Yes, that's true. Always gotta move on. I can't think of much more to say on than that so *yoink*
Yes, that's true. Always gotta move on. I can't think of much more to say on than that so *yoink*
I'm very rarely depressed, I'm actually a very easy-going kind of guy. So if anyone needs a laugh, instant message me and I'll see what I can do. By the way, don't try to e-mail me, the e-mail address is fake, talk to me and if I like you, I'll give you my real e-mail.
<font face=times new roman color=7fffd4>Oh im not really depressed anymore, I have my up and down moments, but I have overcome all the depression really. I just like to help others, to show them that it is possible to overcome this illness, makes one stronger to do so<center>
aww Sciler thats rough sorry to hear that.. just wanted to say that
Life is grand, my little lovey-doves. Cherish it.
<font face=times new roman color=7fffd4>Thanks Cast
And yes it indeed is Pollo<center>
okay...damn...I just got my message erased because I didn't use the corrrect password. Here goes it again really fast.
1) Pollo your post still pisses me off everytime I read it. Everytime. But I know you're not tyring to piss me off, and it frustrates me that I can't understand what you're trying to convey. I guess since I"m probably depressed I took it personally as if I was being called selfish. I think we're looking at different things the same way. Hell, I try 24 hours a day to hide what might be my depression from everybody on the planet, especially my family, so it doesn't burden them. Every once in a whil I really did in and do indulge suicidal thoughts, but hey how come that's being selfish?
I also disagree about having skewed values rankle more. One of my bigger problems is seeing seom mistake or dissapointment as if it was the end of the world and reacting liek it, like say reading your response or letting a good freind down. I don't think that was what you were thinking of so the point didn't get across smoothly.
2)David Burns checklists. I didn't even know they were on the internet. My depression scores since novermber have been ranging 25-35 and anxiety 40-55. After a year of getting my butt kicked at college, becoming more and more isolated even from my roommates, not being able to get up till past my classes, and everynight feeling as if I was in a pit of despair and a dozen other nasty things, having test results that say "severe depression" and "extreme anxiety or panic" seemed to explain all those dark nights and those horrible things I wrote in my journal.
Excuse me if I don't motion toward a point, on top of being scatterbrained wtih no sleep (because I'm awake trying to avoid drawing) and having my original post erased I don't necessarily rememrber my point. I just remember its important to finish.
Dang... even writing this through my dreamcast in the dead moring my family won't leave me alone.
anyway
3) cherish life, its precious? right now, I really really really don't agree with you, would enjoy just dissappearing. In the morning after a good amnesia sleep so I can forget the day before I would agree with you, but right now that just doesn't feel true. Life right now feels like a ball of failures strung togehter.
4) the real reason I'm writign all this is for help with my drawings. i've been told by alot of amatures I have talnet, that I'd be doing my talet a disservice if I keep on avoiding the pencil out of fear of failure like I've been doing, hell I've even had a proffessional director tell me the same, but I can't seem to start let alone finish. For about two hours I tried to do this one pic, I can't seem to finish. rather I can't seem to hold the esteem needed to finish. Nowadays just to be able to start soemthing it has to be the last $#@$ing minute before a deadline or I have to read Anthony Robbins books, & meditate for 45 min or take what Scelia said and try to see my glass as half full. That's just to start, usually I feel sleepy (body causes excuse to stop), have sweat not brought on by heat, or plain can't keep up the self worth/esteem required to finish. I've broken alot of promises to people because I thought that would be enough incentive to make me finish, but I just have alot of broken promises now.
That's what I'm trying to ask help for now.
I don't expect a cure, I don't even know what I'm supposed to by typing anymore because I hae a ton of other problems too. So I don't, know, help or something. I hope the machine does't eat up this message
Dang, grinner, it sounds like thing are really rough for you. I'll have to put you down in my prayer book. I can remember times when I thought that death would be a good alternative too, but I have found that sticking around was a better choice. Life isn't always "grand", but it isn't unbearable at the sametime. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to e-mail you and talk to you privatley (?) about how I made it through the lowest times of my life and, am now, one of the happiest people I know. Just remember, don't give up, fight the good fight, press on, finish the race.
And when all else fails, use cheat codes.
<font face=times new roman color=7FFFD4>Grinner-thinking of suicide is semi-normal when dealing with depression, attempting suicide is selfish, and here are my reasons why.
First, tehre are many people out there dying from cancers and other diseases, just trying to fight for thier place on this world...to live, then there are those of us who are overall healthy, have our place on this world, but would throw it all away because we're a little distraught at the time. THAT to me is selfish. Ive had the thoughts myself, but then I realise I could never cause that kind of pain to my friends and family...those who dont care, yes I see as selfish. The only reason Im saying all this is because I have saved about 4 lives these past 3 weeks, Im exhausted, but thankfully I opened their eyes a bit to things out there past themselves. Life gets better and its worth living! The good times will outwiegh the bad. Ive been through a large helping of shit, but I have pushed on and fought with my entire being at wanting to live. Theres just too much to do out there to not experience it.
Heh, now that I've rambled enough, I do sympathise with you hun, you definitely arent alone in your feelings...but you asked why it is seen as selfish, and that was my personal reason as to why.<center>
~Video Game Vixen~PSO Bitch
<font color=Gray><u>Character</u></font color>
<font color=green>Akumi-Lvl 61-Hunewearl
Sciler-Lvl 7-Hunewearl
<img src=http://images.honesty.com/imagedata/h/129/95/31299564.jpg></img>
<font size=1>[ This message was edited by: Sciler on 2001-04-11 15:42 ]</font>
Go Sciler, you are my kind of chick. Keep up that awesomeness. Don't forget people, there is a God out there, and he knows a worse pain than we could ever experiance. If anyone is interested in hearing about it, e-mail me at [email protected], I'll be glad to share.
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