My Ghetto Apartment

[Kayumi]

What really bugs me is that with four evictions (I count Tom _______ as an eviction, since he would have been if he hadn't moved out before he could be slapped with one) there wasn't ONE who didn't cause trouble to me specifically on more than one occasion. I mean...I'm just a quiet guy, who doesn't drink and wants to be able to sleep after 2 AM without interruptions. It's not even like I'm a total shut-in, either. Most of the time my door is wide open, and there's usually someone stopping by. I just don't wanna be involved in trashing the place or loud drunken parties--even if I saw the attraction in getting completely drunk outta my mind, I couldn't do it because of the antidepressants I'm on, among other things--and so I became a target for all the assholes.

It bugs me that I was involved in some way in all those evictions. It really does.

[LostHero]

work a few jobs and save money your lazy bixsh,
then you can buy that uber l33t home...
you know the one with the white picket fence... nvr mind @_<

[Kayumi]

I'm a UNIVERSITY STUDENT. Any funds procured by jobs I hold (which will never be concurrent with the school year because I have a hard enough time getting things done without the extra stress) will be used to pay tuition. Not buy a house.

Next year, the plan is for four or five of us to go in together and either lease a house or an apartment, and it will be good. For the rest of this year, I've got to put up with this lease.

[LostHero]

your a quitter

[Kayumi]

A quitter.

...

...Let me tell you a story.

In October this year, I damn near committed suicide.

I came very close to taking a knife to my wrists and bleeding to death in the bathtub.

I'm clinically depressed, and the antidepressants I was on at the time were doing nothing. Over a three day period I got exactly four hours of sleep due to the partying, the two occasions of door egging, financial crisis, my dad losing a job, nearly failing a midterm, and several other contributing factors.

If I had killed myself, at that point, then I would be a quitter.

I damn near dropped out of school and moved back home to get a meaningless mundane minimum wage job, thinking I would never amount to anything, and that this whole university thing was not worth it. Note that I'm in my third year here, so I'm currently more than halfway done.

Had I given in to that instinct, then I would have been a quitter.

My parents have offered me the option of moving home and using the car to drive the forty-five minutes it would take to get to school every day. In spite of the fact that this would cause countless difficulties, both because I would have forfeited the rest of the money on the lease and because I'd then also be causing them to have to pay for gas AND depriving them of one of the two cars the family has, just because I couldn't take it. Not to mention that there's currently a battle between my mother and the insurance company because she's disabled and can't work, and they don't want to give her the money they owe. So I'd be hurting an already bad situation if I did that, but they wouldn't be upset.

If I took that offer, if I took the way out that's easy for me but hurts others...then I'd be a quitter.

I have not done these things. I am still alive, and on more functional antidepressants. I am still in school, and my marks are climbing (though slowly). I am still living in this ghetto apartment, which may become less ghetto now that the evictions have taken place.

I am not a quitter.

[LostHero]

nice story... but if you can't see that empty lines like 'you're a quitter' and 'white picket fences' with odd smiles at the end aren't jokes or at the very least non-serious comments then I duon't know what to say...

[Kayumi]

Just hit a little close to home. You know how that is.

'sides, I'm still in the middle of exams. My brain doesn't work right at the moment. ^_~