I can't believe some people

[Shiro_Ryuu]

So, I go to my mom's friend's house for a party along with my dad. Now, I'll tell you that everyone except for 1 black dude and 1 Asian dude are Latino/Hispanic. There, I'm chatting with this friend of mine who's pretty cool, and he has this girlfriend who's like 22. Another friend comes, and I see this dude has a girlfriend who looks no older than me, and she's pregnant. Then the guy goes on to tell us that this pregnant girl had a child when she was 17, 5 years ago. This means that she's the same age as the other girl who doesn't have any children and isn't pregnant. Now, these middle-aged women tell the non-pregnant girl something in the lines of "You're already 22? What the hell are you doing? Hurry up and get a baby!"

Then they turn to me, a guy who's going to college, speaks horrible Spanish, speaks pretty good Japanese, 21 years old, single, virgin. They tell me "What the hell are you doing in school? You should drop out, get a job, and get married. 21 is way too old to be single and not have kids." Then they criticize my knowledge of the Japanese language. They start saying "When the hell are you going to use that Japanese? You think you're going to Japan?" They then start saying like Latinos are the only people I ever talk to, which they are not, and even if they are, I talk to them in English just as I do with my Black, White, and Asian friends.

I mean, they're telling us to get married and have babies early. Not only do they have no right to tell us how to run our lives, but it's really self-destructive to get married / pop babies at an early age, your life is ruined if you do that kind of shit. I have too much to live for and I'm not going to ruin it by having a family this early.

[Kylie]

They sound like my mom.

"Have you met my single daughter?"

[AlexCraig]

Wow. Simply, wow. I am so glad I don't know anyone like that.

[Rayokarna]

Alex took the words right of my mouth. In London though it tends to be the opposite...

..Saying that alot of the parents down here still believe were in the generation of the war in terms of ethnic mixing...

[stukasa]

Different values, different priorities. To them, starting a family is probably the most important thing you can do. The problem is that they weren't respecting YOUR values, but in these situations all you can really do is shrug it off. Don't let anyone else tell you when you should be starting a family, that's something only you can decide. ...But you know that already.

[Anduril]

I'm Mexican, but I guess that because my mother and father had kids when they were young, and realized how hard it was, they have never pressured me or my sister into going out there and getting married and having kids young. Hell, even my aunt isn't like that despite the fact that my maternal grandparents are very old fashioned Mexicans (though they are frankly miserable when they are around each other. My grandfather has been in Mexico for a year and my grandmother has been here, and she is relaxed because he isn't around); she's almost 40 and hasn't ever had a serious relationship. Anytime we see a young girl pregnant or with kids there is always that conversation of "Don't put yourself in a situation like that; though children are a blessing you shouldn't bring one into the world unless you are truly ready for the responsibility" always follows. I forgot where I was going with this, I guess I just needed to type out about my family in contrast to the situation, since it was related. I guess it all depends on different generations and situations.

[Raine_Loire]

Well now, to be fair, you're 21 not 11. It's not self destructive at YOUR age to be getting married and starting a family. Also, having a family doesn't "ruin your life." By criticizing their lives- especially how you make the pregnant chick sound like such a tramp- you're kind of doing the same thing they are, but in reverse. I'm not saying people who tell you to drop out of school and get married are right, though. When you decide you want to get married is your decision. The languages you choose to learn- also your decision. However, if you choose a life so completely different from the lives of the people you interact with, it might be wise to develop a thicker skin. And learn how to politely smile and and say "I'm happy with the way my life is right now, but thanks for being concerned for me."

On 2008-05-17 18:15, Anduril wrote:
I'm Mexican, but I guess that because my mother and father had kids when they were young, and realized how hard it was, they have never pressured me or my sister into going out there and getting married and having kids young. Hell, even my aunt isn't like that despite the fact that my maternal grandparents are very old fashioned Mexicans (though they are frankly miserable when they are around each other. My grandfather has been in Mexico for a year and my grandmother has been here, and she is relaxed because he isn't around); she's almost 40 and hasn't ever had a serious relationship. Anytime we see a young girl pregnant or with kids there is always that conversation of "Don't put yourself in a situation like that; though children are a blessing you shouldn't bring one into the world unless you are truly ready for the responsibility" always follows. I forgot where I was going with this, I guess I just needed to type out about my family in contrast to the situation, since it was related. I guess it all depends on different generations and situations.

Your aunt is kind of in the complete other direction... to be 40 and never have had a serious relationship... that's not healthy either. And she's pretty much past the age to have kids now, after 35 it's pretty high risk. Although if she decided she could never be responsible for children and just chose not to have them, she should be commended, too many people aren't realistic enough about this.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Raine_Loire on 2008-05-17 18:19 ]</font>

[Sychosis]

When I was 10 years old, my grandmother came by to see the house my parents had just bought. She asked me when I was getting married.

Yeeeeaaaahhhhh.....

[omegapirate2k]

On 2008-05-17 19:10, Sychosis wrote:
When I was 10 years old, my grandmother came by to see the house my parents had just bought. She asked me when I was getting married.

Yeeeeaaaahhhhh.....

Maybe she had Alzheimer's.

[Syl]

I feel you Shiro. They sound like they're very traditional Mexicans. In Mexico, it would be seen as "best for you" to have a family around your age and to have some sort of job.

Mexicans have most of their pride built around family, tradition, and heritage. Because I assume you speak better Japanese than Spanish, to them it's like you're betraying your heritage. Trust me on it, I have a family who is practically the same. My dad acts like he still lives in Mexico whenever he "lectures" me >_>

I used to get scolded for wanting to become a teacher which doesn't make sense to me. I just do what I do to most of their "tradition scolding" and ignore it.

I also got scolded at before for being in an inter-racial relationship :/

They need to get with the times, this isn't Mexico and it never will be lol.