Vending Machines

[AzureBlaze]

If you do not like vending machines, then you will probably also not like the "Diet Chips" story, but here it is. It's full of thrills, excitement and chivalry. Or not. It's true, although absurd, and I was only a spectator in the long battle. Read my only vending-machine story at the risk of wasteing your time

There is this sort of run-down highschool that had a vending machine. But the school also hosted other events/classes. The vending machine was made for use in a school, which meant it was encased in a heavy steel cage, to prevent people from abusing it. The only hole was where you could get the food out.

So someone wanted some lame "Diet Baked Sun-Chips" out of the machine and put in fifty cents. The turning thing didn't turn enough, and they didn't fall. Beating the machine was less effective because the cage was there to prevent it. So, she put in another 50 cents, thinking to get 2 bags and give the other to her friend. Neither bag fell. At this, the crowd of about 7 people got angry, but some guy took pity upon the disgusting-chip-plight, and put in his 50 cents, even though he didn't want any terrible chips. It's a good thing he didn't want any, as no chips fell.

Now, there was an angry mob of people at the machine, trying to bodyslam, kick and tilt it to make it give up the food. Eventually, some teachers from one of the other classes came out and yelled, because it sounded like the apocalypse. (The vending machine cage was held to a steel support beam by two heavy chains and padlocks, but it could still be rocked about an inch) and if the machine was rocked, the cage would boom to the concrete floor, and cause it to not dispense chips.

A dollar fifty had now been put inside just for a single bag of chips which weren't that good. Like some kind of insane auction, they raised it to two dollars! No chips. But the first intended bag was hanging on by a corner. Surely another heavy beating would at least cause this percarious bag to fall. It had become a matter of pride: gang of 7 humans vs. one heavily armored vending machine with a penchant for stealing. Who would win!

That steel cage probably got the whooping of it's life and they threatened to call the cops because it sounded like the gang was trying to bring down the whole building over a sack of Sun-Chips. Finally, two bags fell, and there was minor satisfaction. The machine got the last laugh though...as someone decided they wanted a Butterfinger. Which it dispensed promptly.

[derBauer]

Reach your hand up it?

I grab those MF'ers and shake them back and forth until candy bars start falling like rain. I went to a movie the other night "Eurotrip" and brought my free Hershey w/ Almond and Twizzlers with me. I still bought the $4 bag of popcorn so I ended up not saving money anyway. At least I got free candy though.

[DarthFomar]

Ummm....you wanna know why they really suck.

Well for starters, they overcharge?!
They are sometimes put in the most inconvenient places?!
Their selections can sometimes blow?!
And everytime I go to push the coresponding button to the drink that will quench my thrist *preferably Nestle Ice Tea* it always says SOLD OUT?!

Vending Machines are crap...through and through?!!!

[Armok]

I always wondered though how the can machines managed to not make the cans fizz over as soon as you opened them. I just found out recently that its dark magic that does it.

We used to have a bottle machine at my old collage though. One day they accidently forgot to lock it after it was refilled. 100 or so must have been stolen within the 10 minutes before they noticed.

[Atax]

A simlar thing happened to a vending machine at one of my old schools.

I placed some cash into it before noticing the 'out of service' sign, decided what-the-hell and pushed the button for my drink anyway. Not only did it give me my drink, but also the exact amount of cash I put into it.

Spent my entire lunch break emptying it out.

[Aunt_Betty]

I remember at computer camp, these Teenagers always went out to get soda.

At the end of the session the staff handed out awards and the teens recieved a "Caffine Award"

[Alielle]

I bought some orange juice from a vending machine at school recently.

It had expired a year earlier.

That's really telling of the dietary habits of my classmates. x_x

[Vanango]

Some high tech vending machines will call HQ when they are in need of service. My friend found this out the hardway. Every 2 hours his phone would ring and on the other end it sounded like a fax machine/dial up sound. He thought it was a prank calls at first, but it got really ridiculous and he contacted the phone company. It turns out that the vending machine's phone number hadn't been reprogrammed and it was using an old phone number but in a new area code.

It would be sorta neat to be called by a vending machine.

[FOAtHeart]

Or the worst thing is when you're trying to put your dollar in, but the dumbass vending machine just keeps spitting it out because of one little folded corner, while all the obnoxious impatient people behind you just stare, and tap their feet, and say hurry up while your trying to get a fucking drink.


Wow one sentance.

[DarthFomar]

Oh....trust me....the vending machine will take your dollar. Just bash it upside the head a few times. Blow a few holes in it with an AK. And throw your dollar in the money collector and take any damn coke you want.

I once accidentally smacked {smacked mind you, not beat} a coke machine and got 2 {not 1, 2} cokes....free. I happened to have been walking by and just gave it a little tap on the cover b'cuz I hated the thing in the first place. And it pops out 2 free cokes. I was like *God loves me...he really does*.