What is your view on love?

[darkante]

Love isn´t something that can be forced or rushed.
Then there is also all those different views as well.

I have these 2 cats that the older one only comes to me for comfort and tends to avoid everyone else.
While my younger doesn´t really care either way as long it gets food.

Love? No idea, love is complex.

[Nilkemios]

Love? Whatever.

[Keilyn]

I've been in love for many years....a very long time.

I would say I've been on all sides of the fence on this one. All I can say after all the objective and subjective reasoning is that love is just love...

its there, and it exists.

Don't fight it, but don't deny or dismiss it.

Its there, yet not there at the same time.

Just be and it shall come when you open yourself to it.

Its that basic of a thing.

[Sayara]

Its a required function for life, that can or cannot be surpressed depending on previous encounters with the function.

[Ark22]

I rather be single, because my gf (Mind you we were only dating for 6 months) ANYWHO, she pops the question...we should get married =D! And after I bought and played the game Catherine, I'm having second thoughts o.o....

[KodiaX987]

Love is like pubbing on online games.

You wade through incredible amounts of shit with the fleeting hope to have just one good encounter so you can delude yourself into thinking it was all worth it.

[CupOfCoffee]

I bought and played the game Catherine, I'm having second thoughts o.o....

Ha! That's awesome, but you probably shouldn't mention that your video games are turning you against her. Especially if your Catherine-influenced cold feet turn out to be prophetic—she might give you the old fork in the eye.

The older I get and the more relationships I have and fail to enjoy, the more I realize that I'm happiest when in unrequited love (or unrequited like, rather). It sounds strange and it's probably laughably unhealthy, but somehow it works. I prefer to admire from afar and avoid getting saddled with all that unpleasant mushy stuff. Romantic compliments make me feel smothered and awkward and deceitful, as if I'm being loved incorrectly. Even with girls I like and whose company I genuinely enjoy, the idea of starting a relationship is just horribly unappealing.

Maybe when I get older and lonely I'll change my mind, but to be honest I can't picture it. Every time someone tries to tell me a great relationship is like having the other half of your heart filled up, I can't help but remember that it's always felt more to me like force-feeding my already full heart a whole other person that doesn't belong in there and isn't going to fit. And then I have to be the dumper. Just once I'd like to be dumped myself, so I wouldn't have to feel like I subjected someone to yet another selfish and ultimately failed experiment.

</weirdthoughts>

Probably this is what is called "aromantic," but I think I'll wait until I'm dead to start putting labels on what I was. Maybe it could go on my tombstone, right above "HE TRIED."

[BIG OLAF]

I think I feel the way I do because when I was younger, I was emotionally abused pretty much every day of my life. Not by my family, mind you, but by just about everyone at school. I was the constant mockery of just about every other kid all the time, and eventually it just ruined my processing of what it meant to be "kind", or "loving." I'm not a dick, mind you, but I don't really have the capability to go above and beyond common courtesy. It also made me extremely spiteful, distrusting, and closed-off towards other people. It's a lot worse with females, since they were responsible for probably about 98% of my mental anguish throughout school. I hold them in the utmost contempt.

All that being said, I can say with a fair amount certainty that I never really "loved" anyone. Not in a romantic sense, and not in any other sense. I don't "love" my parents, or any of my family. I don't "love" my friends. I appreciate their company, and I don't wish harm on them, but nothing much beyond that. I've had close family members die. I've had old friends die. I never felt sad about it; never shed a tear over any loss. When something bad happens to family or friends, I can't really bring myself to care that much. I don't know if I'm sick in the head, or if I'm a robot, or what. But, people usually think I'm a piece of shit for something that I have minimal control over.

Hell, if four different psychotherapists can't fix me, I must be pretty damned broken. It doesn't help that I have extreme anxiety problems, either. I mean, just typing/sending posts on these forums freaks me out a little bit sometimes.

[redroses]

I think I feel the way I do because when I was younger, I was emotionally abused pretty much every day of my life. Not by my family, mind you, but by just about everyone at school. I was the constant mockery of just about every other kid all the time, and eventually it just ruined my processing of what it meant to be "kind", or "loving." I'm not a dick, mind you, but I don't really have the capability to go above and beyond common courtesy. It also made me extremely spiteful, distrusting, and closed-off towards other people. It's a lot worse with females, since they were responsible for probably about 98% of my mental anguish throughout school. I hold them in the utmost contempt.

All that being said, I can say with a fair amount certainty that I never really "loved" anyone. Not in a romantic sense, and not in any other sense. I don't "love" my parents, or any of my family. I don't "love" my friends. I appreciate their company, and I don't wish harm on them, but nothing much beyond that. I've had close family members die. I've had old friends die. I never felt sad about it; never shed a tear over any loss. When something bad happens to family or friends, I can't really bring myself to care that much. I don't know if I'm sick in the head, or if I'm a robot, or what. But, people usually think I'm a piece of shit for something that I have minimal control over.

Hell, if four different psychotherapists can't fix me, I must be pretty damned broken. It doesn't help that I have extreme anxiety problems, either. I mean, just typing/sending posts on these forums freaks me out a little bit sometimes.

I see where you are coming from, somewhere I can understand. I guess when one gets emotionally scarred it is pretty hard to get it away. I have had horrible experiences with my ex and it stook long on me, I became much more locked up and careful about the way I show my feelings because I was afraid of being vulnerable again.
My partner had to deal with me being like that for long, and I did feel sorry for him. Plus I didn't even want to be that way anymore, especially not because of such an ass.
So then comes the part were you decide if you want to let the past hunt you and treat people the way they treated you, or you for yourself decide you do not want it that way and just let it all go (not that is easy to accomplish, maybe even impossible for some).

I can't read from your post if you are ok with you being the way you are in this subject or not. So for now I won't say more about it, as I wouldn't want to step on your toes for maybe wrong reasons/me understanding things wrong.

[Outrider]

Maybe when I get older and lonely I'll change my mind, but to be honest I can't picture it.

How old are you, again? 19-20?

It's not that weird for somebody your age to have no interest in 'settling down' and dating just one person. Heck, dating lots of different people can be healthy as it can help you figure out what you're interested in. But it's not like there's anything wrong with not being interested in relationships. Some people just aren't. Some people are more interested in pining for someone. Others are interested in the mushy relationship stuff. And of course, some people are just interested in the sexual contact.

Love is weird like that sometimes.

Every time someone tries to tell me a great relationship is like having the other half of your heart filled up, I can't help but remember that it's always felt more to me like force-feeding my already full heart a whole other person that doesn't belong in there and isn't going to fit. And then I have to be the dumper. Just once I'd like to be dumped myself, so I wouldn't have to feel like I subjected someone to yet another selfish and ultimately failed experiment.

What I will say is this - in my experience, being in a steady and healthy relationship means never having to worry about any of that.

As exciting as the early days can be, during which you're giddy with excitement for what the relationship could be, there's also a lot to be said about the fun and contentment you can have just knowing that there's somebody with you who can rely on entirely and who you can have fun with regardless of whether you want to just sit inside watching TV or go out on the town.

Again - it's not for everybody. But for anyone who is interested in it, when the randomness of the universe makes you collide with somebody like that, it's really amazing.