Celestial Saga: Yoshiblue

[Zorafim]

Crap. I wrote a bunch of comments on your chapter, then accidentally closed the window while writing another comment. It's all gone now...

Well, let's see if I can recreate them.

Extra on May 4, 2016

Spoiler!

MultiCore is in this chapter, so I think I already read this one. At least, that seems to be the case according to my comment on page 43. Still, I have difficulty remembering where I am in your stories, so re-reading some older chapters won't hurt.

I find myself having an odd relationship with flirty characters. They're generally portrayed as negative, but flirtation can be a good way of lifting someone's spirits. I suppose it depends on how they're written.
I should give a flirtatious character a try some time.

I find myself pronouncing the character's name as "Yoshíblu". Stress on the second syllable.

Hm. These chapters are short, and there aren't many pages of them. I might be too used to stukasa's chapters, so I was expect it to take a long time to get through them all. Maybe that won't be the case.

Next chapter: Extra on May 11, 2016, on page 42

[yoshiblue]

Yeb, After that 8k word ride I did once, It was no longer my goal to write 4k+ word entries anymore. Now I just write what I feel like, but at least need 1000. That and there could be other reasons why it goes so fast for you. Also close enough to how you pronounce the name.

[stukasa]

@Zorafim: Thanks a lot. Now I'm hearing the name as "Yoshíblu" in my head.

[Zorafim]

I usually pronounce it like Blue Yoshi, but backwards. For some reason I was saying it as one word. It kinda rolled off the tongue better.

I think I used to try to go for 1k too. Any less was too short. Any more was too difficult for me.

[stukasa]

I find myself having a hard time writing less than 3K words per chapter. I have so many ideas I'm trying to cram in there, doing it in less than 3K feels like a real accomplishment to me. I suppose I could break each part up into more+shorter segments, but with the way I write my stories, I feel it would lose some of its impact because the readers would have to wait longer for the outcome/payoff.

[yoshiblue]

Could be stranger. In Spanish people would be pronouncing it Joshyblue.

[Zorafim]

I think you got that backwards. They would be spelling it Joshyblue.

...actually... Joshyazul. Three syllables. I kinda like that.

I find myself having a hard time writing less than 3K words per chapter. I have so many ideas I'm trying to cram in there, doing it in less than 3K feels like a real accomplishment to me. I suppose I could break each part up into more+shorter segments, but with the way I write my stories, I feel it would lose some of its impact because the readers would have to wait longer for the outcome/payoff.

Hell, that's great. I just have a difficult time cramming out any words.
I think your chapter length is great, especially for the format that you've settled on. The flow of it works well. If I were a more optimized writer, I would be doing that.

[yoshiblue]

Maybe, but you're not the one who's used Yoshiblue as a nickname for most their life. Nobody has ever called me Yoshiazul, just Yoshiblue or just Yoshi because that's just all around easier to say.

[Zorafim]

Extra on May 11, 2016

Spoiler!

Last edited by yoshiblue; May 11, 2016 at 11:45 PM. Reason: Forgot to proofread
I lol'd

One thing I love about crossovers is watching people be awesome. Punch that robot in the face!

I kind of like having Henry around. Something about him being pervy makes the interactions more interesting.
Somehow the format of these stories made me forget that most of the characters in these games are teenagers. So while Yoshiblue and the crew do seem like children, I forget that it's common to have high ranking positions at that age. Wasn't the head cleric in PSU like 17?

And yes, newmen are supposed to be part animal. The initial lore was part bio-monster, but they're supposed to be a stand-in for a cat creature. They never make it clear in any of the multiplayer games, but I assume the backstory is supposed to be similar.

As for the Transmizer being easy, this is a world where this is possible by mid-level ARKs members: https://youtu.be/jTjPOQWxieE?t=35s. I don't remember too much about MultiCore's power, but I can somehow believe him OHKOing a low level one.

Next chapter: Extra on May 17, 2016, on page 42

[Zorafim]

Extra on May 17, 2016, on page 42

Spoiler!

Ack, got confused which Yoshi I was working with! That first line took me by surprise.

Looks like...this chapter is just establishing the dynamic between Henry and the group? I didn't get too much out of it.
And it's...setting up a dramatic fight between our heroes and...I'm not sure who, actually.
I guess this chapter is just setting up a future one?

Next chapter: Extra on May 24, 2016, on page 42