L. m. a. o.
What you've just described is pretty darn accurate of what a team in PSO2 consists of, but there there is actually a pretty legitimate reason for it. It's most because of the game itself, and I'll explain why.
There isn't much to do in PSO2. Of the things there are to do, none of them experience increased efficiency in completion due to playing with team members so much as they do playing with good players who happen to be on your team. There is no recruitment policy on most of the English teams, it's just come and get it. This means you're going to have a wide range of both personalities and skill levels bunched together in one team chat.
Inevitably, this is going to lead to disagreements because some will feel strongly about performance here, while some will not. Teams just aren't built in the same way a strong guild in other MMOs that require good team work and synchronicity in order to be successful are. In such a guild, you must demonstrate or illustrate your goals or objectives with the game, so that the officers or guild leader can decide if they are in line with the rest of the group. Assuming they do align, you are invited, and it's because it was seemingly a good fit. This means the likelihood of you getting along with the others already on the team is very high, because you all have the same goals in mind, and working together is easier to that point. These things are, IMO, essential to the formation of a cohesive guild/team, but PSO2 in and of itself lacks the qualities to necessitate these requisites.
This frays in to your other mentions. Usually officers in guilds of other MMO games where the above is the case, these types of players have reached this position out of demonstration of not only their abilities in the game, but their ability to lead. That's why in many other games you get "Class officers", someone who can speak for the other players of their class in the team, because they have demonstrated their knowledge enough to do so. In PSO2, without content that requires any sort of constructed or organized planning, you can't point these types of players out easily, so thus, usually "friends" or "friends of friends" end up as managers early on in the making of the team. This doesn't mean all managers are bad, but it means bad apples leak through pretty often, and very easily.
The boys fawning over the girls thing is not really unusual. Boys will be boys (no matter the age), and guys have been drooling over online chicks since the dawn of online gaming.
Right now the only activity in the game that is meant to foster team effort is the tree, and as you can probably deduct, isn't enough. Getting a team MPA for an EQ or a Falz is generally always more trouble than it's worth, and you're constantly having to deal with a variety of players and folks who in all likelihood have a different idea of how to play the game than you. Constant friction is never fun. That being said there's nothing much you can do about it until SEGA mans up and adds "hard" content. Maybe a mission that you can only enter with a party of 4 people only from the same team? This would effectively "force" in-team play, especially if they put worthwhile rewards behind such a thing.
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