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  1. #1

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    Chapter 1: The adventure starts

    The three hunters walked around Ragol in the forest it was getting dark and Zlaf Krad, a Ranger got paniky.
    'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?!'
    With that 10 boomas springed from the trees. The hunter (pan) took out his Flowerens Sword and laughed as he effortlessly cut through 5 of the boomas. Another person (a Force called Asuka Chan) fired several foies at the other 5. It was then that they noticed that Zlaf Krad had dissapered...
    'Strange...' pan muttered 'I cant see Zlaf Krad!'
    Both Asuka Chan and Pan shook their heads in despair as they reallized they would need a new teammate.

    Then, 10 more boomas sneaked up behind them without them knowing. IT was then, as the claws were going to come down that a HUcast who was black armored and wore a samurai helmet swang his blade at them - his twin swords and killedd the boomas.

    'Who are you?' Pan and Asuka Chan said in perfect unison.
    The lone hunter dissapered. As Asuka Chan and Pan walked to the teleporter all they could discuss about was the lone hunter in black.



    <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Over on 2003-12-22 06:59 ]</font>

  2. #2

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    Um, uh....I don't know how to break it to you, but, uh....
    It was...creative. And the, uh....make-up artists obviously did a good job. The scenery was well painted, and that's all the good things I can say about it.

  3. #3

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    Chapter 2: Living in Fire

    Pan was exhausted and went to sleep immediantly that night. Pan was up and wondering what to do. He had had 2 hours sleep and couldnt get to sleep again because he could hear... screams!?
    It was then that they attacked. 10000 assorted Boomas and Dimininas took everyone on Pioneer 2 prisoner until both asuka chan and pan hid behind the Bank. A familier voice said 'GIVE ME THEM MESETA!' It was then that Pan and Asuka Chan sprung up and killed the booma. The head came off and beneath it lay the body of their best freind : Zlaf Krad they weeped as they were taken away to a slave pit. They worked for ther next 5 days planing their rebellion against the evil boomas and saw the hunter that saved them in the forest operating a machine whilst being whipped by a booma. Perperation dripped down the androids face as he pulled a giant log. 'Hello, my name is Raziel Kai, i was the one that saved you.' Pan and asuka invited him to the secret room they had build underneth the desert of toil and death where the boomas had taken them. It was there that pan divised a simple and cunning plan
    'We run in there and kill them'
    Asuka Chan and Raziel Kai did not look impressed. They got the crude weapons that pan and asuka chan had built and setup their positions. Asuka chan would wait till the Booma guard is in the Waterwasher and freeze the guard as he pours the water on himself. Then pan and raziel would go and setoff the alarm in the outer realm, giving the prisoners time to equip some weapons while the guards were busy.

    Most of it worked until they got to the alarm computer.
    'How can we set this off?' Pan asked. They wasted valuable minutes trying to set it off and i would only be a matter of time until the guard in the Waterwasher was spotted. Suddenly a RAcaseal in red walked in. 'i can help you with that.' She exclaimed as she inputed a command. All the alarm bells started ringing in the outer realm of the camp. She said her name was Rasuper and that she had followed them underground. She gave them their weapons after grinding them. Rasuper used a Inferno Bazooka called Firestorm, Raziel Kai used a powerfull twin saber called Zaponas, Asuka Chan drew her talis cards named Icirarus and Pan drew his Yamato called Finotas. They soon went into tactical manuvers. pan would be a close range specialist whilst RAsuper would take out the boomas from a sniping position. Asuka chan would equip the prisoners and Raziel Kai would defend them. Pan charged towards the boomas, 'COME AND GET ME!' he shouted at them and they thundered towards him. pan watched bullets rage down on the boomas and magic come towards the boomas pan saw Raziel Kai killing several of them and saving 100 of the survivors. The boomas were soon dead.
    'We must go.' Said Rasuper 'More of them will come and we will lose. We must move on and attack, i must tell you of the four treasurs. they and they only will end the war.


    <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Over on 2003-12-22 09:34 ]</font>

  4. #4
    La Chupacabra-1/2 Azn Ogre KaFKa's Avatar
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    read

    well, it seems that you have an idea where you're going, thats good. descriptory text and character progression could be better.

  5. #5

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    ok thanks 4 feedback! next chapter comin soon

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