5)Okay. WHERE. in hell are all these bugs coming from?!!!!
Jesus Christ! It's like it got warm out and every bug in California has taken refuge from the heat in my house and backyard!
The friggin flies in my outdoor shower: I demand an explanation. I friggin kill all four of you every morning, only to wake up and find that you have reanimated yourselves. What kind of messed up voodoo shit are you four up to in there while I'm asleep?
And the gnats that keep landing on my bananas? Who ARE you?!! Eff OFF!!
To the spiders: spiders as big as you can only have one function, and it has to be something utterly terrible like eating children or paralyzing dogs or something. So what the hell are you doing in my house all the time? And for the love of all that is good and holy, when I come at you with a wad of toilet paper, PLEASE stop that friggin JUMPING bullshit!!! My God! Do you not HEAR my roomie shriek like a little girl every time? Are you TRYING to humiliate her? Do you get a KICK out of making a grown woman screech like a schoolgirl?! Just bloody let me grab you in the toilet paper wad and bloody take it like a man... spider!
And the silverfish? I'm sorry. You are by far the most disgusting creatures on earth and you are the most cogent evidence of the existence of Satan that I can think of. What in the hell do you need all those bloody legs for? You are utterly gross.
And finally, to the junebugs: HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL ARE YOU GETTING IN HERE??!!! You're all ENORMOUS!!!! Where the hell are you COMING from? You're bloody disgusting!!! STAY THE HELL OUTSIDE!!!!
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