. #3
    Hit the beat, you beat! Vintasticvin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Somewhere out there.


    Great story and a unique and freshly untapped theme it has and excellent soundtrack as well. <3

  4. #4


    Cool, a story with a soundtrack and a cool idea, I'm enjoying this . Although now I really wish they implemented an airboard race mode like the race you described.... c'mon sega you know you want too...
    PSO2 Characters

    Kais (Male CAST) Ship 9 Hu62 Fi46 Ra53 Gu65 Fo6 Te1 Br36
    Lilith Reiger (Female Deuman) Ship 9 Hu42 Fi1 Ra1 Gu1 Fo20 Te45 Br56

    Are we alive or just breathing?

  5. #5


    You went SO in depth with this, I loved reading it.

  6. #6


    Great read, I really liked the intro and how you set everything up. I agree with Vintasticvin that airboard racing is an interesting and unique theme to start with. We really don't know that much about the PSO2 world so it's fun to see what kind of sports they might enjoy.

    Also, good choice of music! Although I admit it's a little harder to focus when listening to the track with lyrics, which is why I ultimately decided to only use instrumentals for mine. However, I like the fact that you used an *actual* PSO2 track in yours. To be honest, that thought never even occurred to me. I also think you implemented your songs really well (i.e. you even specified when to stop them!).

    I'll be looking forward to reading part 2!

    P.S. Thanks so much for the shout out! I'll be sure to mention your story in my next post as well. I want people to read this and I wish there were more people willing to spend the time to read fanfiction, even though I know it can be time-consuming (though you kept yours to a good length, I think).

    Sig art by Aussei ^_^

  7. #7


    Thanks for the feedback guys, glad it's enjoyable thus far That sorta thing keeps me going. Again, I'm gonna try to keep posting weekly, though I'll be out of town a few times next month so we'll see.

    Stu> I actually waffled on putting in the lyrical track for a long time, but figured I'd throw it in there and see what people think. I had a couple of others planned for future scenes but I may consider replacing them if focus is a problem, which I figured it might be. Not a problem, and thanks for the feedback

    Seriously though, airboard racing (think a more fluid version of the one in PSU AotI) would make me come back to the game, hands down.

  8. #8


    That was a lot of fun to read, really good job. I'm glad you finally mustered up the initiative to make your thread and start sharing this with everyone!

    Also, the whole 'soundtrack' idea was something I had actually been thinking about, myself. I probably won't use as many songs as you, but I think it's a very nice touch and definitely steers the audience's emotions in the right direction whilst they read. Seeing you incorporate this idea so well may have just pushed me over the edge of the writer's block I've had for the past so many months.

    Any idea when you'll have the next part ready to go? Not sure if you're 'scheduling' yourself or if it will be a random "I feel like writing the next chapter today" kind-of thing.

    annnnd after re-reading the 'About' section this morning I see you already said. Whoops, was tired.

    EDIT: Also, that's a badass logo. More things need logos.
    Last edited by BIG OLAF; Jul 21, 2013 at 07:45 AM.

  9. #9
    Mechanized Combat Engineer Freshellent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    I haven't read this yet, but I plan to. So I'm saving my spot.

    Right here.


    Last edited by Freshellent; Jul 23, 2013 at 12:06 AM. Reason: Things have been read
    Veteran of the former Universe 11. PSO2 -Ship 02-

  10. #10
    Curiously attractive for a fish man Zorafim's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Under the sea


    Ha, I love hearing you talk about machines. Even the stuff you made up sounds professional to me. Overall an enjoyable read. I didn't think it'd be that fun.

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