Apparently I am very bad person.

[Mystil]

You're right.

I am a mean person.

I used to be a nice caring guy a very long time ago. There is a reason for it but I am ashamed to tell.

My anger is my shield. When I believe you are trying to hurt me in anyway I will use anger to ward you off. Unfortunatly this has had some unwanted social side effects. I try hard to control my anger, harder than you think..

If I befriend you it is because I sense no ill intent on top of displaying all the qualities I look for in a friend.

I do not think people have it better than me. Social wise a lot of people do. In PSU I see it everyday. Groups of happy players, while I'm just there alone wondering what qualities they look for in a person. Obviously as it seems, I do not posess such qualities. And I refuse to act like some happy go lucky person just to get friends.

In the real world, my mom is really the only one who personally attacks me, alot of it IS brought on by my actions, it has got so bad that anything I do, she will think I did it to be nasty.

I have 2 friends, one them has been my friend since '88. The friends who broke into my home were also childhood friends. They turned to drugs - it changed them. And maybe a bit of envy cause I was the only one working and could buy anything. But they knew..they knew...all they had to was ask. I didn't do wrong to them.

One of my better PSU friends, I did a lot of shit to him. Blacklisting, flipping out. I have apologized for this, and true friends are those who remain after such abuse, but it's not needed as proof so don't think that. He talks to me atleast, but it'd be better if we just play together.

I always felt that being able to read minds would make my life easy. To know how people feel about me, cause they'll never tell you anyway.

Garroway I am a fucked up person. You should be satisfied with the truth now. Yes - there is no way in fucking hell anyone would wont to deal with a bitter man like myself.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Mystil on 2007-05-23 16:29 ]</font>

[Azuriel]

Fundamentally incorrect. A "Bad" person, is mere perception. Trusting others perceptions of you, and actually taking it in at all, is worthless. Instead turn it around, and beleive that by them attempting to make your feel bad, you must have something within your personality that they want.

[DurakkenX]

yes you are a bad person...now embrace it and plot to take over the world... or kill someone either is equally fine for bad people.

[Sinue_v2]

Fundamentally incorrect. A "Bad" person, is mere perception. Trusting others perceptions of you, and actually taking it in at all, is worthless. Instead turn it around, and beleive that by them attempting to make your feel bad, you must have something within your personality that they want.

Doubletalk, and advocacy of delusion.

Weither you are or are not a bad person, I couldn't say. Noone here really can unless they know you personally. I will say that posting about it on PSOworld doesn't help your case (IMO) though, since people often do come here to create little pitty parties for themselves - fishing for sympathy in the ananonmyity (sp?) of the internet. A quick emotional pick-me-up when noone else will take their shit, and nothing more.

Again, may or may not be the case here - I don't know because I don't know you. Just saying it happens. As a head's up though, by posting in this manner, you're lumping yourself in that category.

If this is such a problem that you're having extreme difficulties finding friends both in real life and on the internet, then I think you seriously need to take a look inside yourself and find out what it is that's preventing you from forming these freindships. Swallow a piece of humble pie and ask people, honestly, what it is about yourself that annoys them. Don't get defensive, just learn from it.

Now, this isn't to say that you should change who you are. Far from it. But by knowing youself better, being secure in yourself, and by knowing how other's percieve you, you can better learn how to deal with others - and identify others around you that you might get along better with. It may be easier to "find your clique", rather than trying to maintain false friendships and fit in with people who will never be your friend.

And for god's sake, chill out a bit with the whole "Upholding your end of the friendship" deal. Friendships aren't contracts that need to be carried out under certain stipulations. There's a chance you'll get used, and a chance you'll end up being a better friend to some than they are friends to you in return. That's life. Everyone deals with that. Cherish those who do honestly try to return your friendship on THEIR OWN TERMS, and don't force those who never will into trying. You'll only further push them away and piss them off.

And don't get emo over the whole deal. It may be hard, but try to have a sence of humor about it and take it in stride. Nobody likes and emo.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sinue_v2 on 2007-05-24 16:42 ]</font>

[DikkyRay]

http://emosong.ytmnd.com/
dont turn into this......

[Mystil]

Being bitter and being emo are too different things. Don't worry I wont get sucked down myspace lane.

[Garroway]

You're right about bitter being different from being "emo". However, I'm sure that you've heard the expression that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." It works the same way for most everything. You might see yourself as a bitter angry person, but the rest of us are seeing "emo".

[Mystil]

You and DikkyRay(doesn't surprize me) see me as "emo" which would be incorrect. I'm sure others do, but atleast they have the respect to IGNORE this thread. Anger and despair give me energy. But I don't wont it. You seem to think I have no right to be defensive in this scenario. If I was able to switch roles with you, you would see what I experience. I wont downplay your own life, I'm sure there are things I would not wont to deal with. You came in here and made yourself look like a little ignorant fool. "15 year old" "think everyone has it better". And just because I'm 24 does not mean I should be this.. STRONG AND BRAWN BRICK WALL OF STOIC PROPORTIONS. I am a human. A human who likes interacting with other humans. A human with emotions, a human who will display these emotions because he naturally can't help it. Go FUCK YOURSELF if you believe I should be like you.

[Gaderffii]

On 2007-05-22 08:57, Mystil wrote:
My mom thinks I'm possessed by the devil, now this is a lady who has a lot of fun disecting my personality and telling me in every detail what is wrong with it.

Your mom needs to see a shrink.

On 2007-05-23 13:04, Garroway wrote:
Alright, I guess I'll be the bad guy here.

Mystil, you remind me of a 15-year-old who believes that he has the whole world figured out but is very frustrated because, for some reason, things aren't lining up to match his world view. I almost can't believe this is where you're at, at 24. You seem to think that we have it better than you somehow. Like bad things just don't happen to us so we can't possibly understand how hard it is for you. Unfortunately bad things (and some VERY bad things) happen to all of us. Instead of crying about your problems you need to toughen up and start solving them.

As far as your problem with making friends goes. You have said a lot of things on this forum that suggest that your anything but honest with people about who you are. If you spend all of your time pretending to be something that you're not how could anyone ever know you well enough to really be your friend. You're only going to attract people who are interested in your false personnality, and that's only going to lead to frustration for everybody involved.

BTW, Garroway, that wasn't necessary.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Gaderffii on 2007-05-26 20:45 ]</font>

[kimaya]

Friends can be a big drain on your emotional resources and patience. The upkeep is just not worth it except in the rare case. I don't think there is anything wrong with being selective, not trusting people, not liking people, etc. And there is nothing emo about it so long as you are OK with just being by yourself or with a few valued and trustworthy people. It sounds like you are doing a little bit of soul searching, (and hey so what, its on the PSO-World forums. I think that is more indicative of your nature to not care about making friends than really being emo, personally), no harm in that.

In my opinion concerning friends, It's not the quantity its the quality - but there are plenty of people who feel otherwise, and well, they can all hang out together. I suck at making friends too, but I have long since realized it's a choice I am making (in part) based on the effort I put into it. In other words: this is my true preference. :3

Now all that being said, social skills are required to be successful in the real world (like college or a career)... so keep that in mind. As for in the game though, enjoy yourself and play how you want. That is the point of it after all.