Friggin' Ricer Civic's!!!

[LollipopLolita]

All right, this one finally set me over the edge. On my 7 am commute this morning, I'm sharing the road with a 1999 honda civic. Let me tell you a little about this civic. It was bright orange. It had a big wing on the back, an exhaust pipe wide enough for me to put my arm up it, bass so loud MY windows shook, and it scraped the ground every time it went over a bump.

Here's what I see wrong with this picture:

1). The color - I'm sorry, but if I drove a honda civic, I wouldn't be drawing attention to myself. Not that there's anything wrong with a civic... it's a very economical, fuel effecient car. It's sure better than walking. It's just not a car that I find particularily impressing. If you had a bright orange Maserati, I can understand. But a civic?

And the stickers - I bet you got an extra 10 horsepower just by sticking on that "NOS" sticker. (And btw.. it was painfully obvious you don't have a nitrous system, so stop fooling yourself). Oh, and an irish kid from southie shouldn't have asian characters on his car.

2). The spoiler on the back - That huge spoiler must produce a ton of down-force. That would make for some awesome traction except for the fact that YOUR CAR IS FRONT WHEEL DRIVE. Why are you putting down force YOUR REAR WHEELS if YOUR CAR IS FRONT WHEEL DRIVE?

Has anybody here ever stood on their rear bumper? What's that do? It pushes the back of the car down, and the front of the car UP. So by putting all of that downforce behind your rear axle, you're adding lift to the front, thereby reducing your traction. Moron.

3). The exhaust pipe - It's great that you have a high-flow exhaust and all, but let's remind ourselves what you're driving: A 1999 honda civic. Cute little 4-banger. Everyone screams about power-to-weight ratio! Power-to-weight ratio! Well, when your engine is so small it weighs almost nothing, you get almost no power. Your 1.6L engine is rated at 127 horse-power and just over 100 lb-ft of torque at redline. For those of you who don't know cars, those aren't very impressive numbers. My 99 cent bottle of Coke has better displacement than your engine.

Anyway, back to the exhaust. It's great that you can get an extra 10 horsepower by bolting on a sewer pipe in leiu of a muffler. But guess what? 127 horsepower + 10 horsepower = still a shitty engine. And now your car sounds like a chainsaw on acid.

4). The bass - I refuse to say "your music was so loud..." because what you were listening to was not music. What you were listening to was percussion accompanying a man shouting obscenities in ebonics into a microphone. And why do you need to play it so loud that early in the morning? There's children trying to sleep. Maybe you were trying to drown out that annoying lawnmower note coming from your exhaust?

5). How low can you go - And don't even get me started on your body kit and your suspension drop. Although, it did make me smile when I saw that the front of your "bumper" was all cracked and scraped from every time you have to cross the T tracks on Comm. Ave.

In conclusion - It doesn't matter what color paint, how big your exhaust pipe is, or how much plastic you bolt/glue or duct tape to the sides of your car, you're still driving a honda civic. You can't hide from this fact. So peel the little plastic things off of your windshield wipers, and just drive your car for what it is...


PLEASE NOTE: This post is not a rant against drivers of honda civics. As I said in item 1, civics are very nice cars. They are dependable, fuel-efficient, and easy to park. My brother had a civic when he was in high school. It was a very nice car. This is a rant against people who think they can make a honda civic more than a honda civic. That is all. Thank you, and good night!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LollipopLolita on 2004-07-27 01:41 ]</font>

[Zzzzzz]

Yeha, I've seen those type of cars before.
The type that tries to make the driver seem more "cooler" so s/he can pick up 18-year-old hitchhickers just by adding stuff that draws attention. Seriously, it seems like it would make people want to avoid you in the end.


Ugh, I makes no sence. Tired...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Zzzzzz on 2004-07-27 01:50 ]</font>

[digigram]

pure genius lolli.. You know, I deal with this crap every single day.

I have lived in 2 places where they are EVERYWHERE.

Seattle and San Diego.

Both of which, I might add, have an asian community of civic drivers that ACTUALLY think they are fast cars. Sure, there are some things one can do to a civic to make it faster, like, tear out the engine. Give me a break. Spend that kind of money on a fast car, not an economy car that would end up having its parts replaced with things that cost more than the cars total to begin with.


I gotta tell you about something I saw once on a civic.
Not the hatchback, but the civic sedan..

Someone put the spoiler on backwards.. the only way they'd get any traction off that is if they were going in reverse at 90 MPH.


ha.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: digigram on 2004-07-27 02:38 ]</font>

[KaFKa]

On 2004-07-27 02:37, digigram wrote:
Someone put the spoiler on backwards.

i had to figure that one out in my head, how the fuck someone could do that is beyond me...

and seriously, if you want something that'll do the same thing fot about the same price, get a lancer, or a celica, or SOMETHING with actual power to it...

[Ness]

I once was this old car with a wooden spoiler on it. The colors of the spoiler were ugly andd matched the car in no way. It was both sad and funny. How they got it to stay on was a msytery tome.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ness on 2004-07-27 05:30 ]</font>

[Hrith]

Actually, I can hardly imagine a worse place for those morons than south of France (between Marseilles and Nice) and North of Italy (around Milan), really, you gotta see it, people do tuning on Renault Express -_-, since I assume most of you aren't familiar with French cars, here is the pic:



Granted they're rare, but still...

[space_butler]

in worthing we dont have honda civics like that, its worse! vauxhall novas or peruogt 205's are about it for the 'rude boy cars'. all they have as mods are 4 inch tailpipes (that detune the engine) usually alloy wheels and sometimes they even get neon lights under the car. and who needs lower suspension when you can put a bag of cement in the boot?

[Solstis]

My civic has a spoiler on it... I don't even know why. It wasn't my idea... but nooo.

Anyway, I refuse to do ANYTHING to my car. Heck, I rarely clean much, so you won't be seeing a massive exhaust on that sucker.

And yes, I love being able to park in almost any parking space, often without even really judging the distance. And gas? What's gas? Oh yeah, I put some in about a week and a half ago.

(whew, page not found error)

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-07-27 01:40, LollipopLolita wrote:
All right, this one finally set me over the edge. On my 7 am commute this morning, I'm sharing the road with a 1999 honda civic. Let me tell you a little about this civic. It was bright orange. It had a big wing on the back, an exhaust pipe wide enough for me to put my arm up it, bass so loud MY windows shook, and it scraped the ground every time it went over a bump.

Oh, and an irish kid from southie shouldn't have asian characters on his car.

Awesome points Lolli, but this one kind of, uhm, surprised me. Not because it doesnt make sense or anything. But because I was planning of doing something like that to my Nissan SER 2002. But now I dont know, you brought up something I havent thought about.

I have avoided "fixing" my car to be considered in any way to be meant for street racing. I live in San Diego, and as it is, I get "raced" by said Civic and such. They pull up next to me, rev up, give me a dirty look. Green Light, and off they go... while I stay behind just looking at them go.

But I am very fond of the Japanese language for various reasons, hence my desire to add some kind of Kanji to my car, but now Im doubting doing it after your observation. As I am not from oriental nor asiatic lineage, I dont want to look the fool like you mentioned.



By the way, the reason I picked this car is because Ive always had Nissan's, and always red for some reason. I picked four door, so insurance cost will be lowered... its considered a family car if its four doors =/. Albeit, my engine is a little stronger than the Civic you mentioned Lolli, exactly how much I am not sure, all I know that its 2.5L. As stated before, its all stock parts, don't want to be considered a racer of any kind.

[KodiaX987]

I installed a spoiler on my Jeep yesterday. It kicks ass.