My brothers and sisters, join me in prayer.
Welcome, my brothers and sisters. Today, we gather to celebrate a glorious day granted to us by our lord, Sakai. We celebrate our lord by partaking of the gifts he has bequeathed to us, and show our reverence for his glory by being the dutiful stewards of this wondrous, wondrous world. Today, let us take the time to recognize the labor of love that our lord Sakai invested on our part by recounting the history of creation.
In the beginning, our lord Sakai registered copyrights and trademarks. And so, did the bloggers scurry with speculation based on this morsel of information. Speculation wove themselves into rumors which wove into facts. And in this way, did the world come into its first, formless existence. On the second day, our lord Sakai deemed that there should be a vision to beheld and said, “let there be concept art.” And so, there was concept art. Beautiful art that ignited the imagination and teased the senses. In this way, did the world come to its first vision.
On third day, our lord Sakai deemed that this world should demand sustenance and thus spoke, “let there be cash shop.” And so, did the world find its nourishment, nursing on the teat of the vain, the indecisive, and the fickle. Our lord Sakai decreed the two great cash shops: the greater Arkz Cash to govern the wealthy and the lesser UN to govern the frugal. On the fourth day, our lord Sakai looked upon his creation and deemed it worthy to host life. He spoke, “let there be character creator,” and lo, this wondrous boon was hoisted upon the world to fill it with teeming creations of flesh and steel and silicone. So much silicone.
On the fifth day, our lord Sakai spoke, “let us test the servers, so that one day, players may come to rule over the photon arts in the discs, the rares in the world and all the other items that drop.” And so, there was beta. And again, our lord Sakai spoke, “go forth, be fruitful and multiply,” and thus, we came into beta invites. On the sixth day, the Phantasy Star Online 2 had been completed in its vast splendor in array, prepared to accept gamers from all over the globe.
By the seventh day, our lord Sakai had finished the work he had been doing, so, he rested from all its work. Then, our lord Sakai blessed the seventh day and called it maintenance.
Sit, and reflect my brothers and sisters, on the work that has been done to bring you into this marvelous world, filled with our lord’s glory and all his majesty. Come, let us give praise with the Lord’s prayer:
Our Lord, who art in Nippon,
hallowed be your name.
Thy Sega come,
your will be done, in the US as it is in Nippon.
Give us this day, our daily FUN,
and forgive us our ToS breeches,
as we have forgiven those who have breeched against us.
And lead us not into barrel,
but deliver us from Code: Avoid.
Amen.
Go forth into the world and do justice, my brothers and sisters. Peace be upon you.
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