I need to vent. I need to figure out why things are. Like, f

[Axispoint]

Just either adding to rants or adding in my own

On 2004-08-04 17:46, LollipopLolita wrote:
2) I hate you sun. I lather up with SPF 85 and you still fucking burn me. What gives? Do you seek me out? Do you get a cheap thrill? Are you contracting with the HMO that will eventually pay for my skin cancer removal? What?? Tell me. Tell me how not to get burnt and I'll do it. Staying indoors is just not an option.

This year, I haven't gotten a sunburn. The bad news is I got a mostly second degree burn from a machine at word a month or two ago. And after that, everytime I was on that machine I burned myself until I got a kevlar burn sleeve and a glove to wear (edit: I had to request the burn sleeve, as I didn't even know my work had them until someone suggested I see if they have any...I didn't even think of it :-/ ). In fact, last time I was on the machine, Monday, was the first time I've ever been on that machine and didn't burn myself (I've been on it 5 times and burned myself 4 times).

5)Okay. WHERE. in hell are all these bugs coming from?!!!!

I'm really starting to think my work mutates bugs (how, I don't know) as I have seen some absolutely HUGE bugs running around in there. I saw one the size of a golfball one day >_< And there was a big moth one day (not quite as big as a golfball) and someone had taped it to the table on the machines that make the cheapy safety glasses. That was...interesting, to say the least.

And one day I had a little brown insect hang around my machine all the time I was on it (like 5 or 6 hours). It just sat there on my box the whole time, never moved. I guess it liked that spot

To the spiders: spiders as big as you can only have one function, and it has to be something utterly terrible like eating children or paralyzing dogs or something. So what the hell are you doing in my house all the time? And for the love of all that is good and holy, when I come at you with a wad of toilet paper, PLEASE stop that friggin JUMPING bullshit!!! My God! Do you not HEAR my roomie shriek like a little girl every time? Are you TRYING to humiliate her? Do you get a KICK out of making a grown woman screech like a schoolgirl?! Just bloody let me grab you in the toilet paper wad and bloody take it like a man... spider!

My friend at work once named a spider after my boss and then prompty stomped on it. Otherwise, I actually don't see that many spiders >_<

And finally, to the junebugs: HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL ARE YOU GETTING IN HERE??!!! You're all ENORMOUS!!!! Where the hell are you COMING from? You're bloody disgusting!!! STAY THE HELL OUTSIDE!!!!

I see a lot of those squashed at work. I guess we've unofficially (or maybe officially) declared war on them >_< lol



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Axispoint on 2004-08-04 20:20 ]</font>

[Bradicus]

All of this reminds me of a wasp i saw last weekend.

As my friends and i sat outside, a large wasp lumbered throught the air in front of us. The strange thing was, it had a five inch piece of straw coming off of one of its legs.

Now, i don't know how the hell it got on there so secure, but i was able to reach out and grab the damn thing. I flew the little guy like a kite for about 30 seconds O_o

After letting go, the straw-wasp buzzed away.

[Aredhel]

On 2004-08-04 17:46, LollipopLolita wrote:

The friggin flies in my outdoor shower: I demand an explanation.

Hmm...

*grabs binoculars*



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Aredhel on 2004-08-04 20:41 ]</font>

[AUTO_]

On 2004-08-04 20:41, Aredhel wrote:

On 2004-08-04 17:46, LollipopLolita wrote:

The friggin flies in my outdoor shower: I demand an explanation.

Hmm...

*grabs binoculars*

You're so immature!

*sips tea*


Give me the binoculars when you're done. I'll give you a cookie.


Seriously though...an outdoor shower? No wonder you're attracting bugs, men, dogs, sunlight.

Reading this rant I've come to the realization just how many bugs disgust me and just generally put me in a nasty disposition.

Thanks.

[Aredhel]

^

*sigh* I live in Florida, so most of you wouldn't have any idea as to why/how someone would find 5 wolf spiders within 5 feet of one another on the patio. Not trying to say I'm some sort of entomologist, but when you find a grasshopper the size of a banana in your back yard...

it just does somethin' to a man...

[Tycho]

Bugs are just... eww.
I saw a hummingbird a few weeks ago, but the way it flapped it's wings, it sounded like a beetle. >_> I'd seen hummingbirds before, but since last time they're starting to freak me out.
In CA we used to have ants all over the place, but this year, I guess they all died or something, thank god..

I especially HATE mosquitos. I don't even really care about them stealing blood, or the itching. It's the fucking sound they make to keep you awake.

"ZOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMM!"

Naaaaaawwwww! *freaks out*
*turns on lights*
*no mosquitos*
*guards the room for 4 more hours*
*gives up, then goes to sleep*
*sleeps*
*wakes up*

Fook, they got me!
Nooo!

[Nai_Calus]

On 2004-08-04 17:46, LollipopLolita wrote:
1) Why can't I get off my artichoke fix? Really. I've been in California for years now and it's still not getting old. I wonder if there's a group for this. I can't be the only one ODing on hearts and butter.

It's because artichokes are evil and laced with crack, my love. I shall help you break your fiendish addiction!

2) I hate you sun. I lather up with SPF 85 and you still fucking burn me. What gives? Do you seek me out? Do you get a cheap thrill? Are you contracting with the HMO that will eventually pay for my skin cancer removal? What?? Tell me. Tell me how not to get burnt and I'll do it. Staying indoors is just not an option.

I find that threats, hats and dark clothing all help.

3) Dropped calls. I live right by friggin Silicon Valley. The center of the techie universe. Yet, for God knows what reason, I still cannot drive from home to downtown without dropping a call. TWICE. Hear that? TWICE. Fix the fucking infrastructure. I'd have better luck in Guam. I swear.

They do it specifically to annoy you. ~_~ Bastards.

4) I can't find a couch. Really. I thought I'd be able to peruse Ebay or go to Ikea or something and just pick one up. There are like 5,000 different kinds and non of them are a) my taste, or if they are my taste then b) comfortable. WTF? Does everything have to be so complicated? I just want a bloody couch that I can bloody sit on to bloody watch TV. Not to repeat myself, but, really, WTF.

Pray to the sofa gods, that always worked for me in past lives.

5)Okay. WHERE. in hell are all these bugs coming from?!!!!

Jesus Christ! It's like it got warm out and every bug in California has taken refuge from the heat in my house and backyard!

The friggin flies in my outdoor shower: I demand an explanation. I friggin kill all four of you every morning, only to wake up and find that you have reanimated yourselves. What kind of messed up voodoo shit are you four up to in there while I'm asleep?

And the gnats that keep landing on my bananas? Who ARE you?!! Eff OFF!!

To the spiders: spiders as big as you can only have one function, and it has to be something utterly terrible like eating children or paralyzing dogs or something. So what the hell are you doing in my house all the time? And for the love of all that is good and holy, when I come at you with a wad of toilet paper, PLEASE stop that friggin JUMPING bullshit!!! My God! Do you not HEAR my roomie shriek like a little girl every time? Are you TRYING to humiliate her? Do you get a KICK out of making a grown woman screech like a schoolgirl?! Just bloody let me grab you in the toilet paper wad and bloody take it like a man... spider!

And the silverfish? I'm sorry. You are by far the most disgusting creatures on earth and you are the most cogent evidence of the existence of Satan that I can think of. What in the hell do you need all those bloody legs for? You are utterly gross.

And finally, to the junebugs: HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL ARE YOU GETTING IN HERE??!!! You're all ENORMOUS!!!! Where the hell are you COMING from? You're bloody disgusting!!! STAY THE HELL OUTSIDE!!!!

Clearly, you need to drop a giant shoe on your residence to squish them. I'll get the Rati Army to bring it over tommorow, ok?

6) Lastly, what is up with those Brits looking like Link with a beard? Come on now, seriously!?

I don't know, I just don't know. ;_;

And that's why it's so sad.

Now THIS is a RANT.

Yes, indeed my love, indeed it is. <3

[Armok]

Bugs is what you get in return for good weather. Here the weathers always shit so we get nothing more than shitty ants and wasps.

[AUTO_]

On 2004-08-05 09:39, Armok wrote:
Bugs is what you get in return for good weather. Here the weathers always shit so we get nothing more than shitty ants and wasps.

I like that idea, shitty bugs for shitty weather.

[Myopathy]

Hmm, after reading Lolli's rant, I am certainly very glad we don't get a lot of bugs here in Houston. I think it's because the weather just totally sucks here and no bugs would want to live here. I mean it was them middle of summer, and we had a flash flood warning because it was raining so much. -.-