Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 31

Thread: My story

  1. #11

    Default

    herm...yeah, I edited chapters 2-3 with the new changes, mainly regarding Darvant and his not being a nice guy-ness. But, just so you know, plot wise, Donoph is also meant to ba a bit of a prick. Less so than Darvant, but still.
    Luke

  2. #12
    gothic leprechaun
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    my comp or room
    Posts
    685

    Default

    cool, you can change the first 2 chapters, if you want...i would, but thats me. good fic, if you dont already put a link to it in your sig!

  3. #13

    Default

    Herm...good idea. but one question, seeing as I haven't written Chapter 5 yet, if this topic goes off page one, then I post chapter 5, bumping it, does that count as bumping an old topic?
    Luke

  4. #14

    Default

    Chapter 5 is done if anyone wants to read it...?

  5. #15

    Default

    This is so good i can't wait for the next one. this is alot better than what I could do. Keep up the good work.

  6. #16

    Default

    On 2004-01-18 01:20, L_evans wrote:
    Herm...good idea. but one question, seeing as I haven't written Chapter 5 yet, if this topic goes off page one, then I post chapter 5, bumping it, does that count as bumping an old topic?
    Luke
    Not really. As long as you are still adding content, I'm pretty lenient. Just avoid bumping just for the sake of bumping, (i.e. just posting "Bump!").

  7. #17

    Default

    Weeell, to make it easier on the eyes and so more people read it I'm going to follow advice and go back to change the ?s into ""s. Then, with that done I will post Chapter 5. K?
    Luke

  8. #18

    Default

    Chapters 1-4 are edited, I'm going to post 5, then edit it as well...enjoy, I think it really does make a difference to reading it now...
    Luke

  9. #19

    Default

    Chapter 5:
    "Here sir. We...Bry, we couldnt! Sir I’m so sorry..." stammered Biggs, one of the soldiers with a torn sleeve, matted with blood. His arm hung limp at his side and he clutched his bicep to staunch the bleeding. He stepped back startled when he saw Darvant and I, Darvant still twirling his daggers.

    "Easy Biggs, what happened? Explain slowly. Smith, you ok? Tend to Biggs' wounds if possible." Said the sergeant, placing his hand on Biggs' shoulder to comfort him. Darvant rolled his eyes.

    "Whuh...well sir. We went to the North exit, and it was blocked, and the emergency tunnels nearby were also caved in. When we came out of the tunnels, there were three Hunters waiting for us. One short guy with a big sword, a chick in sunglasses with a rifle and a tall guy in black with a black pole. They...they said we would have to be killed, that we weren't needed anymore...The short guy swung his sword at us, and we managed to get out of the tunnel, thanks to Bry. Bry blocked the swing with his rifle, giving us time to start shooting. The short guy swung his sword up and...but Bry he...stabbed the guy's leg with his hunting knife, then I dunno. The tall guy came up behind us and thwacked us both in the back of the kneecaps with the black pole, and we were on the ground when they ran off. Bry he's...it was HUNTERS! THEM DAMN HUNTERS SIR, IT WAS THEM!" he screamed, pointing a quivering finger at Darvant and I.

    Darvant returned a cheeky wink as the soldier lurched forward, levelling his pistol to fire before Smith restrained him. As they struggled, Kase and the other two soldiers turned up. None of them were injured, but Kase had put away his machine guns as they were damaged and now used photon gauntlets.

    Photon gauntlets were simply several interlaced sheets of tough metal that fit over the fist, and depending on the variant we would have to seen what this one did. I have seen some that had a band of burning photons on the knuckles, to burn whatever the gauntlet came into contact with, and some with sonic blasters. Sonic blasters simply unleash a blast of concentrated sound vibrations upon impact. All nasty weapons, this is why I chose a katana, and to learn the ways of the samurai.

    Biggs stumbled backwards, head swinging erratically to watch both Darvant and I and Kase. He holstered his pistol, but his hand twitched, never straying far from the handle of the pistol.

    "Stow it Biggs. We all lost a friend, but it had nothing to do with these guys. We're moving out, let's go!" yelled the sergeant, waving the soldiers onwards to the rope into the crater. He walked over to them as they stopped at the ridge.


    "And ladies? Do we have an issue with my order?"

    "No sir, just, why are we going down here instead of finding those punk Hunters?"

    "Because I want to see what the hell is down there, and there's some crazy energy readings pulsing from there. So, we investigate."

    The sergeant motioned for the soldiers to move down. Biggs went down first, barely suppressing a snarl at Darvant and I. Smith and Jones followed, then Wedge. The sergeant waited for us to move. I slung my scabbard over my back and started to climb. Darvant slammed his daggers into his belt, and then swaggered over, fingers fiddling at a loss for his daggers, climbing down after Kase. The sergeant went down, scanning the ground we left as he descended.


    heh...I'm gonna work on Chapter 6 now, I hope you enjoy readin the REVISED version of the story, I think it makes more sense now...


  10. #20

    Default

    Biggs and Wedge? Sounds like Final Fantasy 8.

    But this is cool, keep going!

Similar Threads

  1. any kool story outthere?
    By ShenLong21 in forum PSO General
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Feb 26, 2001, 05:46 PM
  2. the story
    By spawn in forum PSO General
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Feb 23, 2001, 05:48 AM
  3. PSO "War Stories"
    By LastUtopia in forum PSO General
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Feb 22, 2001, 12:09 PM
  4. my story of betrayal
    By Teknoman in forum PSO General
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Feb 21, 2001, 12:32 PM
  5. A little story...
    By LastUtopiaDC in forum Cheaters (Closed)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Feb 18, 2001, 03:42 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •